mysterious

angelic

enigmatic

ethereal

boisterous

list of things I am:

introverted

tired

sleepy

confused

I was talking about the stupid things I had done in high school.  How the stories I wrote were stupid and how all I ever wanted to draw was anime shit (which was stupid) and how immature I could be, etc etc etc.

and she was like “Why are you so determined to beat up on Little Maggie?”

It took me off guard, I was like “what do you mean?”

“Why do you keep saying Little Maggie is stupid?  You say she was stupid and immature but wasn’t she just a teenager?  Do you not like who you were as a teenager?”

I shrugged and was like “I think teenage me was very creative and was probably just having fun and being a teenager…”

“So why beat up on her and call her stupid and embarrassing?”

“I dunno, because I guess now I’ve learned a lot.”

“But she was young.  She didn’t know.  I’m just telling you this because if you keep beating up on Little Maggie, you have to remember that she grows up to be you.  When you put bruises and scars on Little Maggie, you’re leaving all the healing for Big Maggie.  Your insecurity about who you were as a child is going to come through into your adulthood.  Be nice to Little Maggie.”

And I’d never really thought of that before?  It seems status quo to just… hate who you used to be for not knowing enough, but that’s totally illogical.  Of course a younger version of you doesn’t know what you know and can’t act with the wisdom that you act.

And even if Little Maggie was writing silly stories about her friends while ripping off anime and drawing her own “manga” and being immature and goofy, she was having fun, she was being creative, she was enjoying the things she liked and she wasn’t hurting anyone.

She’s part of my past and hating her is hating the foundation of who I eventually became.