Real life is hard sometimes.
A year and three months ago, my crush started dating a friend of mine.
A year and two months ago, I realised I needed to move on and started dating a friend of mine.
A year and one months ago, my crush and his girlfriend break up because they realised they were better as friends.
Eight months ago, I break up with my boyfriend because I'm starting to realise I fell in love with the idea of a boyfriend, and I liked my actual boyfriend much better as a friend. My feelings for my crush hadn't gone away.
Seven months ago, my crush started talking to a girl he met at college. He sounds fond of her. I'm happy for him, but it hurts me.
Five months ago, my crush started dating a girl he met at college.
Im happy for them, I really think he deserves it and I can see the good it does him, but I am hurt.
I think I'm starting to realise this isn't some stupid wattpad fanfiction/lovestory where we are both pining for eachother but the timing is bad. This is real life, and I am really in love with a close friend of mine, who I know very well, who I love dispite his weaknesses and faults, but who sees me as just a friend.
Still I can't help but hope, imagine somehow he feels the same way, though I don't know why he would.
I cant help thinking back to the times I spent alone with him, talking for hours on end over discord because we had nothing else to do. Sitting together during a free persiod back at highschool, playing cards. Going to a playground at night and smoking weed because we felt like shit.
Sometimes I cant help but wonder what would've happened, had I kissed him then.
Real life is hard sometimes