lost stars.

At least you’re being honest about that, most people wouldn’t bother.

Staten Island is quite a ways from Manhattan, but I suppose considering your offer wouldn’t hurt. The same offer stands for if you’re ever in Manhattan. Central Park is quite beautiful this time of year. 

Well, thank you. I hope some people start to feel okay being honest about that stuff at some point, but I’m a bit of an idealist.

Code of Ethics? I’ve never heard of such a thing. You see, I prefer to write my own.

That just makes me want to try that much harder. We shall see. Do you work on private projects as well or purely public? Have you ever organized a charity dinner before? 

See, I figured you’d say “I live life without ethics”. I don’t think your career comes with many ethical obligations, at least not in the way mine does. If I write my own ethics, I lose my license. Not worth it, in my lowly opinion.

I suppose alcohol wouldn’t really fit the bill would it?

Usually when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I find going for a run helps relieve some of the stress. 

It could, maybe. Drinking can be a pretty big toss up for me, and I don’t want to end up as hysterically emotional Marley. Nobody wants that, actually.

I’m pretty irresistible. We can have a wine night and I’ll set up your account. It will be fun.

I’m making a huge mistake but I suppose I’ll let this happen.

Oh man, you can have as many copies as you want. Just promise you won’t sell my autographs when I get super famous. Kidding, kidding. In all honesty this is all in the beginning stages so I don’t actually know how long it’s going to be before it becomes a reality, but it’s crazy.

Crazy is right. Pretty soon you’ll be doing press stuff, talking to people about it, maybe getting to meet Oprah or something really crazy. I’m a little worried you’re going to forget all about us little people. We’ll have to send you fanmail to get in touch with you.

I’m sorry to hear that, Marley. That’s not fun at all and we should definitely change that. What do you say to a picture of a golden retriever puppy named Darcy? Or, better yet, a cute outing with said puppy? 

I’d say that it’d bring so much sunshine into my life, I might get a sunburn.

How sweet. Spoken like a true humanitarian. But why do I have the feeling that it sounds somewhat rehearsed? 

That’s odd, because I could have sworn you gave me a despised look when I was criticizing the waiter for being utterly incompetent.  

I was tested over the Code of Ethics throughout college, so I take it as a compliment that I know it so well. So, thank you.

Can I be? Pretty please.

Your face is very hard to say no to, even when the thought of tinder is a little terrifying. I just might need a little bit of wine in me before I become 100% on board.

I can’t make any promises. You should let me help you swipe though. I’m sure that if we work together, we could pick out someone awesome for you.

Maybe you should be my love life PR liaison.

So I have something crazy and sort of surreal to share.

I was approached by a publisher a little while ago who planted an idea in my head that I’ve been sitting with and reworking for, like, a long time. For those of you who don’t know, a couple years ago I created this web comic called Captain Mundane that stemmed from a joke idea I had when I was a teenager. It sorta skyrocketed over the years. And now there are publishers who want to make it a hard cover book. Like, an actual book. That I write and illustrate. And that didn’t seem like something that was ever in the cards for me, not only because of dyslexia but because I was so focused on music, but now I’m thinking I could see this being my life’s work. I love art and stupid jokes and maybe this is, like, my calling. 

Anyway, I guess I just wanted everyone to know that this is happening and a lot of my focus is gonna start shifting to art more than music and it’s all super exciting!!!

That is amazing! It’s about time someone recognized the brilliance that we’ve all seen, even though you’ve deserved it for a while. Let me know when I can get a hard copy, and maybe I can get an autograph or two? Or five, but I don’t want to tire out your hands.

If it helps, my vote is orgasm.

I better not hear about a tinder profile made in my name.

I went to the spa for the first time in over a month last weekend and it was bliss. Your job is a million times more stressful and important than mine so I can only imagine how much you both need and deserve a night of pampering. How about I send a car to pick you up and we can take Manhattan by storm tomorrow night?

1. You shush, your job is stressful too, and you’re just as deserving of a spa day.

2. Sending a car makes me feel like the President or an MTV star, which I’m not opposed to, but only if you don’t spend too much on me. I’m definitely in for showing Manhattan who’s boss, though.

I completely disagree. You just need a spa day or an orgasm. You’ll feel a million times better after either one.

I’m sorry that you’re stressed, Marley. Let me take you out to dinner and a spa night? I’m sure we could both use it.

I’ll take you up on that. I’ve been feeling the need to cucumber my eyes every work day at about 3pm. Maybe I’m going through withdrawals.