cloud musing

Feel free to change pronouns and/or wording as you wish.

You define flamboyance as being an item I can attach to a kilt?

It was a gift from me, so technically I own it.

You're a four horn surprise.

I'm gonna ask you a straight question here, mate.

I creamed myself.

You say that like it's standard practice.

And if Google had paid their taxes, I would have allowed you to win.

Yeah, I like women, I like men, it's all good.

Can we call rice a meal?

It's because of my past, it's not fair, but it's what's happening.

What price is glory?

Is everyone getting someone dressed up as their future self?

Did you make babies in a test tube?

Sometimes the word special can mean bad.

So difficult, not to be able to live in your own skin… or indeed to be fired into a different dimension.

I liked them all equally, which is why I am sat here.

It is harder when they do better, isn't it.

I feel like a bit of a donut up here.

You can tell anyone anything.

Feel free to change pronouns and/or wording as you wish.

I think you look a little bit like a pipe cleaner.

Forget memory lane, I travel down attitude avenue.

When I inevitably take over as king of this country, I'm going to ban football.

Real gangsters run red lights if you know what I'm saying.

I'm not gonna hoover it off the table like some egg hungry whore.

Peanut on a railroad track, heart all aflutter! Along comes a great big train, choo choo, peanut butter!

I love dinner and I hate boring people.

Built for pleasure not for speed.

I have got a boner for being a lord.

I should have disturbed the branches with my balls.

Conceal this pineapple on your person.

I just thought, the more places I put pineapple, the more places he'll think I've put pineapple.

But is there always a bulge in the crotch?

I thought absolutely nothing could go wrong. ...Then I moved.

I like the idea of, you know, somewhere safe to hide away.

You genuinely had to use gaffer tape and a bossy bitch.

This could be horseshit.

You don't know me, because I wear my disguise.

There's some sexual tension between you two.

It's not tension, I'm very happy.

I think I have no emotions.

You are my rock of administration.

Did you call me dude? No one has ever called me dude!

Sometimes you don't see bridges.

I always carry two sponges.

Oh man, that potato movement was crazy smooth.

This is really difficult if you're quite thick, which, with respect… I am.

There's strength in arches.

Feel free to change pronouns and/or wording as you wish.

Why? Because I can, I'm a powerful man, look at me.

He's wearing a suit, because he's both professional and from a different generation to the others.

You let a tramp pay for your lunch?

I'm going to need my reading googles.

What I was hoping for here, was for you to capture the essence of horse.

Just difficult to express myself artistically in these conditions.

I am also human. Which means, like all humans, I take pleasure in watching people struggle to do simple things.

All I need to do is just stand here and the 55 year olds will come rolling in!

It's a very pastry smell.

With this and the toothpaste… this is the worst night of my life.

I can't believe you enticed me to the dark side.

I'm one of the few people in the world who despises the pregnant community.

How, in the first instance where I'm actually winning, do I feel the saddest I've ever felt?

You look a little bit like a security man.

You can use your thigh as a buttoning table.

You have to hit them a bit harder as they bleed.

Are you allowed to write bacon?

It's like the color of a body you find in the woods.