clown business

It was ultimately her own stupid decision, but he supposed he was not entirely unmoved, and thus decided to offer one final piece of generosity. Seonmin’s gaze lifted, studying Minjee’s stance and her expression. “She won’t kill you.” He mouthed the words for Hana’s eyes. From the way Minjee spoke to her position, the situation was dangerous but not necessarily fatal for the sketchbook artist. “You need to apologize.” And cower. Give the commander her satisfaction in exchange for temporary safety. Prove you are a fixable tool. “Do it now.” He lowered his head again after, having done what he felt like what more than enough for her. It would be a shame should she continue to escalate and actually provoke Minjee into killing her, then his efforts earlier would have been for naught. 

@msqhana​ & @xmnjee​

a gun. hana blinked, as though trying to register what the implications of such a tool being pointed right at her meant, even as her eyes flickered hesitantly towards seonmin, brows furrowing deeply as though in thought at his mouthed words. 

she won’t kill you?  hana squinted slightly, staring at seonmin almost incredulously, as though unable to comprehend the foolishness of what he was saying. 

was he really being serious about that? when she was pointing a gun at her? hana crossed her arms slowly, choosing to take her time to search seonmin’s cowering stance for any semblance of bluffing from him, annoyance and anger mixing into that of chagrin towards seonmin--the adoration that had once overtaken her for him now simmering into a contemplative but muted fury.

this wasn’t the seonmin that she knew--a part of her argued insistently against that idea, raging as though it was just point blank ridiculous that she was even considering it as an idea or a thought. because how could seonmin be anything but seonmin? 

but still, the thought niggled, in the back of her otherwise unusually awakened mind. 

hana stared down the barrel of the gun grudgingly, lips tightly pursed for a moment, before she grudgingly lowered her eyes, sinking to her knees. 

she would remember this--she stewed quietly to herself, already taking her eyes off seonmin in her own personal anger. 

she wouldn’t have been doing this if it wasn’t for seonmin either. she huffed slightly under her breath, fighting back the urge to cross her arms or spit in the older woman’s face in a moment of false bravado. 

seonmin pleaded with her, even if it was just for a moment, and even if it didn’t seem like he was pleading. he had asked something of her, and the last thing hana would ever do was to cause some irreversible damage to a request from the person closest to her heart. 

“i’m sorry.” she mumbled under her breath. 

well, fuck you.

“i was wrong.” 

God, he could use a cigarette. And after nearly finishing, jam the still burning butt into the eye of the bastard who decided to put all these unnecessary details into the report. It was the leading agent, wasn’t it? Asshole just wanted to save his own skin. 

Stealing a glance towards Hana, Seonmin detected a hint of familiarity, which made it difficult for him to sweeten his apology with expressions of regret. How strange, he was fairly certain they’ve never met. Brows furrowing, he decided to shake off his puzzlement and the headache that was beginning to form in his head. “It won’t happen again, Commander Han.” Seonmin redirected his eyes towards the woman’s gloved hands. “I promise.”

even in frequent amounts of her tender stupidity--hana hated this. standing in the office. next to seonmin. in front of the killer lady with the pink hair that wasn’t giving her really good vibes. 

and most of all, the cold sweat that was slowly drenching her from inside out, and making her socks wet and clammy. 

she hated it.

in part, for the unfamiliarity of the voice that seonmin gave off--if his act of saving her in the split second had been somewhat of an reassurance that he was possibly fine as a feather...then this--whatever it was, sought to destroy those notions and thoughts completely.

each look of confused unfamiliarity only sought to twist the dagger in her chest, even though with her own head bowed, the artist had a chagrined and yet stubborn look etched onto her features.

if there was one thing that she wasn’t liking even more about their government mother as so affectionately called by others--it was that she seemed to promote less of the idea of compassion, and more of the : treat everyone as dispensable type of work, which she didn’t appreciate.

and even worse she was scolding seonmin for saving her.

hana’s mood soured at the thought. 

“ so what--he was wrong for not saving a comrade?” anger heated up her ears as she spoke out of turn, disregarding seonmin’s apology as her eyes narrowed and her cheeks flushed. “ are we supposed to treat each other like some trash on the shore that ought to be sent to their deaths regardless of where and when?” her words turned sharp, fighting to dig beneath minjee’s skin as she stood stubbornly with a huff upon her lips, brows furrowed and anger glinting in her irises. “why the hell is he saying sorry?” 

why was seonmin the one being sorry when she was the one that was supposed to be? 

hana supposed--that was the exact reason that had made her angry. things would have been just fine if minjee had gotten upset with her (which, presumably, she was, and she was--very well, by retorting and talking back like this, inviting an even worse punishment onto herself), instead of seonmin. kind, sweet, cute, adorable seonmin. 

the same seonmin that would piggy back her over puddles of mucky water, wipe the snot from her nose when she cried, stay by her bedside when she had fainted all those years ago during prom, at how blindingly handsome he was in all his glory. 

it was such an injustice, hana thought unhappily to herself, scuffing the bottoms of her shoes almost huffily. 

“if you’re upset with me then say everything just to me.  stop dragging seonmin into fights that aren’t his.” 

Development Boards: Myo Hana’s Sketchbook

Link: https://www.canva.com/design/DAFEJ8krEEY/Kyw159LVDaD2qdzpoHTF3g/view?utm_content=DAFEJ8krEEY&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=sharebutton

Hana’s sketchbook through current years--luckily unfilled and as regular as possible...of course, with every so now and then outlining her infatuation and crush on a...sseonmin? a...sseongmin? or a seonmin? 

“If you are…you have my blessing, but there are things that we must speak about first.” He averted his eyes for a moment, recalling the high school classes they had about the birds and bees, and how Hana had always straight sketched through them without paying any attention. Though Hana was very pretty, she somehow never got into a relationship to his knowledge, which meant she might need the talk. 

If he could do it for his rebellious little brother, then surely he could deliver the same speech for Hana. 

Right. 

everything was just fine.

she was 100% calm. (no, she absolutely wasn’t, not especially when seonmin was seriously asking her about liking this strange janitor that he had conjured up somewhere in his head.)

everything was just...going to shit.

hana pulled a crying face as seonmin patted her down carefully, the seriousness of the question that he had asked failing to genuinely register in her head until she heard it almost a second time, repeated to her by the alarm bells that were growing in her head.

“NO!”  the words exploded from her mouth akin like bullets from a rifle, spluttering as she stared at seonmin with the utmost horror--almost accusing him with a scandalised look upon her face of how could he ever think of her this way? written in distinct and bolded letters upon the horror in her face. “ you think i have the hots for the janitor?” half of her wanted to thrust the fading deflating doll right in seonmin’s face, shake it vigorously and demand how exactly was seongmin....oh.

she paused, realising a little belatedly that she had spelt the name on the shirt wrongly. there was an extra little g mocking her right in the face, and almost instantly, hana flushed morbidly. 

“ i don’t want your blessing!” she flung her arms up desperately, chest heaving and eyes blown completely wide. “ i like...i like someone else!”  even after so many years of harbouring such a crush on seonmin, hana found herself right back at square one--staring at seonmin’s ridiculously handsome face, and finding it completely impossible to say “i like you”  to his face. 

she didn’t understand what exactly it was that was holding her back. after all, she’d carried the torch for this oblivious guy to hell and back for years and years, and still--he thought that she was crushing on a janitor, even though granted, she had spelt his name wrongly.

surely, he had received all those secret love letters she stashed in his lockers before. and surely, she hadn’t spelt his name wrongly then. 

....right?

hell hath no fury.

He couldn’t help but to steal another look at the deflating thing on the ground. Its features were unclear and sort of prune-y, but Seonmin was still pretty sure he knew who it was - housekeeper Kim. While the man was on the elderly side and had a bit of a hip problem, he was kind and worked with the mansion owner for years - very loyal and responsible. He could see why someone would be into the guy. “Housekeeper Kim is a good catch.” He was hoping these words would appease his friend, but if anything she looked even more ticked off.

“I think I’ll just…go now.” Seonmin flashed a quick smile, put the brownie tray down and booked it for the exit.

december 2021--the night of Myo Hana's unfortunately embarrassing demise.

may she never rest in peace.

you see, what happened that very night was simple. hana had gone about as how she regularly did every single day, making plans, being a mild nuisance...asking a couple of people some rather dubious questions and making lira's life a simple but annoying hell (unintentionally, of course). it was a fruitful day, and just like all other fruitful days, she had wanted to end her day on a pleasant note.

with that pleasant note being something about seonmin.

hana sighed almost dreamily, flipping through the sketchbook that she had in front of her. one could almost see how intensely she adored this seonmin--as though the heart shaped hearts doodled randomly on every page with a SM + HN wasn't obvious enough what she was trying to childishly do.

now, she knew that she shouldn't be doing this--even whilst alone on hallowed grounds of the government sector. feeding people ideas on how much she cared about seonmin (as unconsciously obvious as she was) was never good. but still, she supposed a fine sketch and doodle or two wouldn't harm things.

perhaps she would even succeed in finally making a proper human drawing doppelganger through the power of intense love!!!!

hana squealed lightly to herself, hands pressed against the paper as she started to sketch a seonmin leaning against the wall, his eyes and face lightly angled in the blooming sunlight..plum blossoms scattering over his shirt: filled with heartshaped prints of SM + HN, and dyed in a vibrant pink.

god, why was he so dreamy? hana sighed as she finished the sketch, her heart palpitating violently in her chest as she swallowed, propping up the sketch to face as she pulled in close, puckering her lips and looking very much like a pervert trying to kiss the paper sketch, a eager smile upon her face.

wait. perhaps she should try it in a different way. unhappy with the way her lips felt against the paper, hana pursed her lips, clenching her fist in a fist pump as she dove her hand into the paper, squishing shut her eyes in frantic excitement as she yanked the sketch seonmin out in a rather violent tug.

calm down hana. she thought to herself, lips puckered and hands quivering as she felt his hand warm into existence, almost bouncing on her tippy toes as she leant forward...only to crack her eyes open to a creature with a completely smooshed face, the once handsome features of her precious seonmin ruined beyond measure as it formed into a familiar derpy face, wiggling and flapping in the wind as though it had been raised without a backbone.

and worse still--there was weight.

hana blinked, the direness of the situation only registering to her just as sketch seonmin wobbled...then slowly tipped backwards elegantly, pulling her with his weight as she lost her balance upon her tippy toes, and fell--with a resounding crash onto the floor. her lips slid past the ruined cheek, barely able to make herself conscious enough of the horrifying face she was making as she crashed full into the ballooning sketch, and an embarrassingly loud farting sound filled the room as the sketch slowly deflated.

hana groaned to herself, propping herself up upon her elbows as she straddled the deflated dummy of seonmin, hands propped against it’s chest as she arched her back to stretch herself.

...only to hear the sound of seonmin’s voice fill her ears. 

housekeeper kim is a good catch. 

she couldn’t believe her ears. or rather, refused to believe it, head slowly turning towards the door to the sight of seonmin standing with a plate of delicious goods, eyes wide and staring. 

it took around a minute for it to register to her what he was seeing, her eyes drawing a path back towards where she was properly straddled upon the dummy, looking as though they were preparing themselves for some smexy activities. 

hana reddened, then spluttered. 

“KANG SEONMIN, YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!” she screeched as soon as he started running, grunting as she tried to buck herself off the dummy ( the flopping creature now somehow attached at the hip to her belt), stumbling after seonmin as she chased him, hot on his heels. 

“KANG SEONMIN! WAI...WAIIIIIIIII---ARGHHH!” as though realising her desire to catch up with seonmin, the dummy flapped uselessly at her side, it’s untangled and untied shoelaces finally tripping hana as she sped after seonmin, causing the girl to take a gracious leap of faith sideways...and crash, headfirst into seonmin’s midriff.

the impact sends them crashing to the ground, the useless dummy flapping at hana’s side like a third wheel as she clung to seonmin’s pant leg.