JOIN MY NEOPETS GUILD

i cant believe mori and taynea re btoh fucking uselesse in battle

they are the kind of ppl where one person jumps off a ledge and dies and the other follows right after. instead of learning from the first person’s mistake.

☣ he’s not a good nightmare court WHICH IS BAD FOR HIM IN HIS EYES. hes betraying them by removing himself from them. he’s VERY GULLIBLE. if you told him santa is real then he would beleive you. ANYONE CAN TRICK HIM INTO DOING SOMETHING. a skritt can easily fool him into doing labor bc rhoden will fall for it.

❄ Humid wet weather. Feels Good on the leaves. But he loooves the rain and when its cloudy. *brooding*

🍸 celebrating???? celebrate what??? hes so bad at celebrating or throwing a social event. he would drink a lot of punch until he needs to pee and hide in hte bathroom. he’d get drunk then yell orders at people and everyone arguing with him that this is a party and he needs to chill. he wakes up the next day in the chips bowl with his dick in the cake.

if anniversary, its the same thing but his yelling is towards areseph and him gifting roses, telling areseph that its nightmare court babies.

volaank

He’s a proud durmand priory warrior. He’s pretty serious, doesn’t oppose having fun but its hard for him to let loose bc hes so used to working. He feels he can never be off duty. Doesnt get the whole scholarly outlook the priory has, not big into books but he likes how they run things. kinda detached from charr culture. 

daddy

hes just an older man who ls young at heart. he isnt rowdy or party hard but a very social person. He not worried about finding The One, beleives destiny will take him where he needs to go. very aloof.

dennis

shy big guy. he idolizes all his siblings. POSSIBLY THE YOUNGEST??? he choseto do elemental magic(specializies in water) bc its pretty :3. he wants to be a supportive ele. since water is like?? heaing and shit?? yeah. its hard for him to break outta this shell tho.

Gaia

lovely norn lady who loves to summon dead shit. she has no want to settle with a man bc they arent worth her time. shes very flirty but not liek sexy flirty?? gives people tons of compliments and very encouraging in passions. she has a love for poetry and gardening. her ideal world is at the grove but doesnt hate hoelbrek. its home.

saeyor

a necromancer who is TRYING to study bringing things to life more permnantly. hes a very cheery guy but also gets distracted VERY easily. he isnt aware of his surroundings and will not notice advances if he isnt giving that person his 100% attention. hes usually so buried in his work. hes a big nerd and will talk nonstop about necromancy.

Kroxa

evil inquest girl. she doesnt agree with all of how the inquest does shit so shes trying to move up in ranks and over take it. shes NOT power hungry, just wants to be boss and make some changes. very stubborn and very competitive. while she is inquest shes not against other asuras. shes determined to make changes in her culture. shes a genius and she knows it. 

Sparris

Inquisitor’s Name: Patrice

Alternate Name?: ???Grey Warden Recruiter

Race, Class, & Specialization: GREY WARDEN?? ROGUE??????? ASSASSIN??

Varric’s Nickname for them: gramps

Default Tarot Card: hhh? JUSTICE???????????

How they are recruited: shit what did we say??

if you side with templars you get patrice in the grey warden mission at western approach or something. he comes with noah as just an extra at skyhold 

Where they are in Skyhold: IDFK??? OUTSIDE NEAR THE BATTLEMENTS? or by the bar/tavern probably

Things they Generally Approve of: templar talk, mage talk, supporting grey wardens, peaceful resolve to things, SAVING people and giving them second chances

Things they Generally Disapprove of: political talk, blood magic is a touchy subject, unnecessary meaness or killing, talking shit about mages in general...talking shit about noah

Mages, Templars, Other?: he sees strength in both. he believes templars are needed to keep out of control blood mages at bay but also realizes that there are mages who are being unjustly opressed. he would be """for templars"""" in that they are NEEDED but doesnt agree with all their views. (hes still pro mage)

Friends in the Inquisition: (which canon characters are they close with?) god

he def is good friends with cullen but gets along with anyone??? is friendliest towards blackwall, "another grey warden", he prob doesnt get much from solas, viviene or sera. esp solas.. 

THE ONLY CANON CHARS I CAN SEE HIM HAVING an actual friendship?? cullen, cassandra, inquisitor. maybe a friendly admiration to dorian.

Romanceable?: IVE BEEN THINKING THIS before??? IM NOT SURE.. maybe a super special condition, male mage possibly. 

my other idea is NO. NOT AT ALL. you can flirt with him as much as you want but the romance will never advance any further than just flirting.

its like with vivienne only you can continously hit on him but nothing gets established.

Small side mission: help recruit people for grey wardens. there would be like 2 in every level so its like that memories of a grey warden type of deal.

esp after the whole shit that happens with the grey wardens summoning a demon army, they need new members and PATRICE IS A GREY WARDEN RECRUITER

Companion quest: (IF PATRICE IS CHOSEN) things get rocky between noah and patrice!! the mission is to help patrice muster the courage and fix things. this can have you either gaining or losing alliance with some grey wardens. breaking them up woud deteriorate the future of grey wardens AND you end up losing one of them. (possibly losing noah?? since it didnt get patched up. patrice will probably give up being a warden?? has a future in store for templar??? grey warden recruiter to templar recruiter?? 

What about nature do they find calming? What about nature do they find disagreeable?

jabron is totally a nature loving buttnerd. he is def an outdoorsy type and to be away from civilization in the middle of the woods is ideal. thers probably nothing about nature he doesnt like. the best feeling in hte world is taking a crap in a hole in the ground and burying it like a cat.

Describe a way that will earn affection (whether platonic or romantic) from them.

hes not hard to please, any kind of positive flirting will go a long way with him. hes not one to bullshit and gets straight to the point. since hes obviously interested in khrenx hes gonna give him attention and do little favors. his whoel body language and his friendly pats are a strong indicator. he likes touching people and being friendly (if they are comfy about it) theres not much different he woudl do with platonic vs romantic. ull just have to gamble. hell comment on a friends ass, hell comment on a lovers ass. hes gonna compliment u no matter what

Describe a way to make them uneasy or apprehensive.

Describe a way to make them uneasy or apprehensive.

falco likes attention on him a lot and likes getting people pumped or just spark an interest. if the person is completely uninterested/overlooking him then he gets pissy.

this is why him and bernt are a good couple bc

bernt does exactly that

On a sleepless night, what would they be found doing?

the ability to cimb walls like spiderman

xray vision, usually to see whats clogging the toilet

superhuman strength, he can move furniture easily

super speed, faster to run up and down flights of stiars instead of using elevator

hes just a janitor. he doesnt hone his skill for super hero stuff unless he was asked.. i guess hes on reserve. he only applied to janitor bc he has no expierience but since hes got powers.. gonna put them to use. hes very easy going and digs seeing all the cool heroes around the building. his sexuality is a big "i dont care" HES SOOOOO CAREFREE about it. he hits on both women and men, others, OTHER SPECIES, it does not MATTER he will compliment and flirt with all. hes prob even HIT IT with some. smooth talk his way in a threesome with two alien chicks and one human dude. HES THE FUCKIN JANITOR gots the latest scoop on gossip and knows whats up.