moon

The fact that he wanted to make sure he was prepared, and what I cope with, and how my meds affect me (or lack thereof) was very endearing and I greatly appreciated it. He has seen my struggles some days, between my AuDHD and my OCD and has been supportive and helpful, and checks on me and my well-being, so him now being my boss is a huge plus.

ADHD ruins lives. The suicide rate of ADHDers is heartbreaking. ADHD comorbid with major depression is the norm, not the exception. ADHD also comes comorbid with fun things like Binge Eating Disorder and substance abuse addictions, because our brains literally don’t make enough dopamine to function. The rate of comorbidity with autism is sky high, often compounding the issues we face and the difficulty we have in getting proper help.

People are destroyed by this disorder and how it makes adapting to neurotypical society basically impossible and the absolute wrenching agony of that reality. We all have horror stories of medical providers, teachers, bosses, parents, telling us we’re making things up, or we’re exhibiting “drug seeking behavior”, that ADHD is fake, or the bizarre notion that one just “grows out of it”. Getting assistance for things like work and school accommodations can be a nightmare, because many neurotypicals making decisions about who can access these accommodations consider ADHD to be a mild annoyance at worst, despite it being a disability recognized and covered by the Americans With Disabilities Act.

sure, it can be fun to be the MPDG ADHDer. but 9/10 times it’s nowhere near as fun as it looks, and you don’t see the pain that being a messy, frantic, cupiditous, fickle, mercurial, hypersexual, chaotic, distracted, manic-depressive bundle of hyper sensitive nerves who can’t keep track of anything or finish anything or stick anything out, pay bills on time, or basically exist as a functioning human in society, brings with it.

CAUSE IM HER KINDA BOY. AND ALSO, HER GIRL.

Surviving under late stage capitalism is hard, especially when you’re out of spoons and you’re lucky if you have a plastic knife. We’re here to help. 

The Sad Bastard Cookbook: Food You Can Make So You Don’t Die is a community-built, vegetarian/vegan guide to getting food in your facehole when you’re suffering from depression. Or other mental illnesses or physical illnesses or *waves hand generally at the state of the world* anything else. 

We’ve made it free on our website because life sucks enough without having to give Jeff Bezos money, but we also do have a paperback copy available for sale over there too, since we also need to eat.

eating! if u have an adhd, a autism, a ed or any sort of disorder that makes feeding urself difficult! here is an advice!

make shopping list!! infinite shopping list for ur safest foods that make you comfortable!!

this isnt "lists of food i dont have but want" this is "lists of good foods"

a good time to do this is when you have a fully stocked kitchen, so you can just take a wander and write down the things you see!

if youd like to take a gander at mine, here it is atm (work in progress)

did not eat

new hyperfixation and no time for it

have not done a creative in 24 hrs

Bad Sounds

clothes are touching my body

cold

people

one (1) comment is stuck in my brain like a popcorn kernel

last time I drank water was ??????

nervous nervous nervous nervous

got a Slightly Worse grade than expected

last hug was ??????

slept a full 45 minutes

lonely ............

guts are shredding (again)

have not seen sunlight in 24 hrs

stuck inside

too much screen time

Yay Overwhelm

room is disaster area

have not talked to Person in a while

bored

imposter phenomenon (again)

no current routine

how long have I been working???

Too Much Socialization

and then. and THEN. I may consider:

I recently got put on this method through a YouTube video recommended to me called the Sharp Ax method. Name doesn't matter, I'm gonna skip right to telling you what to do.

You have a notebook? Maybe one that you've horded and used once or twice before abandoning? Grab that shit. Get your favorite pen. At the top of the page you're going to write "Brain Dump". For like, 10-15 minutes, just sit there and write down every thought that comes to mind. Does your back hurt? Write it. Do you have to make breakfast? Write it.

But here's the thing: if there's something you need to do (paperwork, showering, shopping, etc) you're gonna write it like this.

"I want to shower." "I want to check the mailbox." "I want to do my laundry today."

For whatever reason, reframing things you need to do as things you want to do has helped me so immensely, and even when I can't finish all the things I want to finish, I still feel good for finishing the ones I was able to.

I am married to a man who has combined ADHD.

And I want to say something on his behalf, because it's not said nor recognised by the mainstream enough:

ADHD is a disability.

It's badly named, and it's treated with complete disdain. See a hyper kid? "oh, he's just a little ADHD". Get distracted by something shiny? "oh! It's all ADHD! like a squirrel! Lol"

They treat it like my husband doesn't struggle to move some days, can't think, can't get himself organised, can't perform basic levels of ADLs on some days, can't engage, can't disengage, can't cope.

It's not fun, it's not quirky. It's a self-regulation disability that literally ceases his life from moving forward for long periods of time.

He's not distracted by shiny objects like a squirrel.

He can't sit, can't stop moving, can't concentrate, then gets stuck staring, almost locked in himself for hours because he can't function.

The ADHD community gets blocked out by the disability community because it's not mainstream recognised in many places as the disability that it is. But there are places, like here in Australia, that are actively trying to change that.

I am married to a man who has combined ADHD.

And I want to say something on his behalf, because it's not said nor recognised by the mainstream enough:

ADHD is a disability.

It's badly named, and it's treated with complete disdain. See a hyper kid? "oh, he's just a little ADHD". Get distracted by something shiny? "oh! It's all ADHD! like a squirrel! Lol"

They treat it like my husband doesn't struggle to move some days, can't think, can't get himself organised, can't perform basic levels of ADLs on some days, can't engage, can't disengage, can't cope.

It's not fun, it's not quirky. It's a self-regulation disability that literally ceases his life from moving forward for long periods of time.

He's not distracted by shiny objects like a squirrel.

He can't sit, can't stop moving, can't concentrate, then gets stuck staring, almost locked in himself for hours because he can't function.

The ADHD community gets blocked out by the disability community because it's not mainstream recognised in many places as the disability that it is. But there are places, like here in Australia, that are actively trying to change that.

The floor drops away from under you when you're diagnosed as an adult.

You've spent years perfecting coping mechanisms, setting masks perfectly in place, practicing socialising, forcing things that made you uncomfortable or confused (for reasons you couldn't comprehend).

Then you get the diagnosis and... That's it. No one tells you what to do. How to cope, how to survive.

All you know is that you've spent your life hurting yourself. Your mental health is shot, you're most likely depressed, anxious, burntout...

And you never had to do that. It didn't have to be that way.

I'm not saying I wished I was diagnosed as a child. I don't. That would have a whole other bag of problems.