Tell me what's been happening, what's been on your mind
Lately you've been searching for a darker place
To hide, that's alright
But if you carry on abusing, you'll be robbed from us
old ย instruments ย in ย the ย corner ย of ย the ย room, ย dust ย settled ย onto ย forgotten ย text ย books, ย prophecies ย that ย never ย panned ย out ย quite ย how ย they ย were ย meant ย to, ย a ย future ย that ย looked ย bright ย but ย suddenly ย went ย dark, ย self ย sabotage ย or ย self ย sacrifice,ย ย the ย search ย for ย meaning ย that ย always ย comes ย up ย empty, ย the ย bottom ย of ย the ย bottle, ย the ย end ย of ย a ย container ย of ย pills, ย always ย waiting ย for ย death ย to ย come ย knocking ย like ย an ย old ย friend.ย ย
FULL NAME : mitesh xeavi virani ( mx ) / PRONOUNS : he/they interchangeablyย / BIRTH DATE : april 17th, 1992 / AGE : 29 / ZODIAC : aries / SIBLING(S): pari virani (27) / ORIENTATION : unknown / RELATIONSHIP STATUS : single. / ย TRIGGER WARNINGS : addiction, suicidal ideation.
A WALK THROUGH HISTORY ;ย
the viraniโs had moved to red creek in the late 80s when they had decided to make a nice life for themselves. they were both medical professionals and mxโs father quickly opened his own practice with his mother working at the local hospital. they called it the good life and when they had their little son and daughter, they were ecstatic. there was nothing particularly abnormal about their lives in those early years raising their children. mx was particularly talented, he was fluent in six languages by twelve, played more instruments than you could count on two hands and wrote poetry that could reduce adults to tears. every year there was a new act from mx in the talent show but every month he changed his mind and started anew, flushing away his old identity. he drowned himself in anything and everything but nothing ever really hit the spot. by his teenage years he was restless, filled with an underlying sense of hopelessness that never really went away until he discovered drinking, drugs, partying. it was during this time in his young life that he began to be absorbed by conspiracy and investigation, a rabbit hole of what ifs.
PRESENT DAY ;ย
mx lives alone, isolated from his family and mainly his friends due to their own suspicious nature and also the depth of his addiction. there have been times when mx has considered getting clean but each of them failed miserably, an echo of loss through their life because they have a way of crossing those they are closest to - pessimism and self sabotage creating a barrier as great for themselves as those around them.
but... at least their eyes are wide open, right? they know whatโs going on around here... apparently... maybe... a little.
FUN FACTS ;ย
believes that aliens are behind 99% of things.
very anti-government, doesnโt even keep money in the bank because he thinks itโs a scam. a lot of his paranoia is rooted in his addiction know.
often says things just for the sake of it and not for any real reason or because he really believes it. thatโs just how he can be.
mx writes fanfiction online under an alias about popular tvs/comics/movies and finds this hilarious. itโs one of his hobbies and definitely fuelled by the weird things that pop into his head.
mx was originally a youtube moderator and was paid for this job as well as running a patreon where he helped people edit their youtube videos or websites for a small fee. heโs very good with technology although his talents were often wasted making spoof videos and other things that wasted time.ย
mx got a dui the year that he got his license driving his friends from one party to another even though he didnโt plan to attend.
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tw: alcohol, a lil dark humor 13 reasons why joke?
what was supposed to be a date night for her, rafaela had went through the theatrics of setting up something as romantic as she did in the middle of deer lake of all places. she had people help set up-- she had people basically do all the work as she directed them, a nice table setting in the middle of the woods with wine and food, the only thing missing was her date for tonight who had stood her up.
"just wonderful, and people call me unreliable?" rafaela scoffs before she swirls her wine and takes a sipe before placing it back down.
"and if i say no one deserves me ever, i'd be the too much one. what if this was my thirteenth reason?" she takes a bite from her mouth-watering plate.
as rafaela is about to continuing ranting to herself with her mouth full, "and i just--" the presence of someone makes her nearly choke on her food, she lets out a couple of rough coughs. "occupied," she responds with her mouth full as her hand is gracefully above her mouth.
she takes a sip of her wine once more, "actually lovebug, take a seat at this point. since apparently i'm not worthy enough to be sat across from."
"i did all this, you know that?" no she didn't, at least not physically.
there ย was ย no ย reason ย that ย mx ย was ย wandering ย around ย deer ย lake ย , ย the ย magnificence ย of ย the ย setting ย completely ย lost ย on ย them ย . ย they ย had ย seen ย beauty ย in ย all ย things ย big ย and ย small ย but ย also ย the ย opposite ย , ย beauty ย in ย the ย eye ย of ย the ย beholder ย but ย through ย his ย tinted ย glasses ย , ย everything ย was ย ran ย array ย with ย transcending ย gloom ย . ย it ย wouldn't ย have ย crossed ย his ย mind ย that ย somebody ย would ย go ย to ย so ย much ย effort ย for ย a ย date ย , ย the ย idea ย of ย romance ย in ย the ย modern ย age ย something ย that ย very ย rarely ย crossed ย his ย mind ย . ย dating ย would ย have ย been ย lost ย on ย mx ย , ย already ย in ย the ย mood ย for ย sabotage ย before ย the ย prospect ย of ย romantic ย company ย was ย on ย offer ย . ย relationships ย with ย them ย never ย went ย far ย .. ย for ย good ย reason ย . ย
only ย when ย being ย addressed ย , ย they ย lean ย backwards ย , ย tilt ย of ย the ย head ย , ย " ย impressive ย . ย good ย to ย know ย you ย take ย self ย care ย so ย seriously ย , ย " ย grin ย borders ย into ย wickedness ย while ย teasing ย , ย no ย substance ย induced ย haze ย following ย him ย around ย for ย that ย day ย at ย least ย . ย the ย simmering ย dread ย in ย his ย stomach ย drowned ย out ย with ย snacks ย and ย the ย delight ย of ย early ย evening ย , ย before ย his ย slump ย truly ย began ย ... ย " ย i ย guess ย you ย don't ย have ย room ย for ย one ย more ย , ย then ย ? ย "
ย mx ย was ย hardly ย an ย upstanding ย citizen ย , ย their ย rants ย and ย conspiracies ย making ย them ย less ย than ย a ย fan ย favourite ย with ย law ย enforcement ย . ย it ย was ย probably ย a ย mixture ย of ย things ย , ย his ย intelligence ย bordering ย on ย seeming ย madness ย when ย it ย came ย to ย it ย being ย wasted ย on ย things ย that ย most ย felt ย indifferent ย about ย . ย he ย would ย burn ย down ย anything ย that ย he ย created ย , ย their ย lust ย for ย self ย - ย sabotage ย only ย as ย strong ย as ย their ย love ย for ย anyone ย or ย anything ย else ย ever ย had ย been ย . ย dark ย eyes ย had ย observed ย the ย sight ย , ย no ย comments ย passed ย as ย they ย hold ย bag ย of ย hot ย cheetos ย under ย their ย arm ย โฆ ย a ย snack ย that ย was ย destined ย to ย sustain ย a ย long ย evening ย of ย unconnected ย thoughts ย and ย nightmares ย . ย " ย i ย was ย just ย admiring ย your ย tactic ย of ย using ย a ย backpack ย instead ย of ย a ย basket ย . ย time ย saving ย , ย honestly ย , ย " ย sarcasm ย , ย dry ย . ย they ย couldn't ย have ย cared ย less ย about ย what ย devon ย was ย doing ย , ย grabbing ย another ย bag ย of ย alien ย shaped ย puffy ย chips ย as ย they ย add ย , ย " ย what's ย the ย motivation ย , ย though ย ? ย is ย this ย a ย robin ย hood ย situation ย or ย just ย for ย your ย own ย needs ย and ย desires ย ? ย " ย asked ย in ย a ย seemingly ย amused ย tone ย as ย more ย chips ย are ย gathered ย in ย their ย arms ย . ย
FOR : OPEN!
LOCATION : redstone bar .
TIMESTAMP : 8:45pm .
" yeah, yeah ... i know not a good look for me to be here. " snorts over his drink. a singular beer bottle in their hand the first and only one. damon wasn't trying to have a repeat of the other week or make someone nervous around him. its been on his mind recently. 'great job, damon, not only are you a known face, but now you're known as the guy that started a fight on murder night!' whatever. it wasn't the headline of the register in the whodunit column, so at least they don't have to worry about that. fingers twirl the bottle into a little spin, liquid spinning in the bottle. " gotta save my face somehow, eh? promise i ain't any trouble ... here at least. "
ย mx ย could ย be ย found ย anywhere ย around ย town ย , ย an ย entrenched ย sense ย of ย mourning ย โฆ ย you ย never ย really ย know ย where ย or ย how ย you ย would ย find ย him ย . ย a ย year ย prior ย then ย he ย had ย been ย on ย the ย straight ย and ย narrow ย โฆ ย turning ย over ย a ย clean ย slate ย that ย soon ย became ย a ย dirty ย one ย . ย it ย seemed ย that ย what ย they ย were ย most ย successful ย at ย was ย being ย just ย on ย the ย cusp ย of ย greatness ย before ย falling ย right ย off ย . ย " ย i ย think ย it's ย all ย good ย , ย dude ย , ย " ย that ย night ย they ย had ย been ย halfway ย through ย their ย latest ย kermit ย the ย frog ย fanfiction ย turned ย erotic ย tragedy ย when ย the ย electric ย had ย began ย sparking ย out ย , ย a ย sign ย that ย they ย needed ย to ย make ย it ย out ย into ย red ย creek ย โฆ ย remind ย the ย world ย they ย were ย still ย unfortunately ย breathing ย . ย " ย i ย don't ย think ย there's ย anything ย to ย be ย said ย for ย saving ย face ย around ย here ย โฆ ย our ย souls ย are ย already ย long ย gone ย , ย " ย as ย they ย sip ย their ย beer ย with ย a ย grimace ย at ย the ย taste ย of ย it ย sliding ย bitterly ย down ย . ย not ย their ย favourite ย vice ย .
old ย instruments ย in ย the ย corner ย of ย the ย room, ย dust ย settled ย onto ย forgotten ย text ย books, ย prophecies ย that ย never ย panned ย out ย quite ย how ย they ย were ย meant ย to, ย a ย future ย that ย looked ย bright ย but ย suddenly ย went ย dark, ย self ย sabotage ย or ย self ย sacrifice,ย ย the ย search ย for ย meaning ย that ย always ย comes ย up ย empty, ย the ย bottom ย of ย the ย bottle, ย the ย end ย of ย a ย container ย of ย pills, ย always ย waiting ย for ย death ย to ย come ย knocking ย like ย an ย old ย friend.ย ย
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old instruments in the corner of the room, dust settled onto forgotten text books, prophecies that never panned out quite how they were meant to, a future that looked bright but suddenly went dark, self sabotage or self sacrifice, a deep sense of loss for a life never lived, the search for meaning that always comes up empty, the bottom of the bottle, the end of a container of pills, always waiting for death to come knocking like an old friend.ย
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Bruno says, "It looks like rain"
Why did he tell us?
In doing so, he floods my brain
Abuela, get the umbrellas
Married in a hurricane
What a joyous day... but anyway
We don't talk about Bruno, no, no, no!
We don't talk about Bruno!Hey! Grew to live in fear of Bruno stuttering or stumbling
I could always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling
I associate him with the sound of falling sand, ch-ch-ch
It's a heavy lift, with a gift so humbling
Always left Abuela and the family fumbling
Grappling with prophecies they couldn't understand
Do you understand?
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โI could not stop wasting time. It was crazy. I wanted to do something with my life, but instead I went to sleep, or sung in the shower, or sat and stared at the wall. I couldnโt even tell you about anything that I saw. I didnโt talk to anybody. The cicadas kept dying outside, and as I dreamed, my mouth grew thick and venomous with silence.โ
โ Yiwei Chai, The Jacaranda Years (via crowsummer)
