Parent: My kid screams after dinner every evening
Expert: Your dishwasher is really loud and makes the floor vibrate, have you tried running the dishwasher later?
Parent: My kid wonât eat
Expert: Now it could be for the forced eye contact and physical proximity of the family dinner table, it could also be a matter of texture, colour or certain tastes like bitter or sour, letâs try different things.
Parent: My kid yells when I want them to do homework straight away when we get back from school
Expert: The social part of school is draining for your child, have a nap/quiet-time then do homework
Parent: my child hates their grandfather and goes silent when weâre at their house.
Expert: Grandfather demands hugs, calls child a wierdo when they share their interests, calls them a wuss for having food preferences and keeps the tv on at high volume even during conversations, what did you expect?
Parent: My child is deliberately embarrasing me in front of my friends
Expert: Itâs not about you. Children donât set out to deliberatly embarrass their parents, thatâs paranoid nonsense. Also stop dragging your child to events you know will be unpleasant to them.
Parents: Iâm devastated, my child is wierd and everyone can tell and people look at me like iâm wierd and theyâre not going to give me grandchildren or a wedding or become a lawyer like me and my father before me or a sports star and doesnât like many of my interestsâŚ
Expert: You self absorbed asshole. Your child is not a mini-me, not there to fulfill your lost dreams, or fill in for adult friendships. If you canât change and learn to appreciate whatâs interesting about your kid and only see negatives and milestones that even a neurotypical child might not achieve anyway, Iâm calling child services.
Parent: My kid is terrible at school, they wonât sit still in class and chatter all the time and ask the teacher lots of questions and prefer playing cards to tag
Expert: What are their grades like?
Parent: Very good,*sigh* I guess. Teachers have been quite enthusiastic butâŚ
Expert: Thatâs your childâs way of focusing and socializing. You have a smart child and canât even say so because youâre focusing on the differences again.
Parent: My child never tells me if theyâre happy or sad.
Expert: Look closer, what gestures mean Iâm in pain? what gestures mean iâm happy? Kid has been humming snippets of songs, tapping fingers and sat close to you but beside the sofa on the floor during this conversation. Happy, paying attention and wanting to be close to you. Right kid? You doing ok there?
Kid: *current kid slang for yeah dude totally rad but without tone* goes back to humming
blakekathryn
tangentwithtanner
