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I’m actually glad we didn’t win because our entire national identity would have been plunged into utter chaos.

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The humidity was at 82% when I woke up this morning.

It was 5am.

This week has absolutely wiped me out.

Watching TikTok videos of a group of Scottish football fans in American supermarkets and this is the kind of Brits abroad stereotype we need to be pushing.

#last year I took 19 teenagers to a supermarket in Kenya #they’d been on Safari two days earlier #which one do you think they got more excited about?

So as well as doing long term cover for an absent colleague and my actual job on top of that, I’ve decided go mark exams again this year and I’m regretting every single one of my life choices.

Don’t choose a career in education, kids.

Blondie is coming for that Oscar.

#taylor swift #toy story #toy story 5

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Look, my hometown is on the same latitude as Edmonton and Saskatchewan.

I’m not built for 30+ degree heat in May.

Oh bloody hell.

#eurovision song contest #eurovision #esc #esc 2026

Antigone off of Love Island?

#Eurovision #eurovision song contest #esc #esc 2026

Sweden be like:

#Eurovision #eurovision song contest #esc #esc 2026

Vanessa Shanessa Jenkins representing Lithuania.

#eurovision #eurovision song contest #esc #esc 2026

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“Eurovision: Asia”

So Asiavision then?

#eurovision song contest #Eurovision #esc #esc 2026

This is the most batshit insane thing we’ve submitted in years.

Lowkey love it.

#eurovision #eurovision song contest #esc #esc 2026

I need to know what bra she had on because my bangarangas would have taken my eye out.

#eurovision #eurovision song contest #esc #esc 2026

Germany getting the One for the Dads in early this year.

#Eurovision #eurovision song contest #esc #esc 2026

Knew the host looked familiar.

#eurovision #eurovision song contest #esc #esc 2026

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msmaxximoff

I was messing about with my Year 8 class the other day, and now half the town thinks the reason I quit my job is because I won the lottery.

msmaxximoff

I met one of my former pupils on the train the other week.

She’s in Year 11 now and everyone at my old school *still* thinks I left because I won the lottery.

I think I’m officially an urban legend.

People with a deadly disease isolating on the Wirral.

Government falling apart.

#i think i’ve seen this film before

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