Are there steps to being enough?

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@mutyasblog
Are there steps to being enough?

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i know i have everyone else but why do i feel so lonely..
Your absolute best wonāt be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, youāll still be worth it to the right person. Remember that.
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I do sometimes wish for you to see through my eyes, so that you could see how I see you.
Forget and leave the past behind, and strive for whatās there to achieve.

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āLetās not talk about grades, letās talk about the patients you will heal someday.ā
Ever since I was in grade 9, I was fascinated how our body functions, which made me want to become in the medical field. Now, Iām in a STEM strand not because I wanted to be in a medical field but because medicine was the only field I could see myself into. I continued to pursue it because maybe that burning desire will come back and awaken the doctor in me. I havenāt found that motivation until our instructor on 21st century literature said this quote,Ā āLetās not talk about grades, letās talk about the patients you will heal someday.ā When I heard this, chills scattered throughout my body and I immediately became emotional. It reminded me of my reason why I wanted to be a physician -- itās because I always had the heart to help. I wanted to give hope to those who are suffering. A new hope that would heal and cure the what we thought was impossible. I wanted to see people of all ages turn their frowns into smiles. I wanted to become a doctor because I am born to be a doctor.Ā
Some of you may have experienced the way I did -- the feeling of losing motivation -- but always remember that if itās meant for you, it will come back. And as for me, that motivation came back and Iāll feed myself more reasons so that Iāll not lose it again.
Iām really afraid of the future, but when I heard this from my prof, I really got excited. Clearly, words are powerful so use it to inspire.Ā
āThere is no such thing as bad people, weāre all just people who sometimes do bad things.ā
Every time I suddenly remind of my past, it makes me feel ill that I hurt a person or did things that I thought I could never do. And every time Iām happy, it makes me question myself if I really deserve it knowing that Iāve done something bad. When I remind of my past, I doubt myself. But this book that Iāve read told me that we are not bad people, we are just people who sometimes do bad things. The thing is, a person can never be exclusively good or bad, itās their decisions that we see that gives us an impression and allows us to label them as someone good or bad. Iām good to most people, but Iāve done bad things also. And now, after reading this line, it helped me stop blaming myself with the decision Iāve made in the past. It made me continue to move forward. People may say that I am kind, nice, or good, but I never was. Iām neither good nor bad. Iām just a human.
Loving someone doesnāt mean being with them.
I met this guy in 2019 and he became my friend because of many similarities. Same music taste, same perspective in life, not to mention that heās also mature and very intelligent which is what I like in a guy. Basically, everything he does, he knows how to do, and if he did not know how to do it, heāll find answers. There is a never ending cycle of education in him, yet he also knows how to have fun. He likes listening to music, playing video games, dancing, laughing, and so much more. That made me fall in love. Based from the title, you would think that I didnāt confessed right? But I did. We tried. Itās just that there are problems in life that we have to make a decision whether we stay in the relationship and hurt each other or just choose to let each other go. He tried, but I chose the latter. Not because I do not care for him. But eventually, I realized that I can love him alone without having to be with him. Right now, I only love him as a friend, and I think thatās the love that will never fade.Ā