A Braindump

hate when people say something along the lines of "we must get along so well because you are/i am [some astrological sign]" to me. what are you fucking talking about. we get along because im fucking nice. a decision which i regret when you say shit like that

this post is a good rent lowering gunshot. in case anyone needs one of those

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her

I love post like "you all are against rich people until they're a fictional character" because it's completely true. I am against rich people until it's a fictional character. I don't think liking Scrooge McDuck makes someone a class traitor

i wonder if any of sasha or malia obama's friends call them "obama" for a laugh

The thing I dislike about alt histories where real life monarchs have been made both gay and unproblematic is that it seems to imply that gay monarchs have not existed in history but if they did they would be cool. Which isn’t true. They have existed and they were just as bad as straight people. And I think it is disrespectful to real queer history to pretend that queer people have never been absolute bastards

see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell

if i was in a time loop i’d deadass lose count after like 4 days

🤔

absolutely not

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."

In every way this is set up to be a joke like any other short video, it even uses the trope of main character in a wig to represent their mom, but it isn't funny at all. It's just sweet and nice

Not all venom fans are monster fuckers 😞 some of us are just aroace disasters who like the idea of a platonic soulmate who likes to murder annoying people for you, is that so bad?

monsterqueerplatonic

Aces are welcomed and are valued members in the monsterfucker community.

This is asexual joy!