Mum who has it all

So you’re expecting your first baby, congratulations, how flippin exciting! Once you’ve passed the 12week mark and you settle into pregnancy and start to finally enjoy yourself and your body changing and adapting to house your little miracle, you can start to think about getting your baby’s outside world ready for him!

This can be overwhelming, but you actually don’t need too much. I mean its just like everything in life, you can get by with not much but it’s ok to live luxuriously and splurge a little here and there too!

Baby needs somewhere to sleep- bassinets, these are optional. We had one given to us so that was easy for us, you only need it for 3~4months so it’s definitely not something to splurge on, unless it has another purpose after its use- like the stokke that turns into a desk! Some would rather cosleep first couple of months, for this I’d suggest the bed cosleeper which would keep things nice and safe. Some would just put bubs straight into the cot, this is fine too. I’d move the cot to the master bedroom so bubs is nice and close especially for those night feeds. We bought a high quality cot, one that transforms to a toddler bed then eventually a sofa. It’s a Boori and personally I think they’re the best in value for money, service and sturdiness. Because we could, we forked out for a dresser and bookshelf that matched our cot perfectly but these aren’t necessities. Could of easily have bought them from Kmart or ikea, but with the first child, we were thinking about longevity and quality for our next bubbas to enjoy too.

Sleeping swaddles and sleep bags.. Basically bubs didn't want to be swaddled for very long, but there are bubs that need to be swaddled til they learn to roll- unsafe for swaddling. So for this reason I don't think you need an actual swaddle system but if you find bubs is a seaddler then it'll be worth getting a proper good quality swaddle system after. Sleep bags are used all the time, we rotate through 3x 2.5tog ones and a handful of thicker ones for those extra chilly nights.

Somewhere to bathe him- I always suggest investing in a waist height bath. We used ours for about 7months and boy did it save our backs! Well worth the $$! You will most likely be bombarded with toiletries at your baby shower, I recommend anything that’s soap, alcohol and fragrance free, preferably organic and natural. Anything else is just too drying and harsh for bubs delicate skin. Hooded towels, we had about 10, was the perfect amount for us!

Something to push bubs around in- prams and strollers are insanely overwhelming. My advice here is take it seriously, choosing a pram that suits your family is like choosing a car! Gotta think about the features that are important to you- toddler seat, forward facing, 3 or 4 wheeler, wheel shock absorbency, 1 hand steering, storage space, baby position and comfort, colour, look, foldability, weight, does it fit in the car, can you see over the canopy, canopy coverage.. List goes on! We bought the baby jogger city elite and I love it for its maneuverability, it’s ease of folding and unfolding and it’s look. There’s going to be faults for every pram cause nothing’s ever perfect. But our faults are bubs is quite close to the ground, the stokke is high up and better for our backs. And theres no forward facing ability, which sux during the separation anxiety stage. We considered selling ours and buying the Stokke Xplory for these reasons but we do so much walking outside and the sportiness, sturdiness and shock absorbency of the baby jogger was so much better than the Stokke!

Feeding bubs- breast feeding saves so much $$ and time! No need to buy formula and fiddle around with sterilizing bottles. Some are not fortunate enough to be able to breast feed full time or need to return to work so need to invest in pumping equipment. I did a mixture of pumped express milk and breast feeding, mainly because I wanted flexibility and it made sure that bubs would take the bottle. An electronic breast pump of good quality is worth the investment. I bought an electronic sterilizer which did the job but wasn’t the easiest to clean. I also bought an electronic bottle warmer which I liked and thought was worth the money but its definitely not necessary.

So of course there’s also car seats and capsule/ travel systems which are easy- go for one that’s safe and looks good in your car!

Health essentials- often forgotten about! An ear thermometer is so handy, not a necessity however. Baby paracetamol, baby ibuprofen and syringes to administer are essentials for the medicine cabinet. A nasal aspirator is great to have but not when bubs is afraid of it and won't let it anywhere near him! Saline spray and a humidifier is a must to help clear the snots. Bonjela for teething, and great teething toys like sofie the giraffe. <\p>

Baby bouncers- so handy for those early months for somewhere to put bubs in! A baby carrier- I think it's only a choice from a bjorn or ergobaby. A baby jumper was great for us when I needed to put bubs down for a few minutes to relieve my arms, max 20mins a day to avoid over working calves. An organized, easy to carry, easy to look at nappy bag. A baby monitor, ours has a video with night light mode and apnea sensors which is really handy. A toy box with a variety of toys. Feeding equipment including sippy cups, baby spoons, bowls, traveling containers, plastic bibs and what I used almost everyday was a handheld stick blender to puree

Sleep training… It is probably the most spoken about topic when it comes to parenting. I can tell you, i have had the best sleep in my adult life since having a baby- I’m not working nightshifts and doing shiftwork! Bubs is a wonderful sleep through the night happy restful bubs, here’s how we do it.

First of all, bubs who sleep through the night, don’t actually sleep right through. They still have relatively short sleep cycles, so they wake up at certain intervals overnight. The key to sleeping through is self settling. Teaching bubs how to self settle is what sleep training is all about.

Once bubs turns 6 months, he realizes that when you leave the room, you don’t actually disappear. This is when it’s ok to start sleep training.

First of all, move bubs into his own room. This was the best thing we did to aid his self settling. When we tried to let him self settle in our room he’d look up, see that we were a meter away and couldn’t figure out why we weren’t picking him up. Once we moved him to his own room, we’d close the door and he knew there was no point in crying out, once the door was closed it was time to sleep. The way to make this work- don’t come back!

Now there are a few steps to get you there, afterall you want a reassured happy restful bubs, not a stressed out one, so a bedtime routine is crucial.

Babies learn the association thing quite early. If we’re bathing, then massaging, then reading to him at the same spot and time every night, he will know what comes next and start to prepare himself from there. They’re clever little things!

You’ll have to make sure nappies nice and dry ready for the night. And bubs has to be comfy in his pjs and sleep bag associated with room temp. Also prepare spare dummies in his cot that he can reach out for if bubs is a dummy user. His blankey, favorite toy or lovey attachment item is essential too- if bubs has one of these, make sure you buy spares of them.

To get bubs drowsy, you can sit together in a semi dark room and have quiet time. If you prefer, you can read or sing to him. Singing a particular lullaby every night is a great time to sleep signal- ours is 'Everybody Clap' by the Wiggles. It is often practiced that bubs is danced to sleep, which is fine until he’s 10kg and you feel like you’re doing a gym workout before bed, for bubs that are used to this I’d suggest sitting on a rocking chair.

When bubs is drowsy but not asleep just yet, give him lots of kisses a tight hug and put him to bed. If over 6 months no need to tuck him in, he’ll eventually need to learn how to roll himself around to get himself comfy for sleep- just like what we do now with the tossing and turning. Switch the monitor on, switch the musical mobile on, flick the light off and gently close the door.

Cry it out. First few times you will experience the cry. And this could go on for a couple of months to be honest. The main rule here is do not go back in unless its a distress cry or if its been over 1hr. Yup, 1 whole hr! Gotta get yourself busy doing something quiet in the house- iron, fold the clothes, anything! After you’ve given bubs that hr you can pick him up, re settle and put him down while he’s drowsy but not quite asleep yet, and do it all over again.

This is the only way I find it works for us and others that I’ve suggested it to. There are numerous other methods- the patting technique, staying in the rm whilst crying, list goes on. Honestly, I feel that this confuses bubs and the message gets a little lost.

To establish the self settling, you gotta teach bubs to recognize when bedtime is approaching with a good solid bedtime routine. Let him cry it out for 1hr and be persistent and strict with this unless it is a distressed cry. Same thing goes for when bubs wakes overnight, allow him 1hr to self settle unless distressed.

Teething is tough, let me just start with that! Bubs showed signs of teething months before his first tooth even erupted! The drool, the red flushed cheeks, the runny yellow poo, the pain- oh the pain!

The signs can start around 4 months- which is exactly when they appeared for us! The tooth didn’t come til about 6 months! We went from sleeping through the night to waking up with pain, sometimes hourly! Poor thing had it tough!

Baby Panadol was great, but didn’t quite take us through the night. Our trick was to give baby Nurofen and bonjela post dream feed and sleeping through the night made its lovely welcomed return! Yippee!

So many people are against the medications intervention, I was a little hesitant at first but these medications don’t stick around, they’re metabolised then dispensed by the body, nothing’s left behind but the effects.

There are natural options, teething ambers, ice packs- look the list goes on. All are try worthy, but we like to cut to the chase. Bubs is in pain, he can’t sleep, let’s help him!

So with weeks of signs, one day you’ll smell a weird almost off smell in bubs breath- blood. We actually had blood smeared over bubs hand, arm, playmat and toys! I freaked as any mother would and realised it was from his mouth from a tooth finally erupting! Weird point that many texts don’t mention so don’t be surprised when you see it, but it’s also easy to miss because bubs can just swallow the blood or not have any blood at all!

And a little mention of the runny yellow poos. They’re usually explosive and you’ll find every motion causes leakage no matter what you do which brand nappies you use and how tight you put it on!

I often get asked whether my bubs is in a routine.. He kinda is I guess but I never really intended for it. I couldn't stand to be one of those mums that had to be home at certain times because of routine. Or even worst miss out on social events and catch ups, life still goes on, I say!

I’m a firm believer in the on demand feeding schedule, especially when 100% breastfeeding. So many growth spurts within the first few weeks that you just have to respond to them with boob, there’s no such thing as overfeeding when on boob!

From the beginning it’s important to start introducing sequences: eat, play, then sleep.. And a bedtime sequence: bath, massage, eat, play, lullaby, then sleep..

Between 4-6 months when bubs is on 6-8 feeds you could sequence the rotation every 2hrs- baby wakes, eats, plays, lullaby, then sleeps 2hrs post waking. Since bubs nap times may vary this sequence worked well for us and kept things flexible when out and about.

After 6 months when bubs is on 5 feeds, you can follow the 5, 9, 1, 5, 10 schedule- boob, solids, play, quiet time, then nap. At this age you can start training bubs to sleep through the night so doesn’t need their overnight feeds- this is a whole new topic to be covered later!

Then at 8 months when you're down to 4 feeds that aren't associated with meals, you can follow the 7, 11, 4, 9 routine. Once you've got that down pat, start dropping the last feed.

Big factors to include in your scheduling are play times- tummy times, baby alone times to explore their world, and lots of mummy daddy laughs!

Overall the important things about scheduling bubs is making sure you don’t allow bubs to associate boob with sleep, that’s where you fall into all sorts of trouble with self settling. And if you are aiming for a strict routine, keep in mind that life still goes on, unless you’re at home all day everyday and don’t plan on returning to work, the strict routine may limit you. Afterall mat leave is about catch ups with the girlfriends and other mums, long days at the shops and long walks with the dog. Don’t restrict yourself too much, allow a bit of flexibility and your bubs will be happier for it.

You hear all these horror stories about mothers groups when you’re pregnant- that its like being back in high school with the judging and bitchiness, that sharing germs with other bubs in their homes causes constant bugs being passed to your bubs..

Well I went to my first mothers group get together with an opened mind. That was a tough one to get through! Vomit, poo, high pitch cries, unsettledness, everything! And feeling like I was watched the whole time!

Now that we’re months from that day, we look back and laugh- we all went through those same emotions that day! And nup, didn’t watch each other at all, we were all caught up in our own business!

We still see each other every week, plus more, some have gone back to work but we still make the effort to open up our homes and have a relaxing cuppa whilst the bubs roll around and yea- share each others bugs since they can’t play just yet! (Isnt a bad thing to help build up their immune systems!) We walk our dogs and babies together, we go to the shops together, we chat on the phone and attend baby courses together (gymbaroo, hey dee ho)

These woman have become great friends, we have a Facebook group page where we ask each other questions, advise, share ideas, brag.. Helps us keep in touch and support one another round the clock! It’s the best thing for a first time mum, all topics are covered, none are off limits and best of all it’s answered by somebody who’s going through exactly the same things at the same time!

Blocked milk ducts, why, how the hell did this happen? Not like I was sleeping in a weird position and I didn’t skip a feed (or did I?)…

I’ve had a couple of these unfortunate experiences and if unblocked early enough, you can avoid the dreaded mastitis and dragging your butt to the gp to get a script for antis…

So in the meantime it’s freakin hard painful annoying persistence and work!

As soon as you feel a lump in your boob, do everything you can to massage it out.. Press hard til it hurts and massage towards the nipple.. If there’s no pain there’s no gain

Observe your nipple, is there a white dot? This is your blockage.. Wash your hands well and scrub under your fingernails and pick it off- yup, pick scratch bite whatever you have to do to pierce it!

Heat- hot showers and heat packs, soften up that lump so it’s easier to massage/push out

Constant feeding/expressing.. Gosh this is tiring eh? If you can have bubs chin point towards the blockage- some fancy yoga moves on the bed may help with this one! When bubs is done feeding keep him/her on the boob, or if he/she has fed from the other boob (don’t forget about this one!) finish the feed on the blocked boob..

So after all those measures and many painful stressful hours… The moment you’re about to give up and are completely exhausted.. It will become unblocked.. It will!!

Once it becomes unblocked continue to overfeed from the boob to keep up milk supply.. Before you know it it will be a distant memory and you’ll be back to happy boob land!

Eczema is manageable, it’s a huge pain and wish it never existed but its controllable. Here’s how we do it: - Steroid ointments (not creams): At the first sign of a flare up it is important to get it under control straight away with steroid ointment- and lots of it! The packet says use sparingly- ignore this! Lather it on and do this 3 times a day initially. - Moisturise moisturise moisturise: Ointments don’t work great on their own, you must use a moisturiser also at every application. I recommend something simple and plain for babies- dermeze or cetaphil works great. Once the flare up is under control, wean the amount of applications to twice daily, then once daily, then post bath to eventually no steroid ointment use at all. Whenever you see bubs scratch or flakey dry patches appear, reapply moisturiser immediately, carry a handy pack in your nappy bag for when out and about. If going outdoors, apply moisturiser beforehand to protect skin from the wind or sun drying it out - Avoid overheating: heat makes eczema worst.. When going out, dress for the car ride not the destination- who doesn’t put the heater on in the car these days? So leave the beanie and puffy jacket and blanket off til you reach your destination. When bathing, don’t overheat water. And limit baths to 2nd daily to avoid over drying. When sleeping, don’t over dress or use too many blanket layers. You’ll be surprised at how much your bubs can handle the cold. You see, eczema makes skin hot, so bubs skin is actually hotter than yours, so keep this in mind when dressing bubs. - Choose clothing materially wisely: no loose seams or rough surfaces, no wool or anything that will cause irritation. We put singlets on inside out and only use cotton clothing. - Diet: plays a big role too.. Breastfeeding for as long as possible will help bubs immune system control eczema. I found that certain foods I was eating was making bubs eczema flare like dairy and chicken. You need to be exposed to an allergen x amount of times before it doesn’t cause any ill effects- therefore, you identify an allergen, go hard at it to wriggle the effects of it out of your bubs system. Via breast milk was a great way to do this and now he’s on solids bubs is consuming these with no ill effects! -Cutting nails- everyday during his 11am nap, yup everyday! Can’t glove them forever they learn so much from their hands! The above has worked for us, can thankfully say we’ve kicked eczemas butt- it’s still hanging around and fingers crossed we’ll be part of the percentile that outgrows it by toddler age but for now at least it’s managed and controlled!