âyouâre a mess, darling,â and soohwa does mean it in the nicest way that he can, even if he still internally winces at his choice of the words but it isnât like the head student feels like he can be too picky about it, not when hyunki is so ready to bolt out. âjust stay at least until youâve calmed down?â he offers, holds onto the same covers that hyunki is but doesnât reach out for him, eyes as pleading and worried as he sounds. âiâm worried about you going out like this, please, i will do anything, iâll leave myself if you want to be alone. calm down first and then weâll do whatever you want, i give you my word.â and indeed, soohwa would go grab the sun if that was what hyunki asked of him to make him stay, soohwa would take his own heart out with his own hands if that was what it took to make the other to stop crying. âjust donât go, please.âÂ
heâs only half listening to soohwa. his words donât sound mean, he doesnât sound mad and thereâs no harsh edge to his tone. itâs different. hyunki knows heâs different, but itâs just something he canât shake, canât get rid of so easily.Â
and so heâs almost out of bed, feet on the floor when he realizes that, really, soohwa is right.Â
if the following buzzards after his were anything to go by, it would just do more damage if he was out in the halls, out on campus with teary eyes and a breaking voice. it wouldnât help, another thing he knows. but the urge to run is still there, the urge to separate himself, put distance between them.Â
he needs there to be space.Â
so at the end of the bed he stays, fingers curled into the covers as he tries to work down his sobs, to get over himself. and it should be a little ridiculous, this whole thing. soohwa begging him to stay and trying to comfort him when heâs the one who should be the most upset, and hyunki, shying away from the other boy, crying his eyes out in his underwear.Â
it should be funny, but thereâs not a single thing he can find to laugh about.Â
in reality, he doesnât know how long heâs sitting there, wiping at his eyes every so often, but the other stays true to his word. soohwa doesnât move toward him and he doesnât try to touch him.Â
the little things, hyunki supposes.Â
it isnât until cookie is popping his head over hyunkiâs knee that he can finally calm himself enough to speak clearly, canât quite get rid of the shakes or look the other in the eye, but itâs a start.Â
âum...â and his voice is rough, hoarse and it makes him wince. âi...â but he also doesnât know what to say. âi deleted it.... i deleted it as soon as i realized...â which was much too late. âiâm-- soohwa, iâm so sorry...âÂ