It's been a while and almost a hundred new followers since I've done an "about me" post. I figured it was probably time to fix that.

Hi, I'm Kieran. I'm 29, I go by she/they pronouns

I write fanfiction and post headcanons and meta / observations / rants to the void about my fandoms and hyperfixations in my spare time (I work full-time as a server, but don't feel comfortable sharing what company I work at). I do accept requests for writing and headcanons, my inbox is always open for those and to just chat!

I have a large range of fandoms that I write for, but tend to cycle through and only focus on a handful at a time. Currently my fandom focus is Project Hail Mary, The Nice Guys, and The Fall Guy (aka I'm hyperfixated on the Ryan Gosling Cinematic Universe)

This post will also act as a "Before You Follow" post, and an invitation to unfollow me to any newbies around here that don't feel comfortable sticking around with the following information out there:

As a writing blog, I have a few rules:

I do not condone ship bashing. I'm also a multi-shipper within most of my fandoms rather than have one ship that I focus in on. I like some variety in my writing. Any harassment that stems from me writing a ship that isn't majority in a fandom or that "gets in the way" of a popular ship will be answered by a block. I'm not the person to try that with.

I don't condone white-washing - be it via fancasts or culturally in portrayal. As someone with Romani heritage who grew up removed from a culture that I have to learn now that I have access to the side of my family that it comes from, I will always go to bat for people and cultures that aren't being represented or heard.

I'm very conscious of tagging triggering topics when I post my writing. If you like seeing my content but need something specific tagged as a trigger, please reach out (anon or not, I want anyone who takes up with my content to be safe reading it), and I'll make sure the topic is tagged both pre-content in post and in the tags from now on.

I do cover some pretty heavy topics in my writing at times, as I write for a lot of characters with trauma in their histories or that deal with addiction. Again, please heed the trigger warnings and just shoot me a message or anon ask if you'd like me to tag anything specific.

As a person, I also have the following heads up to give:

I'm neurodivergent

I'm non-binary, aroflux, demisexual (to be read as: homophobic and transphobic comments ain't gonna fly with me)

I don't have posting schedules, it's very much a "when I have time" or "when I finish it" kind of mess of a blog.

He was being trained to kill on order at 23, an age at which he should have been in college or with a job.

And honestly? I think if life had been a little more fair - a better situation or an exit strategy being prepared for him, either way - he would have chosen a career path that would have made a difference in a better way. I think he would've gone into social work, and he would have been a damn good advocate.

obviously this isn't to be taken seriously. this is just something that has been tossed around and discussed off and on for a bit with a friend, as the two of us are currently in separate hyper-fixations that accidentally crossed over due to a shared actress. And seeing as we can't come up with a way that would make sense to write it, might as well share it, right?

Obviously, with this being mostly MCU Marvel, I feel the need to give the following precursors: no, I don't care that the MCU has tied Peter to the Avengers. I loathe that decision. This is SOLELY a Tom Holland!Spidey universe post just because that's what created this chaotic little brain child. I will be ignoring the existence of the Avengers as a general thing. And as much as I hate putting DNI limits on my posts, I feel the need to because I am unfortunately well versed in Marvel / MCU fan spaces: this post is NOT a irondad/spiderson space. Do not interact with this post if you decide to view it through that lens.

For anyone who is here for the Marvel side of things, please do go check out @withahyphen for all of your TH!Spider-Man needs. She is solely responsible for the Spider-Man side of things for this.

Without further ado:

Baseline AU information: post-events of The Nice Guys. No set Spider-Man timeline. This came about because the actress for Holly is also the actress for Betty Brant in the Spider-Man movies, and the two characters share a lot of similar habits.

The March family relocates to NYC post events of The Nice Guys. Don't ask why, maybe it was a request from Holly because clearly rebuilding is a pipe dream and her and her dad both just got put through something incredibly terrifying or maybe it was because Holland burned his reputation in California and thus they had to relocate if he was ever going to get another job. Doesn't really matter, point is, they're in New York now. Healy either went with them because he doesn't trust Holland to keep the kid safe on his own when he's still staying drunk more often than not or just visits on occasion.

More realistically, though: Holland pissed off a lot of very powerful people. He wants to keep Holly safe. They go to New York, Healy pushes him to enroll her in school under a name with no ties to the March one in an effort to give a cushion so someone doesn't try to snatch the kid to get to Holland - because they would, and he would fall for it, and both of them would get killed over it. So he does it. He hates it, but he does it - she gets a say in her name and just never mentions her family to anyone in more than vague terms. Thus the creation of Betty Brant.

She's still smart as a whip and nosy and the parentified kid of an eternal fuck up. She still has Healy on speed dial for when Holland is going off the deep end. The issue here isn't her side of things. It's who she's in school with.

She's a naturally competitive person. She's in school with Peter Parker. They butt heads, for sure, but she likes the distraction from what's going on at home.

The issue comes in the form of Spider-Man, ultimately, not Peter Parker.

Because her dad likes to put his nose where it doesn't belong for cash. He squeezes money out of people in an insane way - less so since the move, but still enough that she constantly tells him yes, actually, he is a bad person holy shit dad why are you like this even though she knows it's just him trying to make up for being a fuck up. She doesn't want fancy things or new presents or money, she wants her dad back, but she knows he isn't there yet. That she might never get her dad back.

So of course, Holland March crosses paths with Spider-Man one night while he's doing some shady shit for a PI case. And of course, his habit of talking comes up in front of the worst vigilante to have a habit of yapping around. Ruins the case immediately, but not before Spider-Man webs his mouth shut so he can get a word in.

It's not the last run in they have. Of course it's not, Holland doesn't know when to quit and Spider-Man has the tendency to keep tabs on any PIs or get-away drivers or new henchmen that show up in his neck of the woods. Helps that this one is so chatty, and sometimes he doesn't even get in the way as long as what Holland is doing at the time isn't putting other innocent people at risk. It certainly helps if Healy's around to reign him in, but that isn't a constant situation regardless.

That said, you know Peter has pattern recognition skills. So after a few run ins with Holland, he notices patterns in Holly (Betty) and just pauses because no, he knows those habits, where are those from?

Which comes to a head during some event where parents are at the school. Science fair or parent teacher night, who cares what it is. Holland shows up because Holly asks him to and yeah he's a fuck up but his daughter asked him for something and by god he's going to give it to her.

Peter watches them bicker from across the room and it clicks. Shit, he's webbed up her dad before. Cue him having to be nice and pretend he's never seen Holland ever when he ends up in their vicinity because all three of them are chatty so he can't just avoid saying hi when Holly speaks to him first and oh no, Holland's eyes are narrowing as he stares at Peter and Holland just nods and says something along the lines of his daughter constantly complaining about him and holy shit that could have gone so much worse. Has he ever mentioned that he really hates having to interact with people when family nights happen at schools?

That said, I think things get remarkably worse if Holly ever decides she has to go with Holland for a case ever because you can't tell me that girl isn't going to be a problem to Spider-Man for the fun of it because she doesn't care about this case, she just knows her dad is being particularly stupid and doesn't want him to die over something that someone is paying him like 400 bucks to poke at. Just imagine the lecture Spider-Man gives when Holly gets herself in danger (again) to save her dad's ass (again). Holly just sits in the driver's seat of a car that she doesn't have a license to drive and watches while Spider-Man yells at her dad for child endangerment and stupidity and is entirely unsurprised when Holland's answer is to look like a pathetic little drowned kitten and to light a cigarette right in a vigilante's face. This is par for the course.

as determined by the poll I posted last night, the first of the posts I've been hoarding to be shared is just going to be me yapping about Ryland Grace. Do I have detailed stuff to get into for some of this? Yes, absolutely. But I've found that it's very hard to articulate details and make my point clear in my excitement so I will just expand on things later on in different posts.

That said, I would like to request the following: I love love love BloodyMary as a ship. Do not turn this into BloodyMary content if you reblog it. I love Simon (loved Iron Lung), but I have to say I am not a fan of the separate character tags only really holding ship content as of late. These boys are their own people, I'd love to see them treated as such. Thank you for understanding!

And so, without further ado:

Teaching:

king of bell ringers and spoken quizzes. He knows test and quiz anxiety is real, experienced it himself in school, so he does his best to turn his games into actual review so the tests themselves don't feel so bad.

Offers his students an open-schedule for makeup work. He never wants to fail a student in his class just because something was happening in their lives preventing them from doing their work on time.

Keeps a drawer full of quiet stim toys for any of the kids who need them.

Circling back to the quizzes, I'm stealing a habit from one of my own science teachers back during middle school: short timed quizzes are taken with "Don't Fear The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult playing as their timer. Can confirm it takes a lot of the panic out considering it's a decently long song with changes in the instruments that mark specific timestamps.

Has a bad habit of just zoning out while he's doing grading. Has to do his marking at work so someone can check on him.

little doodles and notes on any assignments he's graded!

his room is always left open for any kids who want to have lunch in there. He's constantly caught up in the gossip trade because he likes listening to the kids talk and will offer advice if asked.

mandated reporter reminder jokes constantly. He knows kids don't mean everything they say and want to warn them away from trouble but also always wants them to know if they need help, he's there. Really, he makes these jokes more around adults than the kids.

this man does not eat lunch. He survives the day off whatever he had at breakfast, then sugar until dinner. His kids sometimes bring fruit cups for him because it's an unfortunately well known habit.

General:

as I mentioned in this year's pride post: aroace spectrum. Demiromantic, sex-neutral asexual.

audhd. I do not need to explain this, just look at him.

listen to me. listen. this man does not recognize flirting. people will flirt with him and he will either feel super weirded out because "that was strange, wasn't it? what was that about?" OR he will think they were just being super nice.

does not actually remember most of his childhood (I will make a separate post about this because I've been meaning to yap about my thoughts on this with the Coltland Gentry au ANYWAY). He does, however, know that he really hates crying in front of people. It usually sends him into a panic attack unless whoever he's around is someone he's super close with.

chronic migraine haver. Talking from personal experience here, sour candy is a solid 9/10 trick for managing symptoms on a bad migraine day when you have them chronically. Meds don't touch it, but sour candy does. Hence Grace's affinity for sour skittles.

sometimes his mouth gets ahead of his brain. there's a reason that public speaking scares the hell out of him. He genuinely never knows what he's going to end up saying.

absolutely loves crochet and fibre arts goods. Cannot knit or sew or crochet to save his life.

mild ARFID tied to sensory issues with certain food textures.

I definitely will! The poll is just for a "which first" sort of situation so I can try to get back on track with posting.

It's clear in the way him and Holly interact that he used to be better. Her friends / classmates seem familiar with him and their parents trust him mostly unattended around a group of kids, suggesting he was more involved in things before his wife died. When they're not snipping at each other, there are glimpses of a better relationship dynamic between him and Holly. She feels comfortable disobeying him and knows she's safe with him there even if he's an idiot who stays drunk all the time.

Yes, she's raising her father during the events of the movie. It wasn't always that way, though.

Holly is Holland March's entire world. Every time he's locked in on a situation, it has been for her - to keep her safe, to keep a promise he made to her.

He's far from father of the year, but he tries despite the fact that it's clear he doesn't want to be alive.

It wasn't intentional, of course. He would never intentionally harm his family. But he couldn't smell the leak from the furnace. I'd bet he forgot about it and lit a cigarette one night while staring at case details for something, a bundle of stress while his wife and daughter slept, and next thing he knew the house was gone and he had his daughter in his arms but his wife never made it out of the fire.

Ryland Grace:

aroace spec. Fully, I think demiromantic, sex-neutral asexual. Cisgender but no strong feelings one way or another about gender in general.

puts strong emphasis on his platonic relationships, doesn't really understand the hype about romantic or sexual partnerships.

platonic cuddling! He loves casual physical touch and hates that society sexualizes physical affection so much. He just wants to be able to kiss his friends' cheeks and hold their hand and cuddle with them without people being like "oh you're sleeping with them!" no, he's not, he just loves them and physical touch is one of his primary love languages.

had a QPR situation going on with Stratt pre-launch. Genuinely distraught when it was pointed out to him by Ilyukhina that people thought he was sleeping with Stratt once the confusion had been worked through.

General thoughts about fandom ships: give me Grace with platonic life partners instead of the traditional romantic partnership any day.

He makes me feel very seen. Exploring what I thought fit him certainly threw me into my own crisis though so like... props for that, I guess.

Colt Seavers:

Bisexual, cisgender man. This boy is PEAK bisexual disaster. It's super fun.

Let me be so clear about something right now, Colt is never the one wearing the pants in the relationship regardless of who he's with. He is a puppy in human form.

Love love love him and Jody. I think once they learn how to communicate, they bring out the best in each other.

Healthy relationships for the win, he doesn't abandon friendships to focus his whole life on a romantic partner, nor does he expect that from whoever he's with.

Courtland Gentry:

Unlabeled. While I can only speak of movie!verse, I just can't see a version of him where he knows a damn thing about his identity. I mean, he was still a kid when he went to prison and he didn't really have the time or opportunity after the Sierra program got him out to figure anything out and explore.

I don't think he'd know what to do in a romantic situation. He's so used to being a living weapon that actual human connection sort of stumps him.

If he ever had the chance to explore it, I'm not so sure he'd be overly fussed about the gender of his partner. Pretty sure his focus would be more on keeping them safe from the sharper parts of his life.

Driver:

biromantic, demisexual. I can't explain it, it's just a vibe. He craves human connection so much but not in a strictly physical sense.

if a feral stray was a human, basically. The second he's shown a bit of kindness, feelings show up. The physical aspect of a relationship comes much much much later.

king of "I just want to exist close to you". Physical touch is very very intimate to him.

Super protective / possessive. Probably not the healthiest when in a relationship - but damn if he wouldn't kill to keep whoever he's with safe.

Opinions on fandom ships: I've seen a lot of people shipping him and Colt and that's adorable. I love me some sun-moon vibe dynamics.

Holland March:

pansexual, demiromantic.

He's still actively grieving his wife when we meet him in the movie so I'm not sure if I got the right read or not but I choose to believe yes. I feel like he's afraid of emotional vulnerability over physical so

pathetic little man. brat. He is never the one calling the shots ever in any relationship be it platonic or romantic.

I don't think he's got a super hard grip on his gender identity. I see a lot of people peg him as trans and while I love that, I think he leans more towards agender.

opinions on fandom ships: him and Healy can be in a qpr but I don't understand why everyone thinks they had romantic chemistry. They didn't. That's problematic best friends that are coparenting at most.

Lars Lindstrom:

acespec (with the note that I do think his avoidance of physical relationships and sex are a trauma response), undefined queer.

Doesn't put a whole lot of weight into the gender if he's interested in someone, I don't think. Emotional connections rather than aesthetic attraction.

Lars was the one I struggled with most because I do relate to him a lot and it's hard to put to words exactly what I think of his identity.

Anyway! Here is the plan!

1. Pride post! I do one every year for whatever my current main fandom is because I love yapping and I like sitting down and exploring character identities. This year's fandom is the RyGos characters, clearly, since that has taken over my life. Post is half written but not coherent because I started it while I had alarming amounts of nyquil in my system. So uh. Gotta make that make sense first.

2. I'm so glad people seem to be enjoying me yapping about the Coltland Gentry au. More content for that is coming now that I can sit up without dying a little! I'd like to formally apologize ahead of time for all of it and assure everyone that I'm kissing the bricks before I throw them each time. I do this out of love. So that said, this is also a reminder that my dms and asks are open if anyone wants to come yell about these characters or ask what I think. And! Bc I know I never tag my shit right, I feel the need to say that you guys are always welcome to add onto posts if you share them. I love opening notifications and seeing yall yapping in tags when you reblog stuff. I don't have nearly enough people in my life to yap with so it makes me happy.

3. An apology ahead of time because I'm dipping my toes into the RyGos Cinematic Universe HOWEVER: I am absolutely terrible at watching movies. Six movies in a couple short weeks is unheard of, this usually takes me two years or more. As such, there are a good amount of his movies that I haven't watched yet and unfortunately there are some that I likely won't watch at all. The ones I've watched so far are the following: Project Hail Mary, The Fall Guy, The Gray Man, The Nice Guys, Lars and The Real Girl, and Drive.

4. Planned content: obviously the Pride post. I also will be sharing general headcanons for characters, ship content (I'd just like to remind everyone to tread very carefully, 911 and Voltron being former fandoms of mine has left Trauma behind), and general yapping about doomed siblings. Drabbles and fics are also in the plan but I can't share too much about those because I've only got concepts right now.

Obviously, I'd love suggestions for other movies to watch, as I'm notoriously bad at researching films and going through filmography. I've been following tiktok as it puts clips on my feed for this journey until now but it's since stopped being helpful.

Yes, we all know Eva Stratt sacrificed her closest friend to save the entirety of planet Earth. We know what it cost her. We know there was never another choice and that she hated making the choice she did but that the needs of the many outweighed her own happiness and the lives of three very brave people.

But let's, for a moment, pause and look at it through Grace's eyes. Because I haven't seen enough people put weight to what he lost in all of this.

Yes, it was a suicide mission. He told her she was murdering him. He was right, until he wasn't. Yes, he was betrayed by one of his closest friends - but he doesn't hold it against her. It took some time, but he never hated Eva Stratt for making him earth's sacrificial lamb when he was too afraid to make that decision on his own.

What he did lose, when he was sent on the mission against his will, was his safe space.

Because she was that for him. He searched for her in every crowded area they went to, was around her so much that the entire task force crew and both sets of astronauts meant for this mission thought they were together, acknowledged him as Stratt's first officer when the title was never handed to him officially. She made him feel safe. Until she didn't.

But there's something so heart-breakingly devastating about Stratt and Grace.

Yes, it's true that Colt is brash. He's good at being mean. He yells and is generally the twin people see as quick to anger. He's also, arguably, the more emotionally mature of the twins. He lashes out on his own behalf to push people away after his accident. He picks fights to protect his loved ones. To learn that being told his older brother was dead was a lie would devastate him. There would be no anger from Colt - it would be the stiffled crying and trying to tough it out and a soft why would you lie? and looking like he's going to crumble because his world has had to shift again in a way no one person was ever meant to bear.

Ryland, however. Ryland would be mad. He's mourned this man, has watched Colt mourn, and suddenly that was all a waste? A lie? Him calling the leading scholar in his field a staggering waste of carbon is about to be gentle compared to the righteous fury he would possess. He would cry, yes, but they would be angry tears and he would utter every cop-out he could to avoid cursing, and it would all culminate to how DARE you do that

Ryland "it's been a while since I've taken pills from a stranger" Grace was definitely the wild child of the twins in college. I'm talking pre-doctorate studies college days, where Colt was with him more often than not because it was before he went into stunt work.

Colt knows Ryland does stupid shit sometimes, wants to keep an eye on him, so he shows up at this lame party to babysit and make sure his brother gets back to their shared dorm space safely. Colt grabbing a laced drink meant for Ryland and downing it and proceeding to have the first trip of his life but trying to act Totally Normal about it so he can keep his twin brother safe because that's what Court always told him to do when they were kids.

Ryland seeing Colt tense and look around constantly like he was tracking something but not being able to see what, having been in this exact spot the last time he went out alone, doing his best to keep Colt in a position where he can see him and everything else is background, watching out for him and making sure they leave and make it home safely without making it seem like he's the one looking after Colt - because he doesn't want to make what seems like a normal trip into a Bad one by making Colt panic because he thinks something is wrong.

He was being put in cuffs and pulled from Colt and Ryland while they were sat on the back of an ambulance wrapped up together in a blanket to combat the shock, and he could hear the panicked sobbing from Ry and the piercing loud "no, Court!" from Colt as he was pulled away from their sides.

The judge used Gentry, and it made him feel dirty. Same with the other inmates.

Colt showing up and answering questions and being a general chaotic nuisance but proving that the stuff they're learning can be applied to jobs that aren't just working in a lab - he uses a lot of what they're learning basics of in stunt work!

It's a yearly thing from the very first year of Ryland teaching.

Fast forward to the year that Ryland disappears on his class, gets sent to space against his will while the world at large is told he volunteered.

Colt shows up the same time he had every year to see Ry's kids. The looks of hope in their eyes cut to his soul, as do the fallen smiles when they realize it's Colt at the front of the room, not Ryland.

whatever you do, don't think about the fact that Court, as the oldest of the Gentry siblings, was the one to look after Colt and Ryland. He saw first steps, first words, and is probably the one to teach them to tie their shoes and ride bikes and be curious about the world around them. He was their anchor, their protector.

Don't think about the fact that in protecting them, he took himself away from them forever.

Don't think about the fact that he was still there for every major event in their lives, long after they believed him dead.

And don't think about the fact that he would have seen the headlines. Colt Seavers believed to be dead. Project Hail Mary's launch, crew members Yao Li-Jie, Olesya Ilyukhina, and Ryland Grace on a one way trip to Tau Ceti.