Regret piles up and it gasps out as tears

With the Budokan live just around the corner, Dir en grey are charging ahead at full throttle. Getting this far must have taken more than ordinary effort… Huh?! But you didn't have any guts as kids?!

In their first theme interview, this month we talk to vocalist Kyo and guitarist Kaoru.

– Kyo and Kaoru, would you say you have guts / fighting spirit?

Kyo: I don't have any (laughs).

Kaoru: When I was in elementary school, I was on a soccer team. But I hated practice. Summer was hot, winter was cold (laughs). I really liked playing soccer, and I was pretty fast – a decent player – so I was always put in matches. But my team had a rule: if you didn't show up for practice, you wouldn't get a uniform. So I never got a uniform of my own. I'd just borrow someone else's uniform and start the game.

– You didn't go to practice at all?

Kaoru: No, sometimes – but whenever I went, I'd always think, "I shouldn't have come after all" (laughs).

Kyo: I also took karate in elementary school. I loved Jackie Chan. But you know, in karate you climb mountains barefoot. Even though it's a dojo, there are tacks and things on the ground – they'd stick in your feet, the stones hurt, and you'd have to climb ridiculously long flights of stairs. Then when you get back to the dojo, you'd have to sit in seiza and recite some weird saying: "Karate is blah blah blah…" I was like, "This isn't Jackie Chan at all!" So I quit (laughs).

– How long did that take?

Kyo: 3–4 months (laughs).

– Oh dear. No guts indeed (laughs). What about schoolwork?

Kaoru: Hardly at all (laughs). I almost never studied. But even people who don't study usually cram before exams, right? I didn't even do that. I'm not proud of it (laughs), but whether it was studying or soccer practice, I just couldn't do the whole "steady effort" thing.

Kyo: I never studied either. I think I did even less than Kaoru (laughs). The only time I really put my guts into something at school was during class – trying to see how well I could draw Gundam in my notebook (laughs).

– Getting there… (laughs)

Kaoru: Yeah, that happened to me too. In my case it was a desk – my desk was covered in manga doodles. I drew directly with magic markers (laughs).

Kyo (continuing): I carved Goku on the right side of my desk and Piccolo on the left with a carving knife. So my printouts and stuff were all bumpy (laughs).

– That in itself takes some guts, in a way (laughs). So when did you actually start developing guts?

Kaoru: I think it started when I began working part-time jobs. I did all sorts of things, but the takoyaki shop and the glass factory were intense. When it came to grilling takoyaki and packing glasses into boxes, I couldn't lose to anyone. Pro-level (laughs). And on top of that, it was 12-hour shifts. So I'd work 12 hours straight. Back then, I thought to myself, "Yeah, I really do have guts."

– Okay, the guts are starting to show (laughs).

Kyo: My part-time jobs… Sorting frozen food, moving company, central wholesale market, etc. I didn't get paid for any of them. I didn't do much work, so I couldn't just go pick up money. I was working for free (laughs).

– What a waste! So when exactly did Kyo finally get guts…? (laughs)

Kaoru: Maybe we developed guts after we started playing in a band.

Kyo: That's right.

Kaoru: Right. Even with my previous band, we did intense tours, so I'd sleep in the car the whole time. That meant I never recovered from fatigue. My body would be heavy, but I'd have to put on makeup and do the live show.

Kyo: In a cramped car. Me and Shinya were doing something like yoga – we learned how to sleep in weird positions (laughs). We never even stayed in hotels.

Kaoru: Yeah. Being able to stay somewhere with a sauna…

– So you cultivated your guts there.

Kyo: At the time, I thought if the band disappeared, I wouldn't be able to do anything else.

Kaoru: We did over 100 live shows in one year, right? But we were doing something we enjoyed, so it wasn't that hard.

– Did you take turns driving?

Kaoru: No, Die usually did the driving. He was pretty much the only one with a license. But Die was tired too, so he'd fall asleep while driving. Then he'd suddenly wake up with a truck right in front of him.

– Whoa! What the heck?! (laughs)

Kyo: So because it was dangerous, Die would pull over at a rest area or something and sleep. We wanted to get home quickly, but you can't just wake him up and say "you drive," right? So we'd all wait in silence for about four hours. We went through that hardship together – maybe that's why we can understand each other without saying a word.

– That era is exactly why you are where you are today. Good – a beautiful ending (laughs).

Dir en grey Ultra-thin-waist Girl 1998.8.25

This time, the shoot features Kyo and Kaoru. During the pre-shoot meeting, the two said, "Since it's just the two of us, let's do something different." Ideas like "mummy and Dracula" came up, but the mummy idea was rejected because wrapping bandages would hide their faces (laughs). Kyo's suggestion was adopted: "How about Kaoru as Dracula, and I'll be the girl who gets bitten by Dracula? Shall we go with that?"

Now, the day of the shoot. The two appeared at the shooting location, SOHO'S (an Italian restaurant in Setagaya), fully made up. "I did my eyes a bit differently than usual today," said Kyo. Indeed, different from his usual intense look – slightly elegant, like a girl. Cute ♡ And the costume? Rented from Shinya. This is ... a 55cm waist!! The manager asked, "Kyo, can you fit into this?" What a enviably slender body !!!!

Kaoru wore a best suit and a mantle, topped with a silk hat – feeling completely like Count Dracula. Oh, so cool! But the prepared fangs wouldn't fit properly. "When I open my mouth, they slip…" he said, baring his fangs and pretending to bite Kyo's neck – click went the camera. But... when they looked at the finished photos: "...You can't even see the fangs (laughs)" (surprise). Still, doesn't it give off a great atmosphere? I think there are tons of girls who would say, "I wouldn't mind being bitten by Kaoru the vampire ♡"

Photographer: Mr. Hideyuki Yajima Writer: Ms. Eriko Takahashi Thanks to: Ms. Tomoko Shirakabe & Mr. Inoue , Mr. Hikaru Morita of East West Japan

These were signed polaroids you could win and it drives me insane daily that someone has these. And they've not been publicly shared. Kaoru about to bite Kyo's neck.. I'm so normal.