Empress.

The winter soldier felt out of place at the Academy.  He tended to keep to himself for the most part.  Of course he could totally avoid people.  There were his students and his peers which were all hard to avoid.  He wanted a break from the fighting but being a teacher.  That was a title he never expected to have.

He was happy to have the day of lessons over with.  It had actually been over for a couple of hours now.  He had gone for a run and was now in the cafeteria to grab something to eat before he turned in.  There wasn’t a lot of choices this late at night but he wasn’t overly picky.  While he was deciding he looked around at the empty white tables.

Grabbing one of the roast beef sandwich plates before heading to the table that was furthest from the door.

@vivariumstarters​

Celestia hummed, looking at the ceiling and imagining the sky beyond it. If she closed her eyes, she could feel the magic coursing through the air, a smile gracing her face. However, for someone as clumsy as she was, it probably wasn’t the best idea to be walking around with her eyes closed. 

Which was how she ended up walking right into a nearly empty table, facing down one of the most intimidating people on staff. But then, they were all quite intimidating, weren’t they?

Bennett smiled, allowing Celestia to kiss him gently. There was nothing like the feeling of her lips against his. He could still remember the first time they kissed, hoping desperately that it wouldn’t be the only time it happened. “You’re always strong.” He murmured, his smile growing as she kissed him again. Reaching up to take her hand, her fingertips still lingering on his mouth, he kissed her palm. Every inch of her was perfection. The silence that fell between them was nice, a few minutes for them both to collect their thoughts and emotions, to regain control after such an exhausting conversation.

He needed it, and he could see in the way she grinned at him that she needed it too. The laughter that escaped her crashed over him like a wave. Everything was okay, everything was going to be okay. “I didn’t settle, Cel. Jeez…” He insisted, rolling his eyes as he always did during these arguments. “I’m just lucky you don’t know your worth.” It made him sad sometimes, that she wasn’t able to see herself the way he saw her. But he did sometimes worry that if she genuinely knew how beautiful she was, she might get bored of him rather quickly. It probably wasn’t the healthiest of concerns, but he couldn’t help thinking about it, usually when he was in bed. Unable to sleep, and missing her.

When she tilted her head to grant him better access to her neck, it was all he could do not to get carried away. They were quite literally in view of the entire school. That didn’t stop him from placing one more careful kiss somewhere he knew was incredibly sensitive though, his teeth pointedly grazing her skin. “Eighteen hours? Have you been counting?” He asked, pulling away to show her how incredibly funny he found that. “I guess that’s kind of disappointing by our standards, huh? I’ll make it up to you tonight.” He teased, unable to help himself. “I can’t have you forgetting how much I appreciate you.” 

Faltering at her sudden laughter, his mischievous smirk quickly faded to a glare of annoyance. He felt an all too familiar flare of anger and suppressed it to the best of his ability. He was determined to remain stoic, to tell her he wasn’t stupid, and that her joke was entirely tasteless. But he couldn’t, not when she was telling him it was him or nobody, not when she was telling him he was always going to be her only choice. “We’re already a family.” He said, his tone not entirely without an edge in spite of his efforts. “I mean- we’re already a family. But we’ll add to it in any way we can… in any way that feels right. When we’re ready.” 

Watching as she pushed herself back up, beginning to heal the grass around them, he was hit by the realisation that only Celestia would care about dead grass. Shaking his head, his anger fading back into the familiar rumble at the back of his mind, he smiled at her, opening his mouth to tell her she was beautiful, and finding himself cut off by her question on what he could see in the clouds. Used to her rather spontaneous queries, he looked up, humming quietly when she sensed what he was about to say and warned him against it. “I don’t know, uh… water vapor that has turned into water droplets small enough to cling to particles in the air?” What do you want me to say, Cel?” 

She couldn’t help but giggle again. It was a nice sound to hear after the fit she’d had. “Thomas Bennett,” she said, so he’d know she meant business. “I’m well aware of my worth, it’s you who’s blind to your own,” Celestia insisted. “I’d bring countries to their knees for you. Bend the ocean, change the path of fate. You’re worth everything, I just can’t believe the universe knew what they were doing when they put us together.” She was going on a bit of a tangent now, but she did that quite often. I mean think about it. We are in the middle of a collaboration of universes. A mush of  worlds that either of us could’ve been placed in, but the universe decided to put us together. In our world. In one where we found each other... and I think that’s magical.”

She leaned down and focused back on the task at hand repairing the grass. the damage she had caused. the damage that her grief had caused. The air was still a bit heavy with the tension of the conversation they’d shared. she didn’t want it to be, but the emotions were thick. she could feel them as if it was humidity. a sign of coming storm? No, she couldn’t think that way. doing so would lead them back to where they’d started. square one. and they had come so far. and they really had come so far. that is, from the time they met, to where they are now. she couldn’t have imagined this children knowing that they would save the world together.  Were they going to save the world together? she wanted there to be a world for the family they might have. 

“And by the way I already know you’re my family. I told you it’s always going to be you. I was just talking about if we were to ever grow, we’d still be the most beautiful family. but even if we never did, I’d be happier with you than I would be with anyone else. Forever.” She felt the way his anger had flared up. she didn’t mean for that to happen. sometimes she said the wrong thing, completely thinking that it had been the right thing. Was there any right way to feel? sometimes she asked herself this question.especially being surrounded by the emotions of others. Were they feeling the right things? Was she? anyway, she was back on another tangent. this time internally as she finished repairing the last blade of grass, reviving it to its green glory.  

At his answer to the question about the clouds, she couldn’t help but chuckle. it was after all exactly what she’d been expecting to hear. she’d only hoped he would play along. but then that wouldn’t be her Bennett, would it? “You’re supposed to say, beluga whale, or a penguin on the beach, or an alligator in a baseball cap! One day Bennett, one day I promise you, we’re going to get you an imagination,” she teased him. Falling down beside him, she pulled him in to one last kiss. It was time for them to go back. She was ready for that, although she could have spent the rest of her days hidden in the fields with Bennett. “Are you feeling ready to head back? I think that we had a wonderful conversation. And I think, that no matter what you do, you are going to do it with all of the strength, all of the brains, and all of the intelligence, of the man that I love. And I’m going to be beside you for whatever it is that you need. And whatever decision you make, you will make it with my full support. I love you. Now let’s get back yes?”

Bennett hummed, the situation feeling too serious for genuine laughter, despite his obvious amusement. He was a silly boy, after all. Where would he be without Celestia to remind him of that fact? “I know you are, Cel… if that means you catching me every time I fall out of bed, or trip over my own feet then I am totally, one hundred percent okay with it. I just… this might be something I need to do. You can protect me by helping me through it… that’s what I need from you.” He felt selfish for asking, for not acknowledging the impact doing so would have on her. He needed this from her, but what did she need from him? 

And then she felt what he was feeling, she heard what he was thinking, and assured him in the way she always did. “I am… always.” He said quietly, reaching up again to brush away the tear tracks on her cheeks. Hearing her tell him every choice had been worth it, every sacrifice she had been forced to make, every argument she had been forced to sit through, every time she had siphoned his anger in her desperation to keep him calm… it had been worth it for her. He was worth it. Resting his chin against her shoulder, he let out a sigh, relaxing into her embrace, only becoming aware of the tension in his body as it left him. He felt as though a thousand weights had finally been lifted. Weights he had been carrying for too long. He was glad they had made the effort to talk about this, to really honestly discuss it. At least now they both knew how the other felt. There were no more unspoken words or hesitant concerns. The air, still heavy with magic, was otherwise clear. 

“Of course we’ll always have each other. You’re way out of my league, Cel. I’m doomed if I ever let you go.” He teased, laughing at the sound of her laughter. Things were beginning to return to how they usually were. Grinning as he pulled away to look at her, he shook his head. “A temple I love to worship.” He placed a gentle kiss against her jaw, nipping softly at her neck before withdrawing again. He couldn’t stand not seeing her expression, he still needed to see her to know she was okay. “Wait-” He faltered, caught entirely off guard. “Oh my god, it’s Nikolai, isn’t it?” He demanded. “I mean, it makes sense, he’s half god, but come on. No way… I would never agree to it, Cel! Out of the question!” Leaning into her touch, abandoning his feigned outrage, he smiled again, his expression softening. “You’re the only future I’m ever going to want.” He said quietly. “I’m so lucky to have you…” 

Her jaw clenched involuntarily, fighting back the cough of emotion as she just smiled and nodded, running a thumb against his cheek. “Whatever you need from me, no matter what,” she promised, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips. “If it is... to be strong, and to help you through this, that is what I’ll be. If it’s to catch you while you’re falling down the stairs,” she tried to tease, running her thumb along his bottom lip before leaning in for another tiny peck. It gave her a huge sense of comfort, feeling his skin against hers. Reminding herself that he was real, and their love was real, too. It kept her there, in the moment, not fearing for a future they had yet to save. 

She stayed quiet for a moment or two, allowing herself to be there, to be with Bennett, and enjoy what they were. She knew tomorrow would be one day closer to the day that everything changed, but for now they were just... them. She giggled, looking up at him and brushing her nose against his shoulder with a smile and a shake of her head. “You? Out of my league? Bennett, please,” she insisted. “Must we argue again? Because as far as I’m concerned, I’m just a silly hippie who fell head over heels for a genius. I don’t know how you settled for me,” she teased him, wrapping an arm around his waist. When he pulled back, she giggled again, her cheeks burning as she tilted her head to the side so he might get better access to the sensitive skin. “Hmm,” she trailed off. “It’s been a whole eighteen hours since you’ve worshipped this temple,” teased Celestia, as she raised an eyebrow at him. “I was beginning to forget that I’m still your religion.” 

Then she couldn’t help but laugh so hard that she fell backwards into the dead grass. “Nikolai?!,” she said through her laughter. “Bennett Banner! I thought you were the smart one! Oh my Zeus you should’ve seen your face!,” she exclaimed. “No!! There was nobody I even had in mind, you weirdo! It’s you or it’s nobody, Bennett, for everything, not just this. We’re going to face tomorrow, and every day after that together. And whatever our family becomes is what’s meant to be!” She’d grown content enough that her magic was thriving, and she took the chance to push herself onto her knees, and lean down, red light flowing past her fingers and bringing life back into the grass that had died around them. “What do you see in the clouds?,” she asked Bennett, intently focusing on the task at hand. “And don’t say ‘an incoming chance of rain’,” she mocked him. “What do they look like?” 

Bennett watched Cel as she processed the information, pulling it apart in her mind until she understood every aspect, every element of how it could change their future together. He found himself wishing, not for the first time, that they were a regular couple. A couple who didn’t need to have conversations such as these ones. Her grief hit him with incredible force, crashing over him like a wave. It caught him off guard but he knew the moment he felt it that she knew. She was accepting the truth of their situation. It hurt, how much she was hurting, the emotion seeming to pulse with her heartbeat, almost a physical force trying to push him backwards. He wasn’t going anywhere, he belonged at her side. But he was so aware of the fact that he was the cause of this. 

Glancing down at the grass around them, it began to wilt, darkening in colour, becoming dry and dead. He reached down absentmindedly to press his fingers against it, the proof of her pain. It only served as a motivation, only furthered his need to comfort her, so when he held her face between his hands, when he saw her bottom lip tremble with emotion, nothing else seemed to matter. He just wanted her to be okay. “No, it does. Of course it does.” He murmured. “You’re allowed to be upset, don’t hide what you’re feeling for my sake, I could never ask you to do that. I’m here, okay? I’m here for you now, here for you always.” Nodding at her words, silently assuring her he believed them, when he pulled her against him it felt like a sigh of relief. 

The crashing waves faded to become a stillness in the air, thick and heavy with the weight of their struggle. Burying his face further into her neck, her hair tickled his cheeks but he refused to move. He wasn’t sure he was able to. “Of course we will… we have each other.” He said quietly, sniffling to compose himself before attempting a hesitant joke. “You know… if we borrow somebody’s sperm, I’m sure we can find somebody far better looking than I am. The fully functioning and- and entirely not defective genes will honestly just be a bonus.” 

Celestia’s eyes softened as they met Bennett’s. “Silly boy,” she whispered, still fighting the tears that were gathering with a fury on her lower lid. She blinked, and the tear that rolled down her cheek tickled before it fell off her jaw. It splashed into the grass below them, but unlike in the movies when one teardrop would suddenly revive an entire forest, the dead grass around them remained wilted. The small circle a semi-permanent physical manifestation of the loss she felt inside of her. But... was it loss, really? She hadn’t lost anything she had ever expected to have, and processing the feelings coursing through her, as well as those that she felt Bennett going through was overwhelming. “I’m always going to protect you. Even when I don’t mean to,” she admitted, swiping away another tear that escaped. 

“But I know that you’re here for me,” she promised, nodding as he spoke. “That’s... that makes everything, every choice that brought us here, worth it.” Which was true. She wouldn’t change a thing. If, tomorrow, Stephen Strange said that she could go to another timeline where she and Bennett were normal, she wouldn’t make the leap. Because they were, after all, perfectly themselves. She melted into his hug, their bodies melding perfectly as they sat there. “Each other,” she repeated, squeezing him impossibly tighter. “We’ll always have each other.” 

And there it was, that sentence he never failed to find to pull a laugh from her lips, no matter the context. No matter the situation. He could always make her laugh. “You ass,” she teased, the word coming out in a half-laugh, half-sob combination. “I could never allow a stranger’s sperm into this temple I call a body. Even it they were handpicked from some catalog. Although...,” she trailed off, pretending to think for. second. “No, no, he’d never agree to it,” Celestia teased, acting as though she had thought of anyone. There was no one. Nobody she’d ever find more beautiful than Bennett. She pulled away to cup Bennett’s neck in her hand, her thumb running along his jawline. “Hey, we’re going to be okay. This doesn’t change anything, despite my reaction. I’m not going anywhere. And wherever you are if the future I want. No matter what’s included in that. Okay?” 

Bennett sighed quietly, appreciating the fact that Celestia was also fighting to keep the conversation lighthearted. He wasn’t sure he would be able to get through it without her unwavering support. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Cel.” He murmured, his grip on her hand tightening almost imperceptibly. “Never… I would never.” Shaking his head, he allowed himself a smile when he noticed the colour in her cheeks. It made him want to kiss her but he knew doing so would be inappropriate. It was his turn to roll his eyes when she told him she loved his brain more than he loved her brain. They told each other their love wasn’t a competition so often that saying so now only seemed to confirm that it was one. “No, it’s not.” He replied, his eyes briefly shining with affection. 

He watched her, feeling the air grow thick around them, magic seeping from her pores in a way he knew it did when she was feeling something incredibly deep. He could only assume she was thinking back on their relationship, it made sense considering the context. He couldn’t actually remember falling in love with her, it was part of why he felt so sure he had always loved her. But he remembered the first time they had been intimate. An angry and spontaneous make out session very quickly escalating and becoming something so much more serious given the fact that they had never even kissed before that moment. He knew she regretted their first time being born of an argument, but he didn’t. They were passionate people, their relationship was passionate. The fight had only forced them closer together which made him confident they could make it through anything… make it through this. 

He was so distracted by his own thoughts, by the information he had just presented her with, that he missed her tears, only noticing them when she reached up to brush them away. “No….” He murmured, his voice cracking. “No, don’t apologise. Please don’t apologise…” He shifted to rest on his knees in front of her, begging her not to blame herself, begging her not to feel guilty for her reaction. “We don’t know anything for sure.” He said, abandoning any pretence of Ben and Elle. “We don’t, I might not be able to have children, Cel. But I might be able to. And my mutation, even triggered, might not effect that. We just don’t know.” There were ways of finding out, of course. But even if his parents did allow him to test on himself, or at the very least see a doctor, he wasn’t sure he was ready to know. Not yet. He would much rather find out afterwards in any case. At least then he wouldn’t need to worry about knowing he had been given a chance to start a family with Cel and actively ruined it. 

He reached out, cupping her face with a sad smile. “It doesn’t mean you can’t become pregnant, okay? If that’s what you want, there are doners who can help. Any child of yours is a child of mine, you know that. I support you… I’ll support you no matter what.” Pulling her into a hug, he held her close, burying his face in her shoulder, finally allowing his own tears to fall. “Our home will be so loving…” He agreed. “The most loving.” He tangled a hand in her hair, gently pressing a kiss against her neck, the easiest place for him to reach from his current position. “I love you too… so much. You’re the most incredible person I know.” 

Her mind was reeling so rapidly that she thought the world might be spinning around her. She could feel the wheels turning, desperate to catch up with her emotions before she could act on anything. She knew this would be their reality. She’d always known. Part of her wanted to be angry that he’d risk something so important to her, but then - was it really that important? Their love manifested itself in a million different ways. Why should a child that grew in her belly be any different than a child they sought out to love and raise and cherish? She couldn’t be angry, because she’d known this would be the case for so long that she knew any anger would be a misguided, desperate attempt to change his mind. 

She was done fighting what their new reality might become. Done fighting what it had become. She was trying, instead, to lean into what it was. The new things they’d learn about one another. The new limits they would be pushed to. But still, she couldn’t shake the tears that stung in her eyes. She felt an odd sensation, one that she’d only experienced secondhand through her mother on Pietro’s birthday. Grief. Grief for a dream, and a far-fetched one at that. Grieving the death of a life they could’ve had, had they been born differently. Born normal. Mourning the vision of surprising Bennett with a positive on a pregnancy test, the pictures she could too easily envision of her belly growing a life inside of it. One that she and Bennett had created together. It was as if she’d never wanted it as terribly as she did in the moment that she knew she couldn’t have it. 

The grief rolled off of her in waves, she noticed the grass around them wilting. Just barely, but still enough that she noticed. She reeled, trying to compose herself so that she couldn’t cause any further damage. When, suddenly, Bennett was holding her face. She didn’t want to meet his eyes, knew far too well that her face showed everything, gave her away too easily, and his words proved too much. Her bottom lip shook as she looked into his face. He knew exactly what to say far too well for her to resist allowing the emotions to crash over her. And so, there they sat in a semi-circle of dark, dry grass. Tears poured down her face as her lip shook, shaking her head as well. “It - It doesn’t matter,” she asserted. “That’s not a choice for right now. We will have a family. Together. One day. And we will all love each other deeply.” 

But the pain, the fear, the feelings - it was palpable. As if it was floating thickly in the air around her. “It will be filled with love,” she echoed. “But it already is. And that’s what matters. And I love you, too. More than anything. And that makes everything worth it. Everything.” She felt his kiss and it brought a smile to her teary face, as she nuzzled tighter into the hug. “We’re going to be okay,” she promised. Because she thought he might need to be reminded, but also because she meant it. “Today. Forever. We’ll be okay.” 

Bennett’s expression softened at Celestia’s reassurance. He reached out carefully to take her hand, pulling it into his lap so that he could absentmindedly trace the lines of her palm. It was a good way to feel close to her, and a good way to avoid making eye contact. “Maybe.” He admitted, seeing the sense in her predictions. “I don’t know… Ben isn’t thinking about the future right now. Not that far ahead, at least…” He chewed thoughtfully on his bottom lip, knowing he was going to leave a mark if he kept doing so. It was a habit, something he did when he was mulling over information. “So… she admits the logic is there?” He asked hesitantly, glancing back up at her with a tired smile. “Cel, I love your brain.” Despite her emotions making conversations like this more difficult, they also helped her to see beauty where he saw science. Just her very presence forced him to look at things in a different way, to take a step back from knowledge and appreciate what he so often didn’t notice. The sound of the birds outside of his bedroom window, the way the sun caused her hair to shine, the way the colour red reminded him of the magic she held within her, the power, and beauty, and skill. He loved her so much, and her creativity only allowed him to love her more, in new ways, ways that didn’t always come so naturally to him. 

He laughed again when she did, grateful that she was able to see the humour in what would otherwise be a very frustrating situation. “Elle doesn’t need to worry about that, Ben doesn’t want her there either.” He teased, trying not to think about the reality of the conversation. He trusted his dad more than anything, he really did feel as though he could go to him with any problem. That didn’t always mean he wanted to.There was nobody else in their world who would understand, who would have advice, so what choice did he have? “There is.” He agreed. “Elle and Ben loved each other before they even knew what sex was.” Grinning, he lifted her hand and kissed the back of it gently, lowering it to hold over his heart. It was a comfort to him, the contact, and there was something so intimate about the gesture. 

“The next thing Ben wants Elle to know is… more complicated.” He said, after a few minutes of silence had passed between them. His smile quickly faded, to be replaced by genuine concern. The sex might not be make or break, but what if this was? What if she thought him selfish for destroying any hope they had? What if he couldn’t give her what she wanted? “Even Ben doesn’t know whether- whether he can ever have children.” His voice was barely louder than a whisper now, as he waited with bated breath for a reaction. “His dad wasn’t supposed to be able to but there was science to help him, there might be science to help Ben. But… if Ben does this, it might mean something changes or something happens and he just… won’t be able to. His physiology is different from his dad’s, the mutation is slightly different due to it being inherited and not created. And if there’s even a chance that I- that Ben can have kids, it might- well, it might be taken away.” 

Celestia playfully rolled her eyes at Bennett, shaking her head as she did. “There’s always been logic there. With any of your choices. That’s exactly the problem,” she said, a smile playing on her face so that he knew she wasn’t being serious. “Elle admits that there is logic, and that se even saw that when they were arguing, which only made her even more upset,” Cel teased, trying to offer him a smile again. Her cheeks flushed a soft pink at Bennett’s compliment. He showered her with more praise than anyone, but it meant a bit more when it was about her brain. “Mm, I love yours more,” she said. “Sorry, I mean too. It’s not a competition,” she said, hiding a shy smile as she did. 

Then, an even bigger smile. A more genuine one. She beamed, looking at Bennett with stars in her eyes. He was right, of course. She’d loved him for her entire life. Since the day she met him, and he’d grabbed her glowing red hand even though she was afraid of it for a tiny, childhood handshake, he would forever be the sun she orbited around. And then again, when she was 8 and they spent a snow day together. She thought love was their laughter echoing through the snowflakes. And when they were thirteen, surrounded by older students who treated them like dirt on their shoe, she thought that love was the way they walked down the hallway together, never apart except for when he would have his science classes and she would have her art classes. And then there was love in its many shapes and forms, morphing over the years, but always always close by. With her hand resting over his heart, she smiled at him. “I love you,” she whispered. More a promise than a statement. She could feel the trouble inside of him, and fought to let him know that that wouldn’t change. If everything else did, that’s what would stay the same. 

And yet, the tough, earnest expression that she’d sculpted her face into faltered at his words. The statement felt like a gut punch more than it did a conversation over picnic, and she felt, suddenly, nauseous. But why? Why was it so much more real this time?, she thought to herself as tears stung her eyes. They’d talked about it before. She knew the deal when she’d fallen in love with him. Knew that it’d been a possibility. A likely one at that. So why did it feel like there was a fist that had rammed into her sternum. She was quiet for a long pause, staring at the grass before quickly swiping a tear away from her face, swallowing her pain as best as she could. Because, really, what use was the pain, when she’d known it was coming for so long. “Sorry, sorry,” she rushed out, clearing her face of tears once more. “Sorry. I don’t know why I did that. I always knew, kind of. I always knew that might happen it just... was never quite so real. But - But that... I think Elle would tell Ben that... that just because that meant she couldn’t become pregnant, that doesn’t mean there aren’t millions of children who deserve a home as loving as theirs,” she said, her voice still shaky. “It’s okay,” Celestia promised Bennett. “I love you.” Because still, that would never change. 

Bennett couldn’t help but smile despite their current situation. “They are.” He agreed. “Very lucky to have each other.” He waited patiently while Celestia ate, knowing she was only chewing on her food to delay the conversation. But he didn’t mind giving her time to think over what he was telling her, it wouldn’t be fair of him not to. When she finally did speak though, his expression darkened and he was forced to set his jaw to maintain his composure. If it’s going to make his life better… She knew it wouldn’t, she knew that wasn’t why he was considering anything. Was she honestly trying to manipulate him? Now? After everything they were doing to try and keep their emotions separate? “It’s not.” He said. “And you know it’s not.” He fought to reign in his anger, to keep his voice steady and calm. “And it isn’t necessarily what he wants, you know that too, but the logic makes a lot of sense, Elle has to understand the logic makes a lot of sense.” Letting out a huff of breath, he bit down on his bottom lip, already dreading his own answer, even though he knew it was the only reasonable course of action. “I don’t know- I mean, Ben doesn’t know.” He felt another smile tugging at his lips, some of his anger draining away as Cel mentioned ‘managing things’ in his absence. “He would- well, he would have to ask his dad, and I hope Elle is fully aware of just how awkward that conversation is going to be.” 

She felt his anger flare up, and frowned at herself for causing it. She didn’t mean it that way. It was just that she didn’t know what the right thing to say was in this situation, despite her best efforts. “I... I didn’t mean it like that,” she insisted in a gentle voice, not letting her anger flare up despite his defensiveness. She wouldn’t let this deteriorate as it had before. “I meant you - I mean Ben - are doing this for a reason. The logic states that you make decisions based upon their impact on your life. Obviously this choice that Ben is making is going to impact his life - and Elle’s, and maybe in the long run, their lives will be better because they will have faced a very scary thing and know once and for all what they’re dealing with. Don’t you think that means his life will be better?” He saw the logic, and he saw it beautifully, but she had always found coping in the silver lining. When she’d been drug off to private school, their time together meant more. When they came here, they came together. When they fought, they would always make up... It went on and on, the silver linings that she’d found. Carrying her through the hard things and back into the sunlight. “It sounds like Elle understands the logic, but that doesn’t make it any easier for her to swallow. Which Ben would understand if he saw things less logically, and it’s okay that he doesn’t, I’m sure Elle loves that he doesn’t, they just have two very different brains, is all.” 

She nodded as Bennett spoke, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth to concentrate (and maybe also hold back a laugh). “Sounds like a great conversation for Ben to have with his dad without Elle. So... godspeed on that journey to Ben! But, as far as Elle is concerned, I’m sure there’s far more to a relationship than just that, and that sex shouldn’t make or break this decision for Ben.

Bennett could still sense Celestia’s hesitation, but the nervousness accompanying it seemed to fade somewhat, which only make him more certain that discussing their issues in this way would be the healthiest thing for them to do. “She might be.” He admitted quietly. “But maybe Ben is right… we don’t know yet.” He reached out, unable to help himself, gently allowing his fingertips to graze her cheek. She was so beautiful, he wanted to comfort her despite being all too aware of the fact that he was also the source of her pain. “I’m just going to…” He murmured, a frown creasing his brow. “I mean- I’m just going to say it. If I don’t we might be here all night.” He caught her eye, silently asking her for permission to be blunt, honest even if the truth was difficult to hear. “The first thing- the most obvious probably, is that if Ben does choose to go through with it, he won’t be able to have sex with Elle… not for a while, not until he can figure that out. And- well, Ben and Elle have a lot of sex.” He half teased, offering a tired smile in return. It was hard to find humour in the situation, but he would try anything to make this conversation easier to have. “Have you- do you think Elle has maybe considered that?” 

In his eyes, she could feel the question. Pick up on him silently asking her whether or not she was prepared for whatever sentence he might say. And she nodded, silently giving him permission. Though she was sure that she was far from ready. When Bennett first started the sentence, Cel very nearly laughed, sure he was joking, before realizing no. He was being terribly serious. Oh. Oh. “Oh...,” she said, nodding as she forced her face to remain composed. “Well first of all, sounds like Elle and Ben are lucky lovers, to have that kinda chemistry,” she said - her attempt at making light of the terrible subject. She popped a blueberry in her mouth and chewed on it for far longer than she needed to, before swallowing. “Well, if this thing that Ben wants to do,” she spoke slowly - determined to continue playing along. “If it’s going to make his life better for the rest of his life, then I’m sure Elle can manage on her own if need be. She’s probably done just that in the past when they were apart, anyway,” she noted, shrugging her shoulders. “How long do you think they would have to... wait?” 

“Not having any luck finding ‘your place’ either?” She hummed, taking the attention of the cup sitting in front of her. She’d finish the drink, purely so she didn’t make it obvious that she didn’t like it - you never knew when that could upset someone. “Do you think anyone around can clone people? That way I could send clone me to open their own place and it’d my own version of perfect. And it’s been way too long since I spent an entire weekend baking.”

“Oh I’ve tried so terribly hard,” Celestia complained, a pout on her face. “But it’s fine, I suppose I’m very used to not fitting in. Everyone finds their place eventually, right? It just so happens that I haven’t found mine in... 18 years,” she said with a small giggle. “My boyfriend could probably come up with a robot that could do that - but morals and all. I promise I’ll keep an eye out for anyone who can. What place would you open?!” 

Dakota couldn’t help but feel the contagious happiness that this girl basically oozed. It wasn’t that she wasn’t a positive person, because she liked to think she was. But lately, with the way she was feeling as she’d settled into life living there, learning more about her abilities each day, but also feeling a little lonely had its effects on her. “Yin and yang, you’ve got it,” she says with a smile, watching as Celestia moved her hands over the plants manipulating them to stand upright, and if her eyes were correct, shine just a little bit brighter. “That’s really cool.” she says with a laugh, “I can’t imagine your mother’s reaction when she went looking for you. My history was when I well accidentally shapeshifted into another student when I was playing hide and seek with my Mom and Dad. I was 6.” she says with a shy smile. “That’s fitting, seeing as she’s the Scarlet Witch. I suppose that means we have blue thumbs then since that’s what my parents normally look like.” Just in that instance, she’d shared something about herself she hadn’t told anyone, about her skin tone, or her abilities, and it felt… good. 

“Yin and yang! Yes! See, I totally got it right!,” she beamed, proud of herself for remembering. It wasn’t her fault that she held emotional intelligence to a far higher standard than regular intelligence. Besides, she thought that had worked out quite well for her over the years. At the memory of her childhood mishap, she giggled, holding a hand over her lips as she did. “Oh my Gods - it was pandemonium! My Auntie Hekate had to go around and make the whole village forget. And it took them, like, hours to get me down!,” she said, still giggling. “We had to move to America after all of it!! But it worked out, because then I got Bennett!,” she cheered, listening to Dakota with a smile on her face. “Oh!,” she gasped. “You’re kidding! They’re blue? That’s - like - so amazing!!!,” Celestia gushed. “Oh, I can picture it in my head - it sounds so absolutely beautiful, Dakota! But do remind me to never play hide and seek with you! I suppose I’d never win that one!” 

“Yeah.” Joe couldn’t deny knowing who she was already or being mildly annoyed by her, but that wasn’t technically her fault. He was annoyed that half the time he couldn’t come back to his room, and even when they weren’t up to no good, it felt weird for him. Love was a touchy subject for Joe because of his dads and growling up in the late 40s and early 50s. Joe never quite knew how to react. “Joseph Rogers-Barnes,” he extended his own hand and shook hers gently before pushing up to his feet. “I’ve never seen a sock, but I do know you’re often around.” They hadn’t met before because his tendency was to leave when he knew she was in there. It was easier to avoid than sit awkwardly in the middle of it. “Uhm…I can’t read your mind, so I don’t know…I just figured you came here for Bennett and he isn’t here.” 

“Joseph Rogers-Barnes, it is a pleasure to meet you! Officially, officially, that is,” she said with a grin. “That last name - Steve and Bucky, no?,” Celestia chirped, tilting her head to the side curiously. She mused a small laugh, sliding her hair over her shoulder. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that... We lived, like, ten feet apart our whole lives. This was a big change. And all my usual tips and tricks don’t work with a roommate,” Cel giggled, thinking about the illusion she would show her mom or his parents. “If I’m ever a bother, I promise you can kick me right out! I won’t take it personally, honestly! It’s, like, not my room, and I totally respect that. Even if I don’t always act like it,” she insisted with a small smile. “Ha! Isn’t that funny, that you have to say that? Because there probably is someone who can read it! Oh, I feel quite sorry for them sometimes... But I’m getting off track! Of course I came for Bennett, but just because he isn’t here doesn’t mean we can’t get to know one another, no?” 

Bennett wasn’t sure what to say. Well, technically he knew what to say, he just didn’t know how to say it without causing another screaming match. Half an hour had passed now, and he was still sitting on the picnic blanket with Celestia, picking at his food. So far all they had managed to talk about was the weather and he knew she was as determined to avoid the subject as he was. They needed to talk about it, though, and if he didn’t steel his resolution, this might just end up being the most pointless and quiet lunch date of his life. “I have an idea.” He said finally, his voice gentle and resigned. He stared down at the bread roll in his hands, tearing off another small piece and chewing on it thoughtfully. “I know somebody… called Ben.” He started, talking slowly in the hope of Cel figuring out what he was trying to do. It was only going to work if she followed his lead. He had tried addressing the issue directly, and it hadn’t worked. She felt things far too deeply to ever be able to hold a rational conversation about something that was going to cause him to suffer. So now they weren’t going talk about his problem. They were going to talk about Ben’s problem, Ben’s problem which just so happened to be eerily similar to his own. “He has a girlfriend called… Elle?” He tried. It was close enough. “Ben is thinking about doing something that Elle really doesn’t want him to do and I think there are valid arguments on either side of the… decision. Should- should we talk about it?” @mxximxffs​

It wasn’t that Celestia wanted to be this stubborn about such a crucial topic. On the contrary, she thought she’d give anything to look at things the way Bennett did - even if only so they could work through this without her heart revolting against them. Because, she knew that it needed to be worked through. A resolution wouldn’t come from her staring into the sky discussing the constellations that were hidden from their eyes and picking nervously at her food. Eventually, Bennett took the lead in doing so, and her heart fluttered with nerves before crashing to the floor before finding its place in her chest once more. If only she could feel things less violently. However, she was grateful beyond words that he took that lead, knowing she wouldn’t have been able to. Grateful even more that he had removed the impact this... decision was going to have on their lives by discussing it through a third-party. She could witness the pain, and the fear that “Elle” had. She could see the drive that “Ben” had to do more. And for a while, it wouldn’t be their lives. She always had been better at fixing other people’s problems more than her own. So she cleared her throat and nodded. “Well, Elle already sounds right,” she teased, lifting a corner of her lips in a weary smile. “But let’s do it. I bet we can fix your friend’s problem together.”

“oh, i was around six?” cerise said in a hesitant tone, more of a question to herself than an answer, “maybe seven, i’m not sure — when i went to ’normal’ school. i think the whole experience was made worse by the fact that one, i had these gradually-growing-out-of-control powers and two, i was a transfer student from another country where mutants reigned. it was easy for them to pick on me” she admitted in a quieter tone, head dropping as she stared at the ground “throwed someone against a wall” she repeated dumbfounded, then, while blushing: “i once threw some rocks at a group of boys who were making fun of me”. unsurprisingly, those were memories the platinum-haired teenager really didn’t want to revisit; the difficult times of her childhood. cerise took a few seconds to recompose herself, still somewhat embarrassed for no aparent reason. “i can understand wantind to hide that — mine, uh, mine sometimes glow green… my mum’s did too” the mutant told celestia, hands going back into her jean’s pockets, “i don’t know if you’d recognize her name, lorna dane? she used to go by polaris, back when she was still an x-woman. growing up, i always wondered whether she missed it… i guess i feel closer to understanding her now that i’m in this position”.

“Ah, I was ten,” she answered, nodding her head. “Mama was dragging me out the door kicking and screaming. Seriously. I had to go from every single day just training and learning in my living room or Bennett’s living room - oh, Bennett’s my boyfriend, and best friend, we grew up as neighbors, but yeah, she tore me away kicking and screaming. They didn’t like me at that school one bit,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Just because I like flowers and had pretty hair and cried during math class over a dead bunny - like... who hasn’t done that, you know?” 

She huffed, shaking her head to rid herself of the frustrating memories. “Oh, green! Hey, we’re like... matching! But not super matching? Like opposites matching! Whatever that’s called!” For a moment she was quiet, looking thoughtful. The name did sound familiar, but she never had been all that great at remembering. However, the name Polaris sparked a bit of a memory. “I do know that name, yes! Yes, we were very sheltered, so I never met her, but I heard stories. Great ones,” she assured the girl. “It is an odd position to be in, is it not?,” she mused aloud, shaking her head. “How are you holding up, then? With everything?” 

“You don’t have to be happy, Cel, You don’t have to be any of those things. It’s okay to… not be okay. It really is.” Bennett rushed to assure her, almost getting whiplash from the sudden change of pace. This was always how things were, one minute they would be screaming at each other, the next minute they would be making out. But that was a little different to what was happening here. Angry sex usually ended in one of them leaving the room immediately after, and maybe a day or two before an apology and a genuine conversation. Apparently they had skipped a few landmarks, and he was glad. It was obvious Cel knew in the same way he did that they couldn’t afford to lose each other here. They needed to stay together, no matter what.

“You don’t need to believe anything yet.” He reminded her. “This isn’t set in stone, I haven’t chosen to do or not do anything. I just wanted to talk to you… there are so many things it would affect, things… involving you. I just want to talk…” He bit down on his bottom lip, feeling the very last of his frustration dissolve. Pulling her close again, he placed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “I won’t ruin anything. This won’t ruin anything… it won’t.”  He hummed quietly, accepting her apology without hesitation. If he was sorry, he knew she was. They were always in sync, even if they were sometimes coming from different perspectives. They ended up in the same place, they were a team. “It doesn’t make sense to me either.” He admitted, unable to hide his fear. He would be okay, he knew he would be, but so much of what would happen to him was uncharted territory. There would be no way to truly prepare for it. He laughed quietly, the sound thick as he fought off tears. “I don’t doubt it.” He agreed, withdrawing so that she could cup his face. He always felt safer when she was holding him.  The kiss caught him off guard, despite her slow movement, but he quickly deepened it, conveying his sincerity in a way that was far more successful than words alone. Watching as she kicked off her shoes, he waited to make sure she really was staying before joining her on the mattress. It felt ridiculous to return to their previous position after a screaming match, but he didn’t mind the sharp contrast. He wanted to sleep now, more than ever. “I was scared and mean too.” He murmured. “Of course I forgive you.” Rolling onto his side so that he could face her, a frown creased his brow. “Can we talk about this properly? Maybe tomorrow?” He asked. “No anger or fear or anything like that, just… facts. And then we can make a decision? A real one. Together.” 

Instead of pointing out that it was easy to say that when you weren’t known for bringing your smile everywhere, she nodded. Maybe one day she’d believe that, too. Everything else he’d said was always right. Why should this be any different, just because it didn’t fit her narrative of eternally needing to be alright for everyone else’s sake? “You mean one day if I go a whole 24 hours without smiling at you even once, you wouldn’t leave me forever?,” she asked, pouting slightly. She was being dramatic, yes. It wasn’t even a question she needed answered. But perhaps, in all of the whiplash inducing changes of pace in their argument, she just wanted one last pout. This was so much different than their other fights. So much more intensely real. So much more all-encompassing. As if, were she to actually leave, she may never see him again. At least that was the dread that filled her stomach when she so much as considered storming away in a place like this. 

Things... involving you, Bennett had said. Celestia’s stomach flipped again, her mind racing towards all of the terrible things he could be meaning, before she forced herself to visualize a stop sign and watched as all of those thoughts burst into little clouds of smoke as the raced into it. Those terrifying thoughts might cause her to lash out angrily again, so she swallowed them, nodding instead. “Of course,” she said, nodding along with his words. “Anything that impacts you impacts me,” she insisted. Maybe she could make herself believe that was the worst of it. So she offered him a half-hearted smile. “The only thing it ruined was our angry sex!,” she said, trying to make a joke despite it all. “What a literal mood killer!” An attempt at a playful huff, shaking her head in faux-dismay. “But that’s okay, too. If it doesn’t make sense to you, either. Just as long as we can make it make sense before anything happens, yeah?” This, a genuine question. One she did hope to get an answer for. 

Things felt better, significantly so, when he joined her in the bed. That meant that things were good. If not good then at least better. It meant she would fall asleep to the lullaby of his heartbeat and that helped her believe anything was possible. It meant that for tonight, they could just be Bennett and Celestia. Nothing else. If only for a few, restless hours. “We were both scared and mean,” she observed. “But usually we get to the whole tearing our clothes off bit before we arrive at the low blows,” mused Celestia, nuzzling her body closer than before into Bennett’s. Maybe that would keep them from facing the danger of tomorrow. “Yes. I’ll pack a picnic. Maybe we can go on a walk, again,” she suggested, holding his face in her hand once more as she spoke. “No fighting. Levelheadedness. We’ll talk it out. Like grown-ups do. Even if we aren’t ready, because our parents weren’t always, either,” she repeated, pulling his body closer to hers with a sigh. “Together.”

Joe was surprised that he was alone in his room, but at the same time, he wasn’t Bennett was often around considering their room seemed to help keep him calm, but he also wasn’t around sometimes, which made sense to Joe. He figured Bennett was with Celestia, since that was one of the only people he heard Bennett talk about or saw him around, but that was proven incorrect when she burst into his dorm room. “Uh,” he blinked a few times and waved a little awkwardly, “I don’t know where Bennett is.” Joe slowly closed his journal and set it down on the desk with the rest of them. It was a little too weird to continue writing with her standing there. “Yes, that’s me. I can…leave if you want to text him or something.”

Sliding her hair over her shoulder, Celestia smiled at the stranger. “Joe, yes, I’m so embarrassed that I haven’t properly introduced myself despite totally making myself at home in your poor little dorm,” she said with a giggle, holding her hand out for him to shake. “I’m Celestia Maximoff. Resident annoying girlfriend, totally the reason if you’ve ever seen a sock on the door,” she teased, plopping into Bennett’s bed with a smile. “Don’t be silly! I mean, you can if you want, but it’s totally your room, not mine. I’d be the one who should leave, Joe!,” she insisted. “And I can! If you wanted! I have a tendency of thinking everyone wants to be my friend. So... let me know if I’m doing that right now.”