Mr. Dent

Gonna be short and sweet today, not much happened. I beat this really hard section in Hollow Knight, that’s was kool. The music made me think of all the shit I still need to think about. Trust me, if you know the music, you know. Haha. Anyways, that’s really it. I want to do a long message and a “lesson” at the end, but I’m just tired. Try harder tomorrow! Fuck. I Don’t know guys, I just don’t really want to wait anymore. Like being the one who waits for someone. I just don’t know how to grow all the way yet, which is okay? I guess. Well.

Good Night Guys. Talk to you when I talk to you.

Why do we change when we are around certain people? Let’s say you were with a certain group of people, like your college buddies, Dnd group, at home friends, or even just your family. We change, not a lot, but we do when we are around certain people or friends. Why?

Is it because we want to achieve something different? Is it for proper manners? Is it because we want to? Is it for a girl or guy? Like we want to be a certain version for ourselves in that group. Change our dialect, our clothes, our hair style, the way we move, the way we don’t move.

I have seen my friends do this. Like when it’s just me and whoever, they act different when we are alone than compared to when we are with a group or just someone different. I’m not saying they do a 180. However, they do change.

Just recently my friend and I were playing Fortnite. I know, I have a good time though with the game. However, We added a buddy of ours from another school. All of a sudden my friend started calling the circle in the game to “the zone”. Apparently he called it the Zone because our friend called it that and didn’t want to confused him. Makes sense, I understand, but it through me for a loop and it got me thinking.

Anyways, to my point. I may change a slight bit, but I’m going to work on that. I’m not gonna change for anyone, if it’s a qwerk I have, then that group or person will either live with it or leave. I just want to be who I want to be. No one can change that. I just hope someday I will be with someone who will accept that. (I’m talking about Love lol, and I hope it’s Charlotte.)

Be yourself everyone, don’t let anyone change who you want to be. 😃

Good Night Everyone, talk to you when I talk to you.

P.s. I did call the therapist. I’m scheduled for next Tuesday.

I was playing this game today called Hollow Knight, fantastic game. This is not a sponsor scenario. However, I recommend it.

Anyways, I was playing Hollow Knight and I was getting frustrated with a boss. And as any gamer knows, you kind of talk to yourself when you are stradegisizng. Going through the motions, I was saying I should move this way, or why did I dodge in that moment, or why the fuck does he move exactly where I am going to be! Whatever, at some moment during the 5 stages of Boss Anger Management, I said to myself that I was scared to try certain movements in the boss because I didn’t know if they were going to work or not. Eventually, I beat that boss and moved on.

I realized that I just needed to be confident in myself. That I knew the bosses movements (enough) to overcome the challenge. I have issues with being confident in myself. I do. And it sucks because I feel like I could so much more during the day, but I always get scared. By either trying to talk about my feelings with my loved ones. Applying for that film job. Talking to that certain professor about my grade or question I may have about a HW/Test. Or even just talking to the one I want to be with someday. All those thing and more, I get afraid to do them and I just sit there at the house being bored. Basically.

Don’t be bored Everyone. Everyday, I’m going to try to post here and talk. Hopefully, Everyday I improve myself. Like with tomorrow, I am will call that therapist, and move forward.

Good night Everyone! Talk to you when I talk to you.

1. I love this girl right? Let’s call her Charlotte. Charlotte and I have known each other for a better part of a decade. And let me tell you. She is incredible. Everything you would want in a women. However, we have had issues in our journey together. We used to date and now we are just friends. And it’s great...sorta.

2. I want to be a film maker, so does a lot of people, but I’m afraid. I just am. I’m afraid partially because of my family. Well my mom really, but my family. Like they are supportive, but to a fault. They want me to do certain things and I just can’t. That’s not who I want to be.