a list of as many of my age-old oj headcanons as i can recall
specifically stuff that has stayed forever with me when interpreting and hcing oj
- oj was married to taco for 2 years prior to ii, then got a divorce. he does not recognize her in s1 because the taco he married had arms and also didnt act like that (like in the way she's faking it)
- oj is gay but he has one exception and thats marshmallow. he's not really aware of this but will suck up to her blatantly to get her approval. i like to call this her mind controlling him
- oj is significantly turned on by lesbians
- sometimes (in some universes), oj is a cocaine addict who keeps his stash in a secret little closet along with weapons (he is American after all) (by that i mean he owns a gun)
- oj is a native French speaker, but he's more fluent in English at this point. he also knows a little bit of Spanish (better at understanding it than speaking it)
- oj is addicted to cigarettes. this is pretty much always true.
- oj was attracted to bomb for a bit
- oj doesn't drink, and thinks its disgusting. on the other hand, paper DOES drink (more than average), and oj openly judges him about it (somewhat out of his own ego, somewhat out of worry).
- oj owns a little wolf plush toy that he keeps hidden in his office
- oj is VERY KEEN on having kids. Definitely more than paper (in some universes paper doesnt want kids at all, sometimes he doesn't mind, but oj ALWAYS wants kids)
- oj is the middle-oldest of 4 siblings (2nd born). he is barely in contact with his mother and father.
- baths make oj's stomach hurt!! because he has to scrub soap into his inner body. he avoids them because of this which can get him a little gross but he refills his orange juice enough for it to not be like Horrible
- oj is somewhat attracted to himself
- oj is suicidal, passively and actively
- ok i know i said oj's one exception is marshmallow but i just remembered he's also attracted to women when he's drunk. But not sober otherwise
- oj really likes antique furniture and buys a ton of it and puts it in random spots around the hotel
- on that same note oj is a terrible spender. he is not very good at handling money but likes to think he is
- oj prefers doing taxes on paper rather than on the computer, and also most work in general
- oj loves grocery store trips
- oj runs warm and because of this he's always got a fan on him or he's turning down the thermostat or something. HATES summer and WILL complain loudly about it
- oj is overweight and a little bit insecure about it
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