Ironblood HQ

Sheffield, guns can't solve every problem. You should look for less violent ways of going about it.

Dido, we're not going to throw you out every time you screw up. Calm down, we love and support you.

Formidable, even with your weight, you look fantastic. Don't freak out if someone tried to compare you to a whale. It just means there's more of you to love.

Your royal majesty, you're human too. It's okay to be open with human emotions and be more honest to those around you. It's okay.

Ajax… please get away from me.

Cleveland, stop obsessing about your lack of femininity, you are a fucking QUEEN in a suit.

Enterprise, rely on the people around you more. You have friends and sisters for a reason.

Arizona, it's okay. You couldn't have known what happened, you need to come to terms with that.

Yorktown, you're not that easy to forget. We all still care about you.

Essex, please stop comparing yourself to enterprise. I think you'll find that you'll rise above even her if you learn to love yourself.

Kaga: That should be my line.

Akagi: No, Kaga, your life is a joke.

 Kaga:

Therapist: Let’s consider the effects our words have and try-

Zuikaku: No, Akagi-senpai’s right. Kaga-senpai’s actually kind of pathetic outside of battle.

Shoukaku: She is.

Shouhou: She really is.

Houshou: It’s sad.

Hiryuu: So sad it crosses the line into funny, then depressing, then funny again.

Souryuu: Three times a day.

Shoukaku: Living with her is being extremely passively emotionally manipulated.

Akagi, putting an arm and three tails around Kaga: She’s my joke, though.

Shoukaku: Our jo-

Akagi: Fuck off and die, turkey.

Shoukaku: You know what? Fair.

Hiryuu: Yeah, was pretty rude of you to horn in on their thing.

Therapist: Excuse me?

Souryuu: Akagi and Kaga have this really weird co-dependent bond based around Kaga wanting to fuck Akagi, Akagi wanting to fuck her own big sister and Kaga being semi responsible for said sister’s death and acting as a sister stand-in for Akagi on her dying request.

Therapist:

Hiryuu: It’s creepy.

Houshou: Really creepy.

Zuikaku: Disturbing, honestly.

Shouhou: It’s pretty fucked up.

Shoukaku: One time she made Kaga wear a bag with a picture of Amagi taped to it.

Shouhou: I still have nightmares of the sounds she made from that night.

Zuikaku: The worst orgasm I’ve ever enjoyed.

Everyone stares at her.

Zuikaku: What? What?! Don’t fucking look at me like that! Those two are hot!

The girls trade glances in a circle, then slowly nod.

Kaga: Goddamn right.

Akagi: Hell yeah.

Therapist: I don’t. I-I- uh. I don’t think I have the qualifications necessary to deal with you people.

Rosehip: Do not worry, Darjeeling-sama! I only drank energy drinks.

Darjeeling: And how many?