hopeless but hoping, smiling but torn inside

Everything around me moves so fast

And i feel like i’m in the same place

And i wouldn’t want to be anywhere else yet

Because you don’t have whole world problems to solve

You didn't want a relationship

And you said you don't have feelings for me

So i moved on

To something promising

To someone more caring

I shouldn't care what you think

Or if you get hurt

Cuz probably it's just in my head and you don't even think about it

But even if you do

Nothing compares to how you hurt me

And I'm not doing it to get back at you

I'm doing it to make me happy

Or at least i didn't wish i could go back and undone it

I always thought that it was a lesson

But what we had between us

Hurt me like hell

And it made everything so complicated

We were friends

And we got along

But now you barely talk to me

And it's not even my fault that we're like that

You the one that acted like shit

So why do i blame myself?

Maybe i care too much

It's either pain

Or emptiness

Never have i known something different

With pain i would suffer

But also feel excited

And have hope

I get to feel my emotions to the fullest

But with emptiness

There's nothing

Nothing to hope for, nothing to be excited about

I don't want to choose pain

And i don't want to be the kind of person who enjoys it

But at times it feels like the better option

Emptiness comes after a long session of feeling hurt

When I'm just accepting the thing that made me so anxious

And when i realise there's not really a way out

And it passes when i find a new dream that eventually gets crashed by my high hopes

Now I'm empty

She looks into his eyes

And caresses his face

She's lost in thought

On how disappointed she is that she let herself in his arms again

She knows it's only for the night