Tell me what's been happening, what's been on your mind
Lately you've been searching for a darker place
To hide, that's alright
But if you carry on abusing, you'll be robbed from us
old instruments in the corner of the room, dust settled onto forgotten text books, prophecies that never panned out quite how they were meant to, a future that looked bright but suddenly went dark, self sabotage or self sacrifice, the search for meaning that always comes up empty, the bottom of the bottle, the end of a container of pills, always waiting for death to come knocking like an old friend.
FULL NAME : mitesh xeavi virani ( mx ) / PRONOUNS : he/they interchangeably / BIRTH DATE : april 17th, 1992 / AGE : 29 / ZODIAC : aries / SIBLING(S): pari virani (27) / ORIENTATION : unknown / RELATIONSHIP STATUS : single. / TRIGGER WARNINGS : addiction, suicidal ideation.
A WALK THROUGH HISTORY ;
the virani’s had moved to red creek in the late 80s when they had decided to make a nice life for themselves. they were both medical professionals and mx’s father quickly opened his own practice with his mother working at the local hospital. they called it the good life and when they had their little son and daughter, they were ecstatic. there was nothing particularly abnormal about their lives in those early years raising their children. mx was particularly talented, he was fluent in six languages by twelve, played more instruments than you could count on two hands and wrote poetry that could reduce adults to tears. every year there was a new act from mx in the talent show but every month he changed his mind and started anew, flushing away his old identity. he drowned himself in anything and everything but nothing ever really hit the spot. by his teenage years he was restless, filled with an underlying sense of hopelessness that never really went away until he discovered drinking, drugs, partying. it was during this time in his young life that he began to be absorbed by conspiracy and investigation, a rabbit hole of what ifs.
PRESENT DAY ;
mx lives alone, isolated from his family and mainly his friends due to their own suspicious nature and also the depth of his addiction. there have been times when mx has considered getting clean but each of them failed miserably, an echo of loss through their life because they have a way of crossing those they are closest to - pessimism and self sabotage creating a barrier as great for themselves as those around them.
but... at least their eyes are wide open, right? they know what’s going on around here... apparently... maybe... a little.
FUN FACTS ;
believes that aliens are behind 99% of things.
very anti-government, doesn’t even keep money in the bank because he thinks it’s a scam. a lot of his paranoia is rooted in his addiction know.
often says things just for the sake of it and not for any real reason or because he really believes it. that’s just how he can be.
mx writes fanfiction online under an alias about popular tvs/comics/movies and finds this hilarious. it’s one of his hobbies and definitely fuelled by the weird things that pop into his head.
mx was originally a youtube moderator and was paid for this job as well as running a patreon where he helped people edit their youtube videos or websites for a small fee. he’s very good with technology although his talents were often wasted making spoof videos and other things that wasted time.
mx got a dui the year that he got his license driving his friends from one party to another even though he didn’t plan to attend.
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tw: alcohol, a lil dark humor 13 reasons why joke?
what was supposed to be a date night for her, rafaela had went through the theatrics of setting up something as romantic as she did in the middle of deer lake of all places. she had people help set up-- she had people basically do all the work as she directed them, a nice table setting in the middle of the woods with wine and food, the only thing missing was her date for tonight who had stood her up.
"just wonderful, and people call me unreliable?" rafaela scoffs before she swirls her wine and takes a sipe before placing it back down.
"and if i say no one deserves me ever, i'd be the too much one. what if this was my thirteenth reason?" she takes a bite from her mouth-watering plate.
as rafaela is about to continuing ranting to herself with her mouth full, "and i just--" the presence of someone makes her nearly choke on her food, she lets out a couple of rough coughs. "occupied," she responds with her mouth full as her hand is gracefully above her mouth.
she takes a sip of her wine once more, "actually lovebug, take a seat at this point. since apparently i'm not worthy enough to be sat across from."
"i did all this, you know that?" no she didn't, at least not physically.
there was no reason that mx was wandering around deer lake , the magnificence of the setting completely lost on them . they had seen beauty in all things big and small but also the opposite , beauty in the eye of the beholder but through his tinted glasses , everything was ran array with transcending gloom . it wouldn't have crossed his mind that somebody would go to so much effort for a date , the idea of romance in the modern age something that very rarely crossed his mind . dating would have been lost on mx , already in the mood for sabotage before the prospect of romantic company was on offer . relationships with them never went far .. for good reason .
only when being addressed , they lean backwards , tilt of the head , " impressive . good to know you take self care so seriously , " grin borders into wickedness while teasing , no substance induced haze following him around for that day at least . the simmering dread in his stomach drowned out with snacks and the delight of early evening , before his slump truly began ... " i guess you don't have room for one more , then ? "
" go, go ahead. " warmth saturates her tone as she looks over her sibling, gaze growing fond, tender while she watches her bound down the aisle of the corner store. it was like looking in a mirror, one that reflected a younger self in it's confines as eyes study tiny digits scavenging for nourishment —- sweets to ease the hunger pains. they can't keep going like this. she can't keep going like this. but that's why devon's here isn't it? nearly in the dead of night, when cashier is far too engrossed in their phone to provide customer service, when she can get away with something so brazen. eyes flutter around the shop before she does it, hand reaching for a loaf of bread and stuffing it through the open slit of her backpack, container of peanut butter and a package of ramen following. it’s sporadic, the things she grabs, not out of necessity but out of fear. this can’t be obvious. not when the heat on her is so close she can still feel it’s glow. eyes take another look around the shop, cutting from front to back and just when she thinks she’s gotten away with it she sees them, out of the corner of her eye. “ what the fuck are you looking at? ”
mx was hardly an upstanding citizen , their rants and conspiracies making them less than a fan favourite with law enforcement . it was probably a mixture of things , his intelligence bordering on seeming madness when it came to it being wasted on things that most felt indifferent about . he would burn down anything that he created , their lust for self - sabotage only as strong as their love for anyone or anything else ever had been . dark eyes had observed the sight , no comments passed as they hold bag of hot cheetos under their arm … a snack that was destined to sustain a long evening of unconnected thoughts and nightmares . " i was just admiring your tactic of using a backpack instead of a basket . time saving , honestly , " sarcasm , dry . they couldn't have cared less about what devon was doing , grabbing another bag of alien shaped puffy chips as they add , " what's the motivation , though ? is this a robin hood situation or just for your own needs and desires ? " asked in a seemingly amused tone as more chips are gathered in their arms .
FOR : OPEN!
LOCATION : redstone bar .
TIMESTAMP : 8:45pm .
" yeah, yeah ... i know not a good look for me to be here. " snorts over his drink. a singular beer bottle in their hand the first and only one. damon wasn't trying to have a repeat of the other week or make someone nervous around him. its been on his mind recently. 'great job, damon, not only are you a known face, but now you're known as the guy that started a fight on murder night!' whatever. it wasn't the headline of the register in the whodunit column, so at least they don't have to worry about that. fingers twirl the bottle into a little spin, liquid spinning in the bottle. " gotta save my face somehow, eh? promise i ain't any trouble ... here at least. "
mx could be found anywhere around town , an entrenched sense of mourning … you never really know where or how you would find him . a year prior then he had been on the straight and narrow … turning over a clean slate that soon became a dirty one . it seemed that what they were most successful at was being just on the cusp of greatness before falling right off . " i think it's all good , dude , " that night they had been halfway through their latest kermit the frog fanfiction turned erotic tragedy when the electric had began sparking out , a sign that they needed to make it out into red creek … remind the world they were still unfortunately breathing . " i don't think there's anything to be said for saving face around here … our souls are already long gone , " as they sip their beer with a grimace at the taste of it sliding bitterly down . not their favourite vice .
old instruments in the corner of the room, dust settled onto forgotten text books, prophecies that never panned out quite how they were meant to, a future that looked bright but suddenly went dark, self sabotage or self sacrifice, the search for meaning that always comes up empty, the bottom of the bottle, the end of a container of pills, always waiting for death to come knocking like an old friend.
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old instruments in the corner of the room, dust settled onto forgotten text books, prophecies that never panned out quite how they were meant to, a future that looked bright but suddenly went dark, self sabotage or self sacrifice, a deep sense of loss for a life never lived, the search for meaning that always comes up empty, the bottom of the bottle, the end of a container of pills, always waiting for death to come knocking like an old friend.
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Bruno says, "It looks like rain"
Why did he tell us?
In doing so, he floods my brain
Abuela, get the umbrellas
Married in a hurricane
What a joyous day... but anyway
We don't talk about Bruno, no, no, no!
We don't talk about Bruno!Hey! Grew to live in fear of Bruno stuttering or stumbling
I could always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling
I associate him with the sound of falling sand, ch-ch-ch
It's a heavy lift, with a gift so humbling
Always left Abuela and the family fumbling
Grappling with prophecies they couldn't understand
Do you understand?
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“I could not stop wasting time. It was crazy. I wanted to do something with my life, but instead I went to sleep, or sung in the shower, or sat and stared at the wall. I couldn’t even tell you about anything that I saw. I didn’t talk to anybody. The cicadas kept dying outside, and as I dreamed, my mouth grew thick and venomous with silence.”
— Yiwei Chai, The Jacaranda Years (via crowsummer)