It's ya girl AJ back at it again. This is my sideblog, I follow from @glittergelpensherlock. I write fanfic and rp here (and sometimes draw). Mod is 20+, so 18+ only please :). Asks/reqs are always open and welcome! (this is a multi muse blog so specify if you want something specific) ♡♡♡♡
Current Muses: Ruth McAdams (RDR oc) and West Stanton (RDR2 oc) [[I've got plenty of ocs and am also willing to rp characters from fandoms too!]]
Fandoms: Red Dead, Supernatural, Doctor Who, Sherlock, NCIS, Ninjago, Marvel, Hell on Wheels, Star Wars, Indiana Jones (and a lot of others)
Masterlist Here :)
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#girllocks fics — my original works
#girllocks recommend — fics by other amazing authors that I totally suggest you read!!
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When Ruth offered her hand started to pet Grumpy, the animal immediately melted into her touches, understanding she was one of the good people, his tail wagging so much, the little jumps he would give as she scratched behind his ears, and it just stayed there, enjoying all the pets, and when she paused, he'd stand, pressing both his paws against her chest, sniffing her all over, letting out happy little cries.
"Huh. He likes you. That's....that's actually rare. Normally he's grumpy to people and people are grumpy back or just scared because of his size.
The dog had a lot of soft skin to be pet because of its age, and it seemed to be a very calm animal.
The thunders started to hit loudly again, the power oscillating, as if the typhoon was trying to catch up.
"Thanks for helping." John said once he locked the door and went downstairs, Grumpy jumping onto the backseat and curling on his place, already preparing to take a nap. Traveling made it sleepy.
"Hey...you'll be home in no time, alright?" If he wasn't used to be acting rough, maybe he'd be saying a lot more, offering a hug or apologizing about everything, but it was his job and he needed to keep her safe.
The storm was quite violent as they left town. The power oscillating outside, some trees had fallen, some lower areas were flooding. The amount of water that started falling from the sky was formidable to say the least. Gladly John's driving was good, the truck was robust and they weren't having any problems. Because of how late it was, the streets were mostly empty, and one they got to the suburban area, he felt like he was in one of those liminal spaces, the sky so dark, absolute silence but the sound of the car engine, the lights outside limited to each house, all the rest, the fields, the distance, all seemed so pitch black.
John even shivered at some point, it was getting so cold. He looked to the side to see Ruth, she seemed so...she seemed so sick. Exhausted. He felt bad for her. The address, he didn't even need a GPS, until they were close to Cholla Springs. Gently he poked her shoulder. "Hey, we're almost there. Cheer up a little...." He tried, but he was a bit tired too.
Once he parked by her little ranch like property, he also let a sigh of relief. "If anyone asks....remember to say what we talked. That some maniac was stalking you....destroyed your car...I'm keeping you safe for a few days, alright?" He wasn't aware she was totally alone. He imagined at least a parent, sibling or boyfriend would be around, but...the place seemed so damn quiet.
"Come on, let's wake up, boy, we arrived."
Grumpy started wagging its tail and looking around, jumping off the car as soon as John opened the door, the animal froze when it felt the fresh breeze of the fields, of countryside.
'Awoooofff wooof wooffff wofff wuuuuuff wufff wuffff!' It started to hop in circles as John tried to remove the leash. "Easy boy...I'm trying to take this off...." Once John did, the dog bolted towards the house, jumping and rolling on the green grass, resting on its back and wiggling its paws up.
"Huh. I've never seen this big boy so energetic. I guess being here for a while will do him good" He smirked at little as he took his things from the car, rushing inside following Ruth. The rain had taken a short break before it started hitting hard again. John waited before walking in. "Where is everyone?" He asked, finding everything too silent.
"Grumpy, come boy, or you'll get all wet." Marston took a towel from his bag, crouched down to dry the animal, it seemed so happy, it made John chuckle. "Give them paws....let's dry your feet....good boy..."
"Miss...thanks for accepting me here, even if...." He sighed. "Well, even if there wasn't much of a better option. I'll explain everything tomorrow when you're well rested..."
Where did she go?
"Alright...I'll take the room upstairs then. Thank you. Could I maybe take a shower?" The dark rings under his eyes seemed larger, driving amidst that storm, the damn typhoon, which was threatening to get worse made him extra tired. "Can Grumpy sleep inside?"
Where was she? He was holding a pistol, ready to give it to her, but....where?
"Maybe tomorrow then....I guess everyone's tired."
He saw the bunny in the kitchen, it seemed so angry for some reason. "Hey little feller."
Marston didn't know if Ruth would allow his dog upstairs, so he took Grumpy's bed and placed near the bunny, by the small pen in the kitchen. "Behave, boy. Don't mess anything up, we're guests." The huge scary german shepherd curled down and started to whine though, crying to John, giving the puppy eyes. 'Abueh bueh bueh bueh bueh....' He sighed. "It's her house...and...just tonight..."
The dog rolled on his back and started to move its paws in the air as if it was dying. "Oh no need for drama...come on. Come on. You ain't alone, there's the bunny there." Grumpy paused and looked at Dinner. The little bunny looked like a fur ball of pure rage. Grumpy looked back at John, cried and jumped up to curl on his lap, Marston had to catch him.
"You're afraid of it?? Oh...why?? Well....it does look angry....alright...I'm taking you to my room with me...but no noise, no mess, alright? You already peed outside, right? Not wet cocks staining the floor, alright? It's a lady's house." He kept drying the animal with the towel, in more detail now since it was coming inside. "Your chest is all wet...play in the grass tomorrow, okay?" Grumpy rested his head on John's shoulder and closed its eyes to rest, loving the caresses of the towel. "You're such a big baby. You're getting heavy." John carried the animal and its bed upstairs, and he had no idea which room was his.
He set down the dog bed on the corridor and gently placed Grumpy on it. "Just a minute, boy."
John had left his boots by the porch, stepping silently to inspect if that was the right room, and the moment he looked, his lips parted as he saw the lady, naked on her bed, spread on soft sheets- he froze. The memory of what he had seen at the scanner room, and now again, that perfect body, and she seemed so relaxed. Her thighs and delicate legs, her ribs and that soft skin, those perfect breasts and that golden hair. He blushed, even stopped breathing for a while, eyes locked on her, feeling guilty each second he admired her, her perfect bottom, she seemed like a holy statue and he hadn't felt so horny in such a long time. "Mnm." He gave an awkward nod and stepped back and out of her room, cheeks and ears warm and red, he silently made his way to his own room. "Oh boy....she must be so tight." He panted and shook his head as he opened the other room, carrying his things inside, Grumpy grunting a little a John's comment, as if judging his owner. "Ah don't you start, I know what you do to the Santa Klaus plushie." The dog looked offended as it followed John carrying his little bed with his mouth.
Once his things were in the room, he felt sleep hit him, but he needed a shower. He was smelling precinct and that molded big city. Smelling like Blackwater, and that town, it was...different, he felt a shower there would make him feel pure and clean, like countryside.
He went to to shower, turned on the water, relaxed finally, the only tension left in him was the one seeing her all nude caused. Oh how he wanted to have that woman, he knew thoughts like that were his entrance ticket to hell, but....the thought of she asking for it...and him having her sweetly on that bed of hers....ughh....he closed his eyes and kept imagining it as he washed himself and relieved that tension.
Once he was done and had dried himself, he also felt the last of his energy gone when he got close to his bed. His bare feet against the wooden floor felt right and relaxing, he also sunk into his bed, didn't even pull the sheets, he just rested on top of them, his dark hair spread on the pillow- Grumpy was sleeping on his little dog one when he checked, but didn't take long until he felt the animal jumping onto it, resting by his side. Since John looked so peaceful and so tired, the dog respected his space this time. The rain outside, the wooden noises caused by the wind, it was all so relaxing. Didn't take long for him to hug a pillow, dreaming about her, her lips, those breasts, that perfect spot between her thigh and her sides. "Dang....why did she have to look so.....so perfect like that, Grumpy...." The hot water that relaxed him for good, he was so calm and sleepy he even seemed to be drugged. "I'll wake up hard like hell for sure....mnmhg...she's so perfect..."
The dog grunted at John, judging him again, wanting to sleep. "Alright....I'll shut up....just...this pillow is mine...."
He blacked out, had very sweet dreams, and for the first time in years, he didn't have a nightmare. He just...loss track of everything, he just slept. Slept for so many hours.
His phone vibrated a couple of hours later, but he didn't even notice. If not shaken, he probably would sleep until noon, it had been the best sleep ever, breathing in and out, using the pillows as cover, he even forgot who he was or where he was.
@girllock-writes
Ruth had smiled at Grumpy. She thought it was funny that John called him her husband... obviously, Grumpy was a dog, but Ruth thought that she wouldn't mind a man like that. Capible, but also so willing to show affection. Her fingers brushed his fur, scratching behind his ears. She felt safe, slottwed between the agent and his dog. Like nothing in the world could get to her.
She listened quietly when John spoke, feeling the heavy sort of energy his words carried. All that pain and numbess, it would drive her crazy. He'd been through so much. It was a crude story to hear, but Ruth just kept herself next to him, wishing that she could do anything to make him forget that pain. He was supposed to be safe in her house, safe from the memories and trauma of his past. He was free to speak of them, but Ruth prayed they wouldn't haunt him here. Though his past was sad, part of her found it slightly impressive that he had survived so much. John was a man of great skill and Ruth knew that was something to be admired. The scars didn't look like wounds to her, but more like trophies... the world had tried to destroy him but he had survived and told it to go fuck itself.
Her eyes returned to him when he commanded her to answer. She really realllly didn't want to. There was a coldness to his voice, one she hadn't heard since she'd met him. Her eyes blinked up at him, knowing she should listen but also just as scared of answering as she was of not. Ruth wasn't particularly scared of John, but her heart skipped a few beats, thinking of all the things he could do to her. He was a killer. He was all those terrible things he'd listed. And she saw past that. Ruth couldn't see him as simply those flaws, but it would be foolish to ignore them. Her hesitation wasn't necessarily one of anxiety, but of introspection. She thought for a moment that if he was a worse man, their dynamic would be very different.
Picking up the phone, Ruth felt a little like a scolded puppy. "Hey," she answered, sitting back a bit as a new dread filled her stomach. 'Sweetie!' The woman's voice rang over the line. 'I decided that I didn't want to wait to visit and I'm coming tomorrow. Isn't that wonderful!' Ruth cringed. She had completely forgotten... her mother had wanted to visit. Tomorrow she was supposed to have lunch with her father. And how was she going to explain John? "Nows not such a great time, mom," she tried to explain as she stood to pace. Ruth always paced when she was on the phone. "It's very busy and–" 'Oh, you worry too much! Besides, it's not like you ever have guests.' Ruth flinched, glancing at John. "Actually... I do. Right now... Something happened in town and the police..." 'Well, the more the merrier,' the older woman said, as if she hadn't heard a word of Ruth's story. 'I'll drop in about dinner tomorrow. Then we can go into Blackwater on Monday for shopping.' "But I have work and–" 'See you tomorrow, sweetie!' The line clicked shut. Ruth had to hold back a frustrated sigh. Not only was she hiding from monsters, she had to deal with domestic issues too. Slumping back onto the couch, Ruth pulled her legs to her chest, wondering what she was going to do about the mess she was in.
"I'm aware you may have family issues, but we don't want them thinking you got kidnapped and alerting the local police. Johnson was already out of script, specially the part in which he showed up in my room to threaten me while my butt was out like God made it. Don't forget the cops think you were threatened by some maniac. There are levels of top secret above top secret, and for a reason. Keep things simple. We don't want you stepping in Blackwater anytime soon, so I won't let your mother take you." He sighed, scratched the back of his head, hating himself for causing so much tension. He knew it was her mom's fault in a way, but he knew he had to keep things in control.
Grumpy was already wandering around the house since she stood up to pace, and John's clothes were a bit wrinkled due to Ruth resting against him. And that had made him fee all sensible, physcally. Any soft brushing against his skin felt like heaven. "You'll get paid fondly for cooperating, if that helps you stay motivated and see all this in a more positive way. You don't need to stress too much, despite all the problems. If my heart stops, they'll know because of my watch, and a whole team will come to make sure you're safe. Also, I can't harm you in any way. I'm here to keep you safe and well. And honestly, I just wanna help you."
He sighed, feeling bad for her, for the whole situation. He was getting attached, he knew. Attached and attracted. John could feel her scent all over him. Making him feel very strong things, imagine things, have those warm shivers. "Your mom seems like something else." He joked. Seeing her curling on the couch holding her knees just reminded him how young she was, and how stressed her life felt. "Hey, don't be like that...you'll be fine. I can get rid of your mom if you'd like. Just kiddng. Come on...cheer up." He poked her shoulder a little, eyes patient, he really cared. "Sorry, bad joke. I could have her win some cruiser offer though, so she spends a month away to give you some peace." He smirked playfully. "Come on, what things you want the most? Focus on the good things. It's what they told me to say in the motivational course."
Ruth glanced at John. She was grateful for him and for the protection, but it still felt confusing and new... After all it had only been a couple days. "I know," she said quietly, understanding just how important it was to keep the act up. "And thanks... She's... well, she's my mother and I love her, but after she left my dad... I swear she's gone a little off the rails." Ruth sighed before sitting up a little straighter.
"She's going to want my room... I always move to the guest room for her. But that's your space." Ruth gave a small huff, thinking of a hundred things she should tell the man to prepare him. "She's pushy sometimes. Doesn't ever take no for an answer and–" Ruth groaned, feeling a sense of dread. And maybe jealousy at the thought. "And she will try to flirt with you. I get that her relationship with dad wasn't good but it can get... intense." Ruth hated the idea of her mom trying to come on to John. He was hers... sort of. Not in a romantic sense, maybe. Even if she sometimes wished. But that was silly. If anything, he was her friend, and he was technically here for work. Not play. Even so, he'd been assigned to her. Just her. Ruth knew it was sort of selfish and stupid to be jealous over that. Had he not already rejected the advances of that girl in the parking lot? Rith wondered if men cared about that sort of thing... women being jealous. Not that she had a right to be.
Really looking at him now, Ruth gave a sad sort of smile. "I don't need money, John. I don't really want it. I know it's important... and I want to help... but it's like you said. What if I can't? What if I made it worse?"
She allowed herself a small laugh at his joke. "Don't offer. It's too tempting." She stood again, moving toward the kitchen for the food. She returned a few minutes later with plates and glasses, setting them on the table before getting the pizza. It probably should have cooled a little longer, but Ruth could tell John was hungry. She sat back down next to him, trying to enjoy a last night of peace. Monsters were scary, sure. But so was her mother sometimes.
John blinked a few times, paying attention to Ruth's words. Whenever she actually spoke, not the usual short answers or glares, the actual times she talked, it always felt so meaningful and important. "It's your house. I can sleep in the car if you need. Or in the living room." He really wouldn't mind if he had to. As long as he was close to the house to stop some attack.
"She'd what? Hit on me? But she doesn't even know me. Don't this small town have any men?" He chuckled, and he was actually slowly getting surprised that Ruth seemed so serious about it, angry or annoyed apparently. She'd look as angry and Dinner, it was too cute.
"Well, I guess your mother will have to learn how to accept no's. Cause I doubt she's more stubborn than me." He ran hhis fingers through his hair, adjusting it, it was already getting longer— like just being there eating her food and sleeping well was already making him healthier— his grayish eyes starting to show some brown.
"You don't need money? You're the first person to ever tell me that. Everyone needs. Even if you're selfless, you need money to help others. You need a new car to get your work done." He was impressed, but not very happy about it. Things would have been easier if she just accepted some price. But...that also made her even more special. The agent in him was upset at his work becoming a bit more difficult, but John....he was actually happy she was like that.
"No, Ruth. I didn't say I'd pay you to join the operation team. I said I'd pay you to do as I say." He sighed, rubbing his brow. "I already said I don't want you to join. You'd suffer and I don't want you to suffer. You're a good woman. Too good for this world." He said while staring the void, looking down, the agent at him sighing at his own defeat for getting too attached to her.
And then she laughed at his bad jokes, making him smile. He followed her with his eyes as Ruth walked to the kitchen to get the pizza out of the oven onto the table, his stomach growled loudly, but his eyes kept following her again, and she sat close to him again— that made his eyes go soft and sweet— he was melting more every time Ruth interacted with him. And again, he bit his lips, wondering if she was approaching only because he was afraid to be alone.
The young woman thought about John's words. 'I'd pay you to do as I say.' They were a bit odd to her. Even if it was to protect her, he must have some other reason, wouldn't he? Ruth wondered again what the point of all this was. She understood what was happening, she just didn't know why. Part of her wondered if John even fully knew why. The rest of the daylight seemed to drag on slowly. Ruth found herself not wanting to move from John's side. Even when she wanted to go shower and get into her pjs, staying next to him sounded nicer.
Maybe she was afraid of being alone... she hadn't really been before. But then again, if she had a choice of getting close to someone to fill that lonely void, John didn't seem like the ideal person. Or perhaps he was since he was the only one around. Ruth really wasn't friends with many people her own age, and even though John was a bit older, he was much closer to her in that respect than anyone else.
As of now, she was only really afraid of the pressures of the coming day. She had closed her eyes as she leaned against John, feeling sleep pull at her. Sliding away from him a little, Ruth layed down, her head resting on his leg as she maneuverd her legs behind where Grumpy was sitting on the other cushion. It was like John was her pillow and Grumpy was her blanket. She sighed, her eyes still heavy even though she wasn't very tired.
"What if we just went away again. Far from here... I know you said it would be suspicious, but I... I just want to be alone with you. It's quiet and safe... It's– Well, it's nice."
John ate the pizza she made him like his life depended on it. Absolutely delicious, better than any pizza he had ordered, better than anything he had eaten in Blackwater. He ate until his stomach was full, and if he was alone, he'd sleep right there, wake up, eat more and then go back to sleep. "So good....no wonder food stuff literally is your job." He cleaned his plate, every time. Ate his pizza and whatever was left of Ruth's, the parts she didn't eat. Even the dough alone was soft and so tasty, and all so warm. "I'll definitely get fat if I stay here." He chuckled, giving her a soft smile. "Thank you. For real. These past few days, I feel like I'm in some luxury five star inn fifty years in the past. And I ain't even that old."
John noticed she was awfully quiet. He wondered if it had been something he said, or if she was just anxious for the next day. Grumpy was definitely poking Ruth around more often, bumping his head against her leg, acting cuddly, wanting to cheer her up, looking up at her and wagging his tail slowly, as if to tell the young woman everything was okay, that he was happy to be there with her. Seeing the dog follow her around the house the whole afternoon pretty much told him she needed emotional support, and he was glad Grumpy was good at that, because John knew he was awful about it.
When he was almost napping on the couch, he felt the pressure of her body against him. He kept his eyes closed, relaxed. She was just lonely, he'd just let her rest. She needed human contact, well, people needed, and she was so lonely and he was the only person there. Grumpy made sure to cuddle her all the time, giving her small licks from time to time, pressing its cold nose against her skin.
Watching movies, digesting food and feeling Ruth napping practically on his lap, that was something he didn't know he needed. It was hard to not feel protective, the urge to pet her hair was big, but he resisted it. Approaching too much and getting intimate would be a problem, wouldn't it? He just rested his arm on her protectively.
"What? Run away?" His lips moved into a sad smile. "We shouldn't. It would make the team lose trust in all this, it would make them want to bring us back." He sighed, and damn he understood so well, he also wanted to run away from all that. "Why me of all people though? What about your friends? Don't you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Or your family?" He couldn't understand she actually liked him, he believed that was happening because he was the only person around. "Considering Grumpy is a dog, technically, you are alone with me." Grumpy groaned, pressed its face against Ruth's back. "Why it's nice being with me? All I've done so far was order you around, eat your food, sleep on your bed, invade your space. I know I ain't awful but...you sure you're just not...too lonely?"
Ruth reached her hand back, scratching at Grumpy's fur. He was so calming to be around. She thought he really did make a good therapy dog. John's words hit her sort of hard. Maybe she was just lonely... but even so, she didn't ever want him to leave. Despite all the reasons why she shouldn't like him or why it didn't make sense, Ruth did. She felt bad, not knowing what she truly felt or why. All she knew was that right now, John meant more to her than most of the people she knew.
She gave a guilty sigh, but didn't move from her spot on his lap. "Maybe I am just lonely," she said quietly, her eyes staring at the television. "I don't know why it's nice... But it is. I don't mind the ordering. I like sharing my space, my things, my food. And you're the first person in a while who has made me feel like sharing was more than just a chore." She turned, staring up at him. Her eyes were sad. "Most of my friends are much older... They have lives, families and kids and grandkids, they are already fulfilled. I've got a few friends my age, but they're all gone off, pursuing dreams that don't involve me. No one's been interested in dating me in... well... ever. And my parents–" She paused with a sigh. "They love me, I know that. But being around them makes me feel even more lonely, like I'm destined to forever be a bridge between two things that should never touch."
Ruth found herself mindlessly petting Grumpy to keep her hands occupied. He was soft and sweet, much like she thought John was. "You're here to do your job. I know that. I guess, for the first time in a while, it finally feels like someone cares of their own accord, not just because they think they owe me something."
She turned her head back away, feeling as if she might cry if she kept looking at John. "I know it's a silly thing to think. And it's terrible of me to see you that way. It's unfair. I know I'm lonely... Maybe it's just because you are here... But you're my friend, or, at least, I hope you are. Is it wrong to like someone even if the circumstances force you together?" Ruth owed John her life multiple times over now. She knew the situation of their meeting was unorthodox, but she still cared about him.
"Would you still ask that if we had met a different way? A better one? Or... a less forced one?"
"No, it ain't wrong. Not at all. People meet each other in the most random ways. You're not...forced to like or dislike people because of the way you met them, people just...I'm not sure....they...react to people and...most times people simply hate or love based on circunstance and first impressions." The way she kept looking at him, she seemed to hold so much guilt and hesitation. Every word she said meant sonething, in the sense she had clearly thought a lot about it all.
Listening to how she ended up alone was sort of heartbreaking. It hadn't been something fast and violent like it had happened to himself, but slow, silent and indifferent. "Well, I'm old." He chuckled a bit. "Not like Johnson but...someone as young as you must see me like some old ugly guy who smells like cigarettes." He checked his pockets, didn't find the cigarette box, then looked at the little counter by the entrance and it was right there where he left. He hadn't smoked since he put it there so casually, and he hadn't even realized.
"Yes, I think you can say that I'm your friend. We stole chocolate, you made me a pie, gave me a very comfy room and let me sleep in your bed— you treat my senior dog well, you're nice to me and you're honestly a good person. We watch cartoons together I mean." It was a bunch of good things. And they slept close to each other holding hands, and they were almost...cuddling on the couch, like it was so natural.
That made him stop and think for a minute.
What was Ruth becoming to him? A daughter he never had? A person he had to protect? Sometimes maybe what a mom he also never had? A friend? Someone special? Someone he was attracted to?Maybe all those things together. "If we had met differently, in the sense....if you had more people around you? Or...if we had normal lives and just met each other while going to the bank or something? I....yeah I think I'd still ask. Not because you have some sort of problem, but because people normally don't like me. Since I was a kid I get those stares....like my presence is some sort of offense. Then I commited a lot of crimes and people who know....well, they hate me or fear me and those who don't know, well, they don't approach me much. Maybe because of my face, my tattoos, my awful mood, my smell of smoke. I don't look like someone very sociable. And I ain't. The world stepped on me when I needed help...when I was vulnerable, so why the heck I have to look nice to the world? If I'm feeling angry or tired or annoyed, I just show it. I thought you'd treat me like most people do but...but you're so nice. Too nice."
Because of her sad puppy eyes and the slow emotional voice, he decided to hold her. Just hold her protectivelly. Maybe what was left of his paternal instinct was hitting. He couldn't tell. "Sorry for asking that. I didn't mean to make you feel....wrong. You ain't. You're fine. You're okay." He sighed. "We being here...ain't so forced. I asked them that. I told you, they wanted to keep you there but...you were so anxious it was getting on my nerves, I couldn't just leave you like that. I thought being home near the people you know would be better for you. I knew the others would be afraid to come so I volunteered knowing they'd accept it."
He smiled a bit shyly, but so happilly. "Yeah, we're friends. I also had no one. Dealing with people also felt like chores. "I like being with you too. Damn, too much. Definitely more than I should like."
It seemed silly to Ruth that people would just be mean to him for no reason. She didn't understand why anyone would do that for any reason. Even if it was based on looks or vibes, both of those seemed pretty surface level. She didn't quite know how to understand 'too nice'. Was nice bad? Maybe not bad bad, but did it make her vulnerable? Ruth had never thought about it that way. She'd always been told to just be nice to people because it was right. Glad to hear they were friends, Ruth gave him a small smile. It made her heart beat a little faster when he said he did like her.
But more than he should? What did that mean? Ruth was glad the light was pretty dim, her ears were turning an embarrassed shade of pink.
"You don't have to feel sorry," she said, not knowing how else to address the other things he had said. "Really... What has happened has happened. There's not much we can do about what life throws at us, we can only face it with a willing spirit." Sitting up, Ruth rubbed her eyes sleepily.
"We shoukd head upstairs," she suggested. "Before we fall asleep on the couch again... My back was not a fan of that." Scratching at Grumpy's ears, she beckoned for the dog to follow as if her were her own. She almost forgot he wasn't. Picking up the dishes quickly, she left them in the sink, not wanting to deal with them at the moment. As she started to the stairs, she got a strange feeling. It was like that tug she felt when she'd seen that creature that morning. That something was calling for her and she just couldn't ignore it. Pushing the feeling down, Ruth climbed the steps, thinking once she got to bed with John, she should never leave.
John smiled a little when she did, when he said he was her friend. Indeed, he liked her. He just did. Despite the fact there were tons of reasons why, he couldn't point a finger at a single one. "You kinda give me hope in a way." A corner of his lips kept the smile that had formed as he looked down, a bit shyly, reserved, contemplating all of that. "The pizzas were delicious. I'm...very grateful." He muttered, thanking her from heart.
"Damn, you're right. I'm alrewdy starting to feel my eyes heavy. This house is damn peaceful. I didn't have to take any meds. I guess working outside and not having any nightmares worked like magic. Thanks for helping me regarding that." He stood, watching her as she took the plates to the sink. John took a plastic bag and started gathering the trash, the wrapping of the ingredients she used, the bottles they drank from, napkins. The kitchen was acceptable, they could clean it by the morning.
"I had forgotten how it was like to be all clean and well fed and wearing something so soft." John confessed, his voice and smile almost sad, even though he meant to say all that as something good. "I'd get home and just crash on the couch or bed, try to sleep and fail and then fill my ass with sleeping pills or drink until I fainted. At least I'd forget the nightmares. And right now...damn, I feel so light. Thanks to you." He followed her, watching how Grumpy listened to Ruth, sometimes even more than he listened to himself. Maybe after all that was over, if it was ever over, maybe Grumpy should retire and just live with her. He had never seen the dog so calm and happy. John playfully gave a soft slap on the tip of the animal's tail as he walked by, Grumpy turning and standing on its back paws to nuzzle against John's chest, almost undoing his robes, the man had to hold it and fix it. "You sweet giant. Big baby." He pinched the dog's cheeks playfully and scratched its neck and behind its ears. "You've been such a gentleman. I'm really proud." He kissed Grumpy's forehead, who leaped up to try and and kiss John back, but ended up headbutting him by accident, making the man let out an acute little scream. "Careful! You're strong, boy." He gave Grumpy more scratches and more kissed, the animal's tail wagging like he'd take flight. "To bed now, alright? Let's go. Behave, we're invading her room."
Every time John spoke about the differences between his old life and his new one here with her, Ruth felt the strings of her heart pull tightly. She was sad he ever had to live in such a way, but now... Now he was safe. He was home. If he could truly consider this his home. Ruth had originally thought he would hate the place, it might have been to soft for him. But seeing his relaxation and contentment made Ruth happy.
"You don't have to thank me," she said as she opened the door to her room. She giggled a little, watching Grumpy play with John a little. She didn't see their presence as an invasion. It it was, well, they could invade any time they wanted. Her life was feeling full again. Maybe tomorrow wouldn't be so bad... He father was usually alright, and having John around might make her mother seem less scary.
Ruth sat on the edge of her bed, letting her hair down and pulling her socks off before pausing. She probably shouldn't undress in front of him... Not that he would mind. Not that she would mind... But it felt a little insensitive. Grabbing up her pajamas and robe, Ruth headed for the door. "I'll be back in a minute." By the time she returned, she was ready to crawl into bed, covered in long cotton pjs and a fluffy bathrobe. She climbed into the bed, not hesitating to curl up next to John immediately. His warmth was something she was getting too used to.
"You're a good friend," she stated decidedly as she gave a content sigh. "Don't know why no one ever liked you, you're nice."
She said he didn't have to thank her, but sweetness and kindness were so rare. It was like a bliss when it happened. The world had grown into somewhere so big and also so small and so indifferent, like people used to hide their kindness afraid others would abuse it. And Ruth wasn't afraid to hide it. That made her so precious in ways John's mind simply couldn't put into words or elaborate a metaphor, not yet, it was mostly emotions and sensations than anything logic. Even her scent became home.
He let her lead the way, the moment she opened the door, Grumpy already rushed inside, the little noises caused by its nails hitting the floor, its quick steps into the safest spot in the world. John kept his hands in the pockets his robes, eyes sleepy and distracted, blinking a few times when he realized Ruth had started to strip— her hair, it seemed like pure gold....and....—
Quickly he took a deep breath, somehow making it almost inaudible, turned to the door, ready to leave and give her some space, but then she was already coming his way— "Sure, of course. The place is yours. If you want some more privacy tonight, lemme know." He managed to stay serious and calm when he said it— but the moment she left the room, the flush of red spread all over his face and ears. "Mmnm."
The dog found its place on a fluffy carpet, already hugging the tomato plushie he had found somewhere, curling to sleep. He found himself standing there, eyes lost, remembering the night he saw her all naked on that bed— and her hair... it was like it was made out of some holy gold. She said he was a good friend. That made him so happy actually. And to his annoyance (about himself) he could already feel all that emotion between his legs, that warm soft tingle that made him blush and facepalm a little. He spread the robes a little while looking at the mirror, skin crazy sensible, nipples all hard and cock wanting to lift— and his chest feeling full of butterflies. "Ugh...really Marston...? Really? You're that love deprived? That pathetic?" He grunted a little. Grumpy looked at John and rolled its eyes, letting out a loooong judging sound.
"What?? I know what you did to that big tomato plush. You didn't even ask her if you could take it, did you?" He sighed, looking down at himself and frowning and pouting a little in disaproval, then closed the robes, climbed the bed on his side, questioning if sleeping by her side was already something twisted and perverted. The nightmares though...they stopped for good when she was close and he was getting addicted to sleeping well.
He got comfy and closed his eyes, and almost napping, he woke up feeling the pressure of his body against his, and her voice, so pretty and calming like usual. "I did bad things. That alone pretty much justifies it." He knew it was a lot more than that, but it was not wrong. "It's also about being afraid and...not knowing what I can do or what I did in the past." He could feel his cheeks warmer as she curled next to him.
Ruth yawned, her hands holding onto his arm as she pressed her cheek to his shoulder. If she wasn't so tired, she would have decided then that she never wanted to give this up. Having someone to sleep next to, someone who wouldn't hurt her but swore to protect her, it felt good. He was particularly warm, hot even. So much so that Ruth regretted wearing the warm pjs and wished she would have worn thin ones. She pulled at her own robe, trying to wiggle out of it because of the heat.
"I guess that makes sense," she said sleepily. "But even then... You're plenty nice to me. So... nice and... gentle..." Yawns kept interrupting her words as her mind started to fall asleep. Since she was falling into unconsciousness, she couldn't quite remember if she was really speaking or if this was a dream. "And...warm... and handsome and... warm–" Her voice fell off as her limbs relaxed against him. Her breathing evened out as she curled into his warmth.
Her dreams started to resemble the ones she'd had before. Memories that weren't hers, not as violent or sad as other ones, but a lonely dark apartment which slowly bled into a hot and desperate scene of John again. His voice rang in her ears, that uneven gravely sound, somewhere between being high and low. It must have been from sleeping close and all that heat, because even in her sleep Ruth was growing extremely warm. Her body shivered against John's as her cheeks and ears and a splotchy place on her chest slowly turned pink. But instead of pulling away, Ruth pressed herself closer as if it would help. It was like she could feel the anxitey in his body and wanted to get it out any way she could. Even if it was just in a dream...
The way she grabbed his arm, like that would make sure he wouldn't fade away, it made him feel so important. He was a stranger and she chose to curl there, against him. A safe spot. Honestly though, he knew they weren't strangers anymore. Friends. That felt nice. It made his lips smile softly, made his chest feel lighter. "Mnm." He hummed as she spoke, her voice sounding so sleepy and so cute- until she said handsome and his eyes widened in surprise.
What? Handsome? Him? Had she missed the scars in his face? The dark rings under his eyes that seemed permanent by now. Handsome? He smiled a little in a mix of ego and disbelief. She sure had an odd taste in men. The way she wiggled out of her robe though, pressing herself against him- he felt it should be a crime if she wasn't so damn adorable. The urge to keep her safe was crazy, the urge to comfort her, to suddenly maybe build a whole lifetime with her- and where did the last one come from??
As she curled closer against John, he made sure to try and keep his cock hidden between his legs, away from her. He could feel his thighs brush against the soft sheets, which was lovely, but maybe he should have considered wearing something instead of just those robes. But then what's the point? She had given it to him, if he was to wear pajamas then why to even wear it? The damn was amazingly comfy that was the main point, being naked under it after a shower felt like heaven. But now...he could feel himself leaking transparent liquid between his thighs, tensing them together or touching his knees was useless- his cheeks were blushing in shame as he failed to hold the wetness, and since he was failing it, why not realize how her breasts had wiggled when she did, how they were perfect, how he could see their outline under her pajamas, how they felt warm against him, how he felt the tip of her nibble brush against his bare chest at some point when she moved? And that long perfect hair, so soft and it always seemed to smell so good.
"Handsome my ass..." He pouted a little, trying to push the whole idea away (and failing)- damn, he had to admit it, sleeping like that hugging her felt like heaven. Heaven. The moment he allowed himself to try and relax to sleep, he felt he got the sheet down there all wet- he considered getting rid of that, but moving from there would wake her up, which would be a crime. He just cupped himself, giving his tip gentle strokes with his thumb, relaxing himself to sleep while keeping it covered with his hand to be more careful- which was all in vain the moment he felll asleep and moved anyway.
He was dreaming again, and it wasn't the usual horrendous nightmare. It was just his flat and the lonelyness of it. And Ruth was there. That made him feel so happy, so happy. She was there in his world now. He'd run to her the moment he saw her, he was just a kid again, and he'd crash against her hugging so tight in such a clumsy way, nuzzling so much against her stomach- and that urge to cry as if he had been found after so long. He wanted to ask her to go play with him, but he really didn't know how- so he kept hugging her tight, his 6 year olf self, maybe a bit older, he was such a thin small child for so long- he'd look up at her and smile, like the dream was a safe spot to show all he felt without any restrictions, no need to act tough or serious, he could just hug her smile so happily.
Her hug was draining away all the agony and anxiety that used to haunt his heart. His child self would grip Ruth's shirt in the dream, point at how that dark flat had parts of it that were starting to look different, the kitchen had become something more like her kitchen, and it was covered in warm light and a cozy feeling, he'd pull her gently, but with so much energy to show how some parts of the flat had changed, and then he'd attack hug her again, his long black hair getting messy from nuzzing her so much, his little arms tight around her- that kid looked so happy she was there, like he had been trapped in that place for ages.
Ruth kept dreaming that John was a kid. Not her kid necessarily, but one she needed to look after and protect. He'd run to her and hug her. She'd keep him safe from all the things that tried to harm him. Maybe that was why she was able to like him so much, Ruth saw past everything he was and saw to the child he had been. The one with no friends or family, the one who had needed kindness but was never shown any. So Ruth hugged the child tightly, vowing she would find a way to always keep him safe.
It was still dark when she woke up. The room was peaceful, but a strange feeling tugged at her chest. She chalked it up to being anxious about her family. Not wanting to wake John, Ruth pulled away very slowly. He needed to sleep still. He looked so peaceful when he slept, almost like the kid she'd seen in her dreams. Giving a small smile, she placed a kiss on John's forehead, a signal that he could keep resting and she'd watch out for him.
Nodding for Grumpy to come with her, Ruth grabbed her robe and headed quietly downstairs to just enjoy the silence of the morning. She slipped on her mud boots, opening the door to let the dog out while she went to search for eggs. The air felt thin. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. There was no threat around at all, leaving Ruth to brush off the feeling. She kept getting distracted by her dream, by how much John needed someone to look after him. He was older than her, but was it wrong to want to fill that role? After she finished gathering eggs, Ruth started back toward the house. Realizing she hadn't seen the dog, she turned to call for him.
"Grumpy!" There was no reply. That was odd. Frowning, Ruth placed the basket of eggs by the door and walked back out toward the yard. "Grumpy? Come here, boy–"
A figure in the grass made her stop. Panic shot through her. Racing to the dog, Ruth felt her eyes well with tears. He didn't look hurt, but he was whining pained breaths. "Grumpy? Oh my gosh..." There was no sign of another animal or a monster. So what had happened? Ruth was about to stand and run for John when something hit the back of her neck. It felt like a bug bite.
"Ow..." Ruth picked at the spot, seeing a small pellet. "What the–" Her vision started to get dizzy and her knees contacted the ground. Something grabbed her. It was strong like John, but not warm like him. Her mind screamed at her to fight, but her limbs wouldn't move. "Wait–" she protested weakly. She was moving. What about Grumpy? What about her parents? John? It felt hard to breathe. Her body hit something metalic and hard. She grunted, trying to blink away the dizziness. "Stop–" Her vision was faiding. The soft cries of the dog filled the space as a thud resounded next to her. Ruth tried to crawl toward the remaining blurr of light. "Please!"
It was gone as she collapsed again. "John," she whispered, as if calling out to him. She was supposed to keep him safe today. "John..." Her consciousness faded as the attackers dissappeared, leaving the small homestead in a quiet peace which hid the fact that the soul of the place had been taken from it.
The dream seemed so real. Her hugs, her scent, the warmth, and he made him feel so safe. For some reason he couldn't speak in the dream, so he tried to show her around, the apartment, a reflection of his mind and heart, he wanted her to see how she was changing it all to the better. It was childish and pure, but she felt like family, regardless everything else, her house felt more home than his own apartment he lived for years.
When she woke up and stood, the dream started to darken. Ruth was walking away, the boy started to walk and then run after her, trying to say it was dangerous to be far from each other, but no words could come out- There was this huge darkness in this long corridor Ruth was walking away, the boy became all dark, mixed with shadows, the shadows formed tentacles trying to reach for Ruth but she was gone. The boy ran to hid own room, trying to wake up his adult self, but it wouldn't work, and like that, without Ruth, the dream faded.
John's arms and hands moved a little, searching for her, ready to wake, but then she kissed his forehead and he melted and continued to sleep.
Grumpy was awake and alert the moment she was ready to step out of the room, and he followed her around during the whole time. He was prepared to face the creatures, but he'd never expect or be ready to fight anyone from the force- any of the team would approach him, and the dog would start wagging his tail.
The pain and the dizzyness hit the animal too hard, he couldn't bark, his throat was tense and all he could do was cry- he knew he was failing and he didn't know why that was happening.
It was around an hour after that when John woke up. No smell of coffee, no sounds. Weird. He sat up, looked around. No Grumpy, no Ruth. He quickly stood up and rushed down the stairs, gun already in hand. "RUTH?" He'd stop, pause, look around, run to another part of the house. "RUTH? WHERE DID YOU GO?" Only his voice echoed, sadness started to fill his chest, he knew something was wrong. Very wrong. "GRUMPY, WHERE ARE YOU, BOY?"
....
The more he wandered around the property, the more sure he was Ruth and Grumpy were gone. The car was there, the basket with eggs....something had taken them. "I thought them things used to attack during the night..." His voice was so weak and shaky, like he was about to cry. He entered the vehicle, drove around the property, checked the roads nearby, the shops, the market- the placed hadn't even opened yet...she definitely wasn't there.
He had no choice to come back to the property, going to his room, grabbing his phone and the scanner, he called the team right away while searching the farm with the other device, looking for signs of the creatures, particles, anything, and there was nothing. Even where they had killed the goat creature, it was all normal now. "I've lost her. She's gone. They took Grumpy too. Mark? I...I'm heading back to town. She's gone. Ruth MacAdams is gone. I don't know how they got her. But they did."
When he lowered the phone, sitting on the bed, he looked down, shoulders fell, eyes flooded with tears and they came down- there was no one to hide them from. The house was empty. Empty. His chest felt empty and heavy. It was all over. Moments ago she was right against his chest...and he could hear Grumpy's little snores from time to time. Now...gone.
His heart was still racing, the robes he hadn't even changed from yet were falling down from his shoulders- he just covered his face, rubbed it it with both his hands, depressed sobs and honest tears, his eyes were red. The memories of the breakfast smell, her soft steps around the house, her voice humming, her shy figure looking at him and smiling- gone. Probably dragged into somewhere under the earth to be eaten and absorbed by those monsters, her throat probably was already destroyed with those tumors coming out from her guts. He sobbed and cried so hard his chest was aching, and when he finally stopped, he presed his gun against his temple, trying to gather the strength to end all that- a world without her....was really worth it? After seeing light and feeling that warmth, how was he supposed to go back to that cold darkness?
He almost pressed the trigger, but seeing the pretty curtains and still feeling her scent in the sheets, he refused to stain that place with disgrace. It was a home without soul, but better keep it empty rather than make it cursed and haunted with his suffering soul.
He lowered the gun, got dressed and ready to drive back to the central in Blackwater. After the report, after he was sure they had no clue where she was, when he decided there was nothing else he could do to bring her back or end whatever suffering creature she possibly had become, then he would sit in his apartment and blow his brains out. Until then, he'd see what he could do.
The man smoked, took his pills and drove back to Blackwater, the town still dark and rainy and depressing as usual. He parked at the usual spot, walking into the agency, defeat and depression written on his face, no one even dared to ask what was wrong. Once back to the force's floor, he told them what happened, asked if they had any clues.
He barely had any hope though. The world...being nice...- it had to be some lie. It had been too good to be true. Of course it wouldn't have lasted.
The entire station knew never to bother John Marston. He was a decent fellow, but they had all seen his bad side, and none of them wanted to be on it. They cast pittying glamces at him when he stromed through the station, it was always hard to fail a mission, especially one so important to the force. That girl could have been such a help... 'I'm sorry, Marston,' his commanding officer said. 'I can give you reports of activity, but we can't spare anyone to really look. Even if she was a Sensitive, we're already stretched thin as it is.' The man handed John a few reports of sightings in the city limits, but even those seemed too far to have been anywhere close to Ruth's home.
With aching, sleepy limbs and a raging headache, Ruth blinked her eyes open to harsh medical lighting. The room looked almost like a cell. It was just the bed in the corner, a small table in the middle and mirror which she assumed was double sided. Her pjs did nothing to keep the cold out. Ruth rubbed her eyes, shivering. It wasn't long before the door clicked with a heavy thud and was pushed open. A man entered, looking sort of like John had the first time she met him. Tired looking, but much less kind than John, tall with set features and annoyed eyes... Ruth could pratically feel his irritation. It made her want to shrink away.
'Do you know where you are, Miss McAdams?' He asked in a monotonous drawl. Ruth shook her head. "No..." The man just looked at the folder he was holding. 'Do you know you have a... special intuition... which is in heavy demand?' The girl froze. They must be the police... or the government... whoever John really worked for. But why kidnap her? Why not just ask or tell John to bring her in? Ruth's mind raced. She knew this was exactly what the agent had been trying to protect her from. "I do," she responded, folding her arms around herself to keep warm. "Is asking nicely against official policy?"
The man looked up to frown at her. Ruth was terrified. She didn't know how to use her sensibilities at all, or if she could even control them. She wasn't strong or brave and she didn't know the first thing about fighting monsters. John was out there somewhere... probably freaking out and all alone. Alone. Grumpy. If anything, Ruth started to fear for the dog's life more than her own for a minute. It was a strange feeling to hold all the power... Well, she didn't really, but if they wanted her to cooperate, maybe she could get something from them. It seemed sneaky and devious, Ruth was not accustomed to barging, but she had to try. For John's sake.
"Where's Grumpy?" She asked. The agent raised an eyebrow. 'Who?' "The dog.' The man huffed. 'Oh. He's fine. But I wouldn't worry too much about a mutt–'
Ruth stood. Her legs shook and her heart was beating fast. "I know what you want," she interrupted. "I'll cooperate. But only if I can have the dog. He... he helps me focus." Ruth was lying through her teeth. And she was a terrible liar. But she had no choice. God help her, she didn't know any other way to survive whatever this was.
The agent stared at her for a long minute. He turned to leave the room, returning an hour later with the dog. He was muzzled and looked terrified, the poor thing. Ruth bent quickly, embracing Grumpy with a hug. It relaxed her, having something warm and friendly nearby. 'Don't get too comfortable,' the agent stated as he moved back to the door. 'We're going to need you soon.' The door shut heavily and Ruth felt a wave of dread sweep over her as she scratched behind Grumpy's ears.
"It's okay boy," she soothed, frowing at the lock on his muzzle. "At least we're together..."
The entire station was being fooled by a small team of traitors inside the agency. John didn't react at the comment of his colleagues, he was too numb for that. His eyes weee vacant and all felt like a dream, a dream that felt too familiar- being alone, that dark town, loss....
"My dog. Any sign? The tracker...anything?" The young woman with long brown hair and worried eyes shook her head. 'The dog's collar isn't transmitting any signal. Must have been destroyed. Whatever attacked her must have gotten Grumpy too. I'm sorry John....we have no idea how...- He sighed. 'How she just vanished."
There was silence between them ane the team.
'It was indeed odd in plain light like that. We already sent a team to invetigate. No trace of her so far.' John nodded accepting the reports assigned to him. "I'll go search. If there's a chance then I have no time to waste." He rubbed his eye, took a deep breath, a long smiff, the determined expression on his face.
Marston left right away to the first location on the map, driving with his equipment, didn't even wait for another dog to be assigned to him. And to the second location, and then the third....he found nothing, chose to return to the station since it waa getting dark and way more rainy, hoping he could close those reports and maybe find a lead about Ruth.
Meanwhile, Grumpy was so happy to see Rurh, he sniffed her seeking for any sign of John, wanted to lick her but couldn't because of the muzzle, which was making him lower his head and scratch it trying to remove, whining. When Ruth hugged him, it was when the dog started to cry, shake, seek comfort it was used to give. Why were the people he knew doing that? Why had them locked him in some cage? Where was John? Grumpy curled against Ruth like a teddy bear, trying to comfort her but also needing so much comfort
"Fucking nothing, Mark. I went to the damn three locations, nothing. Not a body, not some creature, no fucking shit. All I heard was weird stories from the locals and nothing more. Do you have any more leads I can check? Ruth could be anywhere, right?"
Hs was smoking and used to refer to her with Rurh's first name. It was clear he cared. So clear. He had never been so determined to solve a case.
'We haven't found a body... or remains... That should be something of a good sign...' Mark knew it wasn't. The longer she was gone, the less chance they had to find her. And those monsters, they did awful things to people. She could be one of them for all they knew. There was little he could do to reassure his partner. 'C'mon,' he urged John as he nodded toward the door. 'You won't find her like this. You gotta relax. Let's hit a club or something. Blow off some steam, it'll be good for ya.'
Ruth had been sitting alone for a while. No one had come in to see her, or feed her, or anything really. She was tired and hungry and cold, although a little less so with Grumpy's warm fur curled against her. She kept her fingers in his fur, petting and scratching as a way to keep both of them calm. She thought long and hard about John, wondering if he was searching or if he thought she was dead.
A new anxious feeling settled in her chest... it didn't belong to her. Ruth's eyes darted around the room as her mind spun. If she was sensitive to those things, what was stopping her from being sensitive to normal people? After all, she had been feeling things John felt already, but only when he was near by. Was he close? She wondered just how far away he was. She'd always been able to feel what others felt, but maybe there was a way she could make other people feel back... A sort of communication. That had sort of happened with that goat creature. She had asked of it and it answered. And if John had been exposed so much... if he was something of a senstivie at all, maybe she could get through to him. Glancing at Grumpy, Ruth gave a tired sigh.
"I suppose it's worth a try," she muttered.
It felt sort of stupid.... and a little bit like praying. Ruth closed her eyes tightly, trying to think as much as she could about John. How close he could be, how upset he probably was, how they had seemed almost bound together by destiny those nights when she slept close to him. "John," she whispered, knowing he wouldn't hear her. She prayed he could at least know she wasn't dead. That he just needed to look harder. "John, where are you?"
When Ruth offered her hand started to pet Grumpy, the animal immediately melted into her touches, understanding she was one of the good people, his tail wagging so much, the little jumps he would give as she scratched behind his ears, and it just stayed there, enjoying all the pets, and when she paused, he'd stand, pressing both his paws against her chest, sniffing her all over, letting out happy little cries.
"Huh. He likes you. That's....that's actually rare. Normally he's grumpy to people and people are grumpy back or just scared because of his size.
The dog had a lot of soft skin to be pet because of its age, and it seemed to be a very calm animal.
The thunders started to hit loudly again, the power oscillating, as if the typhoon was trying to catch up.
"Thanks for helping." John said once he locked the door and went downstairs, Grumpy jumping onto the backseat and curling on his place, already preparing to take a nap. Traveling made it sleepy.
"Hey...you'll be home in no time, alright?" If he wasn't used to be acting rough, maybe he'd be saying a lot more, offering a hug or apologizing about everything, but it was his job and he needed to keep her safe.
The storm was quite violent as they left town. The power oscillating outside, some trees had fallen, some lower areas were flooding. The amount of water that started falling from the sky was formidable to say the least. Gladly John's driving was good, the truck was robust and they weren't having any problems. Because of how late it was, the streets were mostly empty, and one they got to the suburban area, he felt like he was in one of those liminal spaces, the sky so dark, absolute silence but the sound of the car engine, the lights outside limited to each house, all the rest, the fields, the distance, all seemed so pitch black.
John even shivered at some point, it was getting so cold. He looked to the side to see Ruth, she seemed so...she seemed so sick. Exhausted. He felt bad for her. The address, he didn't even need a GPS, until they were close to Cholla Springs. Gently he poked her shoulder. "Hey, we're almost there. Cheer up a little...." He tried, but he was a bit tired too.
Once he parked by her little ranch like property, he also let a sigh of relief. "If anyone asks....remember to say what we talked. That some maniac was stalking you....destroyed your car...I'm keeping you safe for a few days, alright?" He wasn't aware she was totally alone. He imagined at least a parent, sibling or boyfriend would be around, but...the place seemed so damn quiet.
"Come on, let's wake up, boy, we arrived."
Grumpy started wagging its tail and looking around, jumping off the car as soon as John opened the door, the animal froze when it felt the fresh breeze of the fields, of countryside.
'Awoooofff wooof wooffff wofff wuuuuuff wufff wuffff!' It started to hop in circles as John tried to remove the leash. "Easy boy...I'm trying to take this off...." Once John did, the dog bolted towards the house, jumping and rolling on the green grass, resting on its back and wiggling its paws up.
"Huh. I've never seen this big boy so energetic. I guess being here for a while will do him good" He smirked at little as he took his things from the car, rushing inside following Ruth. The rain had taken a short break before it started hitting hard again. John waited before walking in. "Where is everyone?" He asked, finding everything too silent.
"Grumpy, come boy, or you'll get all wet." Marston took a towel from his bag, crouched down to dry the animal, it seemed so happy, it made John chuckle. "Give them paws....let's dry your feet....good boy..."
"Miss...thanks for accepting me here, even if...." He sighed. "Well, even if there wasn't much of a better option. I'll explain everything tomorrow when you're well rested..."
Where did she go?
"Alright...I'll take the room upstairs then. Thank you. Could I maybe take a shower?" The dark rings under his eyes seemed larger, driving amidst that storm, the damn typhoon, which was threatening to get worse made him extra tired. "Can Grumpy sleep inside?"
Where was she? He was holding a pistol, ready to give it to her, but....where?
"Maybe tomorrow then....I guess everyone's tired."
He saw the bunny in the kitchen, it seemed so angry for some reason. "Hey little feller."
Marston didn't know if Ruth would allow his dog upstairs, so he took Grumpy's bed and placed near the bunny, by the small pen in the kitchen. "Behave, boy. Don't mess anything up, we're guests." The huge scary german shepherd curled down and started to whine though, crying to John, giving the puppy eyes. 'Abueh bueh bueh bueh bueh....' He sighed. "It's her house...and...just tonight..."
The dog rolled on his back and started to move its paws in the air as if it was dying. "Oh no need for drama...come on. Come on. You ain't alone, there's the bunny there." Grumpy paused and looked at Dinner. The little bunny looked like a fur ball of pure rage. Grumpy looked back at John, cried and jumped up to curl on his lap, Marston had to catch him.
"You're afraid of it?? Oh...why?? Well....it does look angry....alright...I'm taking you to my room with me...but no noise, no mess, alright? You already peed outside, right? Not wet cocks staining the floor, alright? It's a lady's house." He kept drying the animal with the towel, in more detail now since it was coming inside. "Your chest is all wet...play in the grass tomorrow, okay?" Grumpy rested his head on John's shoulder and closed its eyes to rest, loving the caresses of the towel. "You're such a big baby. You're getting heavy." John carried the animal and its bed upstairs, and he had no idea which room was his.
He set down the dog bed on the corridor and gently placed Grumpy on it. "Just a minute, boy."
John had left his boots by the porch, stepping silently to inspect if that was the right room, and the moment he looked, his lips parted as he saw the lady, naked on her bed, spread on soft sheets- he froze. The memory of what he had seen at the scanner room, and now again, that perfect body, and she seemed so relaxed. Her thighs and delicate legs, her ribs and that soft skin, those perfect breasts and that golden hair. He blushed, even stopped breathing for a while, eyes locked on her, feeling guilty each second he admired her, her perfect bottom, she seemed like a holy statue and he hadn't felt so horny in such a long time. "Mnm." He gave an awkward nod and stepped back and out of her room, cheeks and ears warm and red, he silently made his way to his own room. "Oh boy....she must be so tight." He panted and shook his head as he opened the other room, carrying his things inside, Grumpy grunting a little a John's comment, as if judging his owner. "Ah don't you start, I know what you do to the Santa Klaus plushie." The dog looked offended as it followed John carrying his little bed with his mouth.
Once his things were in the room, he felt sleep hit him, but he needed a shower. He was smelling precinct and that molded big city. Smelling like Blackwater, and that town, it was...different, he felt a shower there would make him feel pure and clean, like countryside.
He went to to shower, turned on the water, relaxed finally, the only tension left in him was the one seeing her all nude caused. Oh how he wanted to have that woman, he knew thoughts like that were his entrance ticket to hell, but....the thought of she asking for it...and him having her sweetly on that bed of hers....ughh....he closed his eyes and kept imagining it as he washed himself and relieved that tension.
Once he was done and had dried himself, he also felt the last of his energy gone when he got close to his bed. His bare feet against the wooden floor felt right and relaxing, he also sunk into his bed, didn't even pull the sheets, he just rested on top of them, his dark hair spread on the pillow- Grumpy was sleeping on his little dog one when he checked, but didn't take long until he felt the animal jumping onto it, resting by his side. Since John looked so peaceful and so tired, the dog respected his space this time. The rain outside, the wooden noises caused by the wind, it was all so relaxing. Didn't take long for him to hug a pillow, dreaming about her, her lips, those breasts, that perfect spot between her thigh and her sides. "Dang....why did she have to look so.....so perfect like that, Grumpy...." The hot water that relaxed him for good, he was so calm and sleepy he even seemed to be drugged. "I'll wake up hard like hell for sure....mnmhg...she's so perfect..."
The dog grunted at John, judging him again, wanting to sleep. "Alright....I'll shut up....just...this pillow is mine...."
He blacked out, had very sweet dreams, and for the first time in years, he didn't have a nightmare. He just...loss track of everything, he just slept. Slept for so many hours.
His phone vibrated a couple of hours later, but he didn't even notice. If not shaken, he probably would sleep until noon, it had been the best sleep ever, breathing in and out, using the pillows as cover, he even forgot who he was or where he was.
@girllock-writes
Ruth had smiled at Grumpy. She thought it was funny that John called him her husband... obviously, Grumpy was a dog, but Ruth thought that she wouldn't mind a man like that. Capible, but also so willing to show affection. Her fingers brushed his fur, scratching behind his ears. She felt safe, slottwed between the agent and his dog. Like nothing in the world could get to her.
She listened quietly when John spoke, feeling the heavy sort of energy his words carried. All that pain and numbess, it would drive her crazy. He'd been through so much. It was a crude story to hear, but Ruth just kept herself next to him, wishing that she could do anything to make him forget that pain. He was supposed to be safe in her house, safe from the memories and trauma of his past. He was free to speak of them, but Ruth prayed they wouldn't haunt him here. Though his past was sad, part of her found it slightly impressive that he had survived so much. John was a man of great skill and Ruth knew that was something to be admired. The scars didn't look like wounds to her, but more like trophies... the world had tried to destroy him but he had survived and told it to go fuck itself.
Her eyes returned to him when he commanded her to answer. She really realllly didn't want to. There was a coldness to his voice, one she hadn't heard since she'd met him. Her eyes blinked up at him, knowing she should listen but also just as scared of answering as she was of not. Ruth wasn't particularly scared of John, but her heart skipped a few beats, thinking of all the things he could do to her. He was a killer. He was all those terrible things he'd listed. And she saw past that. Ruth couldn't see him as simply those flaws, but it would be foolish to ignore them. Her hesitation wasn't necessarily one of anxiety, but of introspection. She thought for a moment that if he was a worse man, their dynamic would be very different.
Picking up the phone, Ruth felt a little like a scolded puppy. "Hey," she answered, sitting back a bit as a new dread filled her stomach. 'Sweetie!' The woman's voice rang over the line. 'I decided that I didn't want to wait to visit and I'm coming tomorrow. Isn't that wonderful!' Ruth cringed. She had completely forgotten... her mother had wanted to visit. Tomorrow she was supposed to have lunch with her father. And how was she going to explain John? "Nows not such a great time, mom," she tried to explain as she stood to pace. Ruth always paced when she was on the phone. "It's very busy and–" 'Oh, you worry too much! Besides, it's not like you ever have guests.' Ruth flinched, glancing at John. "Actually... I do. Right now... Something happened in town and the police..." 'Well, the more the merrier,' the older woman said, as if she hadn't heard a word of Ruth's story. 'I'll drop in about dinner tomorrow. Then we can go into Blackwater on Monday for shopping.' "But I have work and–" 'See you tomorrow, sweetie!' The line clicked shut. Ruth had to hold back a frustrated sigh. Not only was she hiding from monsters, she had to deal with domestic issues too. Slumping back onto the couch, Ruth pulled her legs to her chest, wondering what she was going to do about the mess she was in.
"I'm aware you may have family issues, but we don't want them thinking you got kidnapped and alerting the local police. Johnson was already out of script, specially the part in which he showed up in my room to threaten me while my butt was out like God made it. Don't forget the cops think you were threatened by some maniac. There are levels of top secret above top secret, and for a reason. Keep things simple. We don't want you stepping in Blackwater anytime soon, so I won't let your mother take you." He sighed, scratched the back of his head, hating himself for causing so much tension. He knew it was her mom's fault in a way, but he knew he had to keep things in control.
Grumpy was already wandering around the house since she stood up to pace, and John's clothes were a bit wrinkled due to Ruth resting against him. And that had made him fee all sensible, physcally. Any soft brushing against his skin felt like heaven. "You'll get paid fondly for cooperating, if that helps you stay motivated and see all this in a more positive way. You don't need to stress too much, despite all the problems. If my heart stops, they'll know because of my watch, and a whole team will come to make sure you're safe. Also, I can't harm you in any way. I'm here to keep you safe and well. And honestly, I just wanna help you."
He sighed, feeling bad for her, for the whole situation. He was getting attached, he knew. Attached and attracted. John could feel her scent all over him. Making him feel very strong things, imagine things, have those warm shivers. "Your mom seems like something else." He joked. Seeing her curling on the couch holding her knees just reminded him how young she was, and how stressed her life felt. "Hey, don't be like that...you'll be fine. I can get rid of your mom if you'd like. Just kiddng. Come on...cheer up." He poked her shoulder a little, eyes patient, he really cared. "Sorry, bad joke. I could have her win some cruiser offer though, so she spends a month away to give you some peace." He smirked playfully. "Come on, what things you want the most? Focus on the good things. It's what they told me to say in the motivational course."
Ruth glanced at John. She was grateful for him and for the protection, but it still felt confusing and new... After all it had only been a couple days. "I know," she said quietly, understanding just how important it was to keep the act up. "And thanks... She's... well, she's my mother and I love her, but after she left my dad... I swear she's gone a little off the rails." Ruth sighed before sitting up a little straighter.
"She's going to want my room... I always move to the guest room for her. But that's your space." Ruth gave a small huff, thinking of a hundred things she should tell the man to prepare him. "She's pushy sometimes. Doesn't ever take no for an answer and–" Ruth groaned, feeling a sense of dread. And maybe jealousy at the thought. "And she will try to flirt with you. I get that her relationship with dad wasn't good but it can get... intense." Ruth hated the idea of her mom trying to come on to John. He was hers... sort of. Not in a romantic sense, maybe. Even if she sometimes wished. But that was silly. If anything, he was her friend, and he was technically here for work. Not play. Even so, he'd been assigned to her. Just her. Ruth knew it was sort of selfish and stupid to be jealous over that. Had he not already rejected the advances of that girl in the parking lot? Rith wondered if men cared about that sort of thing... women being jealous. Not that she had a right to be.
Really looking at him now, Ruth gave a sad sort of smile. "I don't need money, John. I don't really want it. I know it's important... and I want to help... but it's like you said. What if I can't? What if I made it worse?"
She allowed herself a small laugh at his joke. "Don't offer. It's too tempting." She stood again, moving toward the kitchen for the food. She returned a few minutes later with plates and glasses, setting them on the table before getting the pizza. It probably should have cooled a little longer, but Ruth could tell John was hungry. She sat back down next to him, trying to enjoy a last night of peace. Monsters were scary, sure. But so was her mother sometimes.
John blinked a few times, paying attention to Ruth's words. Whenever she actually spoke, not the usual short answers or glares, the actual times she talked, it always felt so meaningful and important. "It's your house. I can sleep in the car if you need. Or in the living room." He really wouldn't mind if he had to. As long as he was close to the house to stop some attack.
"She'd what? Hit on me? But she doesn't even know me. Don't this small town have any men?" He chuckled, and he was actually slowly getting surprised that Ruth seemed so serious about it, angry or annoyed apparently. She'd look as angry and Dinner, it was too cute.
"Well, I guess your mother will have to learn how to accept no's. Cause I doubt she's more stubborn than me." He ran hhis fingers through his hair, adjusting it, it was already getting longer— like just being there eating her food and sleeping well was already making him healthier— his grayish eyes starting to show some brown.
"You don't need money? You're the first person to ever tell me that. Everyone needs. Even if you're selfless, you need money to help others. You need a new car to get your work done." He was impressed, but not very happy about it. Things would have been easier if she just accepted some price. But...that also made her even more special. The agent in him was upset at his work becoming a bit more difficult, but John....he was actually happy she was like that.
"No, Ruth. I didn't say I'd pay you to join the operation team. I said I'd pay you to do as I say." He sighed, rubbing his brow. "I already said I don't want you to join. You'd suffer and I don't want you to suffer. You're a good woman. Too good for this world." He said while staring the void, looking down, the agent at him sighing at his own defeat for getting too attached to her.
And then she laughed at his bad jokes, making him smile. He followed her with his eyes as Ruth walked to the kitchen to get the pizza out of the oven onto the table, his stomach growled loudly, but his eyes kept following her again, and she sat close to him again— that made his eyes go soft and sweet— he was melting more every time Ruth interacted with him. And again, he bit his lips, wondering if she was approaching only because he was afraid to be alone.
The young woman thought about John's words. 'I'd pay you to do as I say.' They were a bit odd to her. Even if it was to protect her, he must have some other reason, wouldn't he? Ruth wondered again what the point of all this was. She understood what was happening, she just didn't know why. Part of her wondered if John even fully knew why. The rest of the daylight seemed to drag on slowly. Ruth found herself not wanting to move from John's side. Even when she wanted to go shower and get into her pjs, staying next to him sounded nicer.
Maybe she was afraid of being alone... she hadn't really been before. But then again, if she had a choice of getting close to someone to fill that lonely void, John didn't seem like the ideal person. Or perhaps he was since he was the only one around. Ruth really wasn't friends with many people her own age, and even though John was a bit older, he was much closer to her in that respect than anyone else.
As of now, she was only really afraid of the pressures of the coming day. She had closed her eyes as she leaned against John, feeling sleep pull at her. Sliding away from him a little, Ruth layed down, her head resting on his leg as she maneuverd her legs behind where Grumpy was sitting on the other cushion. It was like John was her pillow and Grumpy was her blanket. She sighed, her eyes still heavy even though she wasn't very tired.
"What if we just went away again. Far from here... I know you said it would be suspicious, but I... I just want to be alone with you. It's quiet and safe... It's– Well, it's nice."
John ate the pizza she made him like his life depended on it. Absolutely delicious, better than any pizza he had ordered, better than anything he had eaten in Blackwater. He ate until his stomach was full, and if he was alone, he'd sleep right there, wake up, eat more and then go back to sleep. "So good....no wonder food stuff literally is your job." He cleaned his plate, every time. Ate his pizza and whatever was left of Ruth's, the parts she didn't eat. Even the dough alone was soft and so tasty, and all so warm. "I'll definitely get fat if I stay here." He chuckled, giving her a soft smile. "Thank you. For real. These past few days, I feel like I'm in some luxury five star inn fifty years in the past. And I ain't even that old."
John noticed she was awfully quiet. He wondered if it had been something he said, or if she was just anxious for the next day. Grumpy was definitely poking Ruth around more often, bumping his head against her leg, acting cuddly, wanting to cheer her up, looking up at her and wagging his tail slowly, as if to tell the young woman everything was okay, that he was happy to be there with her. Seeing the dog follow her around the house the whole afternoon pretty much told him she needed emotional support, and he was glad Grumpy was good at that, because John knew he was awful about it.
When he was almost napping on the couch, he felt the pressure of her body against him. He kept his eyes closed, relaxed. She was just lonely, he'd just let her rest. She needed human contact, well, people needed, and she was so lonely and he was the only person there. Grumpy made sure to cuddle her all the time, giving her small licks from time to time, pressing its cold nose against her skin.
Watching movies, digesting food and feeling Ruth napping practically on his lap, that was something he didn't know he needed. It was hard to not feel protective, the urge to pet her hair was big, but he resisted it. Approaching too much and getting intimate would be a problem, wouldn't it? He just rested his arm on her protectively.
"What? Run away?" His lips moved into a sad smile. "We shouldn't. It would make the team lose trust in all this, it would make them want to bring us back." He sighed, and damn he understood so well, he also wanted to run away from all that. "Why me of all people though? What about your friends? Don't you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Or your family?" He couldn't understand she actually liked him, he believed that was happening because he was the only person around. "Considering Grumpy is a dog, technically, you are alone with me." Grumpy groaned, pressed its face against Ruth's back. "Why it's nice being with me? All I've done so far was order you around, eat your food, sleep on your bed, invade your space. I know I ain't awful but...you sure you're just not...too lonely?"
Ruth reached her hand back, scratching at Grumpy's fur. He was so calming to be around. She thought he really did make a good therapy dog. John's words hit her sort of hard. Maybe she was just lonely... but even so, she didn't ever want him to leave. Despite all the reasons why she shouldn't like him or why it didn't make sense, Ruth did. She felt bad, not knowing what she truly felt or why. All she knew was that right now, John meant more to her than most of the people she knew.
She gave a guilty sigh, but didn't move from her spot on his lap. "Maybe I am just lonely," she said quietly, her eyes staring at the television. "I don't know why it's nice... But it is. I don't mind the ordering. I like sharing my space, my things, my food. And you're the first person in a while who has made me feel like sharing was more than just a chore." She turned, staring up at him. Her eyes were sad. "Most of my friends are much older... They have lives, families and kids and grandkids, they are already fulfilled. I've got a few friends my age, but they're all gone off, pursuing dreams that don't involve me. No one's been interested in dating me in... well... ever. And my parents–" She paused with a sigh. "They love me, I know that. But being around them makes me feel even more lonely, like I'm destined to forever be a bridge between two things that should never touch."
Ruth found herself mindlessly petting Grumpy to keep her hands occupied. He was soft and sweet, much like she thought John was. "You're here to do your job. I know that. I guess, for the first time in a while, it finally feels like someone cares of their own accord, not just because they think they owe me something."
She turned her head back away, feeling as if she might cry if she kept looking at John. "I know it's a silly thing to think. And it's terrible of me to see you that way. It's unfair. I know I'm lonely... Maybe it's just because you are here... But you're my friend, or, at least, I hope you are. Is it wrong to like someone even if the circumstances force you together?" Ruth owed John her life multiple times over now. She knew the situation of their meeting was unorthodox, but she still cared about him.
"Would you still ask that if we had met a different way? A better one? Or... a less forced one?"
"No, it ain't wrong. Not at all. People meet each other in the most random ways. You're not...forced to like or dislike people because of the way you met them, people just...I'm not sure....they...react to people and...most times people simply hate or love based on circunstance and first impressions." The way she kept looking at him, she seemed to hold so much guilt and hesitation. Every word she said meant sonething, in the sense she had clearly thought a lot about it all.
Listening to how she ended up alone was sort of heartbreaking. It hadn't been something fast and violent like it had happened to himself, but slow, silent and indifferent. "Well, I'm old." He chuckled a bit. "Not like Johnson but...someone as young as you must see me like some old ugly guy who smells like cigarettes." He checked his pockets, didn't find the cigarette box, then looked at the little counter by the entrance and it was right there where he left. He hadn't smoked since he put it there so casually, and he hadn't even realized.
"Yes, I think you can say that I'm your friend. We stole chocolate, you made me a pie, gave me a very comfy room and let me sleep in your bed— you treat my senior dog well, you're nice to me and you're honestly a good person. We watch cartoons together I mean." It was a bunch of good things. And they slept close to each other holding hands, and they were almost...cuddling on the couch, like it was so natural.
That made him stop and think for a minute.
What was Ruth becoming to him? A daughter he never had? A person he had to protect? Sometimes maybe what a mom he also never had? A friend? Someone special? Someone he was attracted to?Maybe all those things together. "If we had met differently, in the sense....if you had more people around you? Or...if we had normal lives and just met each other while going to the bank or something? I....yeah I think I'd still ask. Not because you have some sort of problem, but because people normally don't like me. Since I was a kid I get those stares....like my presence is some sort of offense. Then I commited a lot of crimes and people who know....well, they hate me or fear me and those who don't know, well, they don't approach me much. Maybe because of my face, my tattoos, my awful mood, my smell of smoke. I don't look like someone very sociable. And I ain't. The world stepped on me when I needed help...when I was vulnerable, so why the heck I have to look nice to the world? If I'm feeling angry or tired or annoyed, I just show it. I thought you'd treat me like most people do but...but you're so nice. Too nice."
Because of her sad puppy eyes and the slow emotional voice, he decided to hold her. Just hold her protectivelly. Maybe what was left of his paternal instinct was hitting. He couldn't tell. "Sorry for asking that. I didn't mean to make you feel....wrong. You ain't. You're fine. You're okay." He sighed. "We being here...ain't so forced. I asked them that. I told you, they wanted to keep you there but...you were so anxious it was getting on my nerves, I couldn't just leave you like that. I thought being home near the people you know would be better for you. I knew the others would be afraid to come so I volunteered knowing they'd accept it."
He smiled a bit shyly, but so happilly. "Yeah, we're friends. I also had no one. Dealing with people also felt like chores. "I like being with you too. Damn, too much. Definitely more than I should like."
It seemed silly to Ruth that people would just be mean to him for no reason. She didn't understand why anyone would do that for any reason. Even if it was based on looks or vibes, both of those seemed pretty surface level. She didn't quite know how to understand 'too nice'. Was nice bad? Maybe not bad bad, but did it make her vulnerable? Ruth had never thought about it that way. She'd always been told to just be nice to people because it was right. Glad to hear they were friends, Ruth gave him a small smile. It made her heart beat a little faster when he said he did like her.
But more than he should? What did that mean? Ruth was glad the light was pretty dim, her ears were turning an embarrassed shade of pink.
"You don't have to feel sorry," she said, not knowing how else to address the other things he had said. "Really... What has happened has happened. There's not much we can do about what life throws at us, we can only face it with a willing spirit." Sitting up, Ruth rubbed her eyes sleepily.
"We shoukd head upstairs," she suggested. "Before we fall asleep on the couch again... My back was not a fan of that." Scratching at Grumpy's ears, she beckoned for the dog to follow as if her were her own. She almost forgot he wasn't. Picking up the dishes quickly, she left them in the sink, not wanting to deal with them at the moment. As she started to the stairs, she got a strange feeling. It was like that tug she felt when she'd seen that creature that morning. That something was calling for her and she just couldn't ignore it. Pushing the feeling down, Ruth climbed the steps, thinking once she got to bed with John, she should never leave.
John smiled a little when she did, when he said he was her friend. Indeed, he liked her. He just did. Despite the fact there were tons of reasons why, he couldn't point a finger at a single one. "You kinda give me hope in a way." A corner of his lips kept the smile that had formed as he looked down, a bit shyly, reserved, contemplating all of that. "The pizzas were delicious. I'm...very grateful." He muttered, thanking her from heart.
"Damn, you're right. I'm alrewdy starting to feel my eyes heavy. This house is damn peaceful. I didn't have to take any meds. I guess working outside and not having any nightmares worked like magic. Thanks for helping me regarding that." He stood, watching her as she took the plates to the sink. John took a plastic bag and started gathering the trash, the wrapping of the ingredients she used, the bottles they drank from, napkins. The kitchen was acceptable, they could clean it by the morning.
"I had forgotten how it was like to be all clean and well fed and wearing something so soft." John confessed, his voice and smile almost sad, even though he meant to say all that as something good. "I'd get home and just crash on the couch or bed, try to sleep and fail and then fill my ass with sleeping pills or drink until I fainted. At least I'd forget the nightmares. And right now...damn, I feel so light. Thanks to you." He followed her, watching how Grumpy listened to Ruth, sometimes even more than he listened to himself. Maybe after all that was over, if it was ever over, maybe Grumpy should retire and just live with her. He had never seen the dog so calm and happy. John playfully gave a soft slap on the tip of the animal's tail as he walked by, Grumpy turning and standing on its back paws to nuzzle against John's chest, almost undoing his robes, the man had to hold it and fix it. "You sweet giant. Big baby." He pinched the dog's cheeks playfully and scratched its neck and behind its ears. "You've been such a gentleman. I'm really proud." He kissed Grumpy's forehead, who leaped up to try and and kiss John back, but ended up headbutting him by accident, making the man let out an acute little scream. "Careful! You're strong, boy." He gave Grumpy more scratches and more kissed, the animal's tail wagging like he'd take flight. "To bed now, alright? Let's go. Behave, we're invading her room."
Every time John spoke about the differences between his old life and his new one here with her, Ruth felt the strings of her heart pull tightly. She was sad he ever had to live in such a way, but now... Now he was safe. He was home. If he could truly consider this his home. Ruth had originally thought he would hate the place, it might have been to soft for him. But seeing his relaxation and contentment made Ruth happy.
"You don't have to thank me," she said as she opened the door to her room. She giggled a little, watching Grumpy play with John a little. She didn't see their presence as an invasion. It it was, well, they could invade any time they wanted. Her life was feeling full again. Maybe tomorrow wouldn't be so bad... He father was usually alright, and having John around might make her mother seem less scary.
Ruth sat on the edge of her bed, letting her hair down and pulling her socks off before pausing. She probably shouldn't undress in front of him... Not that he would mind. Not that she would mind... But it felt a little insensitive. Grabbing up her pajamas and robe, Ruth headed for the door. "I'll be back in a minute." By the time she returned, she was ready to crawl into bed, covered in long cotton pjs and a fluffy bathrobe. She climbed into the bed, not hesitating to curl up next to John immediately. His warmth was something she was getting too used to.
"You're a good friend," she stated decidedly as she gave a content sigh. "Don't know why no one ever liked you, you're nice."
She said he didn't have to thank her, but sweetness and kindness were so rare. It was like a bliss when it happened. The world had grown into somewhere so big and also so small and so indifferent, like people used to hide their kindness afraid others would abuse it. And Ruth wasn't afraid to hide it. That made her so precious in ways John's mind simply couldn't put into words or elaborate a metaphor, not yet, it was mostly emotions and sensations than anything logic. Even her scent became home.
He let her lead the way, the moment she opened the door, Grumpy already rushed inside, the little noises caused by its nails hitting the floor, its quick steps into the safest spot in the world. John kept his hands in the pockets his robes, eyes sleepy and distracted, blinking a few times when he realized Ruth had started to strip— her hair, it seemed like pure gold....and....—
Quickly he took a deep breath, somehow making it almost inaudible, turned to the door, ready to leave and give her some space, but then she was already coming his way— "Sure, of course. The place is yours. If you want some more privacy tonight, lemme know." He managed to stay serious and calm when he said it— but the moment she left the room, the flush of red spread all over his face and ears. "Mmnm."
The dog found its place on a fluffy carpet, already hugging the tomato plushie he had found somewhere, curling to sleep. He found himself standing there, eyes lost, remembering the night he saw her all naked on that bed— and her hair... it was like it was made out of some holy gold. She said he was a good friend. That made him so happy actually. And to his annoyance (about himself) he could already feel all that emotion between his legs, that warm soft tingle that made him blush and facepalm a little. He spread the robes a little while looking at the mirror, skin crazy sensible, nipples all hard and cock wanting to lift— and his chest feeling full of butterflies. "Ugh...really Marston...? Really? You're that love deprived? That pathetic?" He grunted a little. Grumpy looked at John and rolled its eyes, letting out a loooong judging sound.
"What?? I know what you did to that big tomato plush. You didn't even ask her if you could take it, did you?" He sighed, looking down at himself and frowning and pouting a little in disaproval, then closed the robes, climbed the bed on his side, questioning if sleeping by her side was already something twisted and perverted. The nightmares though...they stopped for good when she was close and he was getting addicted to sleeping well.
He got comfy and closed his eyes, and almost napping, he woke up feeling the pressure of his body against his, and her voice, so pretty and calming like usual. "I did bad things. That alone pretty much justifies it." He knew it was a lot more than that, but it was not wrong. "It's also about being afraid and...not knowing what I can do or what I did in the past." He could feel his cheeks warmer as she curled next to him.
Ruth yawned, her hands holding onto his arm as she pressed her cheek to his shoulder. If she wasn't so tired, she would have decided then that she never wanted to give this up. Having someone to sleep next to, someone who wouldn't hurt her but swore to protect her, it felt good. He was particularly warm, hot even. So much so that Ruth regretted wearing the warm pjs and wished she would have worn thin ones. She pulled at her own robe, trying to wiggle out of it because of the heat.
"I guess that makes sense," she said sleepily. "But even then... You're plenty nice to me. So... nice and... gentle..." Yawns kept interrupting her words as her mind started to fall asleep. Since she was falling into unconsciousness, she couldn't quite remember if she was really speaking or if this was a dream. "And...warm... and handsome and... warm–" Her voice fell off as her limbs relaxed against him. Her breathing evened out as she curled into his warmth.
Her dreams started to resemble the ones she'd had before. Memories that weren't hers, not as violent or sad as other ones, but a lonely dark apartment which slowly bled into a hot and desperate scene of John again. His voice rang in her ears, that uneven gravely sound, somewhere between being high and low. It must have been from sleeping close and all that heat, because even in her sleep Ruth was growing extremely warm. Her body shivered against John's as her cheeks and ears and a splotchy place on her chest slowly turned pink. But instead of pulling away, Ruth pressed herself closer as if it would help. It was like she could feel the anxitey in his body and wanted to get it out any way she could. Even if it was just in a dream...
The way she grabbed his arm, like that would make sure he wouldn't fade away, it made him feel so important. He was a stranger and she chose to curl there, against him. A safe spot. Honestly though, he knew they weren't strangers anymore. Friends. That felt nice. It made his lips smile softly, made his chest feel lighter. "Mnm." He hummed as she spoke, her voice sounding so sleepy and so cute- until she said handsome and his eyes widened in surprise.
What? Handsome? Him? Had she missed the scars in his face? The dark rings under his eyes that seemed permanent by now. Handsome? He smiled a little in a mix of ego and disbelief. She sure had an odd taste in men. The way she wiggled out of her robe though, pressing herself against him- he felt it should be a crime if she wasn't so damn adorable. The urge to keep her safe was crazy, the urge to comfort her, to suddenly maybe build a whole lifetime with her- and where did the last one come from??
As she curled closer against John, he made sure to try and keep his cock hidden between his legs, away from her. He could feel his thighs brush against the soft sheets, which was lovely, but maybe he should have considered wearing something instead of just those robes. But then what's the point? She had given it to him, if he was to wear pajamas then why to even wear it? The damn was amazingly comfy that was the main point, being naked under it after a shower felt like heaven. But now...he could feel himself leaking transparent liquid between his thighs, tensing them together or touching his knees was useless- his cheeks were blushing in shame as he failed to hold the wetness, and since he was failing it, why not realize how her breasts had wiggled when she did, how they were perfect, how he could see their outline under her pajamas, how they felt warm against him, how he felt the tip of her nibble brush against his bare chest at some point when she moved? And that long perfect hair, so soft and it always seemed to smell so good.
"Handsome my ass..." He pouted a little, trying to push the whole idea away (and failing)- damn, he had to admit it, sleeping like that hugging her felt like heaven. Heaven. The moment he allowed himself to try and relax to sleep, he felt he got the sheet down there all wet- he considered getting rid of that, but moving from there would wake her up, which would be a crime. He just cupped himself, giving his tip gentle strokes with his thumb, relaxing himself to sleep while keeping it covered with his hand to be more careful- which was all in vain the moment he felll asleep and moved anyway.
He was dreaming again, and it wasn't the usual horrendous nightmare. It was just his flat and the lonelyness of it. And Ruth was there. That made him feel so happy, so happy. She was there in his world now. He'd run to her the moment he saw her, he was just a kid again, and he'd crash against her hugging so tight in such a clumsy way, nuzzling so much against her stomach- and that urge to cry as if he had been found after so long. He wanted to ask her to go play with him, but he really didn't know how- so he kept hugging her tight, his 6 year olf self, maybe a bit older, he was such a thin small child for so long- he'd look up at her and smile, like the dream was a safe spot to show all he felt without any restrictions, no need to act tough or serious, he could just hug her smile so happily.
Her hug was draining away all the agony and anxiety that used to haunt his heart. His child self would grip Ruth's shirt in the dream, point at how that dark flat had parts of it that were starting to look different, the kitchen had become something more like her kitchen, and it was covered in warm light and a cozy feeling, he'd pull her gently, but with so much energy to show how some parts of the flat had changed, and then he'd attack hug her again, his long black hair getting messy from nuzzing her so much, his little arms tight around her- that kid looked so happy she was there, like he had been trapped in that place for ages.
Ruth kept dreaming that John was a kid. Not her kid necessarily, but one she needed to look after and protect. He'd run to her and hug her. She'd keep him safe from all the things that tried to harm him. Maybe that was why she was able to like him so much, Ruth saw past everything he was and saw to the child he had been. The one with no friends or family, the one who had needed kindness but was never shown any. So Ruth hugged the child tightly, vowing she would find a way to always keep him safe.
It was still dark when she woke up. The room was peaceful, but a strange feeling tugged at her chest. She chalked it up to being anxious about her family. Not wanting to wake John, Ruth pulled away very slowly. He needed to sleep still. He looked so peaceful when he slept, almost like the kid she'd seen in her dreams. Giving a small smile, she placed a kiss on John's forehead, a signal that he could keep resting and she'd watch out for him.
Nodding for Grumpy to come with her, Ruth grabbed her robe and headed quietly downstairs to just enjoy the silence of the morning. She slipped on her mud boots, opening the door to let the dog out while she went to search for eggs. The air felt thin. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. There was no threat around at all, leaving Ruth to brush off the feeling. She kept getting distracted by her dream, by how much John needed someone to look after him. He was older than her, but was it wrong to want to fill that role? After she finished gathering eggs, Ruth started back toward the house. Realizing she hadn't seen the dog, she turned to call for him.
"Grumpy!" There was no reply. That was odd. Frowning, Ruth placed the basket of eggs by the door and walked back out toward the yard. "Grumpy? Come here, boy–"
A figure in the grass made her stop. Panic shot through her. Racing to the dog, Ruth felt her eyes well with tears. He didn't look hurt, but he was whining pained breaths. "Grumpy? Oh my gosh..." There was no sign of another animal or a monster. So what had happened? Ruth was about to stand and run for John when something hit the back of her neck. It felt like a bug bite.
"Ow..." Ruth picked at the spot, seeing a small pellet. "What the–" Her vision started to get dizzy and her knees contacted the ground. Something grabbed her. It was strong like John, but not warm like him. Her mind screamed at her to fight, but her limbs wouldn't move. "Wait–" she protested weakly. She was moving. What about Grumpy? What about her parents? John? It felt hard to breathe. Her body hit something metalic and hard. She grunted, trying to blink away the dizziness. "Stop–" Her vision was faiding. The soft cries of the dog filled the space as a thud resounded next to her. Ruth tried to crawl toward the remaining blurr of light. "Please!"
It was gone as she collapsed again. "John," she whispered, as if calling out to him. She was supposed to keep him safe today. "John..." Her consciousness faded as the attackers dissappeared, leaving the small homestead in a quiet peace which hid the fact that the soul of the place had been taken from it.
The dream seemed so real. Her hugs, her scent, the warmth, and he made him feel so safe. For some reason he couldn't speak in the dream, so he tried to show her around, the apartment, a reflection of his mind and heart, he wanted her to see how she was changing it all to the better. It was childish and pure, but she felt like family, regardless everything else, her house felt more home than his own apartment he lived for years.
When she woke up and stood, the dream started to darken. Ruth was walking away, the boy started to walk and then run after her, trying to say it was dangerous to be far from each other, but no words could come out- There was this huge darkness in this long corridor Ruth was walking away, the boy became all dark, mixed with shadows, the shadows formed tentacles trying to reach for Ruth but she was gone. The boy ran to hid own room, trying to wake up his adult self, but it wouldn't work, and like that, without Ruth, the dream faded.
John's arms and hands moved a little, searching for her, ready to wake, but then she kissed his forehead and he melted and continued to sleep.
Grumpy was awake and alert the moment she was ready to step out of the room, and he followed her around during the whole time. He was prepared to face the creatures, but he'd never expect or be ready to fight anyone from the force- any of the team would approach him, and the dog would start wagging his tail.
The pain and the dizzyness hit the animal too hard, he couldn't bark, his throat was tense and all he could do was cry- he knew he was failing and he didn't know why that was happening.
It was around an hour after that when John woke up. No smell of coffee, no sounds. Weird. He sat up, looked around. No Grumpy, no Ruth. He quickly stood up and rushed down the stairs, gun already in hand. "RUTH?" He'd stop, pause, look around, run to another part of the house. "RUTH? WHERE DID YOU GO?" Only his voice echoed, sadness started to fill his chest, he knew something was wrong. Very wrong. "GRUMPY, WHERE ARE YOU, BOY?"
....
The more he wandered around the property, the more sure he was Ruth and Grumpy were gone. The car was there, the basket with eggs....something had taken them. "I thought them things used to attack during the night..." His voice was so weak and shaky, like he was about to cry. He entered the vehicle, drove around the property, checked the roads nearby, the shops, the market- the placed hadn't even opened yet...she definitely wasn't there.
He had no choice to come back to the property, going to his room, grabbing his phone and the scanner, he called the team right away while searching the farm with the other device, looking for signs of the creatures, particles, anything, and there was nothing. Even where they had killed the goat creature, it was all normal now. "I've lost her. She's gone. They took Grumpy too. Mark? I...I'm heading back to town. She's gone. Ruth MacAdams is gone. I don't know how they got her. But they did."
When he lowered the phone, sitting on the bed, he looked down, shoulders fell, eyes flooded with tears and they came down- there was no one to hide them from. The house was empty. Empty. His chest felt empty and heavy. It was all over. Moments ago she was right against his chest...and he could hear Grumpy's little snores from time to time. Now...gone.
His heart was still racing, the robes he hadn't even changed from yet were falling down from his shoulders- he just covered his face, rubbed it it with both his hands, depressed sobs and honest tears, his eyes were red. The memories of the breakfast smell, her soft steps around the house, her voice humming, her shy figure looking at him and smiling- gone. Probably dragged into somewhere under the earth to be eaten and absorbed by those monsters, her throat probably was already destroyed with those tumors coming out from her guts. He sobbed and cried so hard his chest was aching, and when he finally stopped, he presed his gun against his temple, trying to gather the strength to end all that- a world without her....was really worth it? After seeing light and feeling that warmth, how was he supposed to go back to that cold darkness?
He almost pressed the trigger, but seeing the pretty curtains and still feeling her scent in the sheets, he refused to stain that place with disgrace. It was a home without soul, but better keep it empty rather than make it cursed and haunted with his suffering soul.
He lowered the gun, got dressed and ready to drive back to the central in Blackwater. After the report, after he was sure they had no clue where she was, when he decided there was nothing else he could do to bring her back or end whatever suffering creature she possibly had become, then he would sit in his apartment and blow his brains out. Until then, he'd see what he could do.
The man smoked, took his pills and drove back to Blackwater, the town still dark and rainy and depressing as usual. He parked at the usual spot, walking into the agency, defeat and depression written on his face, no one even dared to ask what was wrong. Once back to the force's floor, he told them what happened, asked if they had any clues.
He barely had any hope though. The world...being nice...- it had to be some lie. It had been too good to be true. Of course it wouldn't have lasted.
The entire station knew never to bother John Marston. He was a decent fellow, but they had all seen his bad side, and none of them wanted to be on it. They cast pittying glamces at him when he stromed through the station, it was always hard to fail a mission, especially one so important to the force. That girl could have been such a help... 'I'm sorry, Marston,' his commanding officer said. 'I can give you reports of activity, but we can't spare anyone to really look. Even if she was a Sensitive, we're already stretched thin as it is.' The man handed John a few reports of sightings in the city limits, but even those seemed too far to have been anywhere close to Ruth's home.
With aching, sleepy limbs and a raging headache, Ruth blinked her eyes open to harsh medical lighting. The room looked almost like a cell. It was just the bed in the corner, a small table in the middle and mirror which she assumed was double sided. Her pjs did nothing to keep the cold out. Ruth rubbed her eyes, shivering. It wasn't long before the door clicked with a heavy thud and was pushed open. A man entered, looking sort of like John had the first time she met him. Tired looking, but much less kind than John, tall with set features and annoyed eyes... Ruth could pratically feel his irritation. It made her want to shrink away.
'Do you know where you are, Miss McAdams?' He asked in a monotonous drawl. Ruth shook her head. "No..." The man just looked at the folder he was holding. 'Do you know you have a... special intuition... which is in heavy demand?' The girl froze. They must be the police... or the government... whoever John really worked for. But why kidnap her? Why not just ask or tell John to bring her in? Ruth's mind raced. She knew this was exactly what the agent had been trying to protect her from. "I do," she responded, folding her arms around herself to keep warm. "Is asking nicely against official policy?"
The man looked up to frown at her. Ruth was terrified. She didn't know how to use her sensibilities at all, or if she could even control them. She wasn't strong or brave and she didn't know the first thing about fighting monsters. John was out there somewhere... probably freaking out and all alone. Alone. Grumpy. If anything, Ruth started to fear for the dog's life more than her own for a minute. It was a strange feeling to hold all the power... Well, she didn't really, but if they wanted her to cooperate, maybe she could get something from them. It seemed sneaky and devious, Ruth was not accustomed to barging, but she had to try. For John's sake.
"Where's Grumpy?" She asked. The agent raised an eyebrow. 'Who?' "The dog.' The man huffed. 'Oh. He's fine. But I wouldn't worry too much about a mutt–'
Ruth stood. Her legs shook and her heart was beating fast. "I know what you want," she interrupted. "I'll cooperate. But only if I can have the dog. He... he helps me focus." Ruth was lying through her teeth. And she was a terrible liar. But she had no choice. God help her, she didn't know any other way to survive whatever this was.
The agent stared at her for a long minute. He turned to leave the room, returning an hour later with the dog. He was muzzled and looked terrified, the poor thing. Ruth bent quickly, embracing Grumpy with a hug. It relaxed her, having something warm and friendly nearby. 'Don't get too comfortable,' the agent stated as he moved back to the door. 'We're going to need you soon.' The door shut heavily and Ruth felt a wave of dread sweep over her as she scratched behind Grumpy's ears.
"It's okay boy," she soothed, frowing at the lock on his muzzle. "At least we're together..."
When Ruth offered her hand started to pet Grumpy, the animal immediately melted into her touches, understanding she was one of the good people, his tail wagging so much, the little jumps he would give as she scratched behind his ears, and it just stayed there, enjoying all the pets, and when she paused, he'd stand, pressing both his paws against her chest, sniffing her all over, letting out happy little cries.
"Huh. He likes you. That's....that's actually rare. Normally he's grumpy to people and people are grumpy back or just scared because of his size.
The dog had a lot of soft skin to be pet because of its age, and it seemed to be a very calm animal.
The thunders started to hit loudly again, the power oscillating, as if the typhoon was trying to catch up.
"Thanks for helping." John said once he locked the door and went downstairs, Grumpy jumping onto the backseat and curling on his place, already preparing to take a nap. Traveling made it sleepy.
"Hey...you'll be home in no time, alright?" If he wasn't used to be acting rough, maybe he'd be saying a lot more, offering a hug or apologizing about everything, but it was his job and he needed to keep her safe.
The storm was quite violent as they left town. The power oscillating outside, some trees had fallen, some lower areas were flooding. The amount of water that started falling from the sky was formidable to say the least. Gladly John's driving was good, the truck was robust and they weren't having any problems. Because of how late it was, the streets were mostly empty, and one they got to the suburban area, he felt like he was in one of those liminal spaces, the sky so dark, absolute silence but the sound of the car engine, the lights outside limited to each house, all the rest, the fields, the distance, all seemed so pitch black.
John even shivered at some point, it was getting so cold. He looked to the side to see Ruth, she seemed so...she seemed so sick. Exhausted. He felt bad for her. The address, he didn't even need a GPS, until they were close to Cholla Springs. Gently he poked her shoulder. "Hey, we're almost there. Cheer up a little...." He tried, but he was a bit tired too.
Once he parked by her little ranch like property, he also let a sigh of relief. "If anyone asks....remember to say what we talked. That some maniac was stalking you....destroyed your car...I'm keeping you safe for a few days, alright?" He wasn't aware she was totally alone. He imagined at least a parent, sibling or boyfriend would be around, but...the place seemed so damn quiet.
"Come on, let's wake up, boy, we arrived."
Grumpy started wagging its tail and looking around, jumping off the car as soon as John opened the door, the animal froze when it felt the fresh breeze of the fields, of countryside.
'Awoooofff wooof wooffff wofff wuuuuuff wufff wuffff!' It started to hop in circles as John tried to remove the leash. "Easy boy...I'm trying to take this off...." Once John did, the dog bolted towards the house, jumping and rolling on the green grass, resting on its back and wiggling its paws up.
"Huh. I've never seen this big boy so energetic. I guess being here for a while will do him good" He smirked at little as he took his things from the car, rushing inside following Ruth. The rain had taken a short break before it started hitting hard again. John waited before walking in. "Where is everyone?" He asked, finding everything too silent.
"Grumpy, come boy, or you'll get all wet." Marston took a towel from his bag, crouched down to dry the animal, it seemed so happy, it made John chuckle. "Give them paws....let's dry your feet....good boy..."
"Miss...thanks for accepting me here, even if...." He sighed. "Well, even if there wasn't much of a better option. I'll explain everything tomorrow when you're well rested..."
Where did she go?
"Alright...I'll take the room upstairs then. Thank you. Could I maybe take a shower?" The dark rings under his eyes seemed larger, driving amidst that storm, the damn typhoon, which was threatening to get worse made him extra tired. "Can Grumpy sleep inside?"
Where was she? He was holding a pistol, ready to give it to her, but....where?
"Maybe tomorrow then....I guess everyone's tired."
He saw the bunny in the kitchen, it seemed so angry for some reason. "Hey little feller."
Marston didn't know if Ruth would allow his dog upstairs, so he took Grumpy's bed and placed near the bunny, by the small pen in the kitchen. "Behave, boy. Don't mess anything up, we're guests." The huge scary german shepherd curled down and started to whine though, crying to John, giving the puppy eyes. 'Abueh bueh bueh bueh bueh....' He sighed. "It's her house...and...just tonight..."
The dog rolled on his back and started to move its paws in the air as if it was dying. "Oh no need for drama...come on. Come on. You ain't alone, there's the bunny there." Grumpy paused and looked at Dinner. The little bunny looked like a fur ball of pure rage. Grumpy looked back at John, cried and jumped up to curl on his lap, Marston had to catch him.
"You're afraid of it?? Oh...why?? Well....it does look angry....alright...I'm taking you to my room with me...but no noise, no mess, alright? You already peed outside, right? Not wet cocks staining the floor, alright? It's a lady's house." He kept drying the animal with the towel, in more detail now since it was coming inside. "Your chest is all wet...play in the grass tomorrow, okay?" Grumpy rested his head on John's shoulder and closed its eyes to rest, loving the caresses of the towel. "You're such a big baby. You're getting heavy." John carried the animal and its bed upstairs, and he had no idea which room was his.
He set down the dog bed on the corridor and gently placed Grumpy on it. "Just a minute, boy."
John had left his boots by the porch, stepping silently to inspect if that was the right room, and the moment he looked, his lips parted as he saw the lady, naked on her bed, spread on soft sheets- he froze. The memory of what he had seen at the scanner room, and now again, that perfect body, and she seemed so relaxed. Her thighs and delicate legs, her ribs and that soft skin, those perfect breasts and that golden hair. He blushed, even stopped breathing for a while, eyes locked on her, feeling guilty each second he admired her, her perfect bottom, she seemed like a holy statue and he hadn't felt so horny in such a long time. "Mnm." He gave an awkward nod and stepped back and out of her room, cheeks and ears warm and red, he silently made his way to his own room. "Oh boy....she must be so tight." He panted and shook his head as he opened the other room, carrying his things inside, Grumpy grunting a little a John's comment, as if judging his owner. "Ah don't you start, I know what you do to the Santa Klaus plushie." The dog looked offended as it followed John carrying his little bed with his mouth.
Once his things were in the room, he felt sleep hit him, but he needed a shower. He was smelling precinct and that molded big city. Smelling like Blackwater, and that town, it was...different, he felt a shower there would make him feel pure and clean, like countryside.
He went to to shower, turned on the water, relaxed finally, the only tension left in him was the one seeing her all nude caused. Oh how he wanted to have that woman, he knew thoughts like that were his entrance ticket to hell, but....the thought of she asking for it...and him having her sweetly on that bed of hers....ughh....he closed his eyes and kept imagining it as he washed himself and relieved that tension.
Once he was done and had dried himself, he also felt the last of his energy gone when he got close to his bed. His bare feet against the wooden floor felt right and relaxing, he also sunk into his bed, didn't even pull the sheets, he just rested on top of them, his dark hair spread on the pillow- Grumpy was sleeping on his little dog one when he checked, but didn't take long until he felt the animal jumping onto it, resting by his side. Since John looked so peaceful and so tired, the dog respected his space this time. The rain outside, the wooden noises caused by the wind, it was all so relaxing. Didn't take long for him to hug a pillow, dreaming about her, her lips, those breasts, that perfect spot between her thigh and her sides. "Dang....why did she have to look so.....so perfect like that, Grumpy...." The hot water that relaxed him for good, he was so calm and sleepy he even seemed to be drugged. "I'll wake up hard like hell for sure....mnmhg...she's so perfect..."
The dog grunted at John, judging him again, wanting to sleep. "Alright....I'll shut up....just...this pillow is mine...."
He blacked out, had very sweet dreams, and for the first time in years, he didn't have a nightmare. He just...loss track of everything, he just slept. Slept for so many hours.
His phone vibrated a couple of hours later, but he didn't even notice. If not shaken, he probably would sleep until noon, it had been the best sleep ever, breathing in and out, using the pillows as cover, he even forgot who he was or where he was.
@girllock-writes
Ruth had smiled at Grumpy. She thought it was funny that John called him her husband... obviously, Grumpy was a dog, but Ruth thought that she wouldn't mind a man like that. Capible, but also so willing to show affection. Her fingers brushed his fur, scratching behind his ears. She felt safe, slottwed between the agent and his dog. Like nothing in the world could get to her.
She listened quietly when John spoke, feeling the heavy sort of energy his words carried. All that pain and numbess, it would drive her crazy. He'd been through so much. It was a crude story to hear, but Ruth just kept herself next to him, wishing that she could do anything to make him forget that pain. He was supposed to be safe in her house, safe from the memories and trauma of his past. He was free to speak of them, but Ruth prayed they wouldn't haunt him here. Though his past was sad, part of her found it slightly impressive that he had survived so much. John was a man of great skill and Ruth knew that was something to be admired. The scars didn't look like wounds to her, but more like trophies... the world had tried to destroy him but he had survived and told it to go fuck itself.
Her eyes returned to him when he commanded her to answer. She really realllly didn't want to. There was a coldness to his voice, one she hadn't heard since she'd met him. Her eyes blinked up at him, knowing she should listen but also just as scared of answering as she was of not. Ruth wasn't particularly scared of John, but her heart skipped a few beats, thinking of all the things he could do to her. He was a killer. He was all those terrible things he'd listed. And she saw past that. Ruth couldn't see him as simply those flaws, but it would be foolish to ignore them. Her hesitation wasn't necessarily one of anxiety, but of introspection. She thought for a moment that if he was a worse man, their dynamic would be very different.
Picking up the phone, Ruth felt a little like a scolded puppy. "Hey," she answered, sitting back a bit as a new dread filled her stomach. 'Sweetie!' The woman's voice rang over the line. 'I decided that I didn't want to wait to visit and I'm coming tomorrow. Isn't that wonderful!' Ruth cringed. She had completely forgotten... her mother had wanted to visit. Tomorrow she was supposed to have lunch with her father. And how was she going to explain John? "Nows not such a great time, mom," she tried to explain as she stood to pace. Ruth always paced when she was on the phone. "It's very busy and–" 'Oh, you worry too much! Besides, it's not like you ever have guests.' Ruth flinched, glancing at John. "Actually... I do. Right now... Something happened in town and the police..." 'Well, the more the merrier,' the older woman said, as if she hadn't heard a word of Ruth's story. 'I'll drop in about dinner tomorrow. Then we can go into Blackwater on Monday for shopping.' "But I have work and–" 'See you tomorrow, sweetie!' The line clicked shut. Ruth had to hold back a frustrated sigh. Not only was she hiding from monsters, she had to deal with domestic issues too. Slumping back onto the couch, Ruth pulled her legs to her chest, wondering what she was going to do about the mess she was in.
"I'm aware you may have family issues, but we don't want them thinking you got kidnapped and alerting the local police. Johnson was already out of script, specially the part in which he showed up in my room to threaten me while my butt was out like God made it. Don't forget the cops think you were threatened by some maniac. There are levels of top secret above top secret, and for a reason. Keep things simple. We don't want you stepping in Blackwater anytime soon, so I won't let your mother take you." He sighed, scratched the back of his head, hating himself for causing so much tension. He knew it was her mom's fault in a way, but he knew he had to keep things in control.
Grumpy was already wandering around the house since she stood up to pace, and John's clothes were a bit wrinkled due to Ruth resting against him. And that had made him fee all sensible, physcally. Any soft brushing against his skin felt like heaven. "You'll get paid fondly for cooperating, if that helps you stay motivated and see all this in a more positive way. You don't need to stress too much, despite all the problems. If my heart stops, they'll know because of my watch, and a whole team will come to make sure you're safe. Also, I can't harm you in any way. I'm here to keep you safe and well. And honestly, I just wanna help you."
He sighed, feeling bad for her, for the whole situation. He was getting attached, he knew. Attached and attracted. John could feel her scent all over him. Making him feel very strong things, imagine things, have those warm shivers. "Your mom seems like something else." He joked. Seeing her curling on the couch holding her knees just reminded him how young she was, and how stressed her life felt. "Hey, don't be like that...you'll be fine. I can get rid of your mom if you'd like. Just kiddng. Come on...cheer up." He poked her shoulder a little, eyes patient, he really cared. "Sorry, bad joke. I could have her win some cruiser offer though, so she spends a month away to give you some peace." He smirked playfully. "Come on, what things you want the most? Focus on the good things. It's what they told me to say in the motivational course."
Ruth glanced at John. She was grateful for him and for the protection, but it still felt confusing and new... After all it had only been a couple days. "I know," she said quietly, understanding just how important it was to keep the act up. "And thanks... She's... well, she's my mother and I love her, but after she left my dad... I swear she's gone a little off the rails." Ruth sighed before sitting up a little straighter.
"She's going to want my room... I always move to the guest room for her. But that's your space." Ruth gave a small huff, thinking of a hundred things she should tell the man to prepare him. "She's pushy sometimes. Doesn't ever take no for an answer and–" Ruth groaned, feeling a sense of dread. And maybe jealousy at the thought. "And she will try to flirt with you. I get that her relationship with dad wasn't good but it can get... intense." Ruth hated the idea of her mom trying to come on to John. He was hers... sort of. Not in a romantic sense, maybe. Even if she sometimes wished. But that was silly. If anything, he was her friend, and he was technically here for work. Not play. Even so, he'd been assigned to her. Just her. Ruth knew it was sort of selfish and stupid to be jealous over that. Had he not already rejected the advances of that girl in the parking lot? Rith wondered if men cared about that sort of thing... women being jealous. Not that she had a right to be.
Really looking at him now, Ruth gave a sad sort of smile. "I don't need money, John. I don't really want it. I know it's important... and I want to help... but it's like you said. What if I can't? What if I made it worse?"
She allowed herself a small laugh at his joke. "Don't offer. It's too tempting." She stood again, moving toward the kitchen for the food. She returned a few minutes later with plates and glasses, setting them on the table before getting the pizza. It probably should have cooled a little longer, but Ruth could tell John was hungry. She sat back down next to him, trying to enjoy a last night of peace. Monsters were scary, sure. But so was her mother sometimes.
John blinked a few times, paying attention to Ruth's words. Whenever she actually spoke, not the usual short answers or glares, the actual times she talked, it always felt so meaningful and important. "It's your house. I can sleep in the car if you need. Or in the living room." He really wouldn't mind if he had to. As long as he was close to the house to stop some attack.
"She'd what? Hit on me? But she doesn't even know me. Don't this small town have any men?" He chuckled, and he was actually slowly getting surprised that Ruth seemed so serious about it, angry or annoyed apparently. She'd look as angry and Dinner, it was too cute.
"Well, I guess your mother will have to learn how to accept no's. Cause I doubt she's more stubborn than me." He ran hhis fingers through his hair, adjusting it, it was already getting longer— like just being there eating her food and sleeping well was already making him healthier— his grayish eyes starting to show some brown.
"You don't need money? You're the first person to ever tell me that. Everyone needs. Even if you're selfless, you need money to help others. You need a new car to get your work done." He was impressed, but not very happy about it. Things would have been easier if she just accepted some price. But...that also made her even more special. The agent in him was upset at his work becoming a bit more difficult, but John....he was actually happy she was like that.
"No, Ruth. I didn't say I'd pay you to join the operation team. I said I'd pay you to do as I say." He sighed, rubbing his brow. "I already said I don't want you to join. You'd suffer and I don't want you to suffer. You're a good woman. Too good for this world." He said while staring the void, looking down, the agent at him sighing at his own defeat for getting too attached to her.
And then she laughed at his bad jokes, making him smile. He followed her with his eyes as Ruth walked to the kitchen to get the pizza out of the oven onto the table, his stomach growled loudly, but his eyes kept following her again, and she sat close to him again— that made his eyes go soft and sweet— he was melting more every time Ruth interacted with him. And again, he bit his lips, wondering if she was approaching only because he was afraid to be alone.
The young woman thought about John's words. 'I'd pay you to do as I say.' They were a bit odd to her. Even if it was to protect her, he must have some other reason, wouldn't he? Ruth wondered again what the point of all this was. She understood what was happening, she just didn't know why. Part of her wondered if John even fully knew why. The rest of the daylight seemed to drag on slowly. Ruth found herself not wanting to move from John's side. Even when she wanted to go shower and get into her pjs, staying next to him sounded nicer.
Maybe she was afraid of being alone... she hadn't really been before. But then again, if she had a choice of getting close to someone to fill that lonely void, John didn't seem like the ideal person. Or perhaps he was since he was the only one around. Ruth really wasn't friends with many people her own age, and even though John was a bit older, he was much closer to her in that respect than anyone else.
As of now, she was only really afraid of the pressures of the coming day. She had closed her eyes as she leaned against John, feeling sleep pull at her. Sliding away from him a little, Ruth layed down, her head resting on his leg as she maneuverd her legs behind where Grumpy was sitting on the other cushion. It was like John was her pillow and Grumpy was her blanket. She sighed, her eyes still heavy even though she wasn't very tired.
"What if we just went away again. Far from here... I know you said it would be suspicious, but I... I just want to be alone with you. It's quiet and safe... It's– Well, it's nice."
John ate the pizza she made him like his life depended on it. Absolutely delicious, better than any pizza he had ordered, better than anything he had eaten in Blackwater. He ate until his stomach was full, and if he was alone, he'd sleep right there, wake up, eat more and then go back to sleep. "So good....no wonder food stuff literally is your job." He cleaned his plate, every time. Ate his pizza and whatever was left of Ruth's, the parts she didn't eat. Even the dough alone was soft and so tasty, and all so warm. "I'll definitely get fat if I stay here." He chuckled, giving her a soft smile. "Thank you. For real. These past few days, I feel like I'm in some luxury five star inn fifty years in the past. And I ain't even that old."
John noticed she was awfully quiet. He wondered if it had been something he said, or if she was just anxious for the next day. Grumpy was definitely poking Ruth around more often, bumping his head against her leg, acting cuddly, wanting to cheer her up, looking up at her and wagging his tail slowly, as if to tell the young woman everything was okay, that he was happy to be there with her. Seeing the dog follow her around the house the whole afternoon pretty much told him she needed emotional support, and he was glad Grumpy was good at that, because John knew he was awful about it.
When he was almost napping on the couch, he felt the pressure of her body against him. He kept his eyes closed, relaxed. She was just lonely, he'd just let her rest. She needed human contact, well, people needed, and she was so lonely and he was the only person there. Grumpy made sure to cuddle her all the time, giving her small licks from time to time, pressing its cold nose against her skin.
Watching movies, digesting food and feeling Ruth napping practically on his lap, that was something he didn't know he needed. It was hard to not feel protective, the urge to pet her hair was big, but he resisted it. Approaching too much and getting intimate would be a problem, wouldn't it? He just rested his arm on her protectively.
"What? Run away?" His lips moved into a sad smile. "We shouldn't. It would make the team lose trust in all this, it would make them want to bring us back." He sighed, and damn he understood so well, he also wanted to run away from all that. "Why me of all people though? What about your friends? Don't you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Or your family?" He couldn't understand she actually liked him, he believed that was happening because he was the only person around. "Considering Grumpy is a dog, technically, you are alone with me." Grumpy groaned, pressed its face against Ruth's back. "Why it's nice being with me? All I've done so far was order you around, eat your food, sleep on your bed, invade your space. I know I ain't awful but...you sure you're just not...too lonely?"
Ruth reached her hand back, scratching at Grumpy's fur. He was so calming to be around. She thought he really did make a good therapy dog. John's words hit her sort of hard. Maybe she was just lonely... but even so, she didn't ever want him to leave. Despite all the reasons why she shouldn't like him or why it didn't make sense, Ruth did. She felt bad, not knowing what she truly felt or why. All she knew was that right now, John meant more to her than most of the people she knew.
She gave a guilty sigh, but didn't move from her spot on his lap. "Maybe I am just lonely," she said quietly, her eyes staring at the television. "I don't know why it's nice... But it is. I don't mind the ordering. I like sharing my space, my things, my food. And you're the first person in a while who has made me feel like sharing was more than just a chore." She turned, staring up at him. Her eyes were sad. "Most of my friends are much older... They have lives, families and kids and grandkids, they are already fulfilled. I've got a few friends my age, but they're all gone off, pursuing dreams that don't involve me. No one's been interested in dating me in... well... ever. And my parents–" She paused with a sigh. "They love me, I know that. But being around them makes me feel even more lonely, like I'm destined to forever be a bridge between two things that should never touch."
Ruth found herself mindlessly petting Grumpy to keep her hands occupied. He was soft and sweet, much like she thought John was. "You're here to do your job. I know that. I guess, for the first time in a while, it finally feels like someone cares of their own accord, not just because they think they owe me something."
She turned her head back away, feeling as if she might cry if she kept looking at John. "I know it's a silly thing to think. And it's terrible of me to see you that way. It's unfair. I know I'm lonely... Maybe it's just because you are here... But you're my friend, or, at least, I hope you are. Is it wrong to like someone even if the circumstances force you together?" Ruth owed John her life multiple times over now. She knew the situation of their meeting was unorthodox, but she still cared about him.
"Would you still ask that if we had met a different way? A better one? Or... a less forced one?"
"No, it ain't wrong. Not at all. People meet each other in the most random ways. You're not...forced to like or dislike people because of the way you met them, people just...I'm not sure....they...react to people and...most times people simply hate or love based on circunstance and first impressions." The way she kept looking at him, she seemed to hold so much guilt and hesitation. Every word she said meant sonething, in the sense she had clearly thought a lot about it all.
Listening to how she ended up alone was sort of heartbreaking. It hadn't been something fast and violent like it had happened to himself, but slow, silent and indifferent. "Well, I'm old." He chuckled a bit. "Not like Johnson but...someone as young as you must see me like some old ugly guy who smells like cigarettes." He checked his pockets, didn't find the cigarette box, then looked at the little counter by the entrance and it was right there where he left. He hadn't smoked since he put it there so casually, and he hadn't even realized.
"Yes, I think you can say that I'm your friend. We stole chocolate, you made me a pie, gave me a very comfy room and let me sleep in your bed— you treat my senior dog well, you're nice to me and you're honestly a good person. We watch cartoons together I mean." It was a bunch of good things. And they slept close to each other holding hands, and they were almost...cuddling on the couch, like it was so natural.
That made him stop and think for a minute.
What was Ruth becoming to him? A daughter he never had? A person he had to protect? Sometimes maybe what a mom he also never had? A friend? Someone special? Someone he was attracted to?Maybe all those things together. "If we had met differently, in the sense....if you had more people around you? Or...if we had normal lives and just met each other while going to the bank or something? I....yeah I think I'd still ask. Not because you have some sort of problem, but because people normally don't like me. Since I was a kid I get those stares....like my presence is some sort of offense. Then I commited a lot of crimes and people who know....well, they hate me or fear me and those who don't know, well, they don't approach me much. Maybe because of my face, my tattoos, my awful mood, my smell of smoke. I don't look like someone very sociable. And I ain't. The world stepped on me when I needed help...when I was vulnerable, so why the heck I have to look nice to the world? If I'm feeling angry or tired or annoyed, I just show it. I thought you'd treat me like most people do but...but you're so nice. Too nice."
Because of her sad puppy eyes and the slow emotional voice, he decided to hold her. Just hold her protectivelly. Maybe what was left of his paternal instinct was hitting. He couldn't tell. "Sorry for asking that. I didn't mean to make you feel....wrong. You ain't. You're fine. You're okay." He sighed. "We being here...ain't so forced. I asked them that. I told you, they wanted to keep you there but...you were so anxious it was getting on my nerves, I couldn't just leave you like that. I thought being home near the people you know would be better for you. I knew the others would be afraid to come so I volunteered knowing they'd accept it."
He smiled a bit shyly, but so happilly. "Yeah, we're friends. I also had no one. Dealing with people also felt like chores. "I like being with you too. Damn, too much. Definitely more than I should like."
It seemed silly to Ruth that people would just be mean to him for no reason. She didn't understand why anyone would do that for any reason. Even if it was based on looks or vibes, both of those seemed pretty surface level. She didn't quite know how to understand 'too nice'. Was nice bad? Maybe not bad bad, but did it make her vulnerable? Ruth had never thought about it that way. She'd always been told to just be nice to people because it was right. Glad to hear they were friends, Ruth gave him a small smile. It made her heart beat a little faster when he said he did like her.
But more than he should? What did that mean? Ruth was glad the light was pretty dim, her ears were turning an embarrassed shade of pink.
"You don't have to feel sorry," she said, not knowing how else to address the other things he had said. "Really... What has happened has happened. There's not much we can do about what life throws at us, we can only face it with a willing spirit." Sitting up, Ruth rubbed her eyes sleepily.
"We shoukd head upstairs," she suggested. "Before we fall asleep on the couch again... My back was not a fan of that." Scratching at Grumpy's ears, she beckoned for the dog to follow as if her were her own. She almost forgot he wasn't. Picking up the dishes quickly, she left them in the sink, not wanting to deal with them at the moment. As she started to the stairs, she got a strange feeling. It was like that tug she felt when she'd seen that creature that morning. That something was calling for her and she just couldn't ignore it. Pushing the feeling down, Ruth climbed the steps, thinking once she got to bed with John, she should never leave.
John smiled a little when she did, when he said he was her friend. Indeed, he liked her. He just did. Despite the fact there were tons of reasons why, he couldn't point a finger at a single one. "You kinda give me hope in a way." A corner of his lips kept the smile that had formed as he looked down, a bit shyly, reserved, contemplating all of that. "The pizzas were delicious. I'm...very grateful." He muttered, thanking her from heart.
"Damn, you're right. I'm alrewdy starting to feel my eyes heavy. This house is damn peaceful. I didn't have to take any meds. I guess working outside and not having any nightmares worked like magic. Thanks for helping me regarding that." He stood, watching her as she took the plates to the sink. John took a plastic bag and started gathering the trash, the wrapping of the ingredients she used, the bottles they drank from, napkins. The kitchen was acceptable, they could clean it by the morning.
"I had forgotten how it was like to be all clean and well fed and wearing something so soft." John confessed, his voice and smile almost sad, even though he meant to say all that as something good. "I'd get home and just crash on the couch or bed, try to sleep and fail and then fill my ass with sleeping pills or drink until I fainted. At least I'd forget the nightmares. And right now...damn, I feel so light. Thanks to you." He followed her, watching how Grumpy listened to Ruth, sometimes even more than he listened to himself. Maybe after all that was over, if it was ever over, maybe Grumpy should retire and just live with her. He had never seen the dog so calm and happy. John playfully gave a soft slap on the tip of the animal's tail as he walked by, Grumpy turning and standing on its back paws to nuzzle against John's chest, almost undoing his robes, the man had to hold it and fix it. "You sweet giant. Big baby." He pinched the dog's cheeks playfully and scratched its neck and behind its ears. "You've been such a gentleman. I'm really proud." He kissed Grumpy's forehead, who leaped up to try and and kiss John back, but ended up headbutting him by accident, making the man let out an acute little scream. "Careful! You're strong, boy." He gave Grumpy more scratches and more kissed, the animal's tail wagging like he'd take flight. "To bed now, alright? Let's go. Behave, we're invading her room."
Every time John spoke about the differences between his old life and his new one here with her, Ruth felt the strings of her heart pull tightly. She was sad he ever had to live in such a way, but now... Now he was safe. He was home. If he could truly consider this his home. Ruth had originally thought he would hate the place, it might have been to soft for him. But seeing his relaxation and contentment made Ruth happy.
"You don't have to thank me," she said as she opened the door to her room. She giggled a little, watching Grumpy play with John a little. She didn't see their presence as an invasion. It it was, well, they could invade any time they wanted. Her life was feeling full again. Maybe tomorrow wouldn't be so bad... He father was usually alright, and having John around might make her mother seem less scary.
Ruth sat on the edge of her bed, letting her hair down and pulling her socks off before pausing. She probably shouldn't undress in front of him... Not that he would mind. Not that she would mind... But it felt a little insensitive. Grabbing up her pajamas and robe, Ruth headed for the door. "I'll be back in a minute." By the time she returned, she was ready to crawl into bed, covered in long cotton pjs and a fluffy bathrobe. She climbed into the bed, not hesitating to curl up next to John immediately. His warmth was something she was getting too used to.
"You're a good friend," she stated decidedly as she gave a content sigh. "Don't know why no one ever liked you, you're nice."
She said he didn't have to thank her, but sweetness and kindness were so rare. It was like a bliss when it happened. The world had grown into somewhere so big and also so small and so indifferent, like people used to hide their kindness afraid others would abuse it. And Ruth wasn't afraid to hide it. That made her so precious in ways John's mind simply couldn't put into words or elaborate a metaphor, not yet, it was mostly emotions and sensations than anything logic. Even her scent became home.
He let her lead the way, the moment she opened the door, Grumpy already rushed inside, the little noises caused by its nails hitting the floor, its quick steps into the safest spot in the world. John kept his hands in the pockets his robes, eyes sleepy and distracted, blinking a few times when he realized Ruth had started to strip— her hair, it seemed like pure gold....and....—
Quickly he took a deep breath, somehow making it almost inaudible, turned to the door, ready to leave and give her some space, but then she was already coming his way— "Sure, of course. The place is yours. If you want some more privacy tonight, lemme know." He managed to stay serious and calm when he said it— but the moment she left the room, the flush of red spread all over his face and ears. "Mmnm."
The dog found its place on a fluffy carpet, already hugging the tomato plushie he had found somewhere, curling to sleep. He found himself standing there, eyes lost, remembering the night he saw her all naked on that bed— and her hair... it was like it was made out of some holy gold. She said he was a good friend. That made him so happy actually. And to his annoyance (about himself) he could already feel all that emotion between his legs, that warm soft tingle that made him blush and facepalm a little. He spread the robes a little while looking at the mirror, skin crazy sensible, nipples all hard and cock wanting to lift— and his chest feeling full of butterflies. "Ugh...really Marston...? Really? You're that love deprived? That pathetic?" He grunted a little. Grumpy looked at John and rolled its eyes, letting out a loooong judging sound.
"What?? I know what you did to that big tomato plush. You didn't even ask her if you could take it, did you?" He sighed, looking down at himself and frowning and pouting a little in disaproval, then closed the robes, climbed the bed on his side, questioning if sleeping by her side was already something twisted and perverted. The nightmares though...they stopped for good when she was close and he was getting addicted to sleeping well.
He got comfy and closed his eyes, and almost napping, he woke up feeling the pressure of his body against his, and her voice, so pretty and calming like usual. "I did bad things. That alone pretty much justifies it." He knew it was a lot more than that, but it was not wrong. "It's also about being afraid and...not knowing what I can do or what I did in the past." He could feel his cheeks warmer as she curled next to him.
Ruth yawned, her hands holding onto his arm as she pressed her cheek to his shoulder. If she wasn't so tired, she would have decided then that she never wanted to give this up. Having someone to sleep next to, someone who wouldn't hurt her but swore to protect her, it felt good. He was particularly warm, hot even. So much so that Ruth regretted wearing the warm pjs and wished she would have worn thin ones. She pulled at her own robe, trying to wiggle out of it because of the heat.
"I guess that makes sense," she said sleepily. "But even then... You're plenty nice to me. So... nice and... gentle..." Yawns kept interrupting her words as her mind started to fall asleep. Since she was falling into unconsciousness, she couldn't quite remember if she was really speaking or if this was a dream. "And...warm... and handsome and... warm–" Her voice fell off as her limbs relaxed against him. Her breathing evened out as she curled into his warmth.
Her dreams started to resemble the ones she'd had before. Memories that weren't hers, not as violent or sad as other ones, but a lonely dark apartment which slowly bled into a hot and desperate scene of John again. His voice rang in her ears, that uneven gravely sound, somewhere between being high and low. It must have been from sleeping close and all that heat, because even in her sleep Ruth was growing extremely warm. Her body shivered against John's as her cheeks and ears and a splotchy place on her chest slowly turned pink. But instead of pulling away, Ruth pressed herself closer as if it would help. It was like she could feel the anxitey in his body and wanted to get it out any way she could. Even if it was just in a dream...
The way she grabbed his arm, like that would make sure he wouldn't fade away, it made him feel so important. He was a stranger and she chose to curl there, against him. A safe spot. Honestly though, he knew they weren't strangers anymore. Friends. That felt nice. It made his lips smile softly, made his chest feel lighter. "Mnm." He hummed as she spoke, her voice sounding so sleepy and so cute- until she said handsome and his eyes widened in surprise.
What? Handsome? Him? Had she missed the scars in his face? The dark rings under his eyes that seemed permanent by now. Handsome? He smiled a little in a mix of ego and disbelief. She sure had an odd taste in men. The way she wiggled out of her robe though, pressing herself against him- he felt it should be a crime if she wasn't so damn adorable. The urge to keep her safe was crazy, the urge to comfort her, to suddenly maybe build a whole lifetime with her- and where did the last one come from??
As she curled closer against John, he made sure to try and keep his cock hidden between his legs, away from her. He could feel his thighs brush against the soft sheets, which was lovely, but maybe he should have considered wearing something instead of just those robes. But then what's the point? She had given it to him, if he was to wear pajamas then why to even wear it? The damn was amazingly comfy that was the main point, being naked under it after a shower felt like heaven. But now...he could feel himself leaking transparent liquid between his thighs, tensing them together or touching his knees was useless- his cheeks were blushing in shame as he failed to hold the wetness, and since he was failing it, why not realize how her breasts had wiggled when she did, how they were perfect, how he could see their outline under her pajamas, how they felt warm against him, how he felt the tip of her nibble brush against his bare chest at some point when she moved? And that long perfect hair, so soft and it always seemed to smell so good.
"Handsome my ass..." He pouted a little, trying to push the whole idea away (and failing)- damn, he had to admit it, sleeping like that hugging her felt like heaven. Heaven. The moment he allowed himself to try and relax to sleep, he felt he got the sheet down there all wet- he considered getting rid of that, but moving from there would wake her up, which would be a crime. He just cupped himself, giving his tip gentle strokes with his thumb, relaxing himself to sleep while keeping it covered with his hand to be more careful- which was all in vain the moment he felll asleep and moved anyway.
He was dreaming again, and it wasn't the usual horrendous nightmare. It was just his flat and the lonelyness of it. And Ruth was there. That made him feel so happy, so happy. She was there in his world now. He'd run to her the moment he saw her, he was just a kid again, and he'd crash against her hugging so tight in such a clumsy way, nuzzling so much against her stomach- and that urge to cry as if he had been found after so long. He wanted to ask her to go play with him, but he really didn't know how- so he kept hugging her tight, his 6 year olf self, maybe a bit older, he was such a thin small child for so long- he'd look up at her and smile, like the dream was a safe spot to show all he felt without any restrictions, no need to act tough or serious, he could just hug her smile so happily.
Her hug was draining away all the agony and anxiety that used to haunt his heart. His child self would grip Ruth's shirt in the dream, point at how that dark flat had parts of it that were starting to look different, the kitchen had become something more like her kitchen, and it was covered in warm light and a cozy feeling, he'd pull her gently, but with so much energy to show how some parts of the flat had changed, and then he'd attack hug her again, his long black hair getting messy from nuzzing her so much, his little arms tight around her- that kid looked so happy she was there, like he had been trapped in that place for ages.
Ruth kept dreaming that John was a kid. Not her kid necessarily, but one she needed to look after and protect. He'd run to her and hug her. She'd keep him safe from all the things that tried to harm him. Maybe that was why she was able to like him so much, Ruth saw past everything he was and saw to the child he had been. The one with no friends or family, the one who had needed kindness but was never shown any. So Ruth hugged the child tightly, vowing she would find a way to always keep him safe.
It was still dark when she woke up. The room was peaceful, but a strange feeling tugged at her chest. She chalked it up to being anxious about her family. Not wanting to wake John, Ruth pulled away very slowly. He needed to sleep still. He looked so peaceful when he slept, almost like the kid she'd seen in her dreams. Giving a small smile, she placed a kiss on John's forehead, a signal that he could keep resting and she'd watch out for him.
Nodding for Grumpy to come with her, Ruth grabbed her robe and headed quietly downstairs to just enjoy the silence of the morning. She slipped on her mud boots, opening the door to let the dog out while she went to search for eggs. The air felt thin. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. There was no threat around at all, leaving Ruth to brush off the feeling. She kept getting distracted by her dream, by how much John needed someone to look after him. He was older than her, but was it wrong to want to fill that role? After she finished gathering eggs, Ruth started back toward the house. Realizing she hadn't seen the dog, she turned to call for him.
"Grumpy!" There was no reply. That was odd. Frowning, Ruth placed the basket of eggs by the door and walked back out toward the yard. "Grumpy? Come here, boy–"
A figure in the grass made her stop. Panic shot through her. Racing to the dog, Ruth felt her eyes well with tears. He didn't look hurt, but he was whining pained breaths. "Grumpy? Oh my gosh..." There was no sign of another animal or a monster. So what had happened? Ruth was about to stand and run for John when something hit the back of her neck. It felt like a bug bite.
"Ow..." Ruth picked at the spot, seeing a small pellet. "What the–" Her vision started to get dizzy and her knees contacted the ground. Something grabbed her. It was strong like John, but not warm like him. Her mind screamed at her to fight, but her limbs wouldn't move. "Wait–" she protested weakly. She was moving. What about Grumpy? What about her parents? John? It felt hard to breathe. Her body hit something metalic and hard. She grunted, trying to blink away the dizziness. "Stop–" Her vision was faiding. The soft cries of the dog filled the space as a thud resounded next to her. Ruth tried to crawl toward the remaining blurr of light. "Please!"
It was gone as she collapsed again. "John," she whispered, as if calling out to him. She was supposed to keep him safe today. "John..." Her consciousness faded as the attackers dissappeared, leaving the small homestead in a quiet peace which hid the fact that the soul of the place had been taken from it.
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Summary: Conflicts with John make you realize he might not be the stupidest member of the gang. cw: ANGST, omg so much angst, pining kind of?, forced proximity (ft. Hosea), more angst, gn reader, only a few uses of "y/n" (im sorry)
A/n: hey divas. So, im very convinced this is kinda bs, but i needed to write something. Gah i love writing and not writing has made me get sloppy. I feel like i can never get john right, which is odd since hes my fave of all time. Anyway, this idea was rolling around in my head and angst is easier for me to brainstorm than anything else, so knock yourselves out 💖 and shout out to all the peers who pressured for me to finish, yall rock
John Marston was an infuriating man.
One minute he was perfectly friendly. The next, he acted as if he hardly knew you. He was a whiny and pathetic son of a bitch, but he was unfortunately handsome.
Infuriating and complicated. That’s what he was. How could a man be so competent at robbing and killing, but so clueless about everything else. You hated it. You hated how he had been your best friend. How he had not only left the gang, but left you. How he’d come back with his tail between his legs. How he still wasn’t a good father to Jack. How he always fought with Abigail. How he still caught your glances and how he still treated you as if nothing had changed.
What a stupid man.
You’d always been a little jealous of Abigail. He’d chosen her… sort of. Even now, he chose to argue with her. What you wouldn’t give for a good argument with John Marston. That seemed pretty terrible of you, to wish for attention from a man who clearly had no intentions of being a good partner to anyone…
Not that you wanted him as one. Heavens no. What a silly idea.
But one real conversation… like old times. It was a futile hope. Deep down, you knew you cared for him too much. You knew it would never work. Some things weren’t meant to. Maybe not even the gang. Things had been rough lately, and you were contemplating the idea of leaving. Of going north maybe. Of getting out before it was too late. You’d seen gangs fall apart before and had a feeling the Van der Linde Gang would end messily.
“You alright?” The calm voice of Hosea Matthews cut through your thoughts.
You looked up from where you were washing the dishes. You were hardly paying attention, the task becoming mindless as you lost yourself in your own mind. Looking at the older man, you shrugged, knowing it was difficult to lie to him.
“Don’t know,” you stated.
Hosea gave a sympathetic laugh. “That’s usually a good indicator that you aren’t.” He didn’t pry, but gave a knowing blink. Hosea Matthews had a keen talent for knowing what was going on in the camp before most of the other gang members did.
“Would you mind going to town for me?” He asked casually. “There are some supplies Susan needs. It might be good for you to get out for a little.” He gave a small smile, nodding toward a wagon that was already suspiciously hitched. You raised an eyebrow as Hosea’s eyes scanned the camp. “Maybe take some muscle with you too. I think we need flour and those bags can be heavy… Ah!”
You followed his gaze to where he waved at where the lean, and rather grumpy, looking man was walking by. You frowned immediately.
John looked up, seeing the motion of Hosea’s hand out the corner of his eye.
“Why, take this strapping young man,” Hosea teased as he waved John Marston over. The younger outlaw frowned, glancing at you before looking back at Hosea. “John, you’ve been volunteered to help y/n in town.”
John stared in confusion. He didn’t really like being told what to do. He also didn’t like doing chores. And he hated the idea of being forced into a situation alone with the person he was trying to avoid. “I’m kinda busy,” he grumbled. Though he clearly was not busy.
“It’ll just be a quick trip,” Hosea insisted as he shooed you toward the wagon. You gave an annoyed huff as you shot a glare at John. He wasn’t looking at you, but he could feel the angry look.
It was not, in fact, a short trip.
The ride there felt too long. Silence stretched between the two outlaws the entire ride into Rhodes. The heavy warmth of the day hung like a wet blanket over the green countryside. Red dust swirled in the air as the hot wind swept through the trees.
You had retrieved the supplies fairly quickly, but John was being stubborn. He hardly helped, only leaning against the wagon and picking at his nails with his knife.
"A little help?" You asked with an annoyed huff after you placed a heavy sack of flour in the back of the wagon.
John looked up, his dark eyes rolling as he huffed. "You seem to be doing just fine." The man reluctantly lifted a much lighter looking crate and walked slowly to the back of the wagon before pushing it in. You rolled your eyes back, grumbling that he should have just stayed at camp.
Your time in town lasted longer than it should have. After you finished loading the wagon, you looked around, unsurprised to see that John was missing. "That bastard," you huffed. You spent near twenty minutes wandering around before you found him nursing a beer behind the parlor house. You had been worried that something might have happened to him, but of course he had run off for a drink. It made you feel silly for getting anxious about losing him. "The hell are you doing?" You interrogated, snatching the bottle away from him. A frown quickly set itself on his face. "You don't just go off without saying so."
"You ain't in charge of me," John wheezed in annoyance.
Even his voice was irritating. You glared, grabbing his arm to drag him back to the wagon. "Let's just go," you muttered. It was much too hot for this. Whatever peace Hosea though could be made between the two of you was a futile hope, seeing as you didn't really want to be on good terms with him at the moment.
As the wagon rocked out of town, you could only fume at how difficult John was. He was being intentionally irritating, you could tell. You'd known him well enough to understand what his dramatic huffs and snarky tone meant.
"You're being a real pain in the ass," you stated, hating the silence more than you hated the man.
John glanced at you, his eyes narrowing. He didn't understand why you were so angry. It was clear that whatever had been between you two was long dead. He was just trying to move past it... Sort of. Watching you pull away had felt like betrayal to him. So he pulled back. He was angry at how self-righteous you acted... as if he hadn't been hurt too.
"Yeah, well, the feeling is mutual."
How dare he? You turned to glare harshly. You thought it was pretty childish of him to act like this was all somehow your fault. He was the one who left. Before sound could make its way past your lips, a loud snap sent the wagon jolting to the side. You rocked forward onto John before the wagon finally sank into place.
Pulling back quickly, you blinked in embarrassment. You felt your face heat up and you quickly jumped down to assess the damage. A broken wheel. Great.
Just was this day needed.
"Lift!" John growled.
"I am lifting!" You shot back.
You'd been stuck on the side of the road for close to an hour now, trying to fix the wheel. It was nearing dark. You had thought about riding into town, or back to camp for help, but with night approaching, it didn't seem very safe to be wandering. But it also didn't seem safe to stay on the side of the road.
"How hard can it be to fix one damn wheel?" You snapped at him as he stared at the now splintered wheel from the failed attempt at returning it to its place.
John huffed. "Well, it'd be easier without all your incessant yapping."
"Oh, don't blame your incompetence on me." You crossed your arms. "I don't think I've ever met a more stupid man in my whole life."
The outlaw's ears and cheeks turned a bright pink. He looked pissed... and a little pathetic. It had become common place for him to be the butt of jokes and taunts. He knew he probably deserved it after all the shit he had pulled, but he guessed he'd long since attoned for that sin.
"Ain't my fault it's broken," he stated, his teeth grinding together like stones.
"Sure. Always shifting the blame. Have you ever taken responsibility once in your life? Have you ever sucked it up and just did what needed doin' instead of acting like some useless bastard?" Deep down, you knew it was unfair to blame him entirely. But all that anger from before had finally found an outlet.
John moved close to you, unable to contain his anger any longer. "Call me useless again and I'll put a bullet through your skull."
Your lip curled in disgust before you swung your fist. John stumbled back. His eyes flashed as he spun around, tackling you to the ground. It was probably a pathetic sight, two grown outlaws fighting like children. You pushed at his chets, and he tried to wrangle your hands.
"Get off me, jackass!" You yelled.
Grabbing hold of your wrists, John pinned them forcefully to the ground above your head. A terrifying smirk crossed his lips. He was mad. He was insecure. He was confused and tired and... well, John didn't know what to feel about anything anymore. "Thought you liked me on you," he taunted.
Your mind stuttered in an embarrassed shock. Blood pounded in your ears as you tried to fight him. "Shut the hell up."
It was stupid. Utterly stupid, how you could be so angry at him and still find your heart fluttering at the sight of him. Your eyes flashed, betraying you. The orange light of the sunset was dimming as darkness continued to approach. For a long moment, the two of you just stared at one another.
A realization hit you both.
That this would never work. That it was all too little too late. You both had been hurt. And now you both had to deal with the consequences of your actions. John's year away, and the weight of responsibility over a family landed heavily on his shoulders. And you knew there was no room for you in it. Maybe that's why you had been angry.
That he, even if unintentionally, had chosen something else over you.
"Marston–"
"Don't," John said. He wasn't a man for sappy words. And as stupid as he was... he'd been fooling himself the whole time. Pretending to be dumb was easier than facing the truth. But he was running out of time. Hiding wasn't a luxury he could afford anymore. Pulling back, John stood before turning toward the broken wheel. "I'll ride to camp," he said, unhitching one of the horses. "Should be back soon."
You watched as he rode off.
Letting yourself lay back in the grass for a moment, you let out a long breath. It was pointless to deny now. Things were changing. And holding onto the past was only hurting the both of you.
It was late before you had finally made it back to camp. Hosea had brought a new wagon with John in tow. Between the three of you, you transferred the supplies and managed to secure the broken wagon to the back of the good one to drag it back to camp.
The ride was quiet, but not with the angst from before. There was a new sadness in the air. Hosea glanced between John, who rode ahead and you.
"Sorry this took longer than expected," he offered. "I guess that's what I get for tryin' to fix somethin' that won't be."
A sting of guilt pierced your chest. "Don't be sorry," you stated, almost flatly. "It's not your fault. It's not anyones..." The words sank into your heart. Perhaps you'd been looking at it all wrong. There was little fault to be placed on anyone. Blame was just an excuse for you to be mad at a situation. Yes, John had done wrong. But the more you thought about it, the more you realized he was probably just as terrified as you were.
"I'm leaving," you said quietly to the older man. "The past... well, the past should stay in the past." You gave a sigh. "There's different futures for the both of us. Ain't no one to blame but life... Sometimes people stay together for forever. And sometimes they don't."
Hosea glanced at you. "That sounds pretty wise... and pretty lonely." He gave a sympathetic look. "Just take care of yourself, alright?" You nodded a promise.
The camp was asleep. The wagons were left for the morning, no one wanted to deal with them anymore. You didn't look at John as you moved to your tent, quickly packing up what little you had. It was a sobering thought that you'd probably never see any of the gang again. They'd been your family... sort of. You grabbed a couple cans of beans before slinging your satchel around your shoulders and hoisting up your saddle bags. As you started toward your horse, you spotted John by one of the fires.
You were surprised he hadn't gone to bed.
The orange glow around him reminded you of a summer that seemed a century ago. A hot and reckless one when you were both stupid enough to start this whole secret fiasco between the two of you. Looking at him, for what may be the last time, you realize how much you did still care about him.
Guess we're still both pretty stupid.
His eyes glanced up at you as you secured the saddle of your horse.
"You leavin?" He asked simply. He didn't really need an answer.
You paused, turning but not looking at him. "Yeah. I am."
The silence was heavy. John felt his heart do a strange flip, like he was losing something he only just realized he had. You stared at your boots. "I'm sorry," you said, your voice more gentle now that all the anger had fizzled from your bones. "For what I said earlier–"
"Don't be," he cut in. "You were right."
His admission was shocking. You looked up at him, with a hope you knew was fleeting. Even now, you still cared. Because of course you did.
"Be well, y/n," he offered. It wasn't an apology. It wasn't a promise. But it was all he really knew how to give.
Your heart sank to your toes again.
"You too, John."
Turning, dust kicked up behind your boots. You didn't know where you'd go. Or what you would do. But you knew you'd always care. You knew you'd think about him on lonely nights, if he was okay, if he had ever changed. You knew by the time you'd be over him, you would have to change too. Maybe this was for the best.
And maybe, just maybe, if both of you changed enough, fate might see it that you'd meet again. You gave a sigh, knowing that probably wouldn't happen.
tags/warnings: sexual activity, power imbalance, dubcon (in a sense), caught in the act, lots of smoking, finger sucking, blowjob, oral fixation galore and idk if I should apologize for that or not, can be read as an age gap, also the cell is loosely based on the one in the game only because I realized too late that the descriptions I gave didn’t really resemble that one😭 this is what I get for writing things based off memory lmao
a/n: finally getting around to posting fics that have been molding in my drafts. I wrote this one per @mediocrecowboyhat’s request!!! It really means the world to know that you trust me to write about your fav older men, hat, so I hope this lives up to your expectations! also @glittergelpensherlock I thought you’d wanna read this too hehe
The slam of metal. The twist of keys. A lock secured. Iron bars obscuring your view. You scoff and turn away, arms crossed firmly.
It wasn’t like you to get caught. Especially not like this. With your face smeared, lips swollen. Public indecency. Seriously? Since when was that public indecency? I mean yeah, yeah maybe your clothes were skewed across the dusted road outside of the Armadillo saloon. And well okay yeah you might’ve been on your knees with your mouth full right in the middle of town but, public indecency?
Puhlease.
That Marshal always had it out for you. He was probably waiting, watching with some weird infatuation swirling in his eyes as you helped that friend of yours get off. Who, by the way, just ran the other direction, pants tugged up in one swift hop, while you had to face the crushing embarrassment of being locked in cuffs while naked. Naked as the day you were born.
Huffing, you plop down on the old cot thats pressed against the wall. A wall covered in piss stains and god knows what else. You’d rather not find out.
The blanket one of the deputies tossed your way is barely hanging on, revealing your bare shoulders. You pull it up with a grunt. Regretting not snatching a piece of your stray clothing before they took you away.
Now you not only have to spend however many godforsaken days they choose to keep you in this place alone, but you have to spend them cold. Bone-chillingly cold.
The ceiling is a dull, muted color. You’re lying on your back with your hands crossed over your stomach, one leg propped up, the other dangling off the side. Blanket crumpled around your waist. As you lie there bits and pieces of the conversation you overheard, just minutes ago, come back to you. Something about a canyon. And some rustlers. Real tough stuff for Mr. Big Scary Marshal to deal with. He really acts like he’s something for a guy who just sits back all day with his feet kicked up waiting for the easiest of crimes to stumble his way. Man probably doesn’t even shoot properly.
You smile at this thought, feeling pleased with yourself before the door is kicked open, startling that sly little look right off your face. Bolting upright, you tug the blanket around your body, eyes darting over to find those deputies meandering on in, no Marshal in sight. They notice you the second they’re inside. Slow, antagonistic grins pulling up their faces as they share a glance and begin to stalk your way.
“Looks like someone is enjoyin’ their new home.” The skinnier, slightly taller fella says. Who, if you recall correctly, is named Jonah.
The other guy laughs, a real come from the depths type laugh. Like that was the funniest thing he’s ever heard.
“Oh-ho, I bet they are.” He slaps Jonah on the back. “Probably real comfortable in there.”
That draws a laugh from Jonah, and now they’re both squawking like a pair of birds. You roll your eyes, moving to lie back down but before you can, the door is swung open again.
“Jonah, Eli.” Comes Leigh Johnson’s booming voice before anything else, the blinding glow of the afternoon pouring in behind him, “Leave ‘em alone.”
You watch silently, blinking away the light, as he points at the two fools. That one command causing them to retreat with their heads lowered.
Leigh Johnson is already sauntering over to his desk, hips swaying, keys and spurs jangling with each step.
He lowers himself into his chair, letting out a weary sigh and kicking his feet up. Crossing one over the other, ankles pressed together. He pulls out a cigarette, your gaze fixed on the way he shoves it between his teeth, biting down to hold it there while he leans forward and tugs a drawer open. He digs around for a second before his eyes flick upwards, keenly aware of your staring. The two of you sit there, unblinking. And then ever so slightly, his lips twitch.
“What’s got you so interested?” He drawls, leaning back with a match in hand, a hint of a smirk on his bearded face.
Your gaze darts to the floor, rotted wood and dusty bootprints catching your attention. You swallow thickly, throat bobbing.
“No need to get all shy now,” He murmurs, “‘specially not after that show you put on earlier for me and my boys.”
Heat creeps up your cheeks, your lips part on a caught breath.
“Was a reaaal nice show.” He adds, digging his heels in deeper, bruising harder. “A shame your friend bolted.”
Glancing up, you find him taking a long drag of his cigarette, a brow raised at you as he blows the smoke out through his teeth. Before finally turning away. But not without one last smirk.
One last lingering smirk.
The next few days pass you by in a blur, the swirl of a beige ceiling, restless sleep, loud bickering from Jonah and Eli, a quick flash of red fabric that one of them tossed your way. You tugged it on quickly after that, not even caring where it had been. Because you finally had some warmth besides that tattered blanket. Then came the low drawl of the Marshal and that damn smirk, all of it ringing you into a new dawn.
Sunlight spills in jagged lines through the window near your temporary cot. A groan and a yawn and then you’re stretching out your coiled limbs. Blinking bleariness away. Pushing up, you get to your feet. It’s time for your daily pacing after all. And then next on the agenda is your afternoon gripping of the cell bars, staring out pathetically like that’ll grant you freedom. Oh and you can’t forget the pout. The pout is mandatory. Or the scowl. You’re feeling more like the scowl for today.
After a couple minutes of pacing and contemplating quite literally nothing, you pause, turn on your heel, and step up to the bars. Bar gripping just has to come early today. Reaching out, you wrap your hands around them, peeking out to find the Marshal sitting at his desk with his hat covering his face. His hands are behind his head and he’s in that same old position. Looking surprisingly peaceful for a man who should be watching over his citizens. This has you scowling without even thinking about it, finding his entire career a joke. He’s a hack. A real useless idiot who just locks up whoever he sees fit to toy with that day. What a nasty, nasty cruel game. Twisted and cruel…
A game.
Huh.
You’ve always liked games.
A grin curls up your lips.
Slowly, you lean forward, pressing your face against the cool iron, angling just right.
“Marshaaaaal” you call, drawing out the word to make it echo.
This causes him to stir, somewhat, mumbling something incoherent. And your grin grows.
“Yooohooo! Marshal.” Your voice bounces all around the dilapidated building.
This time, he rips his hat off his face and tosses it atop the desk, whipping his head around frantically. You snicker under your breath, pulling away so he won’t suspect a thing. When his eyes land on you, they drag, taking in every detail as if he already knows your behind this nonsense. He turns away with a shake of his head, leaning back.
“Don’t test me.” He mutters, eyelids drooping.
You’re pacing now, pretending not to know anything. And when you glance sidelong to find him asleep once more a laugh bubbles low in your chest. Hurrying forward, your palms wrap around the cell. Then you’re shouting something else, the first thing that comes to mind.
“Up and ready, Marshal!” Your voice wavers with another laugh as you watch him shoot upright, scrambling to get to his feet. Then he’s turning towards you, top lip twitching with barely suppressed anger.
“You think that’s funny?” He grits.
You blink and then shrug, “Thought we were playing a game.”
“A game?” He takes a step forward
“Mhm. A game.”
“You think this is a game?”
“I dunno, seemed like it with all that smirking and glancing my way.” You gesture toward him, referencing the past few days, “Thought maybe you were messing with me.”
His jaw twitches in response. You can’t help but grin further.
“Stop that.” He grunts, narrowing his eyes.
“Stop what?” You feign.
“Grinning like you won something.”
“Oh but I did.”
His feet move swiftly and before you know it he’s in front of you, fingers clawing into the collar of your shirt. Wiping that grin right off your face, eliciting a gasp. Then he tugs you forward, your body pressed harshly against those rough bars, rattling now with the force.
“You’re a worthless bastard.” He spits out, gaze tearing into yours, face inches away. Something flashes in his eyes and then he’s letting go, pulling back as if you burned him. “And I’m tired of you.” He adds, almost as an afterthought. Like that’ll get him out of this.
Blinking, you stand there dumbfounded, reeling and a bit wobbly from whatever just happened. You saw that look. That flick of a flame. The way his fingers dug into your shirt, the way your feet lifted off the ground just enough so you were at his height.
Is the marshal… smitten with you?
How could you have missed any of it?
Any of this
this exhilarating game.
As more days pass in a tension filled haze, it doesn’t get any less exhilarating. If anything, that flame you saw in the depths of his irises has started burning brighter the more you two exchange secret looks and silent conversations. If anything, it seems like he’s recalling what you looked like on your knees. And hating himself for it.
It’s weird. Being lusted after by a lawman. Weird but flattering. Flattering in a strange way. You still don’t like him. Whatsoever. But it’s nice to know that the old man hasn’t lost his spark and that you haven’t either.
You keep catching him when he thinks no one else is looking. Catching the way his gaze flicks over to you the second his deputies leave. The way it lingers on your barely covered skin. It makes you shudder. An abnormal feeling gurgling inside that always leaves you questioning your own thoughts. And your dietary choices.
You’re lying on your back again, hands behind your head, one leg propped up. The most comfortable position you could find on this godforsaken cot. Your eyes are shut and a quiet peace has fallen over the cramped space. The last you knew, Leigh Johnson sent those two bumbling idiots out to deal with some drunk fool causing a ruckus. Leaving him and you here. Alone. It seems he’s too busy scanning a newspaper to look your way. You know it’s coming soon though. That heavy stare. Lingering for days.
And right on time, you feel it. The burn of it seeping under your clothes, caressing your skin. Slowly, you peek one eye open, turning your head just enough to catch him observing you. He looks utterly lost in thought, just as you expected. Cigarette dangling haphazardly from his lips, newspaper forgotten. You watch as he sets it down and gets to his feet. Planning something.
Then he’s storming to the front of your cell, reaching towards his key loop. This has you sitting up abruptly, swinging your legs over the side of your cot. Keys jangle as he sifts through them. Finally, he’s shoving one into the lock and twisting it, pulling the door open with a loud creak.
Both of you pause, your breath catching, his fingers curling before neither of you can hold back. He’s surging forward first, grabbing you by your shirt and tugging you upwards, your hands bracing against his chest as his lips crash into yours. It’s messy. Beard scraping against skin, saliva colliding. Your nails dig into his vest, his arms wrap around you. Then he’s spinning you around and slamming you against the stained wall, pulling back with his chest heaving.
“You’ve fucked with me long enough.”
Quick to recover you narrow your eyes, letting out an incredulous, but albeit, breathy laugh, “oh have I now?”
All it takes is one little wiggle for you to slip away, flipping this on its head. You stand behind him, arms raised, sly grin on your face as he turns to look at you, upper lip twitching with something else entirely now. His hand darts out but you dodge it.
“Gonna have to try harder than that, Marshal.” You tease, taking a slow step backward. “I ain’t that easy to catch.”
This starts up an absolutely thrilling little game: you taking languorous steps backward, finally out of your cage, and him, stalking forward without much thought. Every time he thinks he’s close enough to finally win, you just duck away with a laugh. Leaving him fuming.
The second you make it to the desk you’re diving into his chair, plopping down and sitting there like you own the place. Kicking your feet up as he stops in his tracks, watching you. You grin before reaching out to tug a drawer open, trying to find something.
“Aha!” You exclaim once you finally do, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and flicking them open. Then you shove one in your mouth and bite down on it a bit awkwardly.
Grabbing a match, you keep your gaze focused on the Marshal as he stands there. Watching. Entirely enraptured by you. That elicits a shudder, the cigarette lit shakily before you lean back again, sucking on it and pulling it away to puff out the smoke.
Quickly, Leigh Johnson is moving toward you, stopping right in front of the desk, his palms slapping against it. He reaches forward, tugging the cigarette from your lips and pushing it past his own. You swallow, mouth now parted as you watch him smoke before he’s shoving it back to you abruptly.
With the cigarette back in your possession and a wicked idea stirring in your mind, your gaze doesn’t waver. You wrap your lips around the tip of it. Obscenely. Then let out a low hum, knowing just what that’ll do to him.
“Don’t do that.” He demands, fingers twitching.
“Do what?”
You’re tugging the cigarette from your mouth just to do it again. Giving him a rather sensual show, tongue twirling around the tip, gaze never leaving his. The taste is awful but it’s worth it given how he’s reacting. Restraining himself from doing the very thing you know he’ll regret. Then one last time you pull it out. Breathing in too fast and choking on the excess of smoke.
Coughing, you lean forward, trying and failing to catch your breath. Gripping at the edge of the desk and wheezing for air. He is by your side before you know it, patting your back to help you breathe. And after a few life altering seconds, you take in a sputtering breath, slumping back.
“That.” He says, shaking his head.
You glance upward, giving him an awkward smile in return as your chest heaves. The moment having shifted into something else entirely. Something that has him clearing his throat and you looking away. Both too ashamed to face it.
You really can’t help the way your eyes wander to him after that whole. Situation. His natural swagger, that sway of his hips with each step. Fuck. It’s hypnotizing. The way he commands a room just by stepping into it. God. It’s absolutely thrilling.
Blinking, you grimace at these thoughts. This is the man you’re lusting after? Some puny Marshal in an even more puny town. Pfft, you never had great taste. But this is just sad. I guess the body wants what the body wants. Still it’s sad that your body wants Marshal Leigh Johnson. Wants him so bad it aches.
You cough, shifting into a sitting position and staring off through the slatted bars in front of you. The view into your neighbor cell. It hadn’t been occupied until yesterday. When Eli came barging in with some slouched over guy in his grasp. He shoved him and then slammed the door, swiping his hands together. Feeling proud of himself. Too proud.
Your neighbor gave you one look and decided you were enemy number one on his list. Sending a lethal glare your way as if you were the sole reason for his punishment. It was entertaining at least, seeing just how mad you could get him with nothing more than your presence.
Last night, after your oh-so friendly first meeting, he yet again gave you what you can only assume is his signature I fucking hate you and want you dead glare and you smiled. Smiled the brightest you’ve ever smiled. Which he took quite poorly, to say the least. Stomping over to his cot and tearing the blanket off like a wolf ripping flesh.
Quite. The. Animal. That man is. A real animal.
Now he’s asleep, snoring louder and louder as time ticks on. It’s driving you mad and so is everything else, really. Leigh Johnson barely stepping foot in here after that whole ordeal. Keeping himself busy with whatever it is he does with that authority of his. Jonah and Eli being as insufferable as ever. And you, still locked away in this godforsaken cell. Kept here like some useless pet. Only needed when the Marshal sees fit.
You groan, sliding your hands down your face and flopping onto your back, peeking up at the ceiling through your fingers. The ceiling that you’ve become more than acquainted with at this point.
A swirl of beige. Sandy, inviting. Nice upon first glance but boring soon after.
So.
Damn.
Boring.
The front door creaks open, boots thud against hardwood. Forcing your attention away from the same old ceiling and over to the person who just entered.
It’s the vest, clinging tightly to the soft skin underneath, that you notice first. Then your eyes drag upward, up to that face. Chin shrouded with grey facial hair, skin wrinkled taut around his nose and eyes.
You suck in a breath at the sight. He sneaks a glance your way, pausing.
The two of you stare, bodies freezing, lips parting. And then he’s making a detour to your cell, sifting for that key once again. It’s quicker this time. The door swinging open, his body looming over you in seconds. You keep your gaze locked on his as you sit up. Holding eye contact.
It’s intimate.
Too intimate.
He reaches out, fingers curling around your chin, tilting your head up.
“Damn you. You’re all I can think of.” He admits, voice gruff, “It’s torture.”
Oh that’s cute. Real cute. The edge of your lips twitch with the implication.
“Why?” You whisper, leaning forward.
“Cause I shouldn’t be thinking ‘bout you. Not like this.”
“Like what?”
This time your question isn’t to mock or annoy, but more to inquire. To get a real answer from him. To hear what it is he wants. Even if it’s clear.
He breathes in, eyes wandering down to the quirk of your lips.
It’s very clear what he wants.
“Like this.” He exhales, fingers tightening around your chin.
So. very. clear.
“Oh.” You squeak out through your grin, “like this?”
Your face is hovering in front of his crotch now, tongue sliding out to wet your lips. Slowly. Slow enough that he’ll notice. Because that’s exactly what he wants and you know it. You’ve known it from the start.
He doesn’t respond, just watches you while dragging his thumb up to your mouth, over that sliver of tongue. You catch on quickly, parting your lips enough so his finger can fit inside.
You hum the second it slides in, the taste a jolt to your senses. Salty and dirty and metallic. Blood and grime that hasn’t been washed away licked up slowly, teasingly. It’d be disgusting in any other context, but not now. Not with him looking at you in this way. Desperate for more. You let out a muffled little laugh, pulling away from his thumb with a wet pop, tongue hanging out.
He doesn’t waste any time. Hand already darting to his belt to get it undone, metal sliding through leather. Fabric drops from his thighs, pools around his ankles to reveal the exhilarating sight of his erect cock. You stare a moment, excitement palpable now that you get a good look at what he has to offer. Then you glance upward, an amused glint passing from you to him.
“You really have been thinking about me, Marshal.”
“I don’t lie.” He crosses his arms, hips jutting ever so slightly, “Now, pretend I’m that little friend of yours and make it quick. I don’t got much patience.”
A pause follows, your eyes widening at his boldness before you reach out, hand hovering over him.
“Oh, but you’re better.” You reply, dragging your gaze down to his erection. Uncut and thick. “Much better.”
You curl your fingers around him, the thickness pressed just right against your palm, your tongue lolling out. Prepared. He groans lowly. The first touch electric and the anticipation for what’s to come upping the ante.
“That’s good.” He grunts, chasing the friction with a small thrust into your hand. Revealing his glimmering tip, your eyes dart from it to his own watchful gaze. He smirks, waiting to see what you’ll do next.
You lean forward, enough for you to obscure that obnoxious smirk. Tongue slowly making contact with him, lapping up a bead of precum before it can drip to the floor. His response is a full body shudder, smirk erased in seconds, hand gripping at the side of your face as you finally. Finally, wrap your lips around him.
Eyes fluttering shut, you don’t think. Just move. Taking him in and out of your mouth becoming a much easier task the more your saliva slathers every. thick. inch. The sounds quickly morph into something obscene, loud and uncaring. And wet. Extremely wet. His groans reverberate off the walls, your slick mouth and muffled gasps around him create just as much of a symphony. He can’t help himself, hips surging forward, hand guiding your movements. Its dizzying. Exactly what the both of you need after all that “pining.” If you can really call it that.
“You’re good.” He grits out, head falling back. “So fucking good.”
You speed up your efforts to thank him for the praise, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat with each bob of your head. Causing you to gag in the best way possible. Pleasure bursting through you at the feeling, tongue sliding over the veiny underside of him. Bringing it all to new heights. Pushing him and yourself closer and closer and -
There’s a sound. A different kind of sound. A low stirring and a deeper groan that is loud enough to be heard over the two of you. Snapping everything back to reality.
In a flash, you’re pulling off him, chest heaving with shallow breaths, throat aching. He’s tugging his pants up, tucking himself back inside as you two cautiously glance through the slats beside you. Into the neighboring cell.
There you find your unfriendly neighbor rousing from sleep, narrowing his bleary gaze at the sight in front of him. Obviously trying to discern who’s there and what’s going on. When he can make out the Marshal, his eyebrows shoot up.
“What the hell is happening?!” He shouts.
Leigh Johnson moves, quick. Hands raised, giving you one last lingering look before turning away. Stepping out of the cell and locking it.
“I was checking on them,” he explains, back turned to you as his steps slow behind his desk, “Just making sure they kept their mouth shut.”
Your neighbor scoffs, shaking his head in pure disgust while turning to lie back down. You, on the other hand, sit there without much care, spit dribbling down your chin, lips parting into a grin. Because you know this isn’t the last the Marshal will be needing you. Nowhere near.
Dividers
second a/n: this really wasn’t supposed to be as long it is but I was having a blast dragging out the tension and I could not stop writing lmao also i haven’t written smut in a while so um I’m a bit rusty and ten times more shy than usual so no one look at me. but i do hope it was enjoyable
(leigh johnson was supposed to be in the header but the photos of him were pissing me off so I said bye bye leigh, the other poorly put together photos were taken by yours truly🙂↕️👍)
When Ruth offered her hand started to pet Grumpy, the animal immediately melted into her touches, understanding she was one of the good people, his tail wagging so much, the little jumps he would give as she scratched behind his ears, and it just stayed there, enjoying all the pets, and when she paused, he'd stand, pressing both his paws against her chest, sniffing her all over, letting out happy little cries.
"Huh. He likes you. That's....that's actually rare. Normally he's grumpy to people and people are grumpy back or just scared because of his size.
The dog had a lot of soft skin to be pet because of its age, and it seemed to be a very calm animal.
The thunders started to hit loudly again, the power oscillating, as if the typhoon was trying to catch up.
"Thanks for helping." John said once he locked the door and went downstairs, Grumpy jumping onto the backseat and curling on his place, already preparing to take a nap. Traveling made it sleepy.
"Hey...you'll be home in no time, alright?" If he wasn't used to be acting rough, maybe he'd be saying a lot more, offering a hug or apologizing about everything, but it was his job and he needed to keep her safe.
The storm was quite violent as they left town. The power oscillating outside, some trees had fallen, some lower areas were flooding. The amount of water that started falling from the sky was formidable to say the least. Gladly John's driving was good, the truck was robust and they weren't having any problems. Because of how late it was, the streets were mostly empty, and one they got to the suburban area, he felt like he was in one of those liminal spaces, the sky so dark, absolute silence but the sound of the car engine, the lights outside limited to each house, all the rest, the fields, the distance, all seemed so pitch black.
John even shivered at some point, it was getting so cold. He looked to the side to see Ruth, she seemed so...she seemed so sick. Exhausted. He felt bad for her. The address, he didn't even need a GPS, until they were close to Cholla Springs. Gently he poked her shoulder. "Hey, we're almost there. Cheer up a little...." He tried, but he was a bit tired too.
Once he parked by her little ranch like property, he also let a sigh of relief. "If anyone asks....remember to say what we talked. That some maniac was stalking you....destroyed your car...I'm keeping you safe for a few days, alright?" He wasn't aware she was totally alone. He imagined at least a parent, sibling or boyfriend would be around, but...the place seemed so damn quiet.
"Come on, let's wake up, boy, we arrived."
Grumpy started wagging its tail and looking around, jumping off the car as soon as John opened the door, the animal froze when it felt the fresh breeze of the fields, of countryside.
'Awoooofff wooof wooffff wofff wuuuuuff wufff wuffff!' It started to hop in circles as John tried to remove the leash. "Easy boy...I'm trying to take this off...." Once John did, the dog bolted towards the house, jumping and rolling on the green grass, resting on its back and wiggling its paws up.
"Huh. I've never seen this big boy so energetic. I guess being here for a while will do him good" He smirked at little as he took his things from the car, rushing inside following Ruth. The rain had taken a short break before it started hitting hard again. John waited before walking in. "Where is everyone?" He asked, finding everything too silent.
"Grumpy, come boy, or you'll get all wet." Marston took a towel from his bag, crouched down to dry the animal, it seemed so happy, it made John chuckle. "Give them paws....let's dry your feet....good boy..."
"Miss...thanks for accepting me here, even if...." He sighed. "Well, even if there wasn't much of a better option. I'll explain everything tomorrow when you're well rested..."
Where did she go?
"Alright...I'll take the room upstairs then. Thank you. Could I maybe take a shower?" The dark rings under his eyes seemed larger, driving amidst that storm, the damn typhoon, which was threatening to get worse made him extra tired. "Can Grumpy sleep inside?"
Where was she? He was holding a pistol, ready to give it to her, but....where?
"Maybe tomorrow then....I guess everyone's tired."
He saw the bunny in the kitchen, it seemed so angry for some reason. "Hey little feller."
Marston didn't know if Ruth would allow his dog upstairs, so he took Grumpy's bed and placed near the bunny, by the small pen in the kitchen. "Behave, boy. Don't mess anything up, we're guests." The huge scary german shepherd curled down and started to whine though, crying to John, giving the puppy eyes. 'Abueh bueh bueh bueh bueh....' He sighed. "It's her house...and...just tonight..."
The dog rolled on his back and started to move its paws in the air as if it was dying. "Oh no need for drama...come on. Come on. You ain't alone, there's the bunny there." Grumpy paused and looked at Dinner. The little bunny looked like a fur ball of pure rage. Grumpy looked back at John, cried and jumped up to curl on his lap, Marston had to catch him.
"You're afraid of it?? Oh...why?? Well....it does look angry....alright...I'm taking you to my room with me...but no noise, no mess, alright? You already peed outside, right? Not wet cocks staining the floor, alright? It's a lady's house." He kept drying the animal with the towel, in more detail now since it was coming inside. "Your chest is all wet...play in the grass tomorrow, okay?" Grumpy rested his head on John's shoulder and closed its eyes to rest, loving the caresses of the towel. "You're such a big baby. You're getting heavy." John carried the animal and its bed upstairs, and he had no idea which room was his.
He set down the dog bed on the corridor and gently placed Grumpy on it. "Just a minute, boy."
John had left his boots by the porch, stepping silently to inspect if that was the right room, and the moment he looked, his lips parted as he saw the lady, naked on her bed, spread on soft sheets- he froze. The memory of what he had seen at the scanner room, and now again, that perfect body, and she seemed so relaxed. Her thighs and delicate legs, her ribs and that soft skin, those perfect breasts and that golden hair. He blushed, even stopped breathing for a while, eyes locked on her, feeling guilty each second he admired her, her perfect bottom, she seemed like a holy statue and he hadn't felt so horny in such a long time. "Mnm." He gave an awkward nod and stepped back and out of her room, cheeks and ears warm and red, he silently made his way to his own room. "Oh boy....she must be so tight." He panted and shook his head as he opened the other room, carrying his things inside, Grumpy grunting a little a John's comment, as if judging his owner. "Ah don't you start, I know what you do to the Santa Klaus plushie." The dog looked offended as it followed John carrying his little bed with his mouth.
Once his things were in the room, he felt sleep hit him, but he needed a shower. He was smelling precinct and that molded big city. Smelling like Blackwater, and that town, it was...different, he felt a shower there would make him feel pure and clean, like countryside.
He went to to shower, turned on the water, relaxed finally, the only tension left in him was the one seeing her all nude caused. Oh how he wanted to have that woman, he knew thoughts like that were his entrance ticket to hell, but....the thought of she asking for it...and him having her sweetly on that bed of hers....ughh....he closed his eyes and kept imagining it as he washed himself and relieved that tension.
Once he was done and had dried himself, he also felt the last of his energy gone when he got close to his bed. His bare feet against the wooden floor felt right and relaxing, he also sunk into his bed, didn't even pull the sheets, he just rested on top of them, his dark hair spread on the pillow- Grumpy was sleeping on his little dog one when he checked, but didn't take long until he felt the animal jumping onto it, resting by his side. Since John looked so peaceful and so tired, the dog respected his space this time. The rain outside, the wooden noises caused by the wind, it was all so relaxing. Didn't take long for him to hug a pillow, dreaming about her, her lips, those breasts, that perfect spot between her thigh and her sides. "Dang....why did she have to look so.....so perfect like that, Grumpy...." The hot water that relaxed him for good, he was so calm and sleepy he even seemed to be drugged. "I'll wake up hard like hell for sure....mnmhg...she's so perfect..."
The dog grunted at John, judging him again, wanting to sleep. "Alright....I'll shut up....just...this pillow is mine...."
He blacked out, had very sweet dreams, and for the first time in years, he didn't have a nightmare. He just...loss track of everything, he just slept. Slept for so many hours.
His phone vibrated a couple of hours later, but he didn't even notice. If not shaken, he probably would sleep until noon, it had been the best sleep ever, breathing in and out, using the pillows as cover, he even forgot who he was or where he was.
@girllock-writes
Ruth had smiled at Grumpy. She thought it was funny that John called him her husband... obviously, Grumpy was a dog, but Ruth thought that she wouldn't mind a man like that. Capible, but also so willing to show affection. Her fingers brushed his fur, scratching behind his ears. She felt safe, slottwed between the agent and his dog. Like nothing in the world could get to her.
She listened quietly when John spoke, feeling the heavy sort of energy his words carried. All that pain and numbess, it would drive her crazy. He'd been through so much. It was a crude story to hear, but Ruth just kept herself next to him, wishing that she could do anything to make him forget that pain. He was supposed to be safe in her house, safe from the memories and trauma of his past. He was free to speak of them, but Ruth prayed they wouldn't haunt him here. Though his past was sad, part of her found it slightly impressive that he had survived so much. John was a man of great skill and Ruth knew that was something to be admired. The scars didn't look like wounds to her, but more like trophies... the world had tried to destroy him but he had survived and told it to go fuck itself.
Her eyes returned to him when he commanded her to answer. She really realllly didn't want to. There was a coldness to his voice, one she hadn't heard since she'd met him. Her eyes blinked up at him, knowing she should listen but also just as scared of answering as she was of not. Ruth wasn't particularly scared of John, but her heart skipped a few beats, thinking of all the things he could do to her. He was a killer. He was all those terrible things he'd listed. And she saw past that. Ruth couldn't see him as simply those flaws, but it would be foolish to ignore them. Her hesitation wasn't necessarily one of anxiety, but of introspection. She thought for a moment that if he was a worse man, their dynamic would be very different.
Picking up the phone, Ruth felt a little like a scolded puppy. "Hey," she answered, sitting back a bit as a new dread filled her stomach. 'Sweetie!' The woman's voice rang over the line. 'I decided that I didn't want to wait to visit and I'm coming tomorrow. Isn't that wonderful!' Ruth cringed. She had completely forgotten... her mother had wanted to visit. Tomorrow she was supposed to have lunch with her father. And how was she going to explain John? "Nows not such a great time, mom," she tried to explain as she stood to pace. Ruth always paced when she was on the phone. "It's very busy and–" 'Oh, you worry too much! Besides, it's not like you ever have guests.' Ruth flinched, glancing at John. "Actually... I do. Right now... Something happened in town and the police..." 'Well, the more the merrier,' the older woman said, as if she hadn't heard a word of Ruth's story. 'I'll drop in about dinner tomorrow. Then we can go into Blackwater on Monday for shopping.' "But I have work and–" 'See you tomorrow, sweetie!' The line clicked shut. Ruth had to hold back a frustrated sigh. Not only was she hiding from monsters, she had to deal with domestic issues too. Slumping back onto the couch, Ruth pulled her legs to her chest, wondering what she was going to do about the mess she was in.
"I'm aware you may have family issues, but we don't want them thinking you got kidnapped and alerting the local police. Johnson was already out of script, specially the part in which he showed up in my room to threaten me while my butt was out like God made it. Don't forget the cops think you were threatened by some maniac. There are levels of top secret above top secret, and for a reason. Keep things simple. We don't want you stepping in Blackwater anytime soon, so I won't let your mother take you." He sighed, scratched the back of his head, hating himself for causing so much tension. He knew it was her mom's fault in a way, but he knew he had to keep things in control.
Grumpy was already wandering around the house since she stood up to pace, and John's clothes were a bit wrinkled due to Ruth resting against him. And that had made him fee all sensible, physcally. Any soft brushing against his skin felt like heaven. "You'll get paid fondly for cooperating, if that helps you stay motivated and see all this in a more positive way. You don't need to stress too much, despite all the problems. If my heart stops, they'll know because of my watch, and a whole team will come to make sure you're safe. Also, I can't harm you in any way. I'm here to keep you safe and well. And honestly, I just wanna help you."
He sighed, feeling bad for her, for the whole situation. He was getting attached, he knew. Attached and attracted. John could feel her scent all over him. Making him feel very strong things, imagine things, have those warm shivers. "Your mom seems like something else." He joked. Seeing her curling on the couch holding her knees just reminded him how young she was, and how stressed her life felt. "Hey, don't be like that...you'll be fine. I can get rid of your mom if you'd like. Just kiddng. Come on...cheer up." He poked her shoulder a little, eyes patient, he really cared. "Sorry, bad joke. I could have her win some cruiser offer though, so she spends a month away to give you some peace." He smirked playfully. "Come on, what things you want the most? Focus on the good things. It's what they told me to say in the motivational course."
Ruth glanced at John. She was grateful for him and for the protection, but it still felt confusing and new... After all it had only been a couple days. "I know," she said quietly, understanding just how important it was to keep the act up. "And thanks... She's... well, she's my mother and I love her, but after she left my dad... I swear she's gone a little off the rails." Ruth sighed before sitting up a little straighter.
"She's going to want my room... I always move to the guest room for her. But that's your space." Ruth gave a small huff, thinking of a hundred things she should tell the man to prepare him. "She's pushy sometimes. Doesn't ever take no for an answer and–" Ruth groaned, feeling a sense of dread. And maybe jealousy at the thought. "And she will try to flirt with you. I get that her relationship with dad wasn't good but it can get... intense." Ruth hated the idea of her mom trying to come on to John. He was hers... sort of. Not in a romantic sense, maybe. Even if she sometimes wished. But that was silly. If anything, he was her friend, and he was technically here for work. Not play. Even so, he'd been assigned to her. Just her. Ruth knew it was sort of selfish and stupid to be jealous over that. Had he not already rejected the advances of that girl in the parking lot? Rith wondered if men cared about that sort of thing... women being jealous. Not that she had a right to be.
Really looking at him now, Ruth gave a sad sort of smile. "I don't need money, John. I don't really want it. I know it's important... and I want to help... but it's like you said. What if I can't? What if I made it worse?"
She allowed herself a small laugh at his joke. "Don't offer. It's too tempting." She stood again, moving toward the kitchen for the food. She returned a few minutes later with plates and glasses, setting them on the table before getting the pizza. It probably should have cooled a little longer, but Ruth could tell John was hungry. She sat back down next to him, trying to enjoy a last night of peace. Monsters were scary, sure. But so was her mother sometimes.
John blinked a few times, paying attention to Ruth's words. Whenever she actually spoke, not the usual short answers or glares, the actual times she talked, it always felt so meaningful and important. "It's your house. I can sleep in the car if you need. Or in the living room." He really wouldn't mind if he had to. As long as he was close to the house to stop some attack.
"She'd what? Hit on me? But she doesn't even know me. Don't this small town have any men?" He chuckled, and he was actually slowly getting surprised that Ruth seemed so serious about it, angry or annoyed apparently. She'd look as angry and Dinner, it was too cute.
"Well, I guess your mother will have to learn how to accept no's. Cause I doubt she's more stubborn than me." He ran hhis fingers through his hair, adjusting it, it was already getting longer— like just being there eating her food and sleeping well was already making him healthier— his grayish eyes starting to show some brown.
"You don't need money? You're the first person to ever tell me that. Everyone needs. Even if you're selfless, you need money to help others. You need a new car to get your work done." He was impressed, but not very happy about it. Things would have been easier if she just accepted some price. But...that also made her even more special. The agent in him was upset at his work becoming a bit more difficult, but John....he was actually happy she was like that.
"No, Ruth. I didn't say I'd pay you to join the operation team. I said I'd pay you to do as I say." He sighed, rubbing his brow. "I already said I don't want you to join. You'd suffer and I don't want you to suffer. You're a good woman. Too good for this world." He said while staring the void, looking down, the agent at him sighing at his own defeat for getting too attached to her.
And then she laughed at his bad jokes, making him smile. He followed her with his eyes as Ruth walked to the kitchen to get the pizza out of the oven onto the table, his stomach growled loudly, but his eyes kept following her again, and she sat close to him again— that made his eyes go soft and sweet— he was melting more every time Ruth interacted with him. And again, he bit his lips, wondering if she was approaching only because he was afraid to be alone.
The young woman thought about John's words. 'I'd pay you to do as I say.' They were a bit odd to her. Even if it was to protect her, he must have some other reason, wouldn't he? Ruth wondered again what the point of all this was. She understood what was happening, she just didn't know why. Part of her wondered if John even fully knew why. The rest of the daylight seemed to drag on slowly. Ruth found herself not wanting to move from John's side. Even when she wanted to go shower and get into her pjs, staying next to him sounded nicer.
Maybe she was afraid of being alone... she hadn't really been before. But then again, if she had a choice of getting close to someone to fill that lonely void, John didn't seem like the ideal person. Or perhaps he was since he was the only one around. Ruth really wasn't friends with many people her own age, and even though John was a bit older, he was much closer to her in that respect than anyone else.
As of now, she was only really afraid of the pressures of the coming day. She had closed her eyes as she leaned against John, feeling sleep pull at her. Sliding away from him a little, Ruth layed down, her head resting on his leg as she maneuverd her legs behind where Grumpy was sitting on the other cushion. It was like John was her pillow and Grumpy was her blanket. She sighed, her eyes still heavy even though she wasn't very tired.
"What if we just went away again. Far from here... I know you said it would be suspicious, but I... I just want to be alone with you. It's quiet and safe... It's– Well, it's nice."
John ate the pizza she made him like his life depended on it. Absolutely delicious, better than any pizza he had ordered, better than anything he had eaten in Blackwater. He ate until his stomach was full, and if he was alone, he'd sleep right there, wake up, eat more and then go back to sleep. "So good....no wonder food stuff literally is your job." He cleaned his plate, every time. Ate his pizza and whatever was left of Ruth's, the parts she didn't eat. Even the dough alone was soft and so tasty, and all so warm. "I'll definitely get fat if I stay here." He chuckled, giving her a soft smile. "Thank you. For real. These past few days, I feel like I'm in some luxury five star inn fifty years in the past. And I ain't even that old."
John noticed she was awfully quiet. He wondered if it had been something he said, or if she was just anxious for the next day. Grumpy was definitely poking Ruth around more often, bumping his head against her leg, acting cuddly, wanting to cheer her up, looking up at her and wagging his tail slowly, as if to tell the young woman everything was okay, that he was happy to be there with her. Seeing the dog follow her around the house the whole afternoon pretty much told him she needed emotional support, and he was glad Grumpy was good at that, because John knew he was awful about it.
When he was almost napping on the couch, he felt the pressure of her body against him. He kept his eyes closed, relaxed. She was just lonely, he'd just let her rest. She needed human contact, well, people needed, and she was so lonely and he was the only person there. Grumpy made sure to cuddle her all the time, giving her small licks from time to time, pressing its cold nose against her skin.
Watching movies, digesting food and feeling Ruth napping practically on his lap, that was something he didn't know he needed. It was hard to not feel protective, the urge to pet her hair was big, but he resisted it. Approaching too much and getting intimate would be a problem, wouldn't it? He just rested his arm on her protectively.
"What? Run away?" His lips moved into a sad smile. "We shouldn't. It would make the team lose trust in all this, it would make them want to bring us back." He sighed, and damn he understood so well, he also wanted to run away from all that. "Why me of all people though? What about your friends? Don't you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Or your family?" He couldn't understand she actually liked him, he believed that was happening because he was the only person around. "Considering Grumpy is a dog, technically, you are alone with me." Grumpy groaned, pressed its face against Ruth's back. "Why it's nice being with me? All I've done so far was order you around, eat your food, sleep on your bed, invade your space. I know I ain't awful but...you sure you're just not...too lonely?"
Ruth reached her hand back, scratching at Grumpy's fur. He was so calming to be around. She thought he really did make a good therapy dog. John's words hit her sort of hard. Maybe she was just lonely... but even so, she didn't ever want him to leave. Despite all the reasons why she shouldn't like him or why it didn't make sense, Ruth did. She felt bad, not knowing what she truly felt or why. All she knew was that right now, John meant more to her than most of the people she knew.
She gave a guilty sigh, but didn't move from her spot on his lap. "Maybe I am just lonely," she said quietly, her eyes staring at the television. "I don't know why it's nice... But it is. I don't mind the ordering. I like sharing my space, my things, my food. And you're the first person in a while who has made me feel like sharing was more than just a chore." She turned, staring up at him. Her eyes were sad. "Most of my friends are much older... They have lives, families and kids and grandkids, they are already fulfilled. I've got a few friends my age, but they're all gone off, pursuing dreams that don't involve me. No one's been interested in dating me in... well... ever. And my parents–" She paused with a sigh. "They love me, I know that. But being around them makes me feel even more lonely, like I'm destined to forever be a bridge between two things that should never touch."
Ruth found herself mindlessly petting Grumpy to keep her hands occupied. He was soft and sweet, much like she thought John was. "You're here to do your job. I know that. I guess, for the first time in a while, it finally feels like someone cares of their own accord, not just because they think they owe me something."
She turned her head back away, feeling as if she might cry if she kept looking at John. "I know it's a silly thing to think. And it's terrible of me to see you that way. It's unfair. I know I'm lonely... Maybe it's just because you are here... But you're my friend, or, at least, I hope you are. Is it wrong to like someone even if the circumstances force you together?" Ruth owed John her life multiple times over now. She knew the situation of their meeting was unorthodox, but she still cared about him.
"Would you still ask that if we had met a different way? A better one? Or... a less forced one?"
"No, it ain't wrong. Not at all. People meet each other in the most random ways. You're not...forced to like or dislike people because of the way you met them, people just...I'm not sure....they...react to people and...most times people simply hate or love based on circunstance and first impressions." The way she kept looking at him, she seemed to hold so much guilt and hesitation. Every word she said meant sonething, in the sense she had clearly thought a lot about it all.
Listening to how she ended up alone was sort of heartbreaking. It hadn't been something fast and violent like it had happened to himself, but slow, silent and indifferent. "Well, I'm old." He chuckled a bit. "Not like Johnson but...someone as young as you must see me like some old ugly guy who smells like cigarettes." He checked his pockets, didn't find the cigarette box, then looked at the little counter by the entrance and it was right there where he left. He hadn't smoked since he put it there so casually, and he hadn't even realized.
"Yes, I think you can say that I'm your friend. We stole chocolate, you made me a pie, gave me a very comfy room and let me sleep in your bed— you treat my senior dog well, you're nice to me and you're honestly a good person. We watch cartoons together I mean." It was a bunch of good things. And they slept close to each other holding hands, and they were almost...cuddling on the couch, like it was so natural.
That made him stop and think for a minute.
What was Ruth becoming to him? A daughter he never had? A person he had to protect? Sometimes maybe what a mom he also never had? A friend? Someone special? Someone he was attracted to?Maybe all those things together. "If we had met differently, in the sense....if you had more people around you? Or...if we had normal lives and just met each other while going to the bank or something? I....yeah I think I'd still ask. Not because you have some sort of problem, but because people normally don't like me. Since I was a kid I get those stares....like my presence is some sort of offense. Then I commited a lot of crimes and people who know....well, they hate me or fear me and those who don't know, well, they don't approach me much. Maybe because of my face, my tattoos, my awful mood, my smell of smoke. I don't look like someone very sociable. And I ain't. The world stepped on me when I needed help...when I was vulnerable, so why the heck I have to look nice to the world? If I'm feeling angry or tired or annoyed, I just show it. I thought you'd treat me like most people do but...but you're so nice. Too nice."
Because of her sad puppy eyes and the slow emotional voice, he decided to hold her. Just hold her protectivelly. Maybe what was left of his paternal instinct was hitting. He couldn't tell. "Sorry for asking that. I didn't mean to make you feel....wrong. You ain't. You're fine. You're okay." He sighed. "We being here...ain't so forced. I asked them that. I told you, they wanted to keep you there but...you were so anxious it was getting on my nerves, I couldn't just leave you like that. I thought being home near the people you know would be better for you. I knew the others would be afraid to come so I volunteered knowing they'd accept it."
He smiled a bit shyly, but so happilly. "Yeah, we're friends. I also had no one. Dealing with people also felt like chores. "I like being with you too. Damn, too much. Definitely more than I should like."
It seemed silly to Ruth that people would just be mean to him for no reason. She didn't understand why anyone would do that for any reason. Even if it was based on looks or vibes, both of those seemed pretty surface level. She didn't quite know how to understand 'too nice'. Was nice bad? Maybe not bad bad, but did it make her vulnerable? Ruth had never thought about it that way. She'd always been told to just be nice to people because it was right. Glad to hear they were friends, Ruth gave him a small smile. It made her heart beat a little faster when he said he did like her.
But more than he should? What did that mean? Ruth was glad the light was pretty dim, her ears were turning an embarrassed shade of pink.
"You don't have to feel sorry," she said, not knowing how else to address the other things he had said. "Really... What has happened has happened. There's not much we can do about what life throws at us, we can only face it with a willing spirit." Sitting up, Ruth rubbed her eyes sleepily.
"We shoukd head upstairs," she suggested. "Before we fall asleep on the couch again... My back was not a fan of that." Scratching at Grumpy's ears, she beckoned for the dog to follow as if her were her own. She almost forgot he wasn't. Picking up the dishes quickly, she left them in the sink, not wanting to deal with them at the moment. As she started to the stairs, she got a strange feeling. It was like that tug she felt when she'd seen that creature that morning. That something was calling for her and she just couldn't ignore it. Pushing the feeling down, Ruth climbed the steps, thinking once she got to bed with John, she should never leave.
John smiled a little when she did, when he said he was her friend. Indeed, he liked her. He just did. Despite the fact there were tons of reasons why, he couldn't point a finger at a single one. "You kinda give me hope in a way." A corner of his lips kept the smile that had formed as he looked down, a bit shyly, reserved, contemplating all of that. "The pizzas were delicious. I'm...very grateful." He muttered, thanking her from heart.
"Damn, you're right. I'm alrewdy starting to feel my eyes heavy. This house is damn peaceful. I didn't have to take any meds. I guess working outside and not having any nightmares worked like magic. Thanks for helping me regarding that." He stood, watching her as she took the plates to the sink. John took a plastic bag and started gathering the trash, the wrapping of the ingredients she used, the bottles they drank from, napkins. The kitchen was acceptable, they could clean it by the morning.
"I had forgotten how it was like to be all clean and well fed and wearing something so soft." John confessed, his voice and smile almost sad, even though he meant to say all that as something good. "I'd get home and just crash on the couch or bed, try to sleep and fail and then fill my ass with sleeping pills or drink until I fainted. At least I'd forget the nightmares. And right now...damn, I feel so light. Thanks to you." He followed her, watching how Grumpy listened to Ruth, sometimes even more than he listened to himself. Maybe after all that was over, if it was ever over, maybe Grumpy should retire and just live with her. He had never seen the dog so calm and happy. John playfully gave a soft slap on the tip of the animal's tail as he walked by, Grumpy turning and standing on its back paws to nuzzle against John's chest, almost undoing his robes, the man had to hold it and fix it. "You sweet giant. Big baby." He pinched the dog's cheeks playfully and scratched its neck and behind its ears. "You've been such a gentleman. I'm really proud." He kissed Grumpy's forehead, who leaped up to try and and kiss John back, but ended up headbutting him by accident, making the man let out an acute little scream. "Careful! You're strong, boy." He gave Grumpy more scratches and more kissed, the animal's tail wagging like he'd take flight. "To bed now, alright? Let's go. Behave, we're invading her room."
Every time John spoke about the differences between his old life and his new one here with her, Ruth felt the strings of her heart pull tightly. She was sad he ever had to live in such a way, but now... Now he was safe. He was home. If he could truly consider this his home. Ruth had originally thought he would hate the place, it might have been to soft for him. But seeing his relaxation and contentment made Ruth happy.
"You don't have to thank me," she said as she opened the door to her room. She giggled a little, watching Grumpy play with John a little. She didn't see their presence as an invasion. It it was, well, they could invade any time they wanted. Her life was feeling full again. Maybe tomorrow wouldn't be so bad... He father was usually alright, and having John around might make her mother seem less scary.
Ruth sat on the edge of her bed, letting her hair down and pulling her socks off before pausing. She probably shouldn't undress in front of him... Not that he would mind. Not that she would mind... But it felt a little insensitive. Grabbing up her pajamas and robe, Ruth headed for the door. "I'll be back in a minute." By the time she returned, she was ready to crawl into bed, covered in long cotton pjs and a fluffy bathrobe. She climbed into the bed, not hesitating to curl up next to John immediately. His warmth was something she was getting too used to.
"You're a good friend," she stated decidedly as she gave a content sigh. "Don't know why no one ever liked you, you're nice."
She said he didn't have to thank her, but sweetness and kindness were so rare. It was like a bliss when it happened. The world had grown into somewhere so big and also so small and so indifferent, like people used to hide their kindness afraid others would abuse it. And Ruth wasn't afraid to hide it. That made her so precious in ways John's mind simply couldn't put into words or elaborate a metaphor, not yet, it was mostly emotions and sensations than anything logic. Even her scent became home.
He let her lead the way, the moment she opened the door, Grumpy already rushed inside, the little noises caused by its nails hitting the floor, its quick steps into the safest spot in the world. John kept his hands in the pockets his robes, eyes sleepy and distracted, blinking a few times when he realized Ruth had started to strip— her hair, it seemed like pure gold....and....—
Quickly he took a deep breath, somehow making it almost inaudible, turned to the door, ready to leave and give her some space, but then she was already coming his way— "Sure, of course. The place is yours. If you want some more privacy tonight, lemme know." He managed to stay serious and calm when he said it— but the moment she left the room, the flush of red spread all over his face and ears. "Mmnm."
The dog found its place on a fluffy carpet, already hugging the tomato plushie he had found somewhere, curling to sleep. He found himself standing there, eyes lost, remembering the night he saw her all naked on that bed— and her hair... it was like it was made out of some holy gold. She said he was a good friend. That made him so happy actually. And to his annoyance (about himself) he could already feel all that emotion between his legs, that warm soft tingle that made him blush and facepalm a little. He spread the robes a little while looking at the mirror, skin crazy sensible, nipples all hard and cock wanting to lift— and his chest feeling full of butterflies. "Ugh...really Marston...? Really? You're that love deprived? That pathetic?" He grunted a little. Grumpy looked at John and rolled its eyes, letting out a loooong judging sound.
"What?? I know what you did to that big tomato plush. You didn't even ask her if you could take it, did you?" He sighed, looking down at himself and frowning and pouting a little in disaproval, then closed the robes, climbed the bed on his side, questioning if sleeping by her side was already something twisted and perverted. The nightmares though...they stopped for good when she was close and he was getting addicted to sleeping well.
He got comfy and closed his eyes, and almost napping, he woke up feeling the pressure of his body against his, and her voice, so pretty and calming like usual. "I did bad things. That alone pretty much justifies it." He knew it was a lot more than that, but it was not wrong. "It's also about being afraid and...not knowing what I can do or what I did in the past." He could feel his cheeks warmer as she curled next to him.
Ruth yawned, her hands holding onto his arm as she pressed her cheek to his shoulder. If she wasn't so tired, she would have decided then that she never wanted to give this up. Having someone to sleep next to, someone who wouldn't hurt her but swore to protect her, it felt good. He was particularly warm, hot even. So much so that Ruth regretted wearing the warm pjs and wished she would have worn thin ones. She pulled at her own robe, trying to wiggle out of it because of the heat.
"I guess that makes sense," she said sleepily. "But even then... You're plenty nice to me. So... nice and... gentle..." Yawns kept interrupting her words as her mind started to fall asleep. Since she was falling into unconsciousness, she couldn't quite remember if she was really speaking or if this was a dream. "And...warm... and handsome and... warm–" Her voice fell off as her limbs relaxed against him. Her breathing evened out as she curled into his warmth.
Her dreams started to resemble the ones she'd had before. Memories that weren't hers, not as violent or sad as other ones, but a lonely dark apartment which slowly bled into a hot and desperate scene of John again. His voice rang in her ears, that uneven gravely sound, somewhere between being high and low. It must have been from sleeping close and all that heat, because even in her sleep Ruth was growing extremely warm. Her body shivered against John's as her cheeks and ears and a splotchy place on her chest slowly turned pink. But instead of pulling away, Ruth pressed herself closer as if it would help. It was like she could feel the anxitey in his body and wanted to get it out any way she could. Even if it was just in a dream...
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When Ruth offered her hand started to pet Grumpy, the animal immediately melted into her touches, understanding she was one of the good people, his tail wagging so much, the little jumps he would give as she scratched behind his ears, and it just stayed there, enjoying all the pets, and when she paused, he'd stand, pressing both his paws against her chest, sniffing her all over, letting out happy little cries.
"Huh. He likes you. That's....that's actually rare. Normally he's grumpy to people and people are grumpy back or just scared because of his size.
The dog had a lot of soft skin to be pet because of its age, and it seemed to be a very calm animal.
The thunders started to hit loudly again, the power oscillating, as if the typhoon was trying to catch up.
"Thanks for helping." John said once he locked the door and went downstairs, Grumpy jumping onto the backseat and curling on his place, already preparing to take a nap. Traveling made it sleepy.
"Hey...you'll be home in no time, alright?" If he wasn't used to be acting rough, maybe he'd be saying a lot more, offering a hug or apologizing about everything, but it was his job and he needed to keep her safe.
The storm was quite violent as they left town. The power oscillating outside, some trees had fallen, some lower areas were flooding. The amount of water that started falling from the sky was formidable to say the least. Gladly John's driving was good, the truck was robust and they weren't having any problems. Because of how late it was, the streets were mostly empty, and one they got to the suburban area, he felt like he was in one of those liminal spaces, the sky so dark, absolute silence but the sound of the car engine, the lights outside limited to each house, all the rest, the fields, the distance, all seemed so pitch black.
John even shivered at some point, it was getting so cold. He looked to the side to see Ruth, she seemed so...she seemed so sick. Exhausted. He felt bad for her. The address, he didn't even need a GPS, until they were close to Cholla Springs. Gently he poked her shoulder. "Hey, we're almost there. Cheer up a little...." He tried, but he was a bit tired too.
Once he parked by her little ranch like property, he also let a sigh of relief. "If anyone asks....remember to say what we talked. That some maniac was stalking you....destroyed your car...I'm keeping you safe for a few days, alright?" He wasn't aware she was totally alone. He imagined at least a parent, sibling or boyfriend would be around, but...the place seemed so damn quiet.
"Come on, let's wake up, boy, we arrived."
Grumpy started wagging its tail and looking around, jumping off the car as soon as John opened the door, the animal froze when it felt the fresh breeze of the fields, of countryside.
'Awoooofff wooof wooffff wofff wuuuuuff wufff wuffff!' It started to hop in circles as John tried to remove the leash. "Easy boy...I'm trying to take this off...." Once John did, the dog bolted towards the house, jumping and rolling on the green grass, resting on its back and wiggling its paws up.
"Huh. I've never seen this big boy so energetic. I guess being here for a while will do him good" He smirked at little as he took his things from the car, rushing inside following Ruth. The rain had taken a short break before it started hitting hard again. John waited before walking in. "Where is everyone?" He asked, finding everything too silent.
"Grumpy, come boy, or you'll get all wet." Marston took a towel from his bag, crouched down to dry the animal, it seemed so happy, it made John chuckle. "Give them paws....let's dry your feet....good boy..."
"Miss...thanks for accepting me here, even if...." He sighed. "Well, even if there wasn't much of a better option. I'll explain everything tomorrow when you're well rested..."
Where did she go?
"Alright...I'll take the room upstairs then. Thank you. Could I maybe take a shower?" The dark rings under his eyes seemed larger, driving amidst that storm, the damn typhoon, which was threatening to get worse made him extra tired. "Can Grumpy sleep inside?"
Where was she? He was holding a pistol, ready to give it to her, but....where?
"Maybe tomorrow then....I guess everyone's tired."
He saw the bunny in the kitchen, it seemed so angry for some reason. "Hey little feller."
Marston didn't know if Ruth would allow his dog upstairs, so he took Grumpy's bed and placed near the bunny, by the small pen in the kitchen. "Behave, boy. Don't mess anything up, we're guests." The huge scary german shepherd curled down and started to whine though, crying to John, giving the puppy eyes. 'Abueh bueh bueh bueh bueh....' He sighed. "It's her house...and...just tonight..."
The dog rolled on his back and started to move its paws in the air as if it was dying. "Oh no need for drama...come on. Come on. You ain't alone, there's the bunny there." Grumpy paused and looked at Dinner. The little bunny looked like a fur ball of pure rage. Grumpy looked back at John, cried and jumped up to curl on his lap, Marston had to catch him.
"You're afraid of it?? Oh...why?? Well....it does look angry....alright...I'm taking you to my room with me...but no noise, no mess, alright? You already peed outside, right? Not wet cocks staining the floor, alright? It's a lady's house." He kept drying the animal with the towel, in more detail now since it was coming inside. "Your chest is all wet...play in the grass tomorrow, okay?" Grumpy rested his head on John's shoulder and closed its eyes to rest, loving the caresses of the towel. "You're such a big baby. You're getting heavy." John carried the animal and its bed upstairs, and he had no idea which room was his.
He set down the dog bed on the corridor and gently placed Grumpy on it. "Just a minute, boy."
John had left his boots by the porch, stepping silently to inspect if that was the right room, and the moment he looked, his lips parted as he saw the lady, naked on her bed, spread on soft sheets- he froze. The memory of what he had seen at the scanner room, and now again, that perfect body, and she seemed so relaxed. Her thighs and delicate legs, her ribs and that soft skin, those perfect breasts and that golden hair. He blushed, even stopped breathing for a while, eyes locked on her, feeling guilty each second he admired her, her perfect bottom, she seemed like a holy statue and he hadn't felt so horny in such a long time. "Mnm." He gave an awkward nod and stepped back and out of her room, cheeks and ears warm and red, he silently made his way to his own room. "Oh boy....she must be so tight." He panted and shook his head as he opened the other room, carrying his things inside, Grumpy grunting a little a John's comment, as if judging his owner. "Ah don't you start, I know what you do to the Santa Klaus plushie." The dog looked offended as it followed John carrying his little bed with his mouth.
Once his things were in the room, he felt sleep hit him, but he needed a shower. He was smelling precinct and that molded big city. Smelling like Blackwater, and that town, it was...different, he felt a shower there would make him feel pure and clean, like countryside.
He went to to shower, turned on the water, relaxed finally, the only tension left in him was the one seeing her all nude caused. Oh how he wanted to have that woman, he knew thoughts like that were his entrance ticket to hell, but....the thought of she asking for it...and him having her sweetly on that bed of hers....ughh....he closed his eyes and kept imagining it as he washed himself and relieved that tension.
Once he was done and had dried himself, he also felt the last of his energy gone when he got close to his bed. His bare feet against the wooden floor felt right and relaxing, he also sunk into his bed, didn't even pull the sheets, he just rested on top of them, his dark hair spread on the pillow- Grumpy was sleeping on his little dog one when he checked, but didn't take long until he felt the animal jumping onto it, resting by his side. Since John looked so peaceful and so tired, the dog respected his space this time. The rain outside, the wooden noises caused by the wind, it was all so relaxing. Didn't take long for him to hug a pillow, dreaming about her, her lips, those breasts, that perfect spot between her thigh and her sides. "Dang....why did she have to look so.....so perfect like that, Grumpy...." The hot water that relaxed him for good, he was so calm and sleepy he even seemed to be drugged. "I'll wake up hard like hell for sure....mnmhg...she's so perfect..."
The dog grunted at John, judging him again, wanting to sleep. "Alright....I'll shut up....just...this pillow is mine...."
He blacked out, had very sweet dreams, and for the first time in years, he didn't have a nightmare. He just...loss track of everything, he just slept. Slept for so many hours.
His phone vibrated a couple of hours later, but he didn't even notice. If not shaken, he probably would sleep until noon, it had been the best sleep ever, breathing in and out, using the pillows as cover, he even forgot who he was or where he was.
@girllock-writes
Ruth had smiled at Grumpy. She thought it was funny that John called him her husband... obviously, Grumpy was a dog, but Ruth thought that she wouldn't mind a man like that. Capible, but also so willing to show affection. Her fingers brushed his fur, scratching behind his ears. She felt safe, slottwed between the agent and his dog. Like nothing in the world could get to her.
She listened quietly when John spoke, feeling the heavy sort of energy his words carried. All that pain and numbess, it would drive her crazy. He'd been through so much. It was a crude story to hear, but Ruth just kept herself next to him, wishing that she could do anything to make him forget that pain. He was supposed to be safe in her house, safe from the memories and trauma of his past. He was free to speak of them, but Ruth prayed they wouldn't haunt him here. Though his past was sad, part of her found it slightly impressive that he had survived so much. John was a man of great skill and Ruth knew that was something to be admired. The scars didn't look like wounds to her, but more like trophies... the world had tried to destroy him but he had survived and told it to go fuck itself.
Her eyes returned to him when he commanded her to answer. She really realllly didn't want to. There was a coldness to his voice, one she hadn't heard since she'd met him. Her eyes blinked up at him, knowing she should listen but also just as scared of answering as she was of not. Ruth wasn't particularly scared of John, but her heart skipped a few beats, thinking of all the things he could do to her. He was a killer. He was all those terrible things he'd listed. And she saw past that. Ruth couldn't see him as simply those flaws, but it would be foolish to ignore them. Her hesitation wasn't necessarily one of anxiety, but of introspection. She thought for a moment that if he was a worse man, their dynamic would be very different.
Picking up the phone, Ruth felt a little like a scolded puppy. "Hey," she answered, sitting back a bit as a new dread filled her stomach. 'Sweetie!' The woman's voice rang over the line. 'I decided that I didn't want to wait to visit and I'm coming tomorrow. Isn't that wonderful!' Ruth cringed. She had completely forgotten... her mother had wanted to visit. Tomorrow she was supposed to have lunch with her father. And how was she going to explain John? "Nows not such a great time, mom," she tried to explain as she stood to pace. Ruth always paced when she was on the phone. "It's very busy and–" 'Oh, you worry too much! Besides, it's not like you ever have guests.' Ruth flinched, glancing at John. "Actually... I do. Right now... Something happened in town and the police..." 'Well, the more the merrier,' the older woman said, as if she hadn't heard a word of Ruth's story. 'I'll drop in about dinner tomorrow. Then we can go into Blackwater on Monday for shopping.' "But I have work and–" 'See you tomorrow, sweetie!' The line clicked shut. Ruth had to hold back a frustrated sigh. Not only was she hiding from monsters, she had to deal with domestic issues too. Slumping back onto the couch, Ruth pulled her legs to her chest, wondering what she was going to do about the mess she was in.
"I'm aware you may have family issues, but we don't want them thinking you got kidnapped and alerting the local police. Johnson was already out of script, specially the part in which he showed up in my room to threaten me while my butt was out like God made it. Don't forget the cops think you were threatened by some maniac. There are levels of top secret above top secret, and for a reason. Keep things simple. We don't want you stepping in Blackwater anytime soon, so I won't let your mother take you." He sighed, scratched the back of his head, hating himself for causing so much tension. He knew it was her mom's fault in a way, but he knew he had to keep things in control.
Grumpy was already wandering around the house since she stood up to pace, and John's clothes were a bit wrinkled due to Ruth resting against him. And that had made him fee all sensible, physcally. Any soft brushing against his skin felt like heaven. "You'll get paid fondly for cooperating, if that helps you stay motivated and see all this in a more positive way. You don't need to stress too much, despite all the problems. If my heart stops, they'll know because of my watch, and a whole team will come to make sure you're safe. Also, I can't harm you in any way. I'm here to keep you safe and well. And honestly, I just wanna help you."
He sighed, feeling bad for her, for the whole situation. He was getting attached, he knew. Attached and attracted. John could feel her scent all over him. Making him feel very strong things, imagine things, have those warm shivers. "Your mom seems like something else." He joked. Seeing her curling on the couch holding her knees just reminded him how young she was, and how stressed her life felt. "Hey, don't be like that...you'll be fine. I can get rid of your mom if you'd like. Just kiddng. Come on...cheer up." He poked her shoulder a little, eyes patient, he really cared. "Sorry, bad joke. I could have her win some cruiser offer though, so she spends a month away to give you some peace." He smirked playfully. "Come on, what things you want the most? Focus on the good things. It's what they told me to say in the motivational course."
Ruth glanced at John. She was grateful for him and for the protection, but it still felt confusing and new... After all it had only been a couple days. "I know," she said quietly, understanding just how important it was to keep the act up. "And thanks... She's... well, she's my mother and I love her, but after she left my dad... I swear she's gone a little off the rails." Ruth sighed before sitting up a little straighter.
"She's going to want my room... I always move to the guest room for her. But that's your space." Ruth gave a small huff, thinking of a hundred things she should tell the man to prepare him. "She's pushy sometimes. Doesn't ever take no for an answer and–" Ruth groaned, feeling a sense of dread. And maybe jealousy at the thought. "And she will try to flirt with you. I get that her relationship with dad wasn't good but it can get... intense." Ruth hated the idea of her mom trying to come on to John. He was hers... sort of. Not in a romantic sense, maybe. Even if she sometimes wished. But that was silly. If anything, he was her friend, and he was technically here for work. Not play. Even so, he'd been assigned to her. Just her. Ruth knew it was sort of selfish and stupid to be jealous over that. Had he not already rejected the advances of that girl in the parking lot? Rith wondered if men cared about that sort of thing... women being jealous. Not that she had a right to be.
Really looking at him now, Ruth gave a sad sort of smile. "I don't need money, John. I don't really want it. I know it's important... and I want to help... but it's like you said. What if I can't? What if I made it worse?"
She allowed herself a small laugh at his joke. "Don't offer. It's too tempting." She stood again, moving toward the kitchen for the food. She returned a few minutes later with plates and glasses, setting them on the table before getting the pizza. It probably should have cooled a little longer, but Ruth could tell John was hungry. She sat back down next to him, trying to enjoy a last night of peace. Monsters were scary, sure. But so was her mother sometimes.
John blinked a few times, paying attention to Ruth's words. Whenever she actually spoke, not the usual short answers or glares, the actual times she talked, it always felt so meaningful and important. "It's your house. I can sleep in the car if you need. Or in the living room." He really wouldn't mind if he had to. As long as he was close to the house to stop some attack.
"She'd what? Hit on me? But she doesn't even know me. Don't this small town have any men?" He chuckled, and he was actually slowly getting surprised that Ruth seemed so serious about it, angry or annoyed apparently. She'd look as angry and Dinner, it was too cute.
"Well, I guess your mother will have to learn how to accept no's. Cause I doubt she's more stubborn than me." He ran hhis fingers through his hair, adjusting it, it was already getting longer— like just being there eating her food and sleeping well was already making him healthier— his grayish eyes starting to show some brown.
"You don't need money? You're the first person to ever tell me that. Everyone needs. Even if you're selfless, you need money to help others. You need a new car to get your work done." He was impressed, but not very happy about it. Things would have been easier if she just accepted some price. But...that also made her even more special. The agent in him was upset at his work becoming a bit more difficult, but John....he was actually happy she was like that.
"No, Ruth. I didn't say I'd pay you to join the operation team. I said I'd pay you to do as I say." He sighed, rubbing his brow. "I already said I don't want you to join. You'd suffer and I don't want you to suffer. You're a good woman. Too good for this world." He said while staring the void, looking down, the agent at him sighing at his own defeat for getting too attached to her.
And then she laughed at his bad jokes, making him smile. He followed her with his eyes as Ruth walked to the kitchen to get the pizza out of the oven onto the table, his stomach growled loudly, but his eyes kept following her again, and she sat close to him again— that made his eyes go soft and sweet— he was melting more every time Ruth interacted with him. And again, he bit his lips, wondering if she was approaching only because he was afraid to be alone.
The young woman thought about John's words. 'I'd pay you to do as I say.' They were a bit odd to her. Even if it was to protect her, he must have some other reason, wouldn't he? Ruth wondered again what the point of all this was. She understood what was happening, she just didn't know why. Part of her wondered if John even fully knew why. The rest of the daylight seemed to drag on slowly. Ruth found herself not wanting to move from John's side. Even when she wanted to go shower and get into her pjs, staying next to him sounded nicer.
Maybe she was afraid of being alone... she hadn't really been before. But then again, if she had a choice of getting close to someone to fill that lonely void, John didn't seem like the ideal person. Or perhaps he was since he was the only one around. Ruth really wasn't friends with many people her own age, and even though John was a bit older, he was much closer to her in that respect than anyone else.
As of now, she was only really afraid of the pressures of the coming day. She had closed her eyes as she leaned against John, feeling sleep pull at her. Sliding away from him a little, Ruth layed down, her head resting on his leg as she maneuverd her legs behind where Grumpy was sitting on the other cushion. It was like John was her pillow and Grumpy was her blanket. She sighed, her eyes still heavy even though she wasn't very tired.
"What if we just went away again. Far from here... I know you said it would be suspicious, but I... I just want to be alone with you. It's quiet and safe... It's– Well, it's nice."
John ate the pizza she made him like his life depended on it. Absolutely delicious, better than any pizza he had ordered, better than anything he had eaten in Blackwater. He ate until his stomach was full, and if he was alone, he'd sleep right there, wake up, eat more and then go back to sleep. "So good....no wonder food stuff literally is your job." He cleaned his plate, every time. Ate his pizza and whatever was left of Ruth's, the parts she didn't eat. Even the dough alone was soft and so tasty, and all so warm. "I'll definitely get fat if I stay here." He chuckled, giving her a soft smile. "Thank you. For real. These past few days, I feel like I'm in some luxury five star inn fifty years in the past. And I ain't even that old."
John noticed she was awfully quiet. He wondered if it had been something he said, or if she was just anxious for the next day. Grumpy was definitely poking Ruth around more often, bumping his head against her leg, acting cuddly, wanting to cheer her up, looking up at her and wagging his tail slowly, as if to tell the young woman everything was okay, that he was happy to be there with her. Seeing the dog follow her around the house the whole afternoon pretty much told him she needed emotional support, and he was glad Grumpy was good at that, because John knew he was awful about it.
When he was almost napping on the couch, he felt the pressure of her body against him. He kept his eyes closed, relaxed. She was just lonely, he'd just let her rest. She needed human contact, well, people needed, and she was so lonely and he was the only person there. Grumpy made sure to cuddle her all the time, giving her small licks from time to time, pressing its cold nose against her skin.
Watching movies, digesting food and feeling Ruth napping practically on his lap, that was something he didn't know he needed. It was hard to not feel protective, the urge to pet her hair was big, but he resisted it. Approaching too much and getting intimate would be a problem, wouldn't it? He just rested his arm on her protectively.
"What? Run away?" His lips moved into a sad smile. "We shouldn't. It would make the team lose trust in all this, it would make them want to bring us back." He sighed, and damn he understood so well, he also wanted to run away from all that. "Why me of all people though? What about your friends? Don't you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Or your family?" He couldn't understand she actually liked him, he believed that was happening because he was the only person around. "Considering Grumpy is a dog, technically, you are alone with me." Grumpy groaned, pressed its face against Ruth's back. "Why it's nice being with me? All I've done so far was order you around, eat your food, sleep on your bed, invade your space. I know I ain't awful but...you sure you're just not...too lonely?"
Ruth reached her hand back, scratching at Grumpy's fur. He was so calming to be around. She thought he really did make a good therapy dog. John's words hit her sort of hard. Maybe she was just lonely... but even so, she didn't ever want him to leave. Despite all the reasons why she shouldn't like him or why it didn't make sense, Ruth did. She felt bad, not knowing what she truly felt or why. All she knew was that right now, John meant more to her than most of the people she knew.
She gave a guilty sigh, but didn't move from her spot on his lap. "Maybe I am just lonely," she said quietly, her eyes staring at the television. "I don't know why it's nice... But it is. I don't mind the ordering. I like sharing my space, my things, my food. And you're the first person in a while who has made me feel like sharing was more than just a chore." She turned, staring up at him. Her eyes were sad. "Most of my friends are much older... They have lives, families and kids and grandkids, they are already fulfilled. I've got a few friends my age, but they're all gone off, pursuing dreams that don't involve me. No one's been interested in dating me in... well... ever. And my parents–" She paused with a sigh. "They love me, I know that. But being around them makes me feel even more lonely, like I'm destined to forever be a bridge between two things that should never touch."
Ruth found herself mindlessly petting Grumpy to keep her hands occupied. He was soft and sweet, much like she thought John was. "You're here to do your job. I know that. I guess, for the first time in a while, it finally feels like someone cares of their own accord, not just because they think they owe me something."
She turned her head back away, feeling as if she might cry if she kept looking at John. "I know it's a silly thing to think. And it's terrible of me to see you that way. It's unfair. I know I'm lonely... Maybe it's just because you are here... But you're my friend, or, at least, I hope you are. Is it wrong to like someone even if the circumstances force you together?" Ruth owed John her life multiple times over now. She knew the situation of their meeting was unorthodox, but she still cared about him.
"Would you still ask that if we had met a different way? A better one? Or... a less forced one?"
"No, it ain't wrong. Not at all. People meet each other in the most random ways. You're not...forced to like or dislike people because of the way you met them, people just...I'm not sure....they...react to people and...most times people simply hate or love based on circunstance and first impressions." The way she kept looking at him, she seemed to hold so much guilt and hesitation. Every word she said meant sonething, in the sense she had clearly thought a lot about it all.
Listening to how she ended up alone was sort of heartbreaking. It hadn't been something fast and violent like it had happened to himself, but slow, silent and indifferent. "Well, I'm old." He chuckled a bit. "Not like Johnson but...someone as young as you must see me like some old ugly guy who smells like cigarettes." He checked his pockets, didn't find the cigarette box, then looked at the little counter by the entrance and it was right there where he left. He hadn't smoked since he put it there so casually, and he hadn't even realized.
"Yes, I think you can say that I'm your friend. We stole chocolate, you made me a pie, gave me a very comfy room and let me sleep in your bed— you treat my senior dog well, you're nice to me and you're honestly a good person. We watch cartoons together I mean." It was a bunch of good things. And they slept close to each other holding hands, and they were almost...cuddling on the couch, like it was so natural.
That made him stop and think for a minute.
What was Ruth becoming to him? A daughter he never had? A person he had to protect? Sometimes maybe what a mom he also never had? A friend? Someone special? Someone he was attracted to?Maybe all those things together. "If we had met differently, in the sense....if you had more people around you? Or...if we had normal lives and just met each other while going to the bank or something? I....yeah I think I'd still ask. Not because you have some sort of problem, but because people normally don't like me. Since I was a kid I get those stares....like my presence is some sort of offense. Then I commited a lot of crimes and people who know....well, they hate me or fear me and those who don't know, well, they don't approach me much. Maybe because of my face, my tattoos, my awful mood, my smell of smoke. I don't look like someone very sociable. And I ain't. The world stepped on me when I needed help...when I was vulnerable, so why the heck I have to look nice to the world? If I'm feeling angry or tired or annoyed, I just show it. I thought you'd treat me like most people do but...but you're so nice. Too nice."
Because of her sad puppy eyes and the slow emotional voice, he decided to hold her. Just hold her protectivelly. Maybe what was left of his paternal instinct was hitting. He couldn't tell. "Sorry for asking that. I didn't mean to make you feel....wrong. You ain't. You're fine. You're okay." He sighed. "We being here...ain't so forced. I asked them that. I told you, they wanted to keep you there but...you were so anxious it was getting on my nerves, I couldn't just leave you like that. I thought being home near the people you know would be better for you. I knew the others would be afraid to come so I volunteered knowing they'd accept it."
He smiled a bit shyly, but so happilly. "Yeah, we're friends. I also had no one. Dealing with people also felt like chores. "I like being with you too. Damn, too much. Definitely more than I should like."
It seemed silly to Ruth that people would just be mean to him for no reason. She didn't understand why anyone would do that for any reason. Even if it was based on looks or vibes, both of those seemed pretty surface level. She didn't quite know how to understand 'too nice'. Was nice bad? Maybe not bad bad, but did it make her vulnerable? Ruth had never thought about it that way. She'd always been told to just be nice to people because it was right. Glad to hear they were friends, Ruth gave him a small smile. It made her heart beat a little faster when he said he did like her.
But more than he should? What did that mean? Ruth was glad the light was pretty dim, her ears were turning an embarrassed shade of pink.
"You don't have to feel sorry," she said, not knowing how else to address the other things he had said. "Really... What has happened has happened. There's not much we can do about what life throws at us, we can only face it with a willing spirit." Sitting up, Ruth rubbed her eyes sleepily.
"We shoukd head upstairs," she suggested. "Before we fall asleep on the couch again... My back was not a fan of that." Scratching at Grumpy's ears, she beckoned for the dog to follow as if her were her own. She almost forgot he wasn't. Picking up the dishes quickly, she left them in the sink, not wanting to deal with them at the moment. As she started to the stairs, she got a strange feeling. It was like that tug she felt when she'd seen that creature that morning. That something was calling for her and she just couldn't ignore it. Pushing the feeling down, Ruth climbed the steps, thinking once she got to bed with John, she should never leave.
John smiled a little when she did, when he said he was her friend. Indeed, he liked her. He just did. Despite the fact there were tons of reasons why, he couldn't point a finger at a single one. "You kinda give me hope in a way." A corner of his lips kept the smile that had formed as he looked down, a bit shyly, reserved, contemplating all of that. "The pizzas were delicious. I'm...very grateful." He muttered, thanking her from heart.
"Damn, you're right. I'm alrewdy starting to feel my eyes heavy. This house is damn peaceful. I didn't have to take any meds. I guess working outside and not having any nightmares worked like magic. Thanks for helping me regarding that." He stood, watching her as she took the plates to the sink. John took a plastic bag and started gathering the trash, the wrapping of the ingredients she used, the bottles they drank from, napkins. The kitchen was acceptable, they could clean it by the morning.
"I had forgotten how it was like to be all clean and well fed and wearing something so soft." John confessed, his voice and smile almost sad, even though he meant to say all that as something good. "I'd get home and just crash on the couch or bed, try to sleep and fail and then fill my ass with sleeping pills or drink until I fainted. At least I'd forget the nightmares. And right now...damn, I feel so light. Thanks to you." He followed her, watching how Grumpy listened to Ruth, sometimes even more than he listened to himself. Maybe after all that was over, if it was ever over, maybe Grumpy should retire and just live with her. He had never seen the dog so calm and happy. John playfully gave a soft slap on the tip of the animal's tail as he walked by, Grumpy turning and standing on its back paws to nuzzle against John's chest, almost undoing his robes, the man had to hold it and fix it. "You sweet giant. Big baby." He pinched the dog's cheeks playfully and scratched its neck and behind its ears. "You've been such a gentleman. I'm really proud." He kissed Grumpy's forehead, who leaped up to try and and kiss John back, but ended up headbutting him by accident, making the man let out an acute little scream. "Careful! You're strong, boy." He gave Grumpy more scratches and more kissed, the animal's tail wagging like he'd take flight. "To bed now, alright? Let's go. Behave, we're invading her room."
Every time John spoke about the differences between his old life and his new one here with her, Ruth felt the strings of her heart pull tightly. She was sad he ever had to live in such a way, but now... Now he was safe. He was home. If he could truly consider this his home. Ruth had originally thought he would hate the place, it might have been to soft for him. But seeing his relaxation and contentment made Ruth happy.
"You don't have to thank me," she said as she opened the door to her room. She giggled a little, watching Grumpy play with John a little. She didn't see their presence as an invasion. It it was, well, they could invade any time they wanted. Her life was feeling full again. Maybe tomorrow wouldn't be so bad... He father was usually alright, and having John around might make her mother seem less scary.
Ruth sat on the edge of her bed, letting her hair down and pulling her socks off before pausing. She probably shouldn't undress in front of him... Not that he would mind. Not that she would mind... But it felt a little insensitive. Grabbing up her pajamas and robe, Ruth headed for the door. "I'll be back in a minute." By the time she returned, she was ready to crawl into bed, covered in long cotton pjs and a fluffy bathrobe. She climbed into the bed, not hesitating to curl up next to John immediately. His warmth was something she was getting too used to.
"You're a good friend," she stated decidedly as she gave a content sigh. "Don't know why no one ever liked you, you're nice."
//Samael is 203.2cm (6'8"), 145.15kg (320lbs), Muscular as all hell.
He can pick someone up with one Hand, and then smash their Head against a wall and turn it into a mess of Gore and Grey Matter.
Tear Doors off the hinges, just burst through by charging with one Shoulder and his Forearm with the strength of a fuming Bull and the speed of a Cheetah from Hell.
yet another day swooning over luke’s lightning scars
Answering my asks starting with the easiest/shortest ones first lol don’t mind me—
Yeah I love lightning scars luke. I can’t believe there was a time where I wasn’t all over that idea.
1) they’re cool as fuck
2) they open up so many avenues to explore his trauma and his character growth
I always imagine he’d be self conscious about them or be ashamed/afraid of them due to the memories associated with them (something I cover in my xOC fic a couple times). But I feel like he’d come around to accepting them eventually, especially when he sees how much his partner either doesn’t pay them any mind or conversely how much his partner loves them.
Just imagine him opening up to you about them and how he feels about them, and you comforting him and assuring him that it’s okay (you don’t have to do much imagining— I wrote a whole one shot about this very thing hehe). I think he eventually really likes when you kiss them. And brother, do you kiss them. You make it a point to kiss all of them. Every inch of them. And they are everywhere. It may take you hours— you don’t care. You are showing that man how much they don’t bother you or repulse you or scare you or whatever thing he’s worried they’ll make you feel.
You also find yourself mindlessly tracing them if you’re cuddling together. He melts at the sensation, finds it to be one of the most soothing things you do to him.
Despite you helping him feel better about them, he’s still self conscious about them around others. You’re one of the only people he’s comfortable wearing short sleeves around, at least for a while. He doesn’t like a lot of attention and unfortunately having unique scars gets you some attention.
Sometimes the scars hurt. But the wounds have been healed for a long time, so the pain seems to be psychosomatic. He complains of pain when he’s feeling stressed, or on the anniversary of his encounter with the Emperor. He sometimes wonders if there’s some element of the Dark Side lingering that inflicts this pain, rather than it just being psychological. You help him by trying to ease his stress and take his mind off things. Massages, warm baths, long cuddle sessions, making/ordering his favorite food, you name it.
He likes that you like his scars. He’s well aware that you find his them incredibly attractive. He may show them around you just to get you flustered. You can tell when he’s doing this versus when he’s just existing with them visible because he’ll be trying to hide a coy little smile and play innocent when you catch on to his antics. It’s also just obvious because the situation doesn’t call for him to be in the state of undress that he is. You think he likes the confidence boost it gives him when you swoon over him. He can be a little vain, as a treat! It’s a nice change from the shame he often feels towards his scars.
god i feel like such a dick i didnt respond to this sooner but i had to take a DEEEEEEEEP breath because.
imagine . perchance. you get a nasty scar through a saber burn or another miscellaneous battle wound and luke, before he’s really opened up about his lightning scars, dotes on you more than you could ever imagine. maybe youve never even seen his purple lightning strikes before. and maybe luke finds himself massaging oils (his oils) into your skin. imagine a waist scar, gnarly and sore, and luke carrying you to his bed, stroking your hand as he lifts your shirt to see the damage and a devastated, wounded, puppy dog look floods his soft face.
his fingertips just ghost over your scar, his touch darting away faster than the speed of light when you wince with pain. he whispers imsorryimsorry and squeezes your hand as he pours his body oil over your waist.
he asks you questions. does it feel tight? like itll rip everytime you stretch? can you feel any pressure when he pushes on it? does showering hurt? do they feel hot?
you wake up with him kissing and stroking your scars. he tells you you’re beautiful all the time, and he becomes nearly pissed lol when you say your scars make you look so bad because he cant even BELIEVE you’d say something so !? wrong.
sigh kel i love your luke thoughts so so so much thank you so much for answering my ask and im so sorry i took so long to properly respond<33333
When Ruth offered her hand started to pet Grumpy, the animal immediately melted into her touches, understanding she was one of the good people, his tail wagging so much, the little jumps he would give as she scratched behind his ears, and it just stayed there, enjoying all the pets, and when she paused, he'd stand, pressing both his paws against her chest, sniffing her all over, letting out happy little cries.
"Huh. He likes you. That's....that's actually rare. Normally he's grumpy to people and people are grumpy back or just scared because of his size.
The dog had a lot of soft skin to be pet because of its age, and it seemed to be a very calm animal.
The thunders started to hit loudly again, the power oscillating, as if the typhoon was trying to catch up.
"Thanks for helping." John said once he locked the door and went downstairs, Grumpy jumping onto the backseat and curling on his place, already preparing to take a nap. Traveling made it sleepy.
"Hey...you'll be home in no time, alright?" If he wasn't used to be acting rough, maybe he'd be saying a lot more, offering a hug or apologizing about everything, but it was his job and he needed to keep her safe.
The storm was quite violent as they left town. The power oscillating outside, some trees had fallen, some lower areas were flooding. The amount of water that started falling from the sky was formidable to say the least. Gladly John's driving was good, the truck was robust and they weren't having any problems. Because of how late it was, the streets were mostly empty, and one they got to the suburban area, he felt like he was in one of those liminal spaces, the sky so dark, absolute silence but the sound of the car engine, the lights outside limited to each house, all the rest, the fields, the distance, all seemed so pitch black.
John even shivered at some point, it was getting so cold. He looked to the side to see Ruth, she seemed so...she seemed so sick. Exhausted. He felt bad for her. The address, he didn't even need a GPS, until they were close to Cholla Springs. Gently he poked her shoulder. "Hey, we're almost there. Cheer up a little...." He tried, but he was a bit tired too.
Once he parked by her little ranch like property, he also let a sigh of relief. "If anyone asks....remember to say what we talked. That some maniac was stalking you....destroyed your car...I'm keeping you safe for a few days, alright?" He wasn't aware she was totally alone. He imagined at least a parent, sibling or boyfriend would be around, but...the place seemed so damn quiet.
"Come on, let's wake up, boy, we arrived."
Grumpy started wagging its tail and looking around, jumping off the car as soon as John opened the door, the animal froze when it felt the fresh breeze of the fields, of countryside.
'Awoooofff wooof wooffff wofff wuuuuuff wufff wuffff!' It started to hop in circles as John tried to remove the leash. "Easy boy...I'm trying to take this off...." Once John did, the dog bolted towards the house, jumping and rolling on the green grass, resting on its back and wiggling its paws up.
"Huh. I've never seen this big boy so energetic. I guess being here for a while will do him good" He smirked at little as he took his things from the car, rushing inside following Ruth. The rain had taken a short break before it started hitting hard again. John waited before walking in. "Where is everyone?" He asked, finding everything too silent.
"Grumpy, come boy, or you'll get all wet." Marston took a towel from his bag, crouched down to dry the animal, it seemed so happy, it made John chuckle. "Give them paws....let's dry your feet....good boy..."
"Miss...thanks for accepting me here, even if...." He sighed. "Well, even if there wasn't much of a better option. I'll explain everything tomorrow when you're well rested..."
Where did she go?
"Alright...I'll take the room upstairs then. Thank you. Could I maybe take a shower?" The dark rings under his eyes seemed larger, driving amidst that storm, the damn typhoon, which was threatening to get worse made him extra tired. "Can Grumpy sleep inside?"
Where was she? He was holding a pistol, ready to give it to her, but....where?
"Maybe tomorrow then....I guess everyone's tired."
He saw the bunny in the kitchen, it seemed so angry for some reason. "Hey little feller."
Marston didn't know if Ruth would allow his dog upstairs, so he took Grumpy's bed and placed near the bunny, by the small pen in the kitchen. "Behave, boy. Don't mess anything up, we're guests." The huge scary german shepherd curled down and started to whine though, crying to John, giving the puppy eyes. 'Abueh bueh bueh bueh bueh....' He sighed. "It's her house...and...just tonight..."
The dog rolled on his back and started to move its paws in the air as if it was dying. "Oh no need for drama...come on. Come on. You ain't alone, there's the bunny there." Grumpy paused and looked at Dinner. The little bunny looked like a fur ball of pure rage. Grumpy looked back at John, cried and jumped up to curl on his lap, Marston had to catch him.
"You're afraid of it?? Oh...why?? Well....it does look angry....alright...I'm taking you to my room with me...but no noise, no mess, alright? You already peed outside, right? Not wet cocks staining the floor, alright? It's a lady's house." He kept drying the animal with the towel, in more detail now since it was coming inside. "Your chest is all wet...play in the grass tomorrow, okay?" Grumpy rested his head on John's shoulder and closed its eyes to rest, loving the caresses of the towel. "You're such a big baby. You're getting heavy." John carried the animal and its bed upstairs, and he had no idea which room was his.
He set down the dog bed on the corridor and gently placed Grumpy on it. "Just a minute, boy."
John had left his boots by the porch, stepping silently to inspect if that was the right room, and the moment he looked, his lips parted as he saw the lady, naked on her bed, spread on soft sheets- he froze. The memory of what he had seen at the scanner room, and now again, that perfect body, and she seemed so relaxed. Her thighs and delicate legs, her ribs and that soft skin, those perfect breasts and that golden hair. He blushed, even stopped breathing for a while, eyes locked on her, feeling guilty each second he admired her, her perfect bottom, she seemed like a holy statue and he hadn't felt so horny in such a long time. "Mnm." He gave an awkward nod and stepped back and out of her room, cheeks and ears warm and red, he silently made his way to his own room. "Oh boy....she must be so tight." He panted and shook his head as he opened the other room, carrying his things inside, Grumpy grunting a little a John's comment, as if judging his owner. "Ah don't you start, I know what you do to the Santa Klaus plushie." The dog looked offended as it followed John carrying his little bed with his mouth.
Once his things were in the room, he felt sleep hit him, but he needed a shower. He was smelling precinct and that molded big city. Smelling like Blackwater, and that town, it was...different, he felt a shower there would make him feel pure and clean, like countryside.
He went to to shower, turned on the water, relaxed finally, the only tension left in him was the one seeing her all nude caused. Oh how he wanted to have that woman, he knew thoughts like that were his entrance ticket to hell, but....the thought of she asking for it...and him having her sweetly on that bed of hers....ughh....he closed his eyes and kept imagining it as he washed himself and relieved that tension.
Once he was done and had dried himself, he also felt the last of his energy gone when he got close to his bed. His bare feet against the wooden floor felt right and relaxing, he also sunk into his bed, didn't even pull the sheets, he just rested on top of them, his dark hair spread on the pillow- Grumpy was sleeping on his little dog one when he checked, but didn't take long until he felt the animal jumping onto it, resting by his side. Since John looked so peaceful and so tired, the dog respected his space this time. The rain outside, the wooden noises caused by the wind, it was all so relaxing. Didn't take long for him to hug a pillow, dreaming about her, her lips, those breasts, that perfect spot between her thigh and her sides. "Dang....why did she have to look so.....so perfect like that, Grumpy...." The hot water that relaxed him for good, he was so calm and sleepy he even seemed to be drugged. "I'll wake up hard like hell for sure....mnmhg...she's so perfect..."
The dog grunted at John, judging him again, wanting to sleep. "Alright....I'll shut up....just...this pillow is mine...."
He blacked out, had very sweet dreams, and for the first time in years, he didn't have a nightmare. He just...loss track of everything, he just slept. Slept for so many hours.
His phone vibrated a couple of hours later, but he didn't even notice. If not shaken, he probably would sleep until noon, it had been the best sleep ever, breathing in and out, using the pillows as cover, he even forgot who he was or where he was.
@girllock-writes
Ruth had smiled at Grumpy. She thought it was funny that John called him her husband... obviously, Grumpy was a dog, but Ruth thought that she wouldn't mind a man like that. Capible, but also so willing to show affection. Her fingers brushed his fur, scratching behind his ears. She felt safe, slottwed between the agent and his dog. Like nothing in the world could get to her.
She listened quietly when John spoke, feeling the heavy sort of energy his words carried. All that pain and numbess, it would drive her crazy. He'd been through so much. It was a crude story to hear, but Ruth just kept herself next to him, wishing that she could do anything to make him forget that pain. He was supposed to be safe in her house, safe from the memories and trauma of his past. He was free to speak of them, but Ruth prayed they wouldn't haunt him here. Though his past was sad, part of her found it slightly impressive that he had survived so much. John was a man of great skill and Ruth knew that was something to be admired. The scars didn't look like wounds to her, but more like trophies... the world had tried to destroy him but he had survived and told it to go fuck itself.
Her eyes returned to him when he commanded her to answer. She really realllly didn't want to. There was a coldness to his voice, one she hadn't heard since she'd met him. Her eyes blinked up at him, knowing she should listen but also just as scared of answering as she was of not. Ruth wasn't particularly scared of John, but her heart skipped a few beats, thinking of all the things he could do to her. He was a killer. He was all those terrible things he'd listed. And she saw past that. Ruth couldn't see him as simply those flaws, but it would be foolish to ignore them. Her hesitation wasn't necessarily one of anxiety, but of introspection. She thought for a moment that if he was a worse man, their dynamic would be very different.
Picking up the phone, Ruth felt a little like a scolded puppy. "Hey," she answered, sitting back a bit as a new dread filled her stomach. 'Sweetie!' The woman's voice rang over the line. 'I decided that I didn't want to wait to visit and I'm coming tomorrow. Isn't that wonderful!' Ruth cringed. She had completely forgotten... her mother had wanted to visit. Tomorrow she was supposed to have lunch with her father. And how was she going to explain John? "Nows not such a great time, mom," she tried to explain as she stood to pace. Ruth always paced when she was on the phone. "It's very busy and–" 'Oh, you worry too much! Besides, it's not like you ever have guests.' Ruth flinched, glancing at John. "Actually... I do. Right now... Something happened in town and the police..." 'Well, the more the merrier,' the older woman said, as if she hadn't heard a word of Ruth's story. 'I'll drop in about dinner tomorrow. Then we can go into Blackwater on Monday for shopping.' "But I have work and–" 'See you tomorrow, sweetie!' The line clicked shut. Ruth had to hold back a frustrated sigh. Not only was she hiding from monsters, she had to deal with domestic issues too. Slumping back onto the couch, Ruth pulled her legs to her chest, wondering what she was going to do about the mess she was in.
"I'm aware you may have family issues, but we don't want them thinking you got kidnapped and alerting the local police. Johnson was already out of script, specially the part in which he showed up in my room to threaten me while my butt was out like God made it. Don't forget the cops think you were threatened by some maniac. There are levels of top secret above top secret, and for a reason. Keep things simple. We don't want you stepping in Blackwater anytime soon, so I won't let your mother take you." He sighed, scratched the back of his head, hating himself for causing so much tension. He knew it was her mom's fault in a way, but he knew he had to keep things in control.
Grumpy was already wandering around the house since she stood up to pace, and John's clothes were a bit wrinkled due to Ruth resting against him. And that had made him fee all sensible, physcally. Any soft brushing against his skin felt like heaven. "You'll get paid fondly for cooperating, if that helps you stay motivated and see all this in a more positive way. You don't need to stress too much, despite all the problems. If my heart stops, they'll know because of my watch, and a whole team will come to make sure you're safe. Also, I can't harm you in any way. I'm here to keep you safe and well. And honestly, I just wanna help you."
He sighed, feeling bad for her, for the whole situation. He was getting attached, he knew. Attached and attracted. John could feel her scent all over him. Making him feel very strong things, imagine things, have those warm shivers. "Your mom seems like something else." He joked. Seeing her curling on the couch holding her knees just reminded him how young she was, and how stressed her life felt. "Hey, don't be like that...you'll be fine. I can get rid of your mom if you'd like. Just kiddng. Come on...cheer up." He poked her shoulder a little, eyes patient, he really cared. "Sorry, bad joke. I could have her win some cruiser offer though, so she spends a month away to give you some peace." He smirked playfully. "Come on, what things you want the most? Focus on the good things. It's what they told me to say in the motivational course."
Ruth glanced at John. She was grateful for him and for the protection, but it still felt confusing and new... After all it had only been a couple days. "I know," she said quietly, understanding just how important it was to keep the act up. "And thanks... She's... well, she's my mother and I love her, but after she left my dad... I swear she's gone a little off the rails." Ruth sighed before sitting up a little straighter.
"She's going to want my room... I always move to the guest room for her. But that's your space." Ruth gave a small huff, thinking of a hundred things she should tell the man to prepare him. "She's pushy sometimes. Doesn't ever take no for an answer and–" Ruth groaned, feeling a sense of dread. And maybe jealousy at the thought. "And she will try to flirt with you. I get that her relationship with dad wasn't good but it can get... intense." Ruth hated the idea of her mom trying to come on to John. He was hers... sort of. Not in a romantic sense, maybe. Even if she sometimes wished. But that was silly. If anything, he was her friend, and he was technically here for work. Not play. Even so, he'd been assigned to her. Just her. Ruth knew it was sort of selfish and stupid to be jealous over that. Had he not already rejected the advances of that girl in the parking lot? Rith wondered if men cared about that sort of thing... women being jealous. Not that she had a right to be.
Really looking at him now, Ruth gave a sad sort of smile. "I don't need money, John. I don't really want it. I know it's important... and I want to help... but it's like you said. What if I can't? What if I made it worse?"
She allowed herself a small laugh at his joke. "Don't offer. It's too tempting." She stood again, moving toward the kitchen for the food. She returned a few minutes later with plates and glasses, setting them on the table before getting the pizza. It probably should have cooled a little longer, but Ruth could tell John was hungry. She sat back down next to him, trying to enjoy a last night of peace. Monsters were scary, sure. But so was her mother sometimes.
John blinked a few times, paying attention to Ruth's words. Whenever she actually spoke, not the usual short answers or glares, the actual times she talked, it always felt so meaningful and important. "It's your house. I can sleep in the car if you need. Or in the living room." He really wouldn't mind if he had to. As long as he was close to the house to stop some attack.
"She'd what? Hit on me? But she doesn't even know me. Don't this small town have any men?" He chuckled, and he was actually slowly getting surprised that Ruth seemed so serious about it, angry or annoyed apparently. She'd look as angry and Dinner, it was too cute.
"Well, I guess your mother will have to learn how to accept no's. Cause I doubt she's more stubborn than me." He ran hhis fingers through his hair, adjusting it, it was already getting longer— like just being there eating her food and sleeping well was already making him healthier— his grayish eyes starting to show some brown.
"You don't need money? You're the first person to ever tell me that. Everyone needs. Even if you're selfless, you need money to help others. You need a new car to get your work done." He was impressed, but not very happy about it. Things would have been easier if she just accepted some price. But...that also made her even more special. The agent in him was upset at his work becoming a bit more difficult, but John....he was actually happy she was like that.
"No, Ruth. I didn't say I'd pay you to join the operation team. I said I'd pay you to do as I say." He sighed, rubbing his brow. "I already said I don't want you to join. You'd suffer and I don't want you to suffer. You're a good woman. Too good for this world." He said while staring the void, looking down, the agent at him sighing at his own defeat for getting too attached to her.
And then she laughed at his bad jokes, making him smile. He followed her with his eyes as Ruth walked to the kitchen to get the pizza out of the oven onto the table, his stomach growled loudly, but his eyes kept following her again, and she sat close to him again— that made his eyes go soft and sweet— he was melting more every time Ruth interacted with him. And again, he bit his lips, wondering if she was approaching only because he was afraid to be alone.
The young woman thought about John's words. 'I'd pay you to do as I say.' They were a bit odd to her. Even if it was to protect her, he must have some other reason, wouldn't he? Ruth wondered again what the point of all this was. She understood what was happening, she just didn't know why. Part of her wondered if John even fully knew why. The rest of the daylight seemed to drag on slowly. Ruth found herself not wanting to move from John's side. Even when she wanted to go shower and get into her pjs, staying next to him sounded nicer.
Maybe she was afraid of being alone... she hadn't really been before. But then again, if she had a choice of getting close to someone to fill that lonely void, John didn't seem like the ideal person. Or perhaps he was since he was the only one around. Ruth really wasn't friends with many people her own age, and even though John was a bit older, he was much closer to her in that respect than anyone else.
As of now, she was only really afraid of the pressures of the coming day. She had closed her eyes as she leaned against John, feeling sleep pull at her. Sliding away from him a little, Ruth layed down, her head resting on his leg as she maneuverd her legs behind where Grumpy was sitting on the other cushion. It was like John was her pillow and Grumpy was her blanket. She sighed, her eyes still heavy even though she wasn't very tired.
"What if we just went away again. Far from here... I know you said it would be suspicious, but I... I just want to be alone with you. It's quiet and safe... It's– Well, it's nice."
John ate the pizza she made him like his life depended on it. Absolutely delicious, better than any pizza he had ordered, better than anything he had eaten in Blackwater. He ate until his stomach was full, and if he was alone, he'd sleep right there, wake up, eat more and then go back to sleep. "So good....no wonder food stuff literally is your job." He cleaned his plate, every time. Ate his pizza and whatever was left of Ruth's, the parts she didn't eat. Even the dough alone was soft and so tasty, and all so warm. "I'll definitely get fat if I stay here." He chuckled, giving her a soft smile. "Thank you. For real. These past few days, I feel like I'm in some luxury five star inn fifty years in the past. And I ain't even that old."
John noticed she was awfully quiet. He wondered if it had been something he said, or if she was just anxious for the next day. Grumpy was definitely poking Ruth around more often, bumping his head against her leg, acting cuddly, wanting to cheer her up, looking up at her and wagging his tail slowly, as if to tell the young woman everything was okay, that he was happy to be there with her. Seeing the dog follow her around the house the whole afternoon pretty much told him she needed emotional support, and he was glad Grumpy was good at that, because John knew he was awful about it.
When he was almost napping on the couch, he felt the pressure of her body against him. He kept his eyes closed, relaxed. She was just lonely, he'd just let her rest. She needed human contact, well, people needed, and she was so lonely and he was the only person there. Grumpy made sure to cuddle her all the time, giving her small licks from time to time, pressing its cold nose against her skin.
Watching movies, digesting food and feeling Ruth napping practically on his lap, that was something he didn't know he needed. It was hard to not feel protective, the urge to pet her hair was big, but he resisted it. Approaching too much and getting intimate would be a problem, wouldn't it? He just rested his arm on her protectively.
"What? Run away?" His lips moved into a sad smile. "We shouldn't. It would make the team lose trust in all this, it would make them want to bring us back." He sighed, and damn he understood so well, he also wanted to run away from all that. "Why me of all people though? What about your friends? Don't you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Or your family?" He couldn't understand she actually liked him, he believed that was happening because he was the only person around. "Considering Grumpy is a dog, technically, you are alone with me." Grumpy groaned, pressed its face against Ruth's back. "Why it's nice being with me? All I've done so far was order you around, eat your food, sleep on your bed, invade your space. I know I ain't awful but...you sure you're just not...too lonely?"
Ruth reached her hand back, scratching at Grumpy's fur. He was so calming to be around. She thought he really did make a good therapy dog. John's words hit her sort of hard. Maybe she was just lonely... but even so, she didn't ever want him to leave. Despite all the reasons why she shouldn't like him or why it didn't make sense, Ruth did. She felt bad, not knowing what she truly felt or why. All she knew was that right now, John meant more to her than most of the people she knew.
She gave a guilty sigh, but didn't move from her spot on his lap. "Maybe I am just lonely," she said quietly, her eyes staring at the television. "I don't know why it's nice... But it is. I don't mind the ordering. I like sharing my space, my things, my food. And you're the first person in a while who has made me feel like sharing was more than just a chore." She turned, staring up at him. Her eyes were sad. "Most of my friends are much older... They have lives, families and kids and grandkids, they are already fulfilled. I've got a few friends my age, but they're all gone off, pursuing dreams that don't involve me. No one's been interested in dating me in... well... ever. And my parents–" She paused with a sigh. "They love me, I know that. But being around them makes me feel even more lonely, like I'm destined to forever be a bridge between two things that should never touch."
Ruth found herself mindlessly petting Grumpy to keep her hands occupied. He was soft and sweet, much like she thought John was. "You're here to do your job. I know that. I guess, for the first time in a while, it finally feels like someone cares of their own accord, not just because they think they owe me something."
She turned her head back away, feeling as if she might cry if she kept looking at John. "I know it's a silly thing to think. And it's terrible of me to see you that way. It's unfair. I know I'm lonely... Maybe it's just because you are here... But you're my friend, or, at least, I hope you are. Is it wrong to like someone even if the circumstances force you together?" Ruth owed John her life multiple times over now. She knew the situation of their meeting was unorthodox, but she still cared about him.
"Would you still ask that if we had met a different way? A better one? Or... a less forced one?"
"No, it ain't wrong. Not at all. People meet each other in the most random ways. You're not...forced to like or dislike people because of the way you met them, people just...I'm not sure....they...react to people and...most times people simply hate or love based on circunstance and first impressions." The way she kept looking at him, she seemed to hold so much guilt and hesitation. Every word she said meant sonething, in the sense she had clearly thought a lot about it all.
Listening to how she ended up alone was sort of heartbreaking. It hadn't been something fast and violent like it had happened to himself, but slow, silent and indifferent. "Well, I'm old." He chuckled a bit. "Not like Johnson but...someone as young as you must see me like some old ugly guy who smells like cigarettes." He checked his pockets, didn't find the cigarette box, then looked at the little counter by the entrance and it was right there where he left. He hadn't smoked since he put it there so casually, and he hadn't even realized.
"Yes, I think you can say that I'm your friend. We stole chocolate, you made me a pie, gave me a very comfy room and let me sleep in your bed— you treat my senior dog well, you're nice to me and you're honestly a good person. We watch cartoons together I mean." It was a bunch of good things. And they slept close to each other holding hands, and they were almost...cuddling on the couch, like it was so natural.
That made him stop and think for a minute.
What was Ruth becoming to him? A daughter he never had? A person he had to protect? Sometimes maybe what a mom he also never had? A friend? Someone special? Someone he was attracted to?Maybe all those things together. "If we had met differently, in the sense....if you had more people around you? Or...if we had normal lives and just met each other while going to the bank or something? I....yeah I think I'd still ask. Not because you have some sort of problem, but because people normally don't like me. Since I was a kid I get those stares....like my presence is some sort of offense. Then I commited a lot of crimes and people who know....well, they hate me or fear me and those who don't know, well, they don't approach me much. Maybe because of my face, my tattoos, my awful mood, my smell of smoke. I don't look like someone very sociable. And I ain't. The world stepped on me when I needed help...when I was vulnerable, so why the heck I have to look nice to the world? If I'm feeling angry or tired or annoyed, I just show it. I thought you'd treat me like most people do but...but you're so nice. Too nice."
Because of her sad puppy eyes and the slow emotional voice, he decided to hold her. Just hold her protectivelly. Maybe what was left of his paternal instinct was hitting. He couldn't tell. "Sorry for asking that. I didn't mean to make you feel....wrong. You ain't. You're fine. You're okay." He sighed. "We being here...ain't so forced. I asked them that. I told you, they wanted to keep you there but...you were so anxious it was getting on my nerves, I couldn't just leave you like that. I thought being home near the people you know would be better for you. I knew the others would be afraid to come so I volunteered knowing they'd accept it."
He smiled a bit shyly, but so happilly. "Yeah, we're friends. I also had no one. Dealing with people also felt like chores. "I like being with you too. Damn, too much. Definitely more than I should like."
It seemed silly to Ruth that people would just be mean to him for no reason. She didn't understand why anyone would do that for any reason. Even if it was based on looks or vibes, both of those seemed pretty surface level. She didn't quite know how to understand 'too nice'. Was nice bad? Maybe not bad bad, but did it make her vulnerable? Ruth had never thought about it that way. She'd always been told to just be nice to people because it was right. Glad to hear they were friends, Ruth gave him a small smile. It made her heart beat a little faster when he said he did like her.
But more than he should? What did that mean? Ruth was glad the light was pretty dim, her ears were turning an embarrassed shade of pink.
"You don't have to feel sorry," she said, not knowing how else to address the other things he had said. "Really... What has happened has happened. There's not much we can do about what life throws at us, we can only face it with a willing spirit." Sitting up, Ruth rubbed her eyes sleepily.
"We shoukd head upstairs," she suggested. "Before we fall asleep on the couch again... My back was not a fan of that." Scratching at Grumpy's ears, she beckoned for the dog to follow as if her were her own. She almost forgot he wasn't. Picking up the dishes quickly, she left them in the sink, not wanting to deal with them at the moment. As she started to the stairs, she got a strange feeling. It was like that tug she felt when she'd seen that creature that morning. That something was calling for her and she just couldn't ignore it. Pushing the feeling down, Ruth climbed the steps, thinking once she got to bed with John, she should never leave.
❛ i do appreciate you helping me. ❜
❛ i do feel at home when i'm with you. ❜
❛ i do hope you know how loved you are. ❜
❛ i do love being yours. ❜
❛ i do love the way you say my name. ❜
❛ i do love you a little more than i realized. ❜
❛ i do plan on being there for you always. ❜
❛ i do think about you more than i probably should. ❜
❛ i do want to keep making memories with you. ❜
❛ i do want to spend more time with you. ❜
❛ do you care about me too? ❜
❛ do you know how cute you are? ❜
❛ do you mind if i borrow your sweater? ❜
❛ do you mind if i sit with you? ❜
❛ do you need a helping hand with that? ❜
❛ do you need me to do something? ❜
❛ do you need some help? ❜
❛ do you want me to kiss it better? ❜
❛ do you want me to stay until you fall asleep? ❜
❛ do you want me to stay? ❜
❛ do you want me to walk you home? ❜
❛ do you want to dance with me? ❜
❛ do you want to go out with me? ❜
❛ do you want to hold my hand? ❜
❛ do you want to kiss me? ❜
❛ you do always know how to cheer me up. ❜
❛ you do brighten up the whole room. ❜
❛ you do deserve to be taken care of, too. ❜
❛ you do give the best hugs. ❜
❛ you do have a way of making ordinary things feel special. ❜
❛ you do know how much i care about you, right? ❜
❛ you do look cute when you're sleepy. ❜
❛ you do look perfect in my arms. ❜
❛ you do look very beautiful today. ❜
❛ you do look very cozy like that. ❜
❛ you do make everything feel easier. ❜
❛ you do make me feel like i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be. ❜
❛ you do make me feel safe. ❜
❛ you do make me smile without even trying. ❜
❛ you do make my heart feel very full. ❜
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When Ruth offered her hand started to pet Grumpy, the animal immediately melted into her touches, understanding she was one of the good people, his tail wagging so much, the little jumps he would give as she scratched behind his ears, and it just stayed there, enjoying all the pets, and when she paused, he'd stand, pressing both his paws against her chest, sniffing her all over, letting out happy little cries.
"Huh. He likes you. That's....that's actually rare. Normally he's grumpy to people and people are grumpy back or just scared because of his size.
The dog had a lot of soft skin to be pet because of its age, and it seemed to be a very calm animal.
The thunders started to hit loudly again, the power oscillating, as if the typhoon was trying to catch up.
"Thanks for helping." John said once he locked the door and went downstairs, Grumpy jumping onto the backseat and curling on his place, already preparing to take a nap. Traveling made it sleepy.
"Hey...you'll be home in no time, alright?" If he wasn't used to be acting rough, maybe he'd be saying a lot more, offering a hug or apologizing about everything, but it was his job and he needed to keep her safe.
The storm was quite violent as they left town. The power oscillating outside, some trees had fallen, some lower areas were flooding. The amount of water that started falling from the sky was formidable to say the least. Gladly John's driving was good, the truck was robust and they weren't having any problems. Because of how late it was, the streets were mostly empty, and one they got to the suburban area, he felt like he was in one of those liminal spaces, the sky so dark, absolute silence but the sound of the car engine, the lights outside limited to each house, all the rest, the fields, the distance, all seemed so pitch black.
John even shivered at some point, it was getting so cold. He looked to the side to see Ruth, she seemed so...she seemed so sick. Exhausted. He felt bad for her. The address, he didn't even need a GPS, until they were close to Cholla Springs. Gently he poked her shoulder. "Hey, we're almost there. Cheer up a little...." He tried, but he was a bit tired too.
Once he parked by her little ranch like property, he also let a sigh of relief. "If anyone asks....remember to say what we talked. That some maniac was stalking you....destroyed your car...I'm keeping you safe for a few days, alright?" He wasn't aware she was totally alone. He imagined at least a parent, sibling or boyfriend would be around, but...the place seemed so damn quiet.
"Come on, let's wake up, boy, we arrived."
Grumpy started wagging its tail and looking around, jumping off the car as soon as John opened the door, the animal froze when it felt the fresh breeze of the fields, of countryside.
'Awoooofff wooof wooffff wofff wuuuuuff wufff wuffff!' It started to hop in circles as John tried to remove the leash. "Easy boy...I'm trying to take this off...." Once John did, the dog bolted towards the house, jumping and rolling on the green grass, resting on its back and wiggling its paws up.
"Huh. I've never seen this big boy so energetic. I guess being here for a while will do him good" He smirked at little as he took his things from the car, rushing inside following Ruth. The rain had taken a short break before it started hitting hard again. John waited before walking in. "Where is everyone?" He asked, finding everything too silent.
"Grumpy, come boy, or you'll get all wet." Marston took a towel from his bag, crouched down to dry the animal, it seemed so happy, it made John chuckle. "Give them paws....let's dry your feet....good boy..."
"Miss...thanks for accepting me here, even if...." He sighed. "Well, even if there wasn't much of a better option. I'll explain everything tomorrow when you're well rested..."
Where did she go?
"Alright...I'll take the room upstairs then. Thank you. Could I maybe take a shower?" The dark rings under his eyes seemed larger, driving amidst that storm, the damn typhoon, which was threatening to get worse made him extra tired. "Can Grumpy sleep inside?"
Where was she? He was holding a pistol, ready to give it to her, but....where?
"Maybe tomorrow then....I guess everyone's tired."
He saw the bunny in the kitchen, it seemed so angry for some reason. "Hey little feller."
Marston didn't know if Ruth would allow his dog upstairs, so he took Grumpy's bed and placed near the bunny, by the small pen in the kitchen. "Behave, boy. Don't mess anything up, we're guests." The huge scary german shepherd curled down and started to whine though, crying to John, giving the puppy eyes. 'Abueh bueh bueh bueh bueh....' He sighed. "It's her house...and...just tonight..."
The dog rolled on his back and started to move its paws in the air as if it was dying. "Oh no need for drama...come on. Come on. You ain't alone, there's the bunny there." Grumpy paused and looked at Dinner. The little bunny looked like a fur ball of pure rage. Grumpy looked back at John, cried and jumped up to curl on his lap, Marston had to catch him.
"You're afraid of it?? Oh...why?? Well....it does look angry....alright...I'm taking you to my room with me...but no noise, no mess, alright? You already peed outside, right? Not wet cocks staining the floor, alright? It's a lady's house." He kept drying the animal with the towel, in more detail now since it was coming inside. "Your chest is all wet...play in the grass tomorrow, okay?" Grumpy rested his head on John's shoulder and closed its eyes to rest, loving the caresses of the towel. "You're such a big baby. You're getting heavy." John carried the animal and its bed upstairs, and he had no idea which room was his.
He set down the dog bed on the corridor and gently placed Grumpy on it. "Just a minute, boy."
John had left his boots by the porch, stepping silently to inspect if that was the right room, and the moment he looked, his lips parted as he saw the lady, naked on her bed, spread on soft sheets- he froze. The memory of what he had seen at the scanner room, and now again, that perfect body, and she seemed so relaxed. Her thighs and delicate legs, her ribs and that soft skin, those perfect breasts and that golden hair. He blushed, even stopped breathing for a while, eyes locked on her, feeling guilty each second he admired her, her perfect bottom, she seemed like a holy statue and he hadn't felt so horny in such a long time. "Mnm." He gave an awkward nod and stepped back and out of her room, cheeks and ears warm and red, he silently made his way to his own room. "Oh boy....she must be so tight." He panted and shook his head as he opened the other room, carrying his things inside, Grumpy grunting a little a John's comment, as if judging his owner. "Ah don't you start, I know what you do to the Santa Klaus plushie." The dog looked offended as it followed John carrying his little bed with his mouth.
Once his things were in the room, he felt sleep hit him, but he needed a shower. He was smelling precinct and that molded big city. Smelling like Blackwater, and that town, it was...different, he felt a shower there would make him feel pure and clean, like countryside.
He went to to shower, turned on the water, relaxed finally, the only tension left in him was the one seeing her all nude caused. Oh how he wanted to have that woman, he knew thoughts like that were his entrance ticket to hell, but....the thought of she asking for it...and him having her sweetly on that bed of hers....ughh....he closed his eyes and kept imagining it as he washed himself and relieved that tension.
Once he was done and had dried himself, he also felt the last of his energy gone when he got close to his bed. His bare feet against the wooden floor felt right and relaxing, he also sunk into his bed, didn't even pull the sheets, he just rested on top of them, his dark hair spread on the pillow- Grumpy was sleeping on his little dog one when he checked, but didn't take long until he felt the animal jumping onto it, resting by his side. Since John looked so peaceful and so tired, the dog respected his space this time. The rain outside, the wooden noises caused by the wind, it was all so relaxing. Didn't take long for him to hug a pillow, dreaming about her, her lips, those breasts, that perfect spot between her thigh and her sides. "Dang....why did she have to look so.....so perfect like that, Grumpy...." The hot water that relaxed him for good, he was so calm and sleepy he even seemed to be drugged. "I'll wake up hard like hell for sure....mnmhg...she's so perfect..."
The dog grunted at John, judging him again, wanting to sleep. "Alright....I'll shut up....just...this pillow is mine...."
He blacked out, had very sweet dreams, and for the first time in years, he didn't have a nightmare. He just...loss track of everything, he just slept. Slept for so many hours.
His phone vibrated a couple of hours later, but he didn't even notice. If not shaken, he probably would sleep until noon, it had been the best sleep ever, breathing in and out, using the pillows as cover, he even forgot who he was or where he was.
@girllock-writes
Ruth had smiled at Grumpy. She thought it was funny that John called him her husband... obviously, Grumpy was a dog, but Ruth thought that she wouldn't mind a man like that. Capible, but also so willing to show affection. Her fingers brushed his fur, scratching behind his ears. She felt safe, slottwed between the agent and his dog. Like nothing in the world could get to her.
She listened quietly when John spoke, feeling the heavy sort of energy his words carried. All that pain and numbess, it would drive her crazy. He'd been through so much. It was a crude story to hear, but Ruth just kept herself next to him, wishing that she could do anything to make him forget that pain. He was supposed to be safe in her house, safe from the memories and trauma of his past. He was free to speak of them, but Ruth prayed they wouldn't haunt him here. Though his past was sad, part of her found it slightly impressive that he had survived so much. John was a man of great skill and Ruth knew that was something to be admired. The scars didn't look like wounds to her, but more like trophies... the world had tried to destroy him but he had survived and told it to go fuck itself.
Her eyes returned to him when he commanded her to answer. She really realllly didn't want to. There was a coldness to his voice, one she hadn't heard since she'd met him. Her eyes blinked up at him, knowing she should listen but also just as scared of answering as she was of not. Ruth wasn't particularly scared of John, but her heart skipped a few beats, thinking of all the things he could do to her. He was a killer. He was all those terrible things he'd listed. And she saw past that. Ruth couldn't see him as simply those flaws, but it would be foolish to ignore them. Her hesitation wasn't necessarily one of anxiety, but of introspection. She thought for a moment that if he was a worse man, their dynamic would be very different.
Picking up the phone, Ruth felt a little like a scolded puppy. "Hey," she answered, sitting back a bit as a new dread filled her stomach. 'Sweetie!' The woman's voice rang over the line. 'I decided that I didn't want to wait to visit and I'm coming tomorrow. Isn't that wonderful!' Ruth cringed. She had completely forgotten... her mother had wanted to visit. Tomorrow she was supposed to have lunch with her father. And how was she going to explain John? "Nows not such a great time, mom," she tried to explain as she stood to pace. Ruth always paced when she was on the phone. "It's very busy and–" 'Oh, you worry too much! Besides, it's not like you ever have guests.' Ruth flinched, glancing at John. "Actually... I do. Right now... Something happened in town and the police..." 'Well, the more the merrier,' the older woman said, as if she hadn't heard a word of Ruth's story. 'I'll drop in about dinner tomorrow. Then we can go into Blackwater on Monday for shopping.' "But I have work and–" 'See you tomorrow, sweetie!' The line clicked shut. Ruth had to hold back a frustrated sigh. Not only was she hiding from monsters, she had to deal with domestic issues too. Slumping back onto the couch, Ruth pulled her legs to her chest, wondering what she was going to do about the mess she was in.
"I'm aware you may have family issues, but we don't want them thinking you got kidnapped and alerting the local police. Johnson was already out of script, specially the part in which he showed up in my room to threaten me while my butt was out like God made it. Don't forget the cops think you were threatened by some maniac. There are levels of top secret above top secret, and for a reason. Keep things simple. We don't want you stepping in Blackwater anytime soon, so I won't let your mother take you." He sighed, scratched the back of his head, hating himself for causing so much tension. He knew it was her mom's fault in a way, but he knew he had to keep things in control.
Grumpy was already wandering around the house since she stood up to pace, and John's clothes were a bit wrinkled due to Ruth resting against him. And that had made him fee all sensible, physcally. Any soft brushing against his skin felt like heaven. "You'll get paid fondly for cooperating, if that helps you stay motivated and see all this in a more positive way. You don't need to stress too much, despite all the problems. If my heart stops, they'll know because of my watch, and a whole team will come to make sure you're safe. Also, I can't harm you in any way. I'm here to keep you safe and well. And honestly, I just wanna help you."
He sighed, feeling bad for her, for the whole situation. He was getting attached, he knew. Attached and attracted. John could feel her scent all over him. Making him feel very strong things, imagine things, have those warm shivers. "Your mom seems like something else." He joked. Seeing her curling on the couch holding her knees just reminded him how young she was, and how stressed her life felt. "Hey, don't be like that...you'll be fine. I can get rid of your mom if you'd like. Just kiddng. Come on...cheer up." He poked her shoulder a little, eyes patient, he really cared. "Sorry, bad joke. I could have her win some cruiser offer though, so she spends a month away to give you some peace." He smirked playfully. "Come on, what things you want the most? Focus on the good things. It's what they told me to say in the motivational course."
Ruth glanced at John. She was grateful for him and for the protection, but it still felt confusing and new... After all it had only been a couple days. "I know," she said quietly, understanding just how important it was to keep the act up. "And thanks... She's... well, she's my mother and I love her, but after she left my dad... I swear she's gone a little off the rails." Ruth sighed before sitting up a little straighter.
"She's going to want my room... I always move to the guest room for her. But that's your space." Ruth gave a small huff, thinking of a hundred things she should tell the man to prepare him. "She's pushy sometimes. Doesn't ever take no for an answer and–" Ruth groaned, feeling a sense of dread. And maybe jealousy at the thought. "And she will try to flirt with you. I get that her relationship with dad wasn't good but it can get... intense." Ruth hated the idea of her mom trying to come on to John. He was hers... sort of. Not in a romantic sense, maybe. Even if she sometimes wished. But that was silly. If anything, he was her friend, and he was technically here for work. Not play. Even so, he'd been assigned to her. Just her. Ruth knew it was sort of selfish and stupid to be jealous over that. Had he not already rejected the advances of that girl in the parking lot? Rith wondered if men cared about that sort of thing... women being jealous. Not that she had a right to be.
Really looking at him now, Ruth gave a sad sort of smile. "I don't need money, John. I don't really want it. I know it's important... and I want to help... but it's like you said. What if I can't? What if I made it worse?"
She allowed herself a small laugh at his joke. "Don't offer. It's too tempting." She stood again, moving toward the kitchen for the food. She returned a few minutes later with plates and glasses, setting them on the table before getting the pizza. It probably should have cooled a little longer, but Ruth could tell John was hungry. She sat back down next to him, trying to enjoy a last night of peace. Monsters were scary, sure. But so was her mother sometimes.
John blinked a few times, paying attention to Ruth's words. Whenever she actually spoke, not the usual short answers or glares, the actual times she talked, it always felt so meaningful and important. "It's your house. I can sleep in the car if you need. Or in the living room." He really wouldn't mind if he had to. As long as he was close to the house to stop some attack.
"She'd what? Hit on me? But she doesn't even know me. Don't this small town have any men?" He chuckled, and he was actually slowly getting surprised that Ruth seemed so serious about it, angry or annoyed apparently. She'd look as angry and Dinner, it was too cute.
"Well, I guess your mother will have to learn how to accept no's. Cause I doubt she's more stubborn than me." He ran hhis fingers through his hair, adjusting it, it was already getting longer— like just being there eating her food and sleeping well was already making him healthier— his grayish eyes starting to show some brown.
"You don't need money? You're the first person to ever tell me that. Everyone needs. Even if you're selfless, you need money to help others. You need a new car to get your work done." He was impressed, but not very happy about it. Things would have been easier if she just accepted some price. But...that also made her even more special. The agent in him was upset at his work becoming a bit more difficult, but John....he was actually happy she was like that.
"No, Ruth. I didn't say I'd pay you to join the operation team. I said I'd pay you to do as I say." He sighed, rubbing his brow. "I already said I don't want you to join. You'd suffer and I don't want you to suffer. You're a good woman. Too good for this world." He said while staring the void, looking down, the agent at him sighing at his own defeat for getting too attached to her.
And then she laughed at his bad jokes, making him smile. He followed her with his eyes as Ruth walked to the kitchen to get the pizza out of the oven onto the table, his stomach growled loudly, but his eyes kept following her again, and she sat close to him again— that made his eyes go soft and sweet— he was melting more every time Ruth interacted with him. And again, he bit his lips, wondering if she was approaching only because he was afraid to be alone.
The young woman thought about John's words. 'I'd pay you to do as I say.' They were a bit odd to her. Even if it was to protect her, he must have some other reason, wouldn't he? Ruth wondered again what the point of all this was. She understood what was happening, she just didn't know why. Part of her wondered if John even fully knew why. The rest of the daylight seemed to drag on slowly. Ruth found herself not wanting to move from John's side. Even when she wanted to go shower and get into her pjs, staying next to him sounded nicer.
Maybe she was afraid of being alone... she hadn't really been before. But then again, if she had a choice of getting close to someone to fill that lonely void, John didn't seem like the ideal person. Or perhaps he was since he was the only one around. Ruth really wasn't friends with many people her own age, and even though John was a bit older, he was much closer to her in that respect than anyone else.
As of now, she was only really afraid of the pressures of the coming day. She had closed her eyes as she leaned against John, feeling sleep pull at her. Sliding away from him a little, Ruth layed down, her head resting on his leg as she maneuverd her legs behind where Grumpy was sitting on the other cushion. It was like John was her pillow and Grumpy was her blanket. She sighed, her eyes still heavy even though she wasn't very tired.
"What if we just went away again. Far from here... I know you said it would be suspicious, but I... I just want to be alone with you. It's quiet and safe... It's– Well, it's nice."
John ate the pizza she made him like his life depended on it. Absolutely delicious, better than any pizza he had ordered, better than anything he had eaten in Blackwater. He ate until his stomach was full, and if he was alone, he'd sleep right there, wake up, eat more and then go back to sleep. "So good....no wonder food stuff literally is your job." He cleaned his plate, every time. Ate his pizza and whatever was left of Ruth's, the parts she didn't eat. Even the dough alone was soft and so tasty, and all so warm. "I'll definitely get fat if I stay here." He chuckled, giving her a soft smile. "Thank you. For real. These past few days, I feel like I'm in some luxury five star inn fifty years in the past. And I ain't even that old."
John noticed she was awfully quiet. He wondered if it had been something he said, or if she was just anxious for the next day. Grumpy was definitely poking Ruth around more often, bumping his head against her leg, acting cuddly, wanting to cheer her up, looking up at her and wagging his tail slowly, as if to tell the young woman everything was okay, that he was happy to be there with her. Seeing the dog follow her around the house the whole afternoon pretty much told him she needed emotional support, and he was glad Grumpy was good at that, because John knew he was awful about it.
When he was almost napping on the couch, he felt the pressure of her body against him. He kept his eyes closed, relaxed. She was just lonely, he'd just let her rest. She needed human contact, well, people needed, and she was so lonely and he was the only person there. Grumpy made sure to cuddle her all the time, giving her small licks from time to time, pressing its cold nose against her skin.
Watching movies, digesting food and feeling Ruth napping practically on his lap, that was something he didn't know he needed. It was hard to not feel protective, the urge to pet her hair was big, but he resisted it. Approaching too much and getting intimate would be a problem, wouldn't it? He just rested his arm on her protectively.
"What? Run away?" His lips moved into a sad smile. "We shouldn't. It would make the team lose trust in all this, it would make them want to bring us back." He sighed, and damn he understood so well, he also wanted to run away from all that. "Why me of all people though? What about your friends? Don't you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Or your family?" He couldn't understand she actually liked him, he believed that was happening because he was the only person around. "Considering Grumpy is a dog, technically, you are alone with me." Grumpy groaned, pressed its face against Ruth's back. "Why it's nice being with me? All I've done so far was order you around, eat your food, sleep on your bed, invade your space. I know I ain't awful but...you sure you're just not...too lonely?"
Ruth reached her hand back, scratching at Grumpy's fur. He was so calming to be around. She thought he really did make a good therapy dog. John's words hit her sort of hard. Maybe she was just lonely... but even so, she didn't ever want him to leave. Despite all the reasons why she shouldn't like him or why it didn't make sense, Ruth did. She felt bad, not knowing what she truly felt or why. All she knew was that right now, John meant more to her than most of the people she knew.
She gave a guilty sigh, but didn't move from her spot on his lap. "Maybe I am just lonely," she said quietly, her eyes staring at the television. "I don't know why it's nice... But it is. I don't mind the ordering. I like sharing my space, my things, my food. And you're the first person in a while who has made me feel like sharing was more than just a chore." She turned, staring up at him. Her eyes were sad. "Most of my friends are much older... They have lives, families and kids and grandkids, they are already fulfilled. I've got a few friends my age, but they're all gone off, pursuing dreams that don't involve me. No one's been interested in dating me in... well... ever. And my parents–" She paused with a sigh. "They love me, I know that. But being around them makes me feel even more lonely, like I'm destined to forever be a bridge between two things that should never touch."
Ruth found herself mindlessly petting Grumpy to keep her hands occupied. He was soft and sweet, much like she thought John was. "You're here to do your job. I know that. I guess, for the first time in a while, it finally feels like someone cares of their own accord, not just because they think they owe me something."
She turned her head back away, feeling as if she might cry if she kept looking at John. "I know it's a silly thing to think. And it's terrible of me to see you that way. It's unfair. I know I'm lonely... Maybe it's just because you are here... But you're my friend, or, at least, I hope you are. Is it wrong to like someone even if the circumstances force you together?" Ruth owed John her life multiple times over now. She knew the situation of their meeting was unorthodox, but she still cared about him.
"Would you still ask that if we had met a different way? A better one? Or... a less forced one?"
