Cars and beers and shit...

28 years old Size 10,12,14.

I have lurked body positive blogs like this one for the last 6 years or so and finally created an account of my own. I had no idea that not absolutely loathing my body was an option until I discovered the body positivity movement here on tumblr. I have acquired a sense of confidence and empowerment that I could only dream of prior; and it’s all thanks to ladies like you. 💖

The Trixster

Main Entry: trix.ster

Pronunciation: \ˈtrick-stir\

Function: noun

Date: 2010

: An attractive female person who enjoys independent music and/or culture/clothing, but still persists in being a trixie (see trixie). A hipster male may date a trixster under the impression that she is, in fact, an unusually groomed hipster girl, but true hipster girls see her for what she really is: A lip-glossed former sorority girl in an indian headband.

Notable trixsters:

Ke$ha Popular — oft-auto-tuned — singer who recorded her debut album in Los Angele’s Echo Park neighborhood (widely known for being populated by hipsters). Often dresses in ridiculous costumes and, in her videos, frolics with bearded men. Often labeled a “hipster” by the clueless mainstream press who tend to use the term interchangeably with “unwashed.”

Natalie Portman Actress known for her “Girl Next Door” looks, predilection for “difficult acting roles” and Ivy League pedigree. Gained a certain level of hipster cache for her role in coming-of-age twee fest, Garden State, yet promptly lost that cache after everyone saw the film again and decided that it was “fucking lame.” Could possibly regain hipster cred for a recent makeout scene with Mila Kunis in the recently released Black Swan. Hipsters love experimentation.

Any Model Lauded For Her “Hipster Style” Even though said models are oft emaciated and decidedly boyishly figured (as your average hipster girl is wont to be), a hipster girl would never submit to being the cotton-mouthed puppet of the oh-so conformist fashion industry. Notable Exceptions: Those chicks in black and white photo books and whatnot — although they’re often not wearing clothes, so that’s a moot point anyway.

Asking You Out Directly

Hipsters may hook up with the best of them, but one thing they are loathe to do is ask one out directly. Instead, they employ a nebulous form of courtship that we like to refer to as “The Implied Ask-Out.”

The Implied Ask-Out functions thusly:

Hipster Boy: So what are you doing tomorrow night?

Hipster Girl: Uhh, I dunno. I was planning on lugging the old typewriter over to El Beit and pounding out a few more sonnets for my new ‘zine, “My Hair’s So Long, It Doesn’t Make Sense as Hair Anymore.” Or, you know, drinking in my room. You?

Hipster Boy: Oh, well. Kimbell is having a party to celebrate the one-year anniversary of that antiques store/apothecary/coffee shop he and Jezebel opened… last year… naturally… Should be cool…

Hipster Girl: Oh. Nice.

Hipster Boy: Yeah. I’ll be there at around 1 am, if you’re around…

As you can see, no real invitation has been extended — even the “if you’re around” is decidedly vapor-like.

So why the predilection for such pussy-eque proposals? Well, hipsters are just like you! Shy! Nervous! Afraid of rejection! That and they’re not totally sure they’re into you yet, but it would be cool if you showed up, you know, like if they’re drunk and looking for some action. And if they do, indeed, decide to bail, it’s not like they really asked you out, anyway? Right? Wait, why are you mad?

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