welcome to whatever this is

I used to set this one for second year undergraduate creative writing seminars on writing science fiction on a double bill with Octavia E. Butler's "Bloodchild" and no-one here gets out alive.

I paused the robot vacuum so I could listen to this 1950’s story predicting the robot vacuum.

my friend keeps sending the groupchat voice notes of her eating bussy and calling it "asmr"..... bro go study for your physics exam 😭

kitten if you don't get daddy his 3D printed sensory slug in the next five seconds you can kiss your grandma's drywall goodbye

This was supposed to be unrebloggable, but I was flying into a gamer rage at the antique store because someone was wearing too much Victoria's Secret Love Spell body spray and it gave me a migraine.

my cursed sword doesn't even tell me to kill people anymore it keeps begging me to put on a skirt and tights

i eould do anything for my cursed swowrd in a second

hai do,nt be mad but i invited every bunnies evr to yuor house for luncg. and yesd. itold thwm uou had lettucw anf stawberies. so basicaly don,t even be scared a little ok?

I'm imagining a fortune teller who's also a child so her idea of what a good fate is vs a terrible one isn't really in line with her clients at all

Imagine u go to visit the oraclet (oracling?) and she tells u there's untold riches in your future and later it becomes very apparent that what she was predicting was you winning $20 from a lottery ticket

She dismisses every wedding she predicts as a Terrible Fate because she thinks the kissing is cringe

It's the most Jerma-like movements possible

i'm sorry i never did your tag game. i love you

Everclear is what we have instead of universal healthcare.