lover boy.

msunoah​:

( ... ) 

He pinched the bridge of his nose with a thumb and forefinger, looking down at Milo once he felt a tug on his sleeve. He was hearing the words that flowed from his mouth, but was he actually listening to them? Noah couldn’t really bring himself to listen to the confusion, the hurt in the other’s voice and now he felt more of an ass for bringing this up rather suddenly. Milo didn’t deserve this treatment, this constant up and down of if, when, and what.

“Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing here, man. Especially after saying no to you so many fucking times,” Noah began, rolling his head in defeat. “I don’t know why I’m wearing this costume, I don’t know why I’m talking to you and I sure as hell don’t know why I’m feeling so… confused. I’m not even sure if that’s the right word to use.” He habitually scratched his head, messing up his slicked hairstyle until strands cascaded over his eyes, down the sides of his face.

Noah stared at Milo longer than he probably should have as if he was waiting for something, anything. He looked at the ground. “If you want to be a couple again so badly, then why don’t you say something instead of sleeping around?” He questioned. “Are you waiting for me to get on one knee? I’m really not the person you should be waiting on.”

He leaned against one of the mirrors again and now there is sadness in his own eyes. “You want to know why I don’t want to hook up anymore? Our sex means more to me than just a casual fling or something to do to pass the time. I love… If this is…” He trails off, exhaling deeply. “If this is love that I’m feeling, then I don’t even want to think about it because I’m scared of disappointing you more than I already have.”

Noah shakes his head and corrects himself. “No, I know I love you. I know that’s what I feel, but I love you too much to hurt you again. Can’t you see that I’m trying to save you from that? Yet, we keep coming together, like this, and I’m just tired of it.”

( ... )

noah’s own confusion makes milo frown. he didn’t understand why he had originally refused to dress up with him for halloween (though it should’ve been obvious — they weren’t technically a couple), and he didn’t understand why he had changed his mind last minute. or why he was changing his mind again. if it didn’t make sense to noah, it certainly didn’t make any sense to milo. he was still happy to see him, that much had been clear... he just didn’t understand why he was acting like this now.  

“well, i want you to talk to me and i wanted you to wear this stupid costume,” milo grumbles, huffing shakily and reluctantly letting go of the elder’s sleeve. “we look fucking amazing, by the way. not that you would care.”

he turns on his heels and rolls his eyes as he begins walking in the direction he came, knowing noah would be right behind him eventually. that’s why he had called him over in the first place, right? to help him get out of this dumb maze. milo always came to noah’s beck and call, not because he felt obligated to, but because he wanted to and he genuinely cared for him. he loved noah, yet time and time again he was pushed away like this.

milo doesn’t get very far before he turns back around to face the other. “why is it only up to me? you were the one that suggested we take a break.” it’s a childish point that he kept making, but true nonetheless. “and why do you keep saying that? why haven’t you said anything, since this was your big idea in the first place? why are you sleeping around, noah?” 

milo didn’t want to know the answer. or technically, he didn’t want to hear it again. their last fight which had unsurprisingly turned into another hook up was still fresh on his mind, and he hated how complicated everything between them had gotten. he just wanted his boyfriend back. why did that have to be so hard?

“i’m not waiting for you to—” he brings his hands up, moments away from rubbing his face in frustration, though he pauses before he does when he remembers the makeup he had on. he throws his arms out to the side and groans instead. “fuck, all i’m waiting for is for you to tell me when. because i’m tired of this too. why do you keep trying to give up? can’t you see i don’t want that?”

he looks away from noah and shakes his head, trying to ignore just how badly he wanted to kiss him. or cry. he wasn’t quite sure which. “life has constantly been hurting me and fucking me over before we even met,” milo mutters sadly. “but i’d rather get hurt with you, by you, for you— whatever the fuck, than be by myself. or with anyone else.”

he sighs and lifts his head, glancing around at the reflections that surrounded them until he met noah’s gaze again, pain evident in his eyes. “isn’t that what love is?”

… @MILOSBAE HAS UPLOADED A NEW POST !

such a pretty lil face even your straight boyfriend is questioning.

w. / @msunoah !

milo wakes up in a cold sweat, practically gasping for air as he shoots up from where he had been sleeping in bed. he brings his hands up to his face and wipes at his eyes, sniffling instinctively when he realizes he’d actually been crying in his sleep. milo never kept the fact that he was a foster kid a secret, but the trauma and ptsd he had developed over the years because of it? that part of himself he did try to keep private. at least to most people. 

so he calls the first person that pops in his head— or, frankly, the only person that he could even imagine being around in his moment of sheer panic. 

“...noah?” he asks once the ringing stops, voice trembling on his end of the line. god, this was stupid. noah had basically broken up with him on halloween, hadn’t he? what was he doing? milo sure as hell had no clue. the only thing on his mind was that he needed noah there.

“can you come over?” he rushes out and feels his throat close up, fresh tears prickling at his eyes when he’s unable to say much more. if anything he wants to say sorry, to apologize for calling so late and out of the blue, but nothing else wanted to leave his mouth. he hated waking up like this after a nightmare; it’s when he always felt the most weak, the most alone. he couldn’t think straight, and it felt like the entire world was caving in on his tiny dorm room.

he lets go of the bedsheet he’d been fumbling with to rub at his face and he clears his throat. “i, uh— i h-had the dream again,” milo chokes out eventually, doing his best to ignore just how shaken up he knew he sounded. he pushes his fingers into his hair and squeezes his eyes shut as he tugs at the strands desperately. “please,” he sighs, voice going quiet. 

msunate​:

had nate been ignoring milo lately? hm. no, he wouldn’t say he’s been avoiding the younger. it’s not like they haven’t been around each other at all over the past few weeks. because they have, but never for too long, and always accompanied by mutual friends. and if nate made an effort to talk to the other people around more than he talked to milo, well… that might have been on purpose.

so while he wouldn’t say he’s been straight up avoiding milo, he can’t lie and say he hasn’t been trying to avoid being alone with him. because, see, here’s the thing: whatever is going on between him and milo? nate kind of doesn’t understand it — like, at all. at first, it had all seemed so clear. they were friends, in fact, he’d say milo is one of the closest friends he has. which is why it hadn’t felt weird to nate when they started fooling around. well, maybe a little bit at first, but… it had soon become such a natural thing, this experimenting they’ve done together.

but now? now things are less clear. he has a girlfriend now (for the first time ever!), and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that means whatever is between him and milo can’t continue. which he was prepared to tell milo, but… for some reason, something has been stopping him. he’s not even exactly sure what. some kind of fear, maybe, because what if milo gets mad? but then again, why would he? they’re friends, that’s all there is between them.

he’ll tell milo eventually, is what he tells himself, but with how long that actually takes him, he’s not surprised when milo confronts him first. nor is he surprised at milo’s bluntness, always one to get straight to the point. despite his lack of surprise, though, and how much time he swears he’s put into trying to come up with the right way to approach this, nate still doesn’t know what to say — in fact, what comes out of his mouth is far from eloquent.

“uhh… it’s been, uhm, like… a few weeks,” he starts, stumbling over his words. “i was gonna, uh, tell you, but…” shit. but what? he doesn’t really have an excuse, does he? well, he better come up with something, fast.

“but, uh… quidditch kept me busy?” he attempts, though he ends up grimacing at his own ridiculous excuse, making it obvious that’s clearly not the case.

nate and milo were friends first and foremost. really good friends. close enough friends that the title of friends was more or less putting it lightly, but neither of them seemed to have a better title for... whatever it was that they were. it wasn’t exactly romantic, but there was something there, right? even if he didn’t know what it was, nate meant a lot to milo, he knew that for sure. 

needless to say, being hung out to dry wasn’t something he wanted — or even something he was anticipating.

milo’s not sure if he ever expected anything to come from their experimentation. no, he definitely wasn’t. or was he? it’s not like either of them ever intended their relationship to go down this route. it just... happened. and milo happened to love it. it was fun and exciting, and the most surprising part? it lasted longer than expected. milo was never given the privilege of structure or routine in his life, but nate had been a constant in his for years. over the last year they’d gotten even closer. so what was he to think now, when suddenly it felt like things had changed?

needless to say, milo had grown a little attached.

“quidditch kept you busy?” he repeats, an incredulous look on his face. what a load of shit. “and what were you gonna say when you got the chance, huh? ‘oh, hey milo, how are you? i’m tired of you and your dick, by the way i’m gonna go fuck some random chick i barely know instead—’”

milo scoffs and shakes his head, runs a hand through his hair with a heavy sigh. “what the fuck are we doing, man? do i mean anything to you?” he narrows his eyes at the other in genuine confusion before the look on his face quickly fades. he frowns, regretting the words he chose. why did he care so much?  

msunoah​:

( ... )

Noah fixes his purple jacket in the mirror and blinks. We look good together. He frowns, bringing a tattooed hand up to awkwardly rub at his neck. “Listen, about that…” He begins, trying his best to get his brain to work. A lot is going on at the moment and it feels like he has a million butterflies in his stomach.

“I mean, that’s the thing. We’re not together,”—God, what was he saying right now?—“In fact, I think we should stop hooking up, okay?” Maybe his brain wasn’t working because his mouth acted before it did. Noah begins to mosey over to the corner that Milo came from and peered around it before turning back to face him. To soften the blow, he asks, “Is the exit this way?”

. . .

milo’s too busy checking them both out to notice noah’s frown at first, but even with how tremendously high he was, he could tell something was wrong just by the tone of his voice. he moves his hands away from fixing his hair and his brows furrow when he catches a glimpse of noah’s expression in the mirror, before turning to see it directly in front of him. all the excitement he might’ve had for the night and from finally seeing the other seemed to disappear in an instant once they were face to face, and the smile milo was holding back earlier falls just as fast.

we’re not together. yes, milo was aware. did they really need that reminder? he was getting a bit tired of them skirting around the situation at hand ever since noah had gotten back from vacation, even if milo knew he was part of the problem. they were both the problem, simply because neither of them seemed to want to talk about the future of their relationship. 

while milo was normally a fairly confrontational person, things with noah always ended up more confusing than they need to be, and he had assumed when noah first suggested their break that he would also be the one to speak up when he was ready to get back together. of course, milo could have been a bit more... proactive on his end, but they always figured things out one way or another, didn’t they? so he hadn’t been all that worried. 

until now. 

noah suddenly wanted to... stop hooking up— “what?” no, no. this was not how milo had planned for things to turn out. wouldn’t they just be taking a step back? that was not what milo wanted at all. not in the slightest. he could feel his chest begin to tighten and his heart drop to his stomach in a matter of seconds — oh god, was he going to have a panic attack? 

“what are you talking about? did you take one of those weird potions they were handing out without checking with me first?” the younger huffs and attempts a smile. he tries to laugh it off, tries to lighten the mood, but milo’s face falls again when he can’t ignore the sense of dread that creeps up behind him as noah walks away. was he being dumped?

he was confused now, a lot more confused than usual at what was going on between them. milo knew he loved noah and he was sure noah loved him, even if they really hadn’t been communicating properly and things were... tense — he was sure they would be getting back together any day now. but this? milo definitely wasn’t expecting. he shuffles over to the corner where noah was once he realized he’d been standing in place a little too long, though it was more than obvious he wasn’t as concerned with getting them out of the maze anymore. 

milo wanted to disagree, to stomp his feet and say no, but more than anything he needed to understand why noah was saying all this while dressed as the joker. “i know we aren’t together,” he mumbles. but don’t you want to be? that’s what he almost says, though for some reason he keeps it to himself. he reaches out to tug on sleeve of noah’s jacket and he blinks up at him, his own expression much too hard to read. “so why show up like this? because we sure do look like a couple right now.”

msujet​:

in business, jet always sticks to his word — you commit and follow through. something is bad quality? you take the hit and move on. for a man who certainly couldn’t disagree that he thought more with his crotch than with his head, jet knew something about proper business (that, and the van laar equation, but no one ever bothered to realize jet was far smarter than he led on). 

he catches his rival in the act — cute, little milo, his eyes so noticeably red that jet was surprised not a single person had yet to point it out. dealing now wasn’t they had agreed on: jet had stuck to his word the whole night. “i wasn’t looking for you,” jet says then, mentally rolling his eyes as milo’s words play on repeat for the millionth time; crush this, crush that, you like me, lets fuck, blah blah blah. 

jet takes it upon himself to unzip milo’s jacket halfway, reaching into his breast pocket to find a rolled joint inside. he knew him too well to not have anything for himself left over. “thanks,” he smiles before pulling a lighter out of his own pocket and lights the end, taking a long hit and blowing the smoke in the other male’s face. he mirrors the same smirk milo had given him before. “that’s what you get for shady business practices when we had a deal.”

“and by the way,” jet raises his eyebrows, “your eyes are red as fuck, dude. you got some extra cash on you now, might wanna go buy yourself some eye drops if you’re gonna walk around and be that obvious about it.”

“sure, you weren’t,” milo scoffs, a dumb smile still spread across his face. his reaction time is slow from the high he was in the midst of, too slow to stop jet from pulling out one of the joints he had stashed away inside of his costume. “hey—” he whines in protest, but he doesn’t make any movement to stop jet. he simply watches as he lights the end, probably focused a little too intently on the way the flame ignites until a cloud of smoke obstructs his vision.

he scrunches up his nose, but that’s about it for milo’s reaction. if anything he enjoys the sensation, the smell of good weed. he cracks another smile and snatches the joint back to take a long drag of his own, already making faces at jet’s wild accusations while the smoke fills his lungs and he’s unable to speak. “shady? i’m just being reliable to my clientele,” he retorts, smoke casually flowing from his mouth and nostrils as he talks rather than blowing it out in one go. “how am i supposed to say no to someone on halloween! and you had to see their faces. do you understand how hard it is to say no?”

milo could never take their rivalry seriously. as far as he was concerned, his weed was better, he’d been dealing for longer, and well... he just didn’t take many things seriously in general. but he liked jet, he didn’t mind his company — so he did his best to humor him when he had requests like this. though milo certainly couldn’t help it when he just straight up forgot. “you should know by now that i have a selective memory,” he mutters, taking another puff. 

w. / @msulevi !

jealousy was not the right word milo would use to describe his feelings towards whatever was going on with him, levi and nate. the whole love/hate triangle or whatever it was they seemed to have going on was frankly way too confusing for milo to keep track of, which is why he and nate had eventually ended their whole friends with benefits thing for a second time back in sophomore year after he and levi started having... problems.

but milo wasn’t stupid. he didn’t need to walk in on levi and nate to know something was going on with them these days. and it comes as a shock — well, no. not really, it doesn’t. milo could sense the sexual tension between them from a mile away, so he thought it was about time they boned. he just didn’t think it’d be without him! or no, wait. that’s not it. he just thought levi would have told him by now, is all. that was the shocking part. best friends are supposed to tell each other everything or some shit like that, right?

maybe it was the fact that milo had the pleasure of sleeping with both of them once upon a time, only to be left out of this new venture? why yes, milo was a little disappointed. but considering how long milo and nate had known each other and how close they had used to be, milo was also a little upset he simply hadn’t been briefed on the situation at hand because... well, he missed being friends with nate, so levi failing to mention they were on good terms now was just a bit annoying. 

even so, he wasn’t planning to confront levi on halloween, but really anything can happen after milo’s smoked two joints in the span of a couple hours and also drank what could have only been either a shot or a random, translucent potion... he’d find out which soon enough. it’s then he runs into levi, while out wandering among the activities — he physically runs into him when milo turns his head away for two seconds, and he can’t help but snort when they nearly bump heads.

“hey—!!” he calls out loudly, a stupid, red-eyed smile spreading across his face upon seeing his best friend before remembering he was supposed to be upset. “hey,” milo mutters again, and it’s almost comical the way his expression suddenly drops. “wait. i’m mad at you.” was he? not seriously, but his eyebrows still knit together in a pointed, not-very-sober look at the other. “you slept with nate!” he hits levi’s chest without much force, though his voice seems to come out as more of a whine rather than with any sort of anger behind it. “what the fuck, dude. how many times has it been?"

mirror maze w. / @msunoah !

considering milo hadn’t seen, heard or so much as gotten a singular text from noah all night, he's a bit surprised to find the first time he’s aware the elder had even showed up to the festivities is when they both just so happen to be lost in the quite unforgiving mirror maze. he’s not sure if it was just because he had been high for most of the night, or if it was just his genuine fondness of the other male, but he can’t help but smile to himself whenever he hears him call out his name. “i’m coming—” he shouts, “just don’t move!” it feels like the fourteenth time he’s said it, though he honestly hadn’t been keeping track and he’s pretty sure at one point when noah called out for milo, his response had simply been a loud ‘polo’.

he’s even more surprised when he turns the corner to finally lay eyes on noah, who now had on a striking resemblance to none other than the joker — which milo distinctly remembers begging the other to dress up as so they could match for halloween, despite how ever so complicated their relationship currently was. he also specifically remembers noah’s answer being no every time he asked, yet here he was... looking absolutely hot as fuck, milo thinks to himself. he looks good with green hair. was it stupid that the whole thing made his heart flutter?

he runs over to close the space between them and jumps onto noah without much hesitation. “found you!” milo’s arms loop around his neck with a bright grin and he kisses his cheek in excitement, lips pressing just underneath one of the fake tattoo’s on his face. “hi,” he says breathlessly as he pulls away, the look in his eyes almost innocent before his gaze begins to drift. he isn’t very subtle in the way he checks noah out, though it would’ve been pretty hard for him not to with what he was or wasn’t wearing. “you look sexy,” he murmurs, turning to admire their costumes in one of the many mirrors around them as he bites down on his lip. “we look good together,” he adds, trying to bite back a smile. “don’t you think?”

w. / @msujet !

maybe jet and milo had made an arrangement that neither of them would deal at the halloween party and would put business away for the night. had milo been high when he had agreed to that? maybe, but milo was definitely high now. and maybe he had made a deal or two over the course of the night, but it wasn’t like milo was seeking anyone out himself. it was just a friend or desperate freshman coming up to him last minute, and well, of course milo had stuff on him. he always does. 

what kind of dealer would he be to turn them away in their time of crisis? honestly, milo was just too high to come up with a reason to say no and when the rich kids on campus came waving their money in his face? milo was never going to say no. he also never really took his rivalry with jet all that seriously; it was fun for him more than anything else. 

he doesn’t really even remember their agreement until jet of all people spots him at the end of one of his transactions and suddenly he was being pulled off into a corner where it was just the two of them. “listen, you look hot when you’re annoyed,” milo starts before jet gets to say much, “but this is nothing to get pissy over, alright? i gave him your name before you scared him off. you’re welcome, by the way,” he huffs, but there’s still a lightness in his tone and a smirk soon appears on his face. 

costume party w. / @msuxander !

xander and milo had an... interesting relationship. they were best friends first and foremost, but they could technically be counted as friends with benefits in the grand scheme of things too. neither of them found harm in making out with each other from time to time, and while milo was always more than happy to take things further, xander liked keeping him on a tight leash. milo was annoyed by it, of course, but he would never push. consent was important. it was just part of the game they played.

so when he finds out xander was going to be joker for halloween and then changed his costume last minute — well, obviously milo’s feelings were hurt just a little bit. “you’re such a dickhead,” he whines. “you totally changed your costume just because i told you i was being harley quinn. i had this planned already!” he closes the space between them and circles his arm around xander’s obnoxiously, ignoring any eyes that may have been on them because of milo’s loud complaining despite being more or less off to the side of the party. 

backdated . . . fall of 7th year, ilvermorny. w / @msunate !

it was hard for milo to get attached. growing up in and out of homes without much stability, commitment was something rarely found in his life. and while his dynamic with nate was not exactly one of commitment, it was definitely one of the closest things he’d had at their age.

the two of them had more or less grown up together while at ilvermorny, and milo wasn’t even sure how long they’d been fooling around by now, but it had gone on through the previous school year alone. he had even visited nate over the summer at one point! still, they never actually took the time to define what their relationship actually was, but... they were more than friends. they had been more than friends for awhile, too — milo knew that much.

and now it’d been, what? two, three weeks? a month since milo and nate had last been alone together? not that milo was counting. but aside from the few classes they shared, it almost felt like nate had been avoiding him. and it didn’t take long for milo to discover he was... dating someone now too? it was news to milo, that’s for sure. news that he specifically did not get from nate himself, and he was determined to change that.

not that he usually pays much attention in class, today he’s particularly unobservant, instead focused on nate and what felt like the giant elephant in the room the entire time. he waits until the classroom empties out after they’re dismissed before trapping nate at his desk as he’s gathering his things, even if milo’s form compared to the taller wasn’t very intimidating. he’s not even sure if he’s trying to be intimidating, he just wants to catch nate before he slips out the door.

milo as . . . harley quinn * !

“i tried to play by the rules, but no!

they wouldn’t let me go straight! 

society is to blame!”

msumiyoung​:

as apathetic as she may appear,  miyoung has always been incredibly perceptive of the people around her,  acute analytical skills which allow her to pick up on habits of others and jot them down in her memory.  of course she does it all very subtly and very silently,  just like all the intel she has already collected on the enemy quidditch teams without a single soul having noticed her spying on them.

today’s focus doesn’t lie on quidditch,  however.  today’s focus in on a certain fellow hwaseong and dance club member.  she already expects him to saunter into the common room at the exact time she’s predicted;  her back is leaned against the nearest wall,  feline-like eyes narrowed into a sharp glare directed only at him.  a stark contrast way of greeting him compared to the grin on his lips.

“cut the small talk.”  she retorts,  pushes herself away from the wall and closes the gap between them by stepping closer.  “i know what you’re about to go do and i think you are incredibly selfish for always doing it by yourself and not sharing the fun with those around you.  namely myself.”  yes,  she is hinting to a certain hobby-slash-occupation he’s picked up,  even if it’s very unlike her to care for such things.  all she wants is to get rid of today’s boredom and milo seems to be the perfect person to provide her with distraction.  “anyway.  i’m joining you today.”

perhaps other people would be intimidated or scared into being miyoung’s friend with the way she came across, but honestly? milo found her rather amusing, and he liked how she didn’t take anyone’s shit. he was always used to dealing with people that weren’t as smart or as out there as him, but everyday the younger girl seemed to surprise him. and while he wasn’t sure how much miyoung would agree, he was beginning to think the two of them weren’t all that different from each other.

“selfish?” he screws up his face, half a smile lost in confusion as he snorts at her. “i don’t remember ever saying you weren’t invited.” kicking his legs over the couch, milo pulls himself up on the back, feet now swinging between them. “ohoho, so miss queen of being healthy and shit finally wants to smoke a joint with me?” he grins again, completely unfazed by the younger’s glare.