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@myheartsariot
Pavlov:
I need a new lamp because the turn of the switch sounds like you shutting the light off for us.
Only now it’s not followed by a kiss and an all night long hand hold.
Instead it’s a dark empty moment, where I’m thinking that I need to get a new lamp.
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Addiction influences traumatic experiences
The kind you can’t even imagine one survives
Doesn’t this person know happiness or love?
How lonely it must be to sleep in the cold
Is anyone holding them?
How lonely it must feel to wash up at a gas station
Can they even look themselves in the mirror
How lonely it just feel to run, run and run.
Addiction influences traumatic relationships
The kind that never leave you
Don’t you know this isn’t sustainable?
I’ll probably never get over it
Just the same way summer never fully leaves
When we have 50 degree weather in January
I relate
As you creep in my mind during all of the times you shouldn’t
And each and every time I feel the same way I did
On the last phone call we had together
Why can I only write poems when I’m sad?
I know this feeling, it visits me a few times a year.
Why am I inspired when I miss you?
I know this feeling, it’s never left me.
Why am I still writing about you?
I know this feeling, i know this feeling,
I dread this feeling a few times a year.
The guilt is an ever falling trench.
A wound I can’t crawl myself out of.
If only I had not done the things I did
If only I hadn’t let the darkness turn me
dark.
I could have kept you
and loved you the way I’ve finally learned to love.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I wish I knew
A hot summer day is ten times worse with a heroin habit.
The dark brown liquid seeps right out of my pores as I sweat, and conjure my next move.
A hot summer day is ten more times better than that when you work for an ice cream truck;
Cold smooth milk refreshes,
Constant cash flow, slows the conjuring.
That hot summer day was ten times more hot after I met you and then so was my heroin habit,
the next summer, and the next.
A hot summer day has never been the same since those hot summer days we washed away in the foggy car in the rain.
What’s worse than the latter?
The memories of a hot summer day that was ten times worse because of my heroin habit, and ten more times worse because you became the next move that I conjured for the rest of the days I’ve been not washing away in the foggy car in the rain.
Have you ever become so invested in a love story on a tv show
And you know just the person who would be cast to play that role with you
Because you’ve experienced it
Felt it
The passion
The trembles
The love
The ache
And when the season ends you remember
You aren’t the same person you were 7 years ago
A bitter sweet awakening
To long for a time when you were killing yourself
For love that didn’t exist
Outside of your own mind.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I’ve never stopped drowning in the thoughts of you that I believe I’ve become able to breathe under water.
As I find myself rushing through all of my days
I’ve realized the problem isn’t that I don’t understand what it is to be in the moment;
That is exactly what I wish to achieve
Being in the moment, with you.
Sometimes I wonder
If the nights I dream about you
You’re also dreaming;
Something along our line of electricity
That nothing can disrupt
Because the wave is so strong.
You’re the only person I believed
Your calm gentle whisper
No other sound compares to that one
No other sound travels straight to my heart center.
When you find your strength
Being tested
Remember that’s what strength is for
Like studying for an exam
Call on all you have learned
Escalators only move in one way
Let yourself glide
Toward the rest of your life
With grace
Let yourself cry
Away the pain of loss
And let yourself find the strength to accept
Loss
Call on all you have learned
With grace
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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You said my eyes Were so intense Like they were piercing you As if yours didn’t Strike my face Like yours weren’t fierce too
They say I keep Too many secrets But you know all of them You are my only Buried treasure Sapphire mixed with obsidian
I said you’re in my blood Like caffeine Keeping my mind energized I see all the words You never say Just from looking in your eyes
Maybe the chase is why we’re meant to be
I’ll never stop chasing you
And you’ll never stop chasing me
It keeps things exciting that way
In which someone makes you feel both hole and never complete
It makes running worth it
Because we never get out of breath
