There were so many things I never understood

I'm so Bad at talking about how i really feel that i destroy anything i Come close to

I wish you would have told me when you were feeling your worst. Then we could have done it better, but all we were doing was living side by side, trying to keep the other happy. We never really tried to Talk, I always saw you were breaking inside and I wish I could have told you I was broken too. The moments we talked, even though I told you so often we were so far from eachother, were the moments I felt closest, I felt real. So much shit happened along the way and now I need to forget that. I need to learn so much, I am unable to Talk openly about my feelings, I know It's mostly my fault I fucked this up. I hope someone understands me some day, because I don't even really understand myself.

What is wrong with me