seasons change

[ ✉︎ → sexy seeker 🥴 ] damn bro….that’s sucks…. [ ✉︎ → sexy seeker 🥴 ] nice sharing the field with u while it lasted! [ ✉︎ → sexy seeker 🥴 ] dw tho bro i’ll score enough points to make up for ur absence !!!

[ ✉︎ → sexy seeker 🥴 ] 👁👄👁 [ ✉︎ → sexy seeker 🥴 ] ANYWAY BRO when u caught the snitch in that last match— HELLA SICK BRO!!!

[...]

soohwa is such a quick learner that it’s really taken him no time to learn what makes hyunki squirm under his touch. 

[ ✉︎ → sexy seeker 🥴 ] considering how long it took u to notice it was even up i’m gonna say yeah lmao [ ✉︎ → sexy seeker 🥴 ] but what i cant believe is u NOT calling it sexy time [ ✉︎ → sexy seeker 🥴 ] bro????

[...]

talking about which— “i heard it first from friday.” soohwa actually grimaces when he remembers her messages, her awful code for sex. “actually technically jamie, another ta for dada, i don’t know if you know her, texted me first, but she kept beating around the bush. another couple of friends also texted me.” he scrunches his nose when he also remembers that— “alec also texted me surprisingly. said i had a cute ass. i still don’t know how to feel about that as a matter of fact.”  

“friday?” he frowns. that means she’s seen-- “god. of course it had to be her.” not only did he spill intimate details about him and soohwa to her pre halloween, but now she had the actual evidence to back up his word-- which was a lot more damning than he was comfortable with. there was a different between telling someone what you did in the bedroom and them actually watching it. 

he shakes his head though at the mention of the other people because, “i can’t say i know her well.” mostly of her, but nothing more. 

but hyunki is scoffing because, “alec texted me too.” which, to be fair, he was texting alec last night, recounting some details, but again, it was much different. “cal told me. and... kevin, which is weird because i didn’t even now he had my number.” still, each person that mentioned it to him, buzzed about it, well, that meant that they had seen him, seen them intimate like that. 

“there were a few... buzzard’s too. but i won’t recount those to  you.” he didn’t want to make his worse... 

[...]

he frowns when hyunki starts crying again, wants to reach out to brush his tears away but again soohwa stays puts right where he is. instead, he clears his throat again, tries to wipe off the frown of his face because hyunki just understood that he isn’t mat at him and soohwa doesn’t want to give away wrong signals. “it was an accident, i know you didn’t mean to do it and you deleted the video as soon as you saw what happened. you did everything you could in the situation.” then soohwa just shrugs. “there’s no reason to be mad at you. as you said before, i also consented to the sex, not only consented to the video but i was the one who suggested it. so… if you’re not mad at me even if i feel like you should be, then i have even less reasons to be mad at you.” 

“you’re so stupid.” he whimpers, tears slipping down his cheeks, but he finally moves. it’s slowly, but it’s surely. hyunki crawls up the bed, into soohwa’s lap, arms wrapping around the other’s shoulders. now that he’s sure that the other isn’t mad at him. 

isn’t going to retaliate against him, isn’t going to do anything to take his anger out in hyunki’s direction, so he feels it’s okay to touch, okay to let himself get a bit closer and not risk himself. 

even if he knows, again, he knows soohwa would never be the type. 

but he isn’t and hyunki slowly lets himself melt into the other’s arms, shoulders shaking with sobs again, but nearly as hard as before. now he just buries his nose into soohwa’s bare shoulder and mumbles, “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” because he still was. 

no matter who’s fault it was, it was him that posted it and him who should have to deal with the main consequences. 

it takes him a minute to get over himself, to cry himself out again, but eventually he does, subsiding to small sniffles as he just sits there for a second, not really wanting to move. soohwa is much more comforting than people of his past, he doesn’t feel like he’s about to get reprimanded for his tears, won’t be told to shut up, to stop crying. it was something and if he didn’t feel so absolutely horrible for what he did, he would say it was something important. 

[...]

any other time he would say that soohwa is doing too much, he’s being too much, but whatever it was, be it the camera catching their every move, or just how much more intense and charged this feels than usual, hyunki feeds on his words. 

they make him feel good, wanted-- not that he ever doesn’t with the other. 

[...]

“and then said head student will be even more preoccupied making sure to find fun ways to punish them for it and maybe not so officially also punish them for watching the video.” and soohwa hopes that this casual enough to lift the mood a little, to stop hyunki from crying again.

the tears don’t fall. he’s a little confused at the other’s words, mostly because they aren’t scathing and aren’t accusing him of deserving this. no, they’re self deprecating and he’s not sure what to do with that. 

“so you’re really not mad?” and it’s something that hyunki just can’t seem to wrap his head around. “soohwa, i posted a video of us having sex. like... full on... fucking.” the idea that he wasn’t in the wrong here was just so outlandish he couldn’t believe it. 

“they saw me cum. they saw you-- dick out and--” it just didn’t make sense. the other had every right to be mad at him and he was laughing. he was laughing because he didn’t think it was hyunki’s fault. 

or, he was being baited. led to believe that the other wasn’t mad until soohwa could properly lash out at him, really do damage. but... looking at him, really looking at his face, listening to the words he’s saying and it’s a slow conclusion that hits him, but when hyunki gets it it has him murmuring in a quiet voice, leaning forward a little, “you really aren’t mad...” 

[...]

“you’re off the main team, then, effective immediately. we’ll bring in the reserve seeker the rest of the semester. i’ll trust you’ll be willing to work with him to prepare him for the matches.” nate wants to leave it at that, but despite how much he might dislike hyunki, there’s always gonna be a bigger part of him that values kindness above all else, and so he has to ask… “you doing okay, though? with… everything that happened?”

it’s beyond embarrassing to be standing here. he can tell that the team has dissolved into whispers, some being not to subtle in their looks his way. he hates the way people look at him now, like they know (which, makes sense because most of them do know. they know more about him than they’d like for him to know.) 

and he takes a cautious glance at nate just to check and-- yep. that’s the exact look. 

he know what the letter said, he had to sit through the excruciating meeting where his consequences were spelled out, each and every one feeling like a nail in not only his social coffin, but his academic one as well. 

but even if he knows what’s coming, knows how he’s taken off the team for the last two matches of the semester, the most important ones, well, it stings. it stings because they had done so well that last match, the snitch having ended up securely in hyunki’s grip. and now, well, he just ruined that for himself, didn’t he? 

“yeah, i’ll help... it’s the least i can do.” if he can’t play he can make sure that the reserve seeker puts up a fair fight in his place. he clears his throat, rubbing his neck and seemingly trying to avoid an answer. 

[...]

the head student fidgets with his own hands, his turn to not be able to look at hyunki in the eyes. “actually, i—” he bites his bottom lip a little too harshly, nervous and anxious, almost chews on it. “i’m the one who should be apologizing, i’m sorry. i acted like a child again, then i suggested the video without thinking about how this could happen and now because of it, we did the— video and we’re stuck in this situation now. once again i wasn’t able to control my emotions. i was selfish, greedy and immature. that’s why i’m sorry. i’m really really sorry.” soohwa can feel his breath getting uneaven again, quickening while waiting for hyunki throw a pillow at him, to yell and announce that he doesn’t want anything to do with hyunki anymore, to end things and blame soohwa for it as much as soohwa blames himself.

the attention of the little crup is nice, reassuring and not so overwhelming that is sends him any further into tears. in fact, it makes him move, scoot back on the bed a little so cookie can climb in his lap, shower attention on him and wag that silly little tail of his. 

and it help’s that soohwa is so quiet, is to attentive and not overbearing, not pushing him this way or that. he lets him process this at his own pace and it’s sweet, so, so considerate and exactly what hyunki needs. 

exactly what he wants. 

still, as the tension leaks out of his shoulders he can’t help the guilty pit that settles into his stomach. he can’t look at the other still, instead watching his toes curl into the carpet. soohwa doesn’t sound mad. he sounds the farthest from mad he could ever be and it still confused him a little. 

though, it’s mostly because he expects a reaction when he should know better by now. soohwa isn’t him and he doesn’t know how many times that the other is going to have to say it to him or he’s going to have to say it to himself. 

except, of all reactions, taking the blame is not something hyunki expected to come. that has him looking up, eyes still red from tears and brows furrowed in confusion. “what?” no, that wasn’t right. 

it was soohwa who started the argument in the first place, but it was hyunki that put the camera on, it was hyunki that wasn’t more careful and posted the video for so many-- so many people to see. “no. soohwa, no. it’s not... that’s not your fault. how could--” he turns a little, not quite getting closer to the other, but turning more to face him now, voice still a little wobbly. “soohwa, how in the world could we have seen this happening?” it’s just not something that happens. it’s not, but it did. to them of all people. 

[ ✉ to hot guy shit ] 

[ message to hyuncuteki ]

✉ : we’re both kinda dumb tbh ✉ : guess that’s why we make such good friends ✉ : the 2 people who really matter paid attention so i’m still gonna avoid them all week ✉ : tho everyone else… has forgotten in favour of the video (sorry dude) ✉ : im glad that you guys are okay though ✉ : i would offer to bring you food or something but i think you and him need some time alone lol

[✉ to astrid darling]

[ message to hyuncuteki ]

✉ : fuck okay look i was a bit hasty when i messaged all that ✉ : i didn’t know if it was an accident or not but i see you deleted it so i’m guessing it was ✉ : i’m just having a really fucking bad week and i took it out on you im sorry ✉ : i mean i DO look like a fool now but its my own fault ✉ : i know its no consolation but you guys are both hot as shit so [ deleted ] ✉ : did you get in trouble for the video? are things okay with soohwa?

[✉ to astrid darling]

[...]

he loves getting his way, loves when soohwa gives him what he wants. 

[...]

“you’re a mess, darling,” and soohwa does mean it in the nicest way that he can, even if he still internally winces at his choice of the words but it isn’t like the head student feels like he can be too picky about it, not when hyunki is so ready to bolt out. “just stay at least until you’ve calmed down?” he offers, holds onto the same covers that hyunki is but doesn’t reach out for him, eyes as pleading and worried as he sounds. “i’m worried about you going out like this, please, i will do anything, i’ll leave myself if you want to be alone. calm down first and then we’ll do whatever you want, i give you my word.” and indeed, soohwa would go grab the sun if that was what hyunki asked of him to make him stay, soohwa would take his own heart out with his own hands if that was what it took to make the other to stop crying. “just don’t go, please.” 

he’s only half listening to soohwa. his words don’t sound mean, he doesn’t sound mad and there’s no harsh edge to his tone. it’s different. hyunki knows he’s different, but it’s just something he can’t shake, can’t get rid of so easily. 

and so he’s almost out of bed, feet on the floor when he realizes that, really, soohwa is right. 

if the following buzzards after his were anything to go by, it would just do more damage if he was out in the halls, out on campus with teary eyes and a breaking voice. it wouldn’t help, another thing he knows. but the urge to run is still there, the urge to separate himself, put distance between them. 

he needs there to be space. 

so at the end of the bed he stays, fingers curled into the covers as he tries to work down his sobs, to get over himself. and it should be a little ridiculous, this whole thing. soohwa begging him to stay and trying to comfort him when he’s the one who should be the most upset, and hyunki, shying away from the other boy, crying his eyes out in his underwear. 

it should be funny, but there’s not a single thing he can find to laugh about. 

in reality, he doesn’t know how long he’s sitting there, wiping at his eyes every so often, but the other stays true to his word. soohwa doesn’t move toward him and he doesn’t try to touch him. 

the little things, hyunki supposes. 

it isn’t until cookie is popping his head over hyunki’s knee that he can finally calm himself enough to speak clearly, can’t quite get rid of the shakes or look the other in the eye, but it’s a start. 

it was fair. he didn’t like it, dreaded it and was ashamed by it, but it was fair. hyunki was the one who slipped up, who wasn’t more careful in his postings and in return, screwed up not only his own reputation, but soohwa’s as well-- and with the helpful reminder, the schools too. 

so the consequences, they made sense. they were something he couldn't’ argue. 

no, he’s had the fight effectively beat out of him for the time. and it couldn’t be more evident in how he trudged down to the practice fields, tail between his legs and head down. there was a letter from the school administration clutched in his hand, paper slightly wrinkled from how hard he was holding onto it. 

nate was going to hate him, he was going to kill him, effectively rip him apart. but hyunki deserved it. he felt he deserved it. 

“hey-- uh.” the field was busy, players setting up for practice and getting their brooms ready, talking among themselves and he spots the captain, off to the side. “i got... um, i have a letter from the school. you need to read it...”