msangelikam 🌸

well, where do i begin? i’m 25 pounds lighter since November 2025. turning 30 in January, i’ve decided to prioritize my health more. my body DOES NOT function how it used to when i was 20. knees and back aching, can’t hang after 9 pm, sleep wrong once and you feel that shit for days. i’ve come to a point where i decided enough is enough. i saw 300 pounds on the scale and thought “hell no”. enough is enough. i scheduled an appointment for the doctor’s (and if you know me, i loathe going to the doctors. i have an irrational fear i’ll be diagnose with a chronic or fatal illness.) anyway, at that point i said something has to give so i started moving my body more and eating cleaner. as a filipino, eating better is hard af but hey, i guess i’m doing something right if i lost weight, right? nonetheless, i’m so proud of myself. i plan to keep doing until i reach my weight goal which is 250 (for now). almost there! i’m at 271 right now. i definitely see the difference, i feel it too. i have more energy than usual— i don’t need naps as much. and i don’t feel sluggish or like shit all time. that’s more than enough motivation to keep fucking going.

but it’s cool here i suppose, i mean being 30. i admire my growth and i’m thankful for the experiences in my 20s that molded me into the phenomenal woman i am today. it’s been a wild ride for sure but i wouldn’t change a thing. i strongly believe i’m exactly where i’m supposed to be. hmm, what are some other changes? oh. i finally got my $5 raise at work :) work’s cool, still stresses me out but i need a vacation asap.

Life update:

For the most part, I’ve been pretty happy :) some days are definitely harder than others but overall, I couldn’t be happier. 

Work is great; been there for 2 months now. I work with some of the best human beings. Monthly, we create goals for ourselves whether it’s personal or for the office’s production and I’m accomplishing both! The two years I spent in dental hygiene school are definitely paying off. Finally being financially stable is such a huge blessing. 

It has been a while since I wrote something on here. A lot has also happened since then. The holidays were great. I spent so much time with family and honestly it was much needed. I wasn’t sad thankfully. I thought I would be since the holidays were our thing.. 

As of today I can honestly say this is the happiest I have ever been. Since my last date in October (which was fucking horrible) I deleted all dating apps on my phone and it was the best decision during this healing journey. I don’t have anyone else to worry about. I don’t anticipate an argument during the day. It’s just peaceful. I’m not gonna lie, I still think about you. Since New Year, I have been applying to new dental offices and had interviews. Last week, I toured a dental office in Chespeake with the district manager and it was kind of nerve-wracking. But it did end up well! She considered hiring me. I got in the car and almost called you. I got so used to you being my biggest supporter throughout my academic and work career, till this day I still have to remind myself you aren’t my “person” anymore. It sucks but it gets easier to just brush shit off. 

Ever since I found out you cheated years ago, I don’t look at you the same anymore. But oddly enough, you have this place in my heart.. I mean, we did spend 4 years together. 

It has now been 3 months.. I’m feeling a lot happier. Some days are harder than others but I am definitely crying a lot less. I’m not sure if I’m just numb to everything but I can definitely say I’m better.