lost in your light

“O-Oh..” She stammered out. With how the lighting had changed she had to have been crying for hours. To everyone else she probably looked as if she simply had her heart broken, not that she was almost assaulted by two strange men, not as if she had been so worn thin from what she just escaped from, not that she had failed as a mother at such a young age. No, to everyone else she looked as if she simply was crying her eyes out as if it was some trivial matter. Her grey eyes stared at where the bus was. How was she going to get to her grandparents now? They weren’t even expecting her, she didn’t have any sort of phone to call them. Even if she did she didn’t know their number, she only knew their last known address. Dez was hoping on a whim they even still lived in that small old house.  “I’m.. I’m sorry you sat here with me.. for who know how l-long.. You pro-probably had better things to do..” Self blame. She knew she was the queen of self blame and doom, but only because that was how she was raised. Being told every day that the venom spewed from other’s lips was her fault, or the fists slammed against her were done because of her, it took an absolute toll on her nonexistent self-esteem.  “I wonder.. I wonder when the next bus is supposed to come..” How long did she need to wait to get to her destination? Or hell, even have a nice shower and a change out of her bloody clothes.

      “Don’t apologize,” Beck said, arms loosening around her so that they both could get some of the evening breeze. He was sure that his mother had been worried sick about him judging by the fact that if things went on schedule, he would’ve been home at this point. But when he would explain it to his momma, he’s sure that she’d understand. 

“Whoa, when did you get this?”

“Who did this to you?”

“Hold still— I need to clean it.”

“I’m supposed to believe this was an accident?”

“Damn— I’d hate to see the other guy.”

“Does this hurt when I touch it?”

“What the hell, ___? Another fight?”

“What the hell happened to your face?”

“Why are you so calm about this? You’re really hurt.”

“I think your arm is broken. It’s not supposed to bend like that.”

“Here, let me help you with that.”

“You’re bleeding a lot. Too much. Apply more pressure. I’m calling an ambulance.”

“Did you think I was gonna leave you like this?”

“Instead of helping you, they ran off? What an asshole.”

“You need to be more careful. You keep getting hurt like this and you’ll put yourself out of commission.”

“Let me grab the first-aid kit. Don’t move.”

“So, do you wanna explain to me what the hell happened?”

“You look really pale. Sit down. I don’t need you fainting before I get this stitched-up.”

“I’m not blaming you, I’m just saying this looks awfully suspicious.”

“How many of them were there? This doesn’t look like one man’s doing.”

“Sit still. I need to clean this before it gets infected.”

“Wiggle your fingers. I need to make sure it’s not broken.”

“This is gonna hurt. A lot. But it’ll be quick. I need to pop it back into place.”

“I told you not to act recklessly like that. You might think you’re protecting me, but you’re gonna get yourself killed if you keep jumping in like that.”

Normally the feeling of being held would make her feel absolutely panicked, yet as he held her she just felt herself trembling against him. Perhaps it was because this was the first gentle touch she had in quite some time where nothing was expected of her, but she finally let the tears fall. A quiet cry as she wrapped her arms around his, clinging to him gently.  She was afraid to hold him too tightly, afraid that if she did it would turn out to be just a mere dream. She was afraid that she was back on that bus and she so desperately dreamt of kindness only her brain could will it upon her, and that her reality was still drenched in darkness. The teenager really didn’t want this to fade away. Hearing his words, how he wouldn’t hurt her, she wasn’t sure how much of it was true. Yet at least for this moment, whether it was a dream or reality, she had no reason to not believe him. Or, more as if she didn’t have the strength to defy anything beyond acceptance. She was exhausted, beaten, and broken. She just needed the comfort this stranger brought her in this moment.  Dez wasn’t sure how long the two of them sat there while she cried, but eventually she felt herself slowly calming down. “I..Th-th-thankyousomuch.” Her words were quick; rapid. Even though she was calmer than she was, Dez was an absolute anxious mess. There was dark question that soon appeared in her head: Did Thomas realize she was leaving? Did he send this man to track her down and bring her home?

     If he had to sit with her all night, he would. Beckett was an empathetic dog. He picked up feelings more so than others and never abandoned anyone in need. Even if that person in subject was just some random girl he’d seen getting messed with at the truck stop. 

     As he held this nameless girl in his arms, he thought about what would’ve happened if he hadn’t stopped those two guys. He thought about what would’ve happened if he’d never been picked up after being tossed away as an infant. He wondered what it would’ve felt like to be given up on. 

     The feeling made him sick to his stomach. He gently pulled her closer, listening to her cry until she seemed to finally run out of tears. For a long time he listened to her crying. When she was done, almost no one had been at the rest stop, and the only thing lighting up his face was the street lamp overhead. 

The violence before her made her even more anxious. Dez sincerely thought she would have a panic attack right then and there. Her vision started to blur and brighten as her chest began to tighten. The blows she was observing terrified her greatly as it hadn’t been an entire day since she was on the receiving end not that long ago. She was already on the ground from the tallest man, she could only watch the scene with intense eyes. Dez had become far too frightened to find the ability to flee by this point. She could only place her hands on the side of her face and tremble. Two police officers had managed to arrive and tear everyone away from each other. Dez wasn’t coherent enough to to have a proper conversation with the officer’s, and wasn’t even able to process how the tallest one managed to not be thrown into the back of the cop cars like the older men, but eventually it was just her and the man who rescued her.  “Th-Thank you!” She choked out, but she was still an absolute mess. She was trying to keep her intense anxiety under control. She needed to not cry, things always got worse when she cried. Dez was absolutely positive he would hit her too. It happened every time tears fell from her eyes. “Pl-Please don’t hi-hit me too. I’m tr-trying to calm do-down!” She was so riled up she wasn’t sure if she could calm down.

     Beckett was about to tackle the other man into the ground when he felt a pair of hands snatch him away from the scene. He continued trying to grab at the two, but was inevitably separated by two men in police uniforms. Giving up, he let out a sigh and let the officers get him back on his feet. After a moment, he remembered the girl-- and looked at her, seeing her crying on the dirt. As long as no one touched her, she was okay, and that was a relief to him. 

     Once things died down and Beckett talked to the officers, he somehow managed to break away without getting cuffed and sent to the slammer for the night-- something his mother would not be very happy about. He searched for the girl he’d been protecting, somewhat panicking that she had fled or had been taken by someone else. 

     When he saw her near where she once was, she was a crying mess. He looked at her, lips parting, unsure of what to say. She was such a vulnerable thing, no younger than 14, dirty, bloody. He noticed things about her that no one else did. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have let her get away this far. 

The frail teenager had absolutely accepted her fate when she felt a hand grab onto her thin arm. She was then shoved away from the two older men and her terrified grey eyes looked about widely as she tried to understand what was going on.  The man that pushed her away was younger than the men who were harassing her, but he was absolutely intimidating with his size. Her grey eyes simply stared at the back of him for a moment before she peered around him to look at the adult men. She could see the irritated expressions on their face, the two of them obviously debating how much this entire situation was worth it. The first gentleman, clean cut brown hair looked at a gentleman with bleach blond shaggy hair. The brown haired man let out a ‘tsk’ before looking at Dez’s rescuer. His voice was gruffer than the blond’s, and certainly made her body tremble. “Why don’t you mind your business boy? The adults are playing right now!”  The other, blond, gentleman grinned as he saw Dez in a way that made her skin crawl. Why did these adult men feel the need to smile at her in that way? She felt her aching stomach twist in knots before she hid back behind the taller boy. If they couldn’t see her then they could smile at her. Her heart was hammering away as she heard the blond’s next words. “Unless you’d like to join us? She seems cute and easy, doesn’t she? She certainly doesn’t seem like she’d put up much of a fight. Look how weak she looks.” Dez took a few steps back out of instinct. If she heard him agree she might have a few seconds to run, no matter how exhausted she felt. Maybe she would have a shot. Maybe.

     “I ain’t interested. And if she ain’t interested, y’all have to be man enough to accept that and walk away,” Beck said, still keeping his composure despite the men’s hostile temperaments. As much as he liked to stand up for people, he didn’t wanna go pick up fights where there weren’t any. 

     “Unless you ain’t goddamn man enough.” 

     Ah, never mind. There was no use getting to this boy. He wore a smug grin as he challenged the older men, ready and able to fight. He was agile enough to dodge any punches thrown and swift enough to throw his own. Even if they were older than him, he was a tough dog-- he didn’t give a shit. 

     Beckett Abel Boyer, your mother would be very disappointed. 

     “That’s it, you little shit!” the brown-haired man growled, swinging a large fist towards Beck. Immediately, Beck pushed the girl behind him down onto the ground, protecting her from getting hit as he dodged the punch and moved to the right.