Muddling along

This movie was 4 hours long and absolutely nothing happened. Luckily this cocktail takes a little bit of time, so you can take a break. It's pretty much a margarita with extra fiery steps, and emulates the drink they serve at Avatarland in Orlando.

1.75 oz tequila

1 oz blue Curaçao

1 oz lime juice

.5 oz jalapeño simple syrup

Rim a rocks glass with smoked paprika and salt. Shake cocktail ingredients and pour over ice. Smoke with hickory for 30 seconds.

I tried it with pecan smoke but it all landed on the glass. Hickory lends it an ashier taste.

Petrova Line

In your rocks glass, mix 1/8 tsp of red colored sugar with 2 dashes of angostora bitters. Add ice.

Stir in a mixing glass with ice

* 2 oz Bourbon (or rye)

* .5 oz Cointreau

* .5 oz Mr. Black coffee liqueur

Strain into prepared rocks glass.

Garnish with a lemon twist and rock candy stick.

When you're told to select a movie by making a themed cocktail this nonsense is what happens.

Stir together in a mixing glass, 1 oz each

Campari

Gin

Sweet Vermouth

Smoke with hickory for as long as it takes to mop up the campari that you spilled (1 minute?)

Find the half Roma tomato from the Pico de Gallo you made earlier. Use it to rim your rocks glass with a mix of salt, smoked paprika, dried oregano, and dried basil.

Shake the negroni with ice, 1 tbsp freshly squeezed Roma tomato juice, and .25 oz jalapeño simple syrup if you want it spicy.

Serve in the iced, rimmed rocks glass.

The movie? Pizza Movie, a zoomer teen comedy with no budget, now available on Hulu for some reason. It was late. I wanted to watch something low stakes with no requirement for an attention span.

The Boys season 5 came out. What if I took a Superman and made it unsettling?

For context, my Superman cocktail is:

2 oz gin

.25 oz blue Curaçao

.25 oz lemon juice

.5 oz cherry brandy

Dash orange bitters

Shake, pour over a maraschino cherry.

Looking at my liquor cabinet, I find I am out of gin. This isn't too big a problem, except for color... Tequila should work, adds a bit of insult to Homelander's racist injury.

This cocktail is honestly just accessible enough to be survivable. Which is how I would describe The Boys property, to be honest. It's a rough watch. I would not drink two of these Homelanders.

.25 oz jalapeño simple syrup

.25 oz coffee liqueur, Mr. Black ideally, not Kahlua or anything too sweet.

.5 oz blue Curacao

.25 oz cherry heering

.5 oz lemon juice

2 oz tequila

The Class Divide (a riff on the Billionaire cocktail)

2 oz rail whiskey

1 oz lemon juice

1/2 oz grenadine

1/2 oz simple syrup

1/4 oz absinthe Shake over ice. Top with champagne. Garnish with a lemon wheel.

Minority Report

2 oz rye

1 oz sweet vermouth

3/4 oz campari Smoke with hickory for 50 seconds. Shake over ice with:

3/4 oz lemon juice

1/4 oz grenadine Float on top

1/4 oz Cognac