(((Ɉ-Ꝋ-Ꞩ-Ħ-Ī-Ꞩ-Ⱥ-Ⱦ-Ⱦ-Ꝟ-Ⱥ)))

I think one thing that has led to my absolute comfiness of late is not allowing myself to expect much of anyone anymore because I've really come to accept the fact that most people out there are functionally retarded and if you expect anything of them they will almost always disappoint you so its best to just see most people as potential or actual obstacles at worst and props at best while saving trust or faith for people who have already gone above and beyond to earn it

sat here feeling the comfiest I've felt in years and thinking to myself - "I deserve this"

like bitch you either love me at my worst or you don't love me at all and yes, if they don't love you at your worst while you have nothing to offer then they never will and who the fuck would want to be with someone who doesn't love them for who they are but who pretends to when its easy, convenient and materialistically or socially beneficial FUCK THAT

well, whatever it is, for me its now or never in regards to that because I made a promise to myself a long time ago if I ever do end up in a relationship again it'll be while I'm at rock bottom or "on my arse" why? because thats the only time you'll know that someone is with you for you any other time and circumstantial stuff comes into it like you have a nice home, a good job, money, you're in shape, you're healthy, you look good etc in other words, you add to their social status in what you bring to the table which means the more things you bring into someone's life other than yourself the less you know whether they're with you for you or not because the more they have to gain from being with you the more things there are pulling them towards you other than "yourself" and people will often pretend to "love" you because they think there's something to gain from it been there done that, never doing it again