Why be you, when you could be a n00b

the thing about top gun (1986) is that val kilmer played a closeted gay man on purpose but tom cruise is just like that

YES IT’S ON MY DASH AGAIN

OH MY GOD IT’S BACK

Do you love the color of dis bear?

@counterwiddershins

I really needed the last one

I love talking about the biggest or best thing “this side of the Mississippi” because like hey buddy I can make the best peach cobbler in this half of the continent but god only knows what peach secrets they have over on the other coast. I’m not messing with that.

vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off

She Would Say That. She would DO that.

touch water (touch grass for people who like swimming)

salmon so tasty it make me eat hasty / when salmon is finished the joy is diminished

she was at the club. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that she was at the club.

Agent Clark was a whimp, my girl Nancy Danderhoof would've caught on to the Hilda Hilda/Wanda Childa scheme in an afternoon but wouldn't have published it because fig would tell her so much dirt about everyone else