I can't rest

Today my feelings are a little all over the place. I’m worried about going back to work. I’m excited at the same time. I have less than a week left if I start on the projected start date. I really hope I do. I have not been contributing with finances and it makes me feel a lot of guilt and shame. Those feelings of guilt and shame trigger flashbacks sometimes. I’m learning to focus on what is in front of me and not things like the flashbacks. I am trying to focus on the good. I’ve even gone ahead and looked into joining support groups. I think it might help if I see and talk to people going through the same thing. I have the opportunity to participate in one today and I’m nervous about that. I don’t know if I’ll participate or not. Maybe tomorrow I’ll talk about it on here if I do.