zoey

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Seungcheol is not going to last. That’s what he thinks as he fingers Hyeseon against the edge of the tub, watching with amazement as she writhes and shakes in pleasure. She’s desperate and so fucking pliant, taking everything he gives her and begging for more.

Still, he takes his time preparing her, not wanting to hurt her. He uses three fingers to open her up, and she’s so wet it drips down into the bubbling water. He can’t resist the urge to drop open mouthed kisses all over her nape and shoulders, refusing to leave any patch of her skin untouched. Unclaimed. 

She tastes so sweet, and the noises she makes are driving him insane. Not even in his wildest dreams did it feel this good. He drops the hand that was holding her hair and moves it to her chest, alternating between squeezing her breasts and pinching her nipples. He feels her walls tensing up and thinks she’s stretched enough, so he carefully removes his fingers and uses them to slick his cock. Then he guides it towards her entrance, and eases himself inside. They both groan.

“You’re so tight, Jesus." He mutters, and she mewls in response. She seems unable to form words, the only noises leaving her mouth being moans and high-pitched groans. It’s almost uncomfortable, how tight the fit is, so he pulls out slowly and thrusts again, this time going deeper. “Breath, baby. Relax for me.” He tells her, and he feels her take a shaky deep breath. He repeats the action until all of him is inside, his movements gaining speed and force quickly.

The feeling of her warm and wet walls hugging him has him grunting with each thrust. The pleasure builds fast, and soon he starts to feel the familiar coil of tension. Not wanting to come first, he slides one hand to the front and finds her slippery clit. He starts making circular movements, and she cries out.

They don’t last long; Hyeseon comes first, trembling. Her walls squeeze Seungcheol so hard he almost blacks out. His thrusts become short and quick, rhythm uneven. “I’m almost there, hang on.”

“Inside.” She whispers, so breathy he almost misses it. “What, baby?”

She swallows and speaks again, this time louder. “Inside, come inside. Please.”

Shit, he thinks. There are so many reasons why they shouldn’t, so many conversations they still haven't had. But again, Seungcheol is weak when it comes to her. So he does, he finishes right then, filling her up to the brim.

They’re both panting, bodies still connected. He drops his head on her shoulder and she raises one hand to pat his hair. Then they’re moving their heads and kissing softly, fondness obvious in the way their lips glide tenderly against each other.

A minute later reality comes crashing down, and he curses. “Shit, I can’t believe we did it in here.”

She giggles.

•••

Seungcheol helps me get dressed, locating my swimsuit floating somewhere and then getting out of the water first so he could cover me with my robe. I think there’s nothing in the world that could make the smile on my face disappear. I am relaxed yet energized, what we’ve just done forever engraved in my memory.

Once he finishes putting on his own robe, we gather everything and leave the room, stopping outside the door for a minute, not knowing where to go or what to say next. Do they say goodnight then? Do they both leave for their own rooms? Was this just a one time thing for him?

The second the last thought hits me, anxiety and fear consume me. What if he doesn’t want anything more? Does he think that what we did was a mistake? But before my brain can come up with more disastrous scenarios I feel him use a finger to softly put a lock of hair behind my ear.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asks then, just like I'd done outside the bathroom the night before.

I wonder if it’s a good idea to tell him how I really feel, or if it’s too much too soon. Yet the idea of lying to him and possibly causing more misunderstandings terrify me more than opening up my heart. So I go for the truth.

“I’m afraid you think this was a mistake, and that you want it to be just a one time thing.” It comes out fast, all in one breath.

He reassures me right away; his hands come up to hold my face, and he drops the sweetest peck on my lips. It’s innocent, our mouths not opening, but it lasts for a long time. And I swear I feel everything he wants to convey. It’s more than that for me. I want to be with you just as much as you want to be with me.

After we part he looks into my eyes, and there’s so much tenderness in his gaze. “I’ve liked you since the moment I met you a year ago. There hasn’t been a day since then that I haven’t thought of you, or dreamt about you. You’d have to be crazy to think I’d want this to end now.”

My shoulders drop down in relief. “I’ve liked you for a year now too.”

A shy smile appears on his face, his famous downward smile that he makes when he’s happy but tries to hide it. I can’t help it; I cross both arms behind his head and kiss him again, this time more passionate. He hugs my waist with both arms too.

“I think Chaewon is out again tonight, want to sleep in my room?”

He hums, pretending to think about it. I huff and push him away, turning around to walk to the elevator. He laughs and follows me until he comes up to my side, putting his arm over my shoulders. “Of course I want to.”

They walk away like that, paces matched and smiles mirrored.

•••

Seungcheol goes to his room to pick up some clothes and his toothbrush, thankful that it was empty. He doesn’t know where his roommates are, but considering the time they were probably having a late dinner or drinking at the bar.

They shower together in her room, but it’s innocent, caring. They help each other wash, sharing laughter and soft kisses every now and then. Once they’re done, they blow dry each other’s hair, and he thinks about how easily he could get used to this. To the routine and the quiet moments of shared intimacy.

They lay down on her bed together, him on his back and her draped across his chest. He hugs her close, breathing in the smell of her shampoo. But it’s early, not even ten yet, so they get restless soon, and at some point it becomes impossible to ignore their lack of sleepiness.

“I think I’m hungry,” she says. And that’s when it dawned on him that they haven’t had anything to eat after they’ve come from the beach earlier that day.

“I’ll order room service, what do you want?”

That’s how they end up eating pizza and drinking beer on her bed, music playing faintly in the background. They talk about a lot of things, but mainly about their feelings and how different they had perceived a lot of their interactions.

“I can’t believe you didn’t realize I liked you, it was so obvious.” She looks at him with an exasperated yet fond expression on her face.

“It wasn’t obvious to me! You never said anything.”

She scoffs. “Well you didn’t say anything either!” He laughs at her fake annoyance, but when he thinks about it he realizes she’s right, so he apologizes.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I should’ve been more open with my feelings.” The mood turns a bit more serious then, and he continues. “I just was too afraid you’d feel uncomfortable or awkward, so I tried to hide it. But it was so hard, seeing you get so close to Mingyu, watching you two having so many things in common.”

She moves the plate with the pizza to the side, and crawls until she’s sitting right in front of him. “I promise there’s nothing going on between Mingyu and me. I like you.”

Once again he’s left stunned at the way she seems to know exactly what he needs to hear. The security he feels after her confession makes the last bit of uncertainty disappear from his body. “I like you too. I want to be with you, only you.”

It’s a clean start, both of them knowing how they feel and what they want.

They clean up the bed and brush their teeth again. They go to sleep for real this time, bellies full and hearts at ease.

•••

I wake up to faint light coming from the window, blinds not fully closed. I stretch, or at least I try to. When I go to move my arms, I notice I can’t, and that’s when my brain registers the warm body next to me.

Seungcheol is hugging me to his chest, one of his arms across my chest and one leg over both of mine. His other arm is under my head, and I worry for a second that it’s numb. But my concern fades when I turn in bed and meet his sleeping face; eyes closed, thick eyebrows relaxed and mouth slightly opened. He’s snoring, but softly.

The knowledge that I now know how he looks in the morning makes me giddy, reality settling in: this is what I'm going to wake up to from now on.

I begin to trace my finger over his face, gently enough so that he doesn’t wake up. I go over his brows, his nose, his pouty lips. Then I comb some of his hair behind his ear, and when the urge is too strong to fight it, I drop a sweet kiss on his cheek.

That’s what finally wakes him up, sleepy eyes cracking open. He’s confused at first, disoriented. But as soon as he sees my happy face he’s smiling too, arms tightening around me. “Good morning, baby.” He greets me, and his low and raspy voice makes my insides warm. “Hi. How did you sleep?”

“Best sleep I’ve ever got.” He closes his eyes again, and I chuckle. He grins, “And you?”

“Mm, could’ve been better,” I tease him.

One of his thick eyebrows raised, he teases me back. “Really? Well, tell me what can I do to make it better for you, princess.”

“You snored too loud.”

He opens his mouth in disbelief, and immediately untangles one arm so he can tickle me. I squeal, turning and trying to move away from him. We're both laughing, me begging for him to stop and him asking me to apologize.

After a while we stop, both panting in exhaustion. “What time is it?” he asks me.

“No idea, let me check my phone.” I look for it on the bedside table, and when the screen lights up I see it’s early. I think about whether the whole group had made plans for that day, but I can’t remember.

“It’s nine thirty. Do you want to go down to have breakfast? Just us.”

“I’d love to,” he answers immediately, no hesitation in his voice. The look we give each other is fond and sure, and the affection mirrored on our gazes settle the beginning of something very, very beautiful.

•••

A/N: that's it babes!! finallyyyy they confessed 🥰 no more misunderstandings thank godddd. last two chapters next week! I'm deciding whether I'll divide into two short ones or if I'll end it with one more, but I'm leaning more towards one. okay see u bye~🍒

You first met Seungcheol at your ex-boyfriend’s high school reunion. You didn’t want to go, feeling too much like an outsider considering you hadn’t gone to the same school and you barely knew some of them, but Kangmin had insisted. He’d told you that some of them were still his friends, and that everyone could take a plus one, so you got over the awkwardness and went. 

The night began okay, you were introduced to plenty of people who seemed nice enough, and you could see that Kangmin was having a blast reminiscing good old times. You felt a bit left out, missing private jokes about certain teachers and classmates, but still, it was nice. The beer was good, and you enjoyed some good food as well. 

And then he walked in. You think you were the only one who noticed him first, everyone else too immersed in the memories. The second he walked through the door you felt his presence, a strong pull to turn around and look. 

He seemed as if he’d come out of a drama; tall, handsome, well dressed, expensive watch. He moved as if he owned the room, and you couldn’t do anything but watch. But you came out of your daze once you reached his eyes and noticed that he was looking at you, a smirk already forming on his full lips. 

You quickly turned your head back to the table, pretending to be fully absorbed in the conversation the people around you were having. 

The next person to see him was a girl opposite you, who screamed when she saw him. “Seungcheol oppa, you made it!”. Suddenly everyone was standing up, hugging him and patting him on the back, asking him how he was and about his job. Kangmin had mentioned him a couple of times, a friend who apparently was very successful as a music producer, who had founded his own Idol company. He should be an idol himself, you thought. 

When he reached your part of the table you greeted him politely, trying to seem moderately curious, and not like you wanted to know every detail possible about him. Yet he kept looking at your eyes, even when he was saying hello to the rest of the table and was answering multiple questions. 

Once the fuss was over more than two people made space for him to sit down, but he explained that he was feeling a bit dizzy and he’d rather sit close to the window. You were right beside it, so you awkwardly moved closer to Kangmin so he could sit between you and another girl. 

The whole table continued the conversation as if nothing had happened, pouring more beer and telling the same funny stories over and over again. Yet for you every noise disappeared the moment his leg made contact with yours, his warmth sweeping over to you in an instant. That close you could smell his perfume too, a strong and masculine musky scent that made you cross your legs tighter and sit straight. 

You were looking at the time on your phone trying to decide whether it was too early to go home, when he suddenly spoke to you. You whipped your head to look at him. “Sorry?” You mumbled, cheeks turning pink. 

“What do you do?” he asked you again. Eyes laser focused on you. 

You looked at him confusedly, until it dawned on you. “Oh, sorry. I’m a school counselor. I work at Yongsan High School.” You suddenly felt really shy, talking about your normal boring job in front of someone who worked with idols for a living. But he seemed pleased.

“That’s cool, it must be exhausting working with teenagers everyday though. Do you like it?” 

You couldn’t believe he was trying to have a conversation with you, and neither did the table apparently, seeing that everyone had their eyes on you. Even Kangmin. Noticing his presence again, you tried to quickly change the subject, not wanting more attention drawn to the two of you. “Yeah, I love it. I like helping students feel better. But from what I've heard so far tonight I don’t think I would’ve liked being you guys’ counselor.” 

Your comment made some of them laugh, and the focus was again on a story from back in the day. You sighed in relief as the attention shifted from you, and you took the opportunity to drink some cold beer to cool down. But when you grabbed your glass you noticed it was empty. You were about to ask Kangmin to get you more when Seungcheol covered your hand that was in the glass with his, using the other one to pour you beer. The feeling of his warm hand over yours made goosebumps erupt on your skin. 

“You were drinking this one, right? It’s the only one on the table.” His voice was so deep it made your knees weak, so the only thing you could do was nod. 

The rest of the dinner passed with a blur, Seungcheol’s presence making it difficult for you to concentrate on anything else. He was attentive the whole time, pouring beer when you had none left, getting the meat closer to you if he noticed you wanted more, closing the window when he felt you shivering. It was almost too much, yet you thrived on it. Having someone paying so much attention was a breath of fresh air, especially when you compared it to your then boyfriend’s apparent indifference. 

After that night it was impossible to pretend you were happy with your relationship. You were glad Kangmin hadn’t said anything about Seungcheol’s attention to you during the reunion, but in a way you’d hope he had. At least it would’ve shown he cared. 

You lasted one more month before you got tired and left him one Friday evening when he’d told you he’d rather play videogames than go out with you. You didn’t think of yourself as high maintenance, but there was a bare minimum you needed that he was not giving to you, and you didn’t want to settle. 

You didn’t meet Seungcheol until three weeks post-breakup, so almost two months after the reunion. You crossed paths with him at a coffee shop while you were waiting for the rain to die down. You’d forgotten your umbrella and you didn’t have enough money for a cab, so you were slowly drinking a cappuccino as you watched the drops of water slide down the window. 

You were so lost in your head you didn’t hear anyone approaching until he spoke. “You like the rain?” he’d asked. You turned your head around fast, shocked obvious in your expression. He laughed, and then sat in front of you without asking. 

And that was it, really. After that rainy afternoon you two were inseparable. He asked you out that same day after driving you home, and you would’ve been a fool to say no. He took you to dinner at a beautiful restaurant, followed by a walk by the Han river and drinks at his place. He treated you like a princess, opening doors for you, guiding you with his hand on your lower back, giving you his jacket when the wind picked up. By the end of the night you were desperate for more, yet he didn’t make a move on you. He took you back home and kissed your cheek before leaving. 

Your second and third dates were pretty much the same; you had plenty of fun and he was as attentive as always, yet he didn’t go farther than a kiss on the cheek and some hand holding. 

So by the fourth time he asked you out you were feverish with need, so desperate you almost couldn’t concentrate. That’s why when he’d asked you back to his house for drinks, you didn’t hesitate to say yes. And then you didn't even wait for the door to close before grabbing his neck and kissing him. If he was shocked, he didn’t show it. He started kissing you back right away, hands gripping your ass. He kissed you hard, his tongue invading your mouth and his teeth biting your lower lip. You made out for so long you felt your lips go numb, and then he used the hands on your ass to pick you up as if you weighed nothing, taking you straight to his bedroom. 

He took his time undressing you, kissing each patch of skin he revealed. First your shoulders and your chest, then your belly, your hips. your legs. All the way down to your ankles. You felt hot all over, especially when you noticed you were naked and he was fully dressed. The contrast almost made you moan. You stretched your hands towards him, and he understood immediately, going up again until he was fully on top of you, weight carefully balanced so he didn’t crush you. 

You helped him take off his clothes then, the sight of his naked chest and belly almost too much for you. He was huge everywhere, his shoulders nearly double the size of yours, his legs thick and meaty, and his heavy cock fully hard. You were sure you were drooling. 

That night he took his time with you, as it was typical of him. He gave you your first orgasm with his fingers, making sure you were ready for him. But even all the preparation wasn’t enough, and the first stretch of his dick made tears fall from your eyes. He kissed them as they fell, muttering “Good girl, you’re doing so good. You can take me, I know you can.” 

After that you came twice while he was fucking you on every possible position, first on your back, then on all fours and then you on top. He talked you through the whole time, praising you nonstop. You feel so good. You’re the best I’ve ever had. That’s it baby, keep going. You were so out of it all you could do was moan and cry. 

Near the end of it when you were so tired you didn’t think you could take more, he finally groaned “I’m close,” and three thrusts later he was finishing inside of you, his warm seed filling you up to the brim. You fell on top of his chest, still connected, and he hugged you, sliding his hand up and down your back. You were both panting at first, but soon your breathings slowed down, and the constant beating of his heart lulled you to sleep. 

You woke up the next morning wrapped in his arms, your back to his chest. You noticed you were cleaned and had one of his t-shirts on, and the knowledge that he had taken care of you so tenderly made you smile. The whole thing had been more than perfect, and nothing could get you off your high. 

Nearly two years later, that memory still made your insides warm. Seungcheol had asked you to be his girlfriend that very same morning after he’d opened his eyes, and you had been steady since then. He proposed six months after that, and even though it might’ve been too soon for anyone else, for you two it was right. Your wedding had been beautiful, straight out of your dreams, and you had been the happiest bride on the planet. 

Of course every relationship has its issues, and you butted heads with him every now and then, but deep down you both knew no argument was big enough to break you up. You were each other’s forever. 

And now that you thought about it, you should’ve sent a gift to Kangmin. If he hadn’t insisted on you going out that night, you wouldn’t have met the love of your life.

•••

| masterlist |

💦💦

Seungcheol loves spitting in your mouth mid fuck; he’s just weak to the thought of marking you up and having everyone know you’re his

From hickies and jewelry with his name and initials, to making sure you always smell like his perfume by rubbing his head all over your neck and chest, hugging you from behind every given opportunity and making you wear his used hoodies.

And he finishes inside each time, too. Of course. That’s his favorite way of staking his claim on you. His release always accompanied by a growl of “you’re mine”.

So it wasn’t such a shock when one time, while he was pounding into you so hard you were seeing stars, he looked into your eyes and then spat right on your face. The whole thing was so hot that you came the instant the cold fluid made contact with your skin. He followed a minute later.

After that time, spitting became a pretty regular occurrence everytime you fuck. Sometimes it’s on your face, just like the first time, but other times he spits on your back while he has you on all fours, one hand in your clit and the other pulling at your hair.

There are times he spits right where you're connected, even if you’re so wet it drips down onto the sheets. He just likes seeing the view of it mixing up with your juices and his precum.

But your favorite is when he makes you open your mouth to spit inside, and then has you swallow it by closing your jaw with a forceful grip of his fingers. You just love the feeling of his cold saliva running down your throat, a taste that’s so him it drives you crazy.

💦💦

rants (love theeeem)

headcanons

thoughts and opinions

drabbles

now, requests! you can send them and I'll see if I'm up to writing it! rules:

you can request fics, drabbles or headcanons about seungcheol, of no more than 5k words!

they can be fluff, smut, or angst. but for angst, always a happy ending.

I'll write them only if I'm interested in the plot, although I'll try my best to write all of them ❣️

if i really, really like one I might turn it into a full fic, though no promises!

I don't write:

underage or incest.

nonconsensual. I might play with cnc occasionally, but it has to be explicitly stated.

death or terminal illnesses.

hard kinks: gun or knife play, fire, or anything that's violent.

cheating between seungcheol and reader.

everything else is pretty much on the table! (even though I have my preferences hehe). the inbox will always be opened, and I'll try to answer your requests or questions within a week.

age play / regression

“So, what will you give me if I win?”

Anything. Everything. Seungcheol thinks. Do you want the moon? Give me a couple of days and it’s yours.

But he can’t say that. So he goes for the safe answer. “What do you want?”

She tilts her head, a thoughtful expression on her face, and then mischievously says: “Whoever loses has to be the other’s slave for a day.”

The images that pop up in his mind when she says that are so sinful he blushes in shame. He quickly drowns his shot, using the moment to clear his head. She doesn’t mean it that way, you asshole, he thinks to himself.

He turns to look at her, and as it happens every time, the minute his gaze locks on hers all the noises in the background fade and he could swear the two of them are the only ones in the room. No one else matters.

He’s hypnotized by her beautiful rich brown eyes, by the mole on one of her eyelids, by the small mark below her lower lip, only visible when you get close enough. Like he is right now.

He clears his throat and agrees. “Sure, let’s do it”. She claps, happy with the results.

And Seungcheol? He's already putting his plan into action, proposing a game he knows Dino is going to lose. He smirks as he watches the table erupt in cheers and screams.

At that moment he decides he’s going to let his inner cravings run loose. His usual tight control over his desires rapidly falling apart every second he spends next to her.

Seungcheol is a strong man. But not that strong.

•••

I’m grinning like the Cheshire cat. Maybe not on the outside, cause I have some dignity left, but definitely on the inside.

Dino was completely wasted. He had drunk more vodka than anyone on this table combined, and it was obvious who had won the bet. Oh, poor me. I have to be Seungcheol’s slave for a day.

He’s wearing a smug expression on his face, thinking his little plan of getting Dino drunk with a game of hongsam was clever. But I had outsmarted him.

I knew beforehand that Soonyoung was going to go easy on the drinks since he wanted to attend a 1-day dance class in the morning, and I had chosen him specifically because of that. I wanted to lose.

I’ve fantasized about Seungcheol bossing me around for nearly a year, and I wasn’t going to waste the opportunity to experience that. Only, I really hope he doesn’t do something lame like ‘wash my socks’ or ‘bring me a drink’ type of thing.

C’mon cheol, I plead in my head, ask me to get on my knees and beg.

The couple of shots I had taken were making me more and more shameless, and as I watch him argue with Vernon about some F1 race result, I can’t fight the urge to touch him. I stretch my leg under the table and brush the tip of my feet on his calf.

He doesn’t react, probably thinking it was a mistake. So I do it again, this time slower. Going from his ankle to the back of his knee. Again, no reaction. I start to get frustrated when I suddenly feel something small hit my face. A piece of rolled napkin. I frown and look for the culprit, and I find Vernon looking at me weirdly.

‘What?’ I mouth to him. ‘Stop touching my leg’ he mouths back.

Oh fuck, wrong person. I start giggling uncontrollably, and he laughs too. But I stop when I focus my attention back on Seungcheol and I find him looking pissed off. His eyebrows are furrowed and his jaw is clenched. Did something happen while I was distracted by Vernon?

I bump my shoulder to his. “Hey, you okay?”

He nods without looking at me, suddenly very interested in whatever other conversation is happening at the table. What the fuck?

“What pissed you off?” I ask him, straight to the point.

He lifts one of his perfect eyebrows. “Nothing pissed me off.”

“Yes it did. Don’t lie to me.” I’m getting angry now, too. I may find his temper amusing most of the time, but every now and then it tests my patience.

“I’m not lying to you, why would I? Just leave me alone, go back to flirting with Vernon. Pretend I’m not here.” His tone is full of sarcasm and disdain.

This stupid asshole. “Fuck you,” I mumble to him as I get up to go to the bathroom.

Once inside I lean on the countertop. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I’m not going to let his mood ruin my night, but it does make me sad to think about how much different I was hoping things would turn out tonight. I try not to dwell on what happened while I wash my hands with cold water.

When I step outside he’s the first thing I see,  standing in the hall, arms and legs crossed. I can’t help it; all the fight leaves my body and I find myself already forgiving him. It scares me how weak I am when it comes to him.

“Penny for your thoughts?” I ask him when I reach his side.

He’s immediately apologizing “I’m a fucking asshole, I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.” And although I can tell he’s being honest, I still decide to play with him a bit. “No, I didn’t. How are you gonna make it up to me?”

•••

Seungcheol curses his fickle temper. Why does he have to be a jealous asshole? He regretted speaking to her like that the second his words left his mouth, but it had been too late. He’d said them, and then she’d run off to the bathroom. Their friends had been startled, but he had reassured them everything was fine before following her.

He’s now waiting outside in the hall, rehearsing a little speech to try and gain her forgiveness. ‘I’m an asshole, I’m sorry. It’s just that I got so fucking jealous when I saw you having a little moment with Vernon that poison travelled all the way from my heart to my mouth. I can’t help turning into a possessive freak when I see you even breathing near another man'

Yeah, that wasn’t going to work. While he begins to think of an actual appropriate thing to say, he hears a soft voice asking him, “Penny for your thoughts?”

His head whips so fast he almost gets whiplash, but he doesn’t care about anything other than apologizing to her. “I’m a fucking asshole, I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.” He hopes she sees that he’s being earnest, that he means it.

“No, I didn’t. How are you gonna make it up to me?” She’s looking up at him with playful eyes, and Seungcheol's heart melts to the ground. He questions how she can be so kind and forgiving even when he doesn’t deserve it; how she can be so quick to look into his eyes and know how he truly feels.

The words leave his mouth before he can second-guess it. “I’ll do anything you tell me, really. And I promise I’ll never speak to you like that again. I swear.”

She huffs a small laugh and rolls her eyes. “Okay, don’t overdo it, Romeo. Let’s go, I want to keep drinking my martini.” She grabs my arm to get me going, but when she starts to let go, I raise my hand to grab hers. We naturally interlock our fingers and without saying anything we leave for the table. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

•••

After we return from the bathroom, we continue the shenanigans. Some leave to go dancing, some keep drinking like the world is ending, others leave to hook up. I stay next to Seungcheol.

Normally, I would be on the dance floor, moving around without a care in the world. But normally I wouldn’t have my crush sitting so close to me that our thighs touch. Normally I wouldn’t get to steal sips of his beer, or pat his neck with a napkin when he starts sweating.

We keep playing games with the ones that are left, and on one of the rounds of truth or dare I use my alcohol induced privilege to confess that perhaps there might be someone on that table I have a crush on. I don’t look at him when I say it, but I’m pretty sure he knows it’s him.

It’s four a.m when most of us decide to go back to sleep. We are all tipsy and tired, loving the idea of a cold and comfy bed. My (sometimes grumpy) savior offers to accompany me to my bedroom, since my roommate is very busy making out with one of the DJs and it’s safe to assume she won't go back until much later.

I start dozing off on the ride back, my head against his shoulder. I momentarily open my eyes when we arrive, but he shushes me back to sleep before picking me up in his arms. Because I know I’m safe with him, I go back to sleep.

•••

Seungcheol gently lays Hyeseon down on her bed, making sure her head lays comfortably on the pillow, and her body is not in any uncomfortable position that could cause her pain when she wakes up the next morning. He takes off her shoes and her jewelry, but leaves her dress on. It might not be the best thing to sleep on, but he would never dare to cross her boundaries.

He searches on the en-suite for some make-up removing wipes, and when he finds them he grabs two. He doesn’t know if they’re hers, but he thinks her roommate wouldn't mind him using some. He carefully wipes her whole face, making sure there’s close to nothing left, before covering her with the comforter.

He stays next to her for several minutes, admiring how peaceful she looks, the way her chest rises and falls with a rhythm. He can’t help the way his fingers move to put a lock of hair behind her ear, and once there they don’t stop; he keeps gently combing her hair, caressing her head and some parts of her face.

Once he starts feeling like a creep he gets up to leave, but before closing the door he takes one last look at her sleeping form.

He goes to bed that night wishing that he didn’t have to leave her side. That he could brush his teeth and then go back to her side, snuggle next to her, hug her from behind. He falls asleep with those thoughts in his mind, certain that she’ll visit him in his dreams once again.

The next day they meet again during lunchtime, considering how everyone slept way past breakfast hours. She looks unbearably cute as she eats her pasta with eyes barely opened. They don’t exchange many words, but they do sit close together. That’s more than enough, Seungcheol thinks, even though he would like much more.

The day continues with the same sort of hungover energy. They all go to the beach, but most stay on the sand, sunbathing or resting under the shade.

Nothing major happens until Hyeseon wakes up from her afternoon nap, and looks at him as she tells him, “Hey, have you forgotten already?”

He gives her a puzzled look. “About what?”

“Our bet!” She protests. “Oh my god you have. You’ve forgotten already.”

Seungcheol laughs. “Sorry, I’m still half asleep. And no, I haven’t forgotten that I won our bet, thank you very much.” She mumbles a short ‘sure’ before he continues, “I’m just thinking about what to tell you to do.”

In truth, he hadn’t thought much about that after the little fight the night before, but now that he was, nothing was coming to mind. Nothing appropriate, at least. Before he can get too lost in his head, he hears her say, “Well, okay, Mr. Indecisive. Let me know when you make up your mind.” Then she’s closing her eyes again.

He thinks about what to ask her as he continues to watch her nap, occasionally giving her water to sip, or reminding her to apply sunscreen. It’s when he sees Mingyu and Joshua coming out of the sea that he gets an idea.

It’s pretty close to crossing the line, but still innocent enough to pass up as a friendly invite. He debates it for a couple of minutes but then he gathers enough courage, and the next time he gets close to give her water he brings it up.

“I got it.” He tells her, and she perks up. “I saw that there’s a jacuzzi in the hotel, but it’s through reserve only, and the minimum is two people. I want to go, but I didn’t know who to ask.” He stops to take a deep breath before putting it out there. “Would you like to go?”

She gives him a funny look. “I think the whole point of our bet was that I have to do anything you tell me, so I can’t really say no, can I?”

He answers immediately, “Of course you can, even if it’s a bet. If it makes you uncomfortable or something, I can think of something new.” He’s quick to reassure her. But she doesn’t look worried, she looks exasperated.

“Jesus Seungcheol, you really are impossible to tease. Of course I’ll go.”

He’s confused by her tone but happy nonetheless that she’ll go with him.

“Tonight?” She asks him, and he answers with a casual “Sure, let’s go tonight,” hiding the fact that he's about to lose his mind.

•••

I’m tying up the bottom of my very small, very tight white bikini when my brain fully registers what has happened (and what might happen later tonight).

I was pretty surprised when he’d ask me to go to the jacuzzi, considering that I was expecting him to propose something much lamer. I couldn’t believe painfully shy Seungcheol had asked me to do something so intimate, but even if it had shocked me to my core, I was still very much delighted.

I leave my bedroom at exactly eight, too excited to play hard to get. I see him waiting for me near the elevator, tapping his foot repeatedly on the floor and biting his nails. We ride together to the second floor, where the jacuzzi is, and he opens the door with a special key.

Once inside I take the initiative, losing my shirt and skirt, and walking to the small steps. I turn to look at him and I find his eyes locked on my body. He’s frozen, arms halfway rising up his polo. I smile. Mission accomplished.

When he realizes I’m looking at him, he quickly drops his eyes and finishes taking off his t-shirt, but I notice the red on his ears.

At first it’s awkward, of course it is. It’s Seungcheol we’re talking about. He stands on the other side of the hot tub, avoids my eyes at all costs and asks nonsensical questions. But I know him, and I know how to get him to loosen up. I bring up funny things that happened so far on the trip, I make fun of Dino’s bad luck with women, I ask about his mom and his job.

Eventually, a natural more intimate atmosphere is created, and we find ourselves closer than before, speaking more softly. Our topics of conversation get more personal, too, and I can tell he has something dancing around in his head. I wait for him to ask me, sure that at some point he will.

That moment comes after almost an hour there. He gets quiet for a bit before clearing his throat and anxiously asking me, “The one you like is Mingyu, right?”

The question completely throws me off. “What?” I shriek, my voice giving away how confused I am. I turn to look at him, and even in my bewilderment I get distracted by the way the soft light reflects on his glistering chest.

“What you said last night, when we were playing truth or dare,” he’s not looking at me, softly playing with the bubbles on the surface of the water. “You said there was someone there you liked. Is it him?”.

I shake my head. “What makes you think that?” He’s still avoiding my eyes, lips forming the biggest pout ever. “Just cause, you sort of follow him around. Not in a bad way, of course. But I mean, you two are together most of the time.”

My face is scrunched in total confusion. How could he possibly think that? As if I hadn't been following him everywhere since arriving here. I raise an eyebrow at him. “Mingyu and I are together a lot because we like the same things and because we have the same level of energy, I don’t like him and I certainly do not follow him around.” He gives me a puzzled look, his face resembling that of a confused puppy. Cute. So fucking cute.

I realize then that unless I really put it out there, nothing would ever happen between Seungcheol and I. So I gather courage and mumble, “I was following someone around though, just not him.” I look up at him, screaming ‘it’s you dummy!’ with my eyes, but he is too busy trying to decipher who I am talking about. “Vernon?” he asks suddenly, and the only thing I can do is burst out laughing. “Vernon? Really? We literally have the most sibling energy ever”.

“I don’t know!” he replies, but now there’s a small smile on his face. "You get along well with him, and you had that little moment last night, too.”

I roll my eyes. Okay, it was now or never then. “We didn’t have a small moment yesterday. I touched his leg by mistake, that’s all.” I might be looking too deep into it, but it almost seems like he’s breathing easier now, misunderstanding resolved.

I don’t stop there though. “And, I'm not in a hot tub with him, am I?” I breathe out, voice shaking with anticipation.

Throughout the conversation we’ve gotten closer, so much that if I raise my hand I can touch his arm. So I do. I slowly raise my wet hand and trace it from his wrist to his bicep. Seungcheol freezes, his body rigid except for the rapid and uneven rise and fall of his chest. His eyes are focused solely on the wet path my finger leaves on his arm.

Once I reach his bicep I trace a clumsy heart and then let my hand drop, following the same trail until it’s on the water again. He finally raises his gaze, and we stare into each other’s eyes for what feels like an eternity, breaths matching. I move forward, and when my chest makes contact with his I whimper, soft and high-pitched. He answers with a groan, and in a flash his hands are in my face and his lips are on mine.

It’s almost too much. The taste of his tongue, the feeling of his rough lips, the smell of his skin. The kiss is passionate and heated, even better than everything I’ve ever dreamed so far. I can’t help the way my hands slide all over his body, from his arms, to his back and chest. They come back up to tug at the hair on the back of his head, and then drop again to brush against his belly. Anywhere, everywhere.

He’s just as desperate as me, squeezing my waist, my neck, hugging me so tight I begin to fear he’ll crush me. But I love it. I love it so much.

Meanwhile our tongues glide over each other, lips rapidly glistering with our spit. It is singlehandedly the hottest thing I have ever experienced in my life, and I start getting wet and desperate fast. I move my hand down, until it reaches his shorts, and I touch him there. He's so hard. I squeeze him, and he moans, momentarily stopping our kiss to whisper a throaty “fuck” that has my belly tightening. I move my hand up and down a couple of times, until he stops me. He pushes me until my back makes contact with the side of the tub, and then we’re making out again.

This time he doesn’t hesitate to move his hand to my chest, squeezing my breasts over the bikini. But soon enough he gets tired of the layer of clothing and rips it off, mouth quickly latching on one nipple while his fingers pinch the other one. I cry out, head dropping against the tub’s edge. It feels so good. I grab onto his hair, looking for something to ground me, when I feel his free hand travelling down under the water to reach between my legs. He takes the bottoms off right away, his fingers finding my clit. He rubs circles on it as I begin to sob, begging for release.

I’m a moaning mess, so far in my headspace I couldn’t tell left from right. When I get so close to coming that I can taste it, he suddenly pulls away. I immediately protest, desperately trying to get his hands on me again, but I stop once I take a look at him. His face is scrunched as in pain, and he’s grabbing the sides of the tub with enough force to turn his knuckles white. I ask him what’s wrong, voice breathy and barely audible.

“I’m not dreaming, am I?” he whispers, swallowing hard.

Oh my sweet, sweet Seungcheol. I grab his right hand, pulling it away from the edge, and I slowly bring it to my neck. He's confused at first, but after a second he realizes what I want and squeezes. Hard but not too much. Just right.

I grab the other one and I take it back under the water. His pupils dilate once his fingers find my core again. “It’s real,” I breathe out. “Look how wet I am for you.”

His nostrils flare, his desire barely contained. “For me?” he growls.

I mewl. "Yes, only you Cheollie.”

He grunts and in a second he’s turning me around, grabbing the back of my neck and carefully pushing until half of my body is out of the water. He doesn’t stop there; he moves my body however he wants, raising my leg so my knee touches the edge.

I can feel him taking off his swimsuit, and I begin to drool in anticipation. His fingers find my center next, and he pushes two of them inside. “You’re so obedient, huh? Just letting me do whatever I want with you.” I moan, loud and unrestrained.

With his free hand he gathers my hair in a loose ponytail which he uses to tug my head back until I’m arched, neck stretched so far that my head makes contact with his shoulder. “Please, I need you. Now.” I beg him, my voice coming out broken and hoarse.

•••

A/N: soool what did you think? finally our sweet seungcheol is letting go of his restraint. I'm very excited to write what comes next!!! and I have something to tell you... It's probably going to end up being 5 or 6 chapters instead of 4 🙈 hehe okay bye!!

fics:

it's you. of course it's you

half a person

one shots:

nothing better than being with you

nothing better than being with you pt2.

headcanons / drabbles:

seungcheol as a spitter

you’re woken up by soft kisses on your nape and wandering hands. you hum and stretch before turning around in the bed, the sight of your husband’s sleepy eyes and puffy face melting your heart.

nearly ten years of it and yet you think you'll never get tired of seeing it.

you give him a tired smile and he responds with a kiss and a raspy “good morning baby,” that warms your belly and makes goosebumps break on your skin. he knows how much you like his morning voice, so when he notices the effect it still has on you he can’t help the smug expression that takes over his face.

you huff a laugh before gently pushing his face away. “you’re so annoying,” you try to pretend to be offended, but the joy in your eyes is too evident to deny.

he clicks his tongue in fake disapproval and sits up, using his elbow to tower over you. “tsk, tsk. is that how you greet your dear husband in the morning, mhm?” his left hand moves from your ribs to your hip, and then lower, all the way to your knee, deftly fingers softly brushing naked skin.

last night seungcheol had come home early for once, so he suggested going out for dinner, making the most out of his free time. you’d agreed, of course, and both of you had a lovely time in one of your favorite restaurants. you arrived back home close to midnight and spent two wonderful hours rolling around in bed and making love over and over again.

but it seems like your body hasn’t had enough, because the mere touch of his hand had made your core pulse with desire.

he knows right away what you want, and carefully drops down on top of you, his mouth latching onto yours in a slow but passionate kiss. you leisurely make out for a while before he leaves your lips in favor of kissing your neck and chest, stopping momentaneously to pay extra attention to your breasts, and then continue down, down, all the way to your center.

he takes his sweet time making you come, and once he’s done he comes back up to drop a last kiss on your lips before rolling around to get up. you stop him, “where are you going? let me do something for you too.”

he shakes his head, “don’t worry about it. I want to put some food in you first. then we can continue,” he sits for a second next to you, grabs your hand and lifts it up to his face to kiss it. “it’s saturday today, we have all day to ourselves. no need to rush.”

while he makes breakfast in the kitchen you take a shower, smiling to yourself as you think about the many things you and your husband can finally do together this weekend, the first one he’d had free in a while. you want to have a movie night, visit his parents, go for a walk in the park, go bowling. you know that realistically you won’t be able to do it all, but just knowing you’ll spend it together is enough to put you in a very good mood.

once you come out of the shower you find the kitchen and dining room empty, and you frown as you call him, “baby? where are you?”

his answer comes from the living room’s balcony, and when you move closer to see what he’s up to you find that he had prepared breakfast on the table outside.

the heartfelt surprise is so precious you almost sob right then and there. he finishes setting up the chairs and gestures for you to go to him. “let’s have breakfast here, yeah? it’s a beautiful morning and I know you love eating outside, especially on days like these.”

he’s right, of course. you hug him then, tight. trying to convey how thankful you are and how lucky you feel to have him as your husband. you think he understands, because he hugs you back before dropping a kiss on your hair. “c’mon baby, sit down. the food will get cold.” on the table there’s coffee and juice, fruits, yogurt, eggs and two avocado toasts. all your favorites.

instead of using the second chair, you drop on his lap as soon as he sits down. even if he wasn’t expecting it, seungcheol is unfazed, expertly maneuvering around you to pour coffee and bring the food closer.

and in between bites of toast and fruit, you talk about this and that; the neighbour that recently moved in, the latest news you’ve seen on tv, a movie you want to watch that comes out next month.

He’s not looking at me. No, scratch that. He’s avoiding me as if I have the plague, making sure we’re always at least ten feet away from each other. We are all downstairs having breakfast and discussing possible plans for the day, but as always my mind is on him.

As I halfheartedly listen to my friends suggestions, I try to remember if I did anything too out of line last night, but nothing comes to mind other than one innocent comment I’ve thrown in his direction. (Though now that I think about it maybe it wasn’t so innocent after all.)

As we were stumbling through the corridor, I saw his reflection on an elevator’s shiny door, and I couldn’t help but coo. His cheeks and ears were pink thanks to the many drinks he’d had, and his hair was falling down his eyes making him look at least ten years younger. And because the alcohol had gotten rid of any ounce of shame I had, I blurted out loud, “Oh my god why do you look so cute?”.

He turned to look at me, a slightly displeasing expression marring his face, but before he could tell me anything, we were interrupted by Vernon’s outrageous laugh.

It turned out that he had taken a picture of a hotel’s deformed statue and wanted to show it to me, and my drunk brain thought that it was the funniest thing in the world. So I laughed too, and I forgot about the slightly awkward moment that had just happened.

But apparently he hasn’t. Or else he wouldn’t be running away from me with such fervor. I am trying not to let it affect me, but it's impossible not to doubt. Was I actually that undesirable? Did he really think it was the worst thing in the world that I had flirted with him?

As I try to find anything to distract me from my painful reality, I hear Mingyu hoping to convince some of the guys to go to a wakesurfing class that starts in the afternoon, efforts useless as all tell him no. Not even Chaewon, who would crawl to the end of the world for him if he asked her, seems keen on the idea. It appears we’d all drunk a bit too much last night, and no one has the stamina to recover as fast as him.

I'm hungover too, but the idea of a diversion grueling enough to stop my brain from spiraling is too great to pass up. So when he comes to me and says “Pretty please Hyeseon-ah, come on. It’ll be fun I promise.” I shrug and tell him “Y’know what? Sure, let’s go. I’ve always wanted to go wakesurfing.” It’s a lie, but an innocent one. He cheers, and we agree to text each other later to discuss the details.

•••

Seungcheol couldn’t look her in the eyes. Every time she came close, he’d remember the dream he’d had and then he felt like a pervert. He wishes he could say that’d been the first time he’d had such depraved dreams about her, but that would’ve been a lie. It was not the first and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Almost every night he dreams of her. Sometimes the dreams are dirty, like the one he had last night, but most of the time they are innocent.

He dreams about a big house in the suburbs, of kids that look like him but laugh like her, and a garden big enough to hold barbecues every weekend. He dreams about an august wedding, about soft kisses on rainy nights and cuddles under cold silky sheets.

But that exists only in his head. What is actually real is laughter under the sun with Mingyu. Wakesurfing with Mingyu. Mingyu helping her suit up. Mingyu pulling her hair from the suit. Mingyu holding her hand while she gets into the sea.

He watches them from the distance, two small figures sharing a perfectly romantic time together, while he sits sulking in the sand next to the rest of their hungover friends. He partially hears them playing around, not paying enough attention to actually engage in anything they’re doing or in any of the conversations taking place.

Some time later Joshua comes to sit next to him, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Are you going to be able to enjoy anything during this holiday? All I’ve seen you do so far is mope around”.

“Fuck off,” he growls.

His friend and current roommate throws him a dirty look. “Hey, I’m serious. I don’t want to see you looking like a kicked puppy all week. I want you to enjoy this.” He gestures to the beach, and he's right. It’s a beautiful day, the beach is stunning and not too crowded, the sea perfect for swimming or playing around. And yet, his mind is so muddled with dark thoughts he can’t appreciate any of this.

He feels even more like shit after dismissing him so rudely, and apologizes right away. “You’re right. Sorry man, that was rude.”

Joshua smiles, as he always does, and before he leaves to go play volleyball he pats him in the back. “It’s fine, don’t sweat it. But try to clear your head, yeah?”

Seungcheol snorts. He wishes it was that easy.

•••

The wakesurfing class had been awesome, and the energy that I had to muster to stay on the board had been a tremendous help in clearing my head. I can feel my muscles protesting but the exhaustion was exactly what I needed.

As we reach the part of the beach where our group is staying, I quickly note that Seungcheol is not with them. Had he gone to take a nap? I am painfully curious about his whereabouts, but I refrain from asking about him, and instead I head straight to the resort’s public bathroom to take off my wetsuit.

But when I go to unzip it, I find that I can’t, and that it pulls at my ponytail when I try. It must've been entangled with the ends of my hair one of the many times I had plunged into the sea.

I open a small fraction of the door to see if there’s anyone around to help me, and that’s when I see a very familiar head of chestnut hair. Seungcheol is on the opposite side of the open hall, most likely coming out of the men’s bathroom to go back to the beach. As I watch him walk, I get hit with the best idea I’ve had all my life: I can ask him to help me. Before he can get too far away, I call to him, a sort of weird scream-whisper, “Hey, you! Come here!”

He whips his head from side to side, confusedly trying to find the source of the voice, and I giggle before shouting a bit louder. “Behind you Cheol, it’s me.”

When he sees me his eyes get big and round, and after I gesture at him with my hand to come closer, he turns around to approach the open bathroom door.

“I need help.” I tell him, as if it was a secret.

He hesitates for a second, before clearing his throat and muttering “Yeah, of course. With what?”

“My wetsuit.”

He chokes. “Your what!?”

I shush him. “Shhhh, lower your voice. I need you to help me unzip the suit. The zipper got stuck on my hair.” When he doesn’t move, I grab his hand and pull him inside the bathroom with me. “That’s better. Okay, try to save as much hair as possible, okay?” I turn around and wait for the feel of his hands on me, but when nothing happens for several seconds I turn my face to the side and raise my eyebrows at him. “What are you waiting for?”

He’s frozen, a sort of nervous grimace painted on his face. I huff at him. “It’s fine if you don’t want to do it, but can you call someone else from the group? Maybe Mingyu is around here somewhere taking off his.” I am bluffing, of course, trying to hide the fact that my heart is beating wildly at my chest, my breathing quick just from being so close to him.

But my comments seem to finally snap him out of his trance, because the next second I can feel him moving around, his fingers coming to inspect the zipper. I notice straight away that his hands are shaking, and I could get high from the fact that I can make him that nervous. I kid myself into believing that he’s as much affected by me as I am by him.

•••

Seungcheol curses under his breath. Stupid hands. Why couldn’t they stop fucking shaking? He’s closer to her than ever before and he can’t stop shivering like an inexperienced child.

He shakes his head for a second to try and clear his thoughts, and then focuses on the knot he needs to untangle instead of the creamy bit of her neck he can see.

He squints his eyes as he inspects the mess in front of him, and as softly as possible begins to pull out strands of hair, trying to comply with her pleas of saving as much of it as possible. He gets lost in his job but is never fully unaware of the lack of space between their bodies, especially when she moves to change the position of her legs and her back grazes his front, distracting him and forcing him to use even more willpower to continue working.

When the zipper is finally free after a lot of hard work, he sighs a relieved “That’s it”, and steps away from her. He waits for her to do anything, to thank him or cheer, but she stays still. “Are you okay?” he asks worriedly. “I didn’t pull at your hair too hard, did I?”

She clears her throat. “No, don’t worry about it.” Her voice sounds breathy and agitated. “But could you help me a bit more? My arms are way too tired after surfing, I don’t think I can pull the zipper down.”

Shit, Seungcheol thinks, this is way too dangerous. It’s uncharted territory. A line they haven’t crossed yet. He’s second guessing the whole thing, but in the end the gentleman in him wins. He can’t possibly cause her to hurt her arms trying to reach her back, so he grabs the zipper with trembling fingers and pulls it all the way down. He’s left in awe as he watches her lovely back slowly be revealed.

Once he reaches the bottom, he stays there, hand unmoving.

When the need to touch her becomes unbearable, he raises the other hand and gradually moves it until it’s a hair breadth away from the center of her spine. He’s just about to touch her when he feels her tense. It’s the wake up call he needs, and a second later he’s muttering a hurried ‘sorry’ and running out of the bathroom as if it was on fire.

He skips the beach, going straight back to his room. He reaches it in record time and doesn’t waste one second before closing the door harshly and leaning against it, blowing out a big breath. He closes his eyes and pretends not to notice the uncomfortable tightness in his pants.

•••

As I watch him flee the bathroom like his life depends on it I curse at my weak self. If only I had stayed still, maybe he would’ve had the courage to finally cross the line.

But the moment I felt his hand brushing my skin, fire ignited in my belly followed by a dripping sensation on my underwear that made me tense. And that was it. The spell was broken.

After I return the wetsuit I go back to my hotel room and jump straight into the shower. I try to wash away all the frustration from my futile attempts to make something happen between Seungcheol and I, but it’s impossible, and soon I begin to fantasize about a different outcome to our moment in the bathroom.

I close my eyes and imagine that he doesn’t stop after unzipping my suit. He helps take it off, then pushes me against the counter, his body towering over mine. He touches me everywhere, and when my knees go weak he closes his arm around my neck to keep the upper part of my body upright. In my fantasy he’s mean and relentless as he takes what he wants without asking because he can, because he knows I’d let him do anything to me.

I touch myself then, powerless to do anything else.

But having to relieve myself in the shower is not at all how I pictured this holiday going, and so I’m still quite annoyed by the time I finish washing everything off.

Instead of returning to the beach, I choose to stay in the room and begin to get ready to go out, since we had earlier decided to go to a club that night. I send a text to the girls to ask them when they’d be back from the beach as I open my suitcase. Because giving up was not in my plans, I search for the most sinful outfit I can put together.

•••

After taking a cold shower to get rid of his (not so) little problem, Seungcheol takes a short nap. He’s tired from being so tense for the past few days, and it’s starting to take a toll on his body. That, plus the shitty sleep he had gotten the night before, has left him feeling pretty worn out.

He is woken up by Minghao’s hairdryer a couple of hours later, and he now sits on his bed contemplating if he should go out or not. He heard from Joshua that Jihoon and Jeonghan were staying, and the idea of having a relaxing evening with them sounded much more tempting than the loudness of a downtown club.

But then his brain decides to think of Hyeseon alone in such a dangerous environment, and he knows that he's made up his mind already. He's sure that nobody in the group would ever let something bad happen to any of them, but still. He won’t be able to stay calm unless he's there to look after her.

He feels like a fucking caveman, but he promises to himself he’s not going to do it in an overbearing way. He’s gonna let her roam free and do or drink whatever she wants, but he will be there at the end of the night to assist her if needed. He thinks that’s probably okay and convinces himself he’s not being overprotective.

•••

Because it’s a Saturday, the club is absolutely packed. Countless and countless heads bopping to the rhythm of a generic techno song, the heat and the smoke almost unbearable. Because I am on a mission and I have to do anything humanely possible to be closer to Seungcheol, I trail after him at the end of the line.

When we had gathered earlier at the hotel bar to decide which club to go to, I’d sat far away from him, so I had no way of knowing how he was feeling after our little encounter. At least it didn’t look like he was trying to be on the opposite side of the globe from me, so I suppose that was a good sign. The realization that I hadn’t made him so uncomfortable after all made me bolder and more daring, and thanks to that I now have a close view of his massive back.

But trying to navigate a huge, unknown club in a huge, unknown city is a pretty difficult task, more so if you’re wearing a tight dress and a pair of slightly uncomfortable high heels. And even though I manage alright at first, it all goes to shit when a group of rowdy men starts jumping around, pushing me behind. I begin to lose sight of Seungcheol’s head and before I can be completely forgotten in the crowd I use all of my strength to extend my arm, barely reaching Seungcheol’s shirt and tugging at it using the tip of my fingers.

He turns around, his brows furrowed in confusion, but once he sees me his eyes go wide. He doesn't miss a beat before he swiftly grabs at my hand. He uses his other arm to push people aside as he tugs me closer to him. “Sorry I didn’t notice! Are you okay?” he screams over the loud music blasting from the speakers. “Yeah!” I shout back, “but don’t let go please”.

“I won’t,” he reassures me, and turns around to keep following Wonwoo, his hand squeezing mine tight.

We keep walking together all throughout the main dance floor, and I momentarily gain enough courage to grab his bicep with my other hand, leaning more against his body. This close I can feel the heat coming off of him, and I can smell the strong woody scent of his cologne. I squeeze his arm and he squeezes my hand in response, and it’s impossible to hide my giddy smile.

We reach a vacant table in one of the upstairs floors that’s big enough to fit all of us, and naturally me and him end up sitting side by side. Really, how better could this night get? (My brain can think of a few scenarios that would probably make it a hundred times better, but it isn’t time for that).

As the first round of tequila shots make their appearance on our table, I get closer to my savior and ask him, “Who do you think it’s gonna get drunk first? Wanna bet?”

He nods his head and takes a long look across the table, especially at how somehow Dino has one shot in each hand, and moves his head so that he can speak directly to my ear. “I think either the maknae or Eunji. You?”

I smirk and subtly point towards Soonyoung’s elated face and he chuckles. And then I take it one step further and give him what I hope is a seductive look. “So, what will you give me if I win?”

A/N: ooooh what do you guys think he'll give her? 😏😏😏 thank you for reading hope you guys like it!! I honestly have no idea when I'll upload the third chapter bc I have a pretty busy week ahead of me, but I'll try to do it as soon as possible. okay bye!

“Why did we break up?"

I turn around. He's standing there, posture defeated, like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. I look at him, taking him in without restraint for the first time in months.

I shake my head. “Why are you asking me that now?”

He huffs and walks until he’s standing next to me, leaning down against the rail. We both look towards the city, the 11th floor terrace allowing us a breathtaking view of Seoul's night life. It might sound absurd, but the roaring noise of the city relaxes me.

As I stare down at the cars speeding down the roads, I try to focus on that instead of the warm body next to me. A near impossible task I realize, as my brain registers the smell of his perfume after so long. It awakens something, and a second later my skin is covered in goosebumps and my heart is pounding like crazy, as if trying to escape. It must’ve sensed that its other half was standing only two steps away.

After a couple of minutes of silence he finally answers. “I keep replaying our last conversation over and over again.” He licks his lips. “Our last weeks together actually, and I can't think of a single reason to break up. Not one,” He takes a shaky breath through his nose. "At that time it felt like the most logical decision in the world, and now it all seems like bullshit.”

I frown. Thinking about our last moments as a couple is my least favorite thing to do, and I usually avoid reminiscing about the awful things we said and did to each other.

“I think,” I begin, “we got scared.”

“Of what?” He’s looking at me now, his face wearing the same expression it did when we played games together and he’d tried to figure out my strategy, only now it’s me who he’s trying to figure out.

I turn my face back to the city. “Of changing? I mean, not in general, but rather of ourselves changing.” I close my eyes as a soft wind makes the hair on my face sway. “Six perfect years together without a single major argument other than trivial differences that didn’t really matter, and then suddenly we began to fight a lot. About actual serious stuff, too.”

I can tell by the furrow on his brows and the bite of his cheek that he’s thinking about those moments too now. The screaming, the cursing, the disdain. We told each other so many awful things that I didn’t ever think I was capable of saying.

I go on. “I can’t speak for you, but for me, it felt as if we became two different people and neither of us really knew what to do with that.”

“But change is normal, isn’t it?” he tells me, his tone borderline desperate. Desperate for answers, reasons, things I didn’t think our conversation would give him.

“Yeah,” I agree, “it is. That’s what makes everything so much more depressing. If only we hadn’t been afraid of change, if we'd embraced our new selves, maybe we could’ve made it. ” The last word comes out broken, my throat closing with unshed tears.

But I shake my head and lean away from the rail and from him. “I don’t think this is good for us.” I tell him, and the disappointed look on his face almost makes me double down in pain. It seems I haven't yet learned how to handle a sad Seungcheol.

you're finishing the last touches of dinner when you hear the sound of the front door opening and then closing, indication that your husband has finally made it home. you check the kitchen clock; 20:47, the latest he had arrived all week. you sigh, knowing that it must’ve been a pretty challenging day at work.

seungcheol comes into the kitchen then, looking beyond exhausted. he has dark bags below his eyes, and his hair looks a mess, strands all tangled up together and rumpled. and yet, as soon as he sees you, a tiny smile forms on his lips. that has never changed, not since the first moment you had met; seungcheol always smiles when he sees you.

“hi honey,” you softly greet him. he hums, dropping his jacket on a chair and dragging his tired feet to you. the second he reaches you, he pulls you to his chest, squeezing you tight, and lets his head fall into your neck. you hug him back, sliding your hand up and down his back in what you hope is a comforting gesture. “rough day?”

you feel him snort. “rough day, rough week, rough year.” he answers, his tone dripping with barely contained frustration.

you untangle yourself from his embrace, grabbing his face with both hands and standing on your tiptoes to be able to drop a long peck on his lips. and then another one, shorter. “go sit at the table, let’s eat so you can go to bed early, mm?”

he complies, and soon enough you’re both eating a delicious homemade dinner and making quiet conversation. to other people this routine might seem boring or monotonous, but for you, it is the highlight of your day.

nothing better than spending quality time with your husband, turning mundane tasks like eating, washing the dishes or brushing your teeth into special moments laced with precious intimacy. the touch of his hand on your thigh; a peck on your cheek, your neck, your shoulder; a soft squeeze on your waist. the simple act of cuddling on the couch with him makes you more giddy than any possible alternative plan, no matter how exciting it may sound.

after you both finish dinner seungcheol volunteers to clean the dishes, but you refuse, ushering him to the bathroom to take a shower so that he can be in bed as earliest as possible. he complies after some half-hearted grumbling, and before he leaves he leans down to peck your lips, murmuring a soft ‘thank you’.

while he showers you finish tidying up the table and washing the dishes, and soon you're getting ready for bed in your bedroom. it is then that you spot a small bottle of lavender oil hidden between your skincare products, and after some contemplating you get the idea to do something special for your husband, to help him release some of the stress his job had burdened him with.

when seungcheol comes out of the bathroom, cheeks pink and skin glowing, you’re waiting on the bed sitting against the headboard, oil in hand. he frowns when he sees it, head turning to the side like a puppy. “what’s that for?” he asks.

“come sit baby, I’ll give you a massage, let’s get rid off all those knots on your back.” you pat the space next to you, and you can see on his face that he’s more than delighted with that idea. yet, he stops himself before reaching the bed. “are you sure?,” he seems guilty. “you must be tired, you worked all day too. and then you cooked dinner.”

you huff. “don’t be silly. I didn’t work nearly as many hours as you. and I want to do it, I wouldn’t offer otherwise. come.”

he lets his shoulders drop and walks two big steps before faceplanting on the bed, groaning the second his body makes contact with the soft mattress. you wait until he finds a comfortable position, laying face down with both arms crossing under his head, and then you layer your hands in oil and begin to knead and rub at his skin. he whimpers and groans, his body relaxing more and more every second.

you make sure to put pressure on the spots on his back you know are extra knotted, and go softer on the parts where you know he’s more sensitive. you go back and forth, from shoulders to waist and up again, not leaving any spot untouched.

the ritual becomes soothing, not only for your husband but also for you. you love his body, and spending time worshiping it was one of your favorite things to do. you take the moment to stare at him, appreciating his strong shoulders, the mole on the back of his neck, his tattoo, the short hair on his nape.

in your eyes, no man has ever come close to him when it comes to looks. and while some may owe it to the fact that he was your first boyfriend (first everything, really), you think it’s something else. it’s because he’s your person, your soulmate, the only one you were meant to love, and so nobody else could ever compete against him. nobody else was even in the race. it has always been just him.

a soft snore coming from below catches your attention, and you realize he must have dozed off while you were too busy caught up in your thoughts. you keep caressing his back a bit more though, just to lull him into a deeper sleep, and while your hands grow softer, his snores get louder.

when you first started dating cheol back in college, his friends had asked you if it wasn’t difficult sleeping next to him because of his habit of snoring. but it had never bothered you; in fact, you found it rather cute. and now, after years of being together and sharing a bed, your husband's snoring had become your lullaby. anytime you were separated for a night, whether it was because of one of his business trips or your sleepovers at your sister’s house, you had a hard time falling asleep. the silence was unbearable, and it’d make you miss him even more.

Because it’s a Saturday, the club is absolutely packed. Countless and countless heads bopping to the rhythm of a generic techno song, the heat and the smoke almost unbearable. But since I am on a mission and I have to do anything humanely possible to be closer to Seungcheol, I trail after him at the end of the line.

Trying to navigate a huge, unknown club in a huge, unknown city is a pretty difficult task, more so if you’re wearing a tight dress and a pair of slightly uncomfortable high heels. Still, I was managing alright, up until a group of rowdy men started to jump around, pushing me behind. I begin to lose sight of Seungcheol’s head and before I can be completely forgotten by my friends in the maddening crowd, I use all of my strength and extend my arm, managing to grab Seungcheol’s shirt with the tip of my fingers.

He turns around, his brows furrowed in confusion, but his eyes go wide once he sees me panicking, and swiftly grabs my hand. He uses his other arm to push the other people aside as he tugs me closer to him. “Sorry I didn’t notice! Are you okay?” he screams over the loud music blasting from the speakers. “Yeah!” I shout back, “but don’t let go please”.

“I won’t,” he reassures me, and turns around to keep following Wonwoo to our reserved spot, his hand squeezing mine tight.