the darkest parts of my mind

Call me old fashioned, but I think the president saying "a whole civilization will die tonight" is the part where he should be deposed immediately.

Let! That! Baby! Eat!!!!!!

absolutely LOST in the sauce

cannot fucking believe how many notes this has and continues to get

Violet: Sit down, I'm gonna torture you now Xaden, smirking: kinky. Violet: I think you're sweet and breathtaking. Xaden: What— Violet: You deserve to be cared for. Xaden: Stop, now— Violet: Your feelings are valid and deserve to be heard. Xaden: I need a safeword!

As a former humanities student, I feel it is my duty to reblog this one.

discord is broken? tumblr is a cesspit? twitter is evil? join us on bleeble! talkr is free ^w^. all your friends are moving over to deadjournal. harassmeonline is open source and the devs only killed three people. nobodytalksforum has great moderators. poob's starting up an sms app. use poob. give poob your phone number. talk to me on poob. go to poob. dive into poob. poob has me for you. poob has me for you.

I have to reblog this every time because frankly this is absolutely genius prose

I badly want to start saying “this is my Swarovski Shrek” to refer to any outrageously expensive yet ridiculous object I start coveting. If anyone says “what the fuck” and asks what I mean, well. It’s their lucky day to learn about Swarovski Shrek

WHAT THE HELL THERE'S SO MANY??