˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You wished you had even an ounce of her strength. You two had different disorders, but if you just were strong like her and could feel like you were safe, you wouldn’t have had to throw the mitten in the trash. 

But what else were you supposed to do? If Jongho managed to hide a message for you in there, he could have set a tracker in it as easily. After those warning words on the paper, you felt like your life was threatened even more than before. 

Looking around the cafe, you realized only now that you had never been there. But now that you were inside, you never wanted to get out. 

It was quite small but the decorations and atmosphere made up for it. If you didn’t enjoy the sweet scent of products of diligent baking, appreciation for the visuals was a must. 

The counter was the first thing that caught your attention. Soft hues of blue, pink, red and everything else with even softer creamy toppings on the pastries had an appeal to them that no customer could resist. They were presented in a way that no-one could walk past them without at least looking twice. 

It was almost Valentine’s Day so everything was lovely and pretty almost in a sickening way. Just the right way to help you focus on the atmosphere instead of your difficult feelings. 

It was quiet there, no superfluous music in the background, just people enjoying each other’s company or reading a book alone. This was just what you needed to clear your head. 

Just then, you caught a glimpse of someone familiar, coming to view with a tray in his hands. But you just couldn’t believe your own eyes. This was definitely not what you had expected to see, when you woke up that morning, feeling terminally anxious and hoping for some relief. 

But you did not complain. 

“Yeosang?” 

The said man almost slapped himself accidentally as he covered his face as quick as he could with the tray when he heard you call out his name. 

You took in the sight of Yeosang dressed up; he had baby pink trousers and t-shirt on, his biceps stretching out the sleeves deliciously. A ruffled, white apron on his body made him look even cuter, kind of like a househusband. 

Although you found the tiny angel wings attached to his back adorable, a text on the apron snatched your immediate interest. 

“Hug me!” the text demanded. 

“W-Welcome to this cafe... What would you like to order?” Yeosang squeaked out, still hiding behind the tray to save his dignity. 

“Are the hugs free or should I pay for them?” 

Yeosang peeked behind the tray to meet your eyes, his own filled with curiosity and confusion. Only after you pointed at his apron, he realized you were talking about the text. 

“It’s free... just for you,” Yeosang managed to give you a shy smile. 

“I was just kidding. You don’t have to hug me.” 

You had no idea which fountain of confidence you had drank from to be able to joke with Yeosang like this. But those few times you had talked to him were able to make your anxious heart calm down a little. Well, not completely; now your heart was fluttering with a different kind of anxiety. 

Yeosang looked almost disappointed as you told him he doesn’t have to hug you. 

“But what if I want to?” he asked. 

Speechless for a moment, you looked at Yeosang with lips slightly parted in surprise. He was staring at you, hoping you’d answer positively and wouldn’t shot him down. 

“Then let’s hug,” you said before you could think rationally. 

Yeosang could be hiding a knife in the pocket of his apron which he would stab you with. Maybe the knife would be a butter knife so it’d make your death excruciatingly slow and painful. 

“How... How do I hug you?” 

“Just a normal hug,” the way you answered sounded confused. How else should Yeosang hug you? 

He held onto the tray tightly. His knuckles were turning white unlike his red face. 

“I haven’t hugged anyone in many years. I’m not sure if I remember anymore how to hug.” 

Silently, your heart shattered into smithereens. You had thought you were socially anxious but Yeosang was on the next level. 

“Open your arms,” you guided. 

Yeosang did as told and opened his arms widely. 

You stepped nervously closer and wrapped your arms around his torso. It was unbelievable that you were doing this. 

But as soon as Yeosang let his arms slowly embrace you and sighed in contentment, you knew you had made the correct decision by hugging him. It felt surprisingly right to have his buff arms around you. 

You could feel his body sharing its warmth slowly with yours, and it made you strangely a little comfortable. Yeosang wasn’t the only one who had needed a hug. Now that you thought about it, you didn’t remember when was the last time you had hugged someone. 

But as you tried to break the hug gently, Yeosang held you even tighter. It wasn’t squeezing yet however you couldn’t wiggle out of his grip. 

“Y-Yeosang, you can let go now.” 

“A little moment longer, please.” 

Yeosang pressed his face to your neck, and you could hear him sniffing it. A small hum of satisfaction vibrated through his body. His breath tickled your neck, and you felt goosebumps form on your skin. 

The comfortable hug had turned into a creepy one quickly. You tried to remind yourself that Yeosang hadn’t hugged anyone in a long time, so his desperate attitude was forgivable. 

The way your heart had fluttered in excitement before turned into a gnawing feeling of anxiety as Yeosang didn’t let go. 

“Y/N!” 

Yeosang let go of you quickly as Wooyoung’s loud voice demanded your attention. 

Your savior Wooyoung had arrived with San following closely behind him. 

“Oh, and Yeosang too. Hi,” Wooyoung just nodded at the said man briefly before turning to you. 

“Where’s my hug at?” he pouted playfully. 

You knew Wooyoung was just joking but you had to resist the cringe that was about to creep up on your face. 

“She used all her available hugs for today already,” Yeosang answered. 

San chuckled a little, clearly humored, “I’m sure she can be charitable and give us a few hugs as well.” 

“Uh yeah, I guess,” you shrugged, biting your lip nervously. 

“Here I come!” 

Wooyoung’s warning barely even reached your ears before he was already hugging you tightly. Yeosang had been almost squeezing you but Wooyoung was definitely more than ‘almost’. 

Luckily it was a short hug since you had been nearly suffocating, as it seemed like he was trying to kill by smothering you with love. 

You would have rather been a victim of Wooyoung’s murder though than hug San. Wooyoung and Yeosang weren’t familiar to you either but you hadn’t talked to San more than probably two sentences. 

There was nothing wrong with San. He seemed respectful, and God was he handsome, but you had already felt a little uneasy to be locked into Yeosang and Wooyoung’s embraces. 

“You don’t have to hug me if you feel uncomfortable,” San smiled at you reassuringly. 

Now you would have just felt bad for not hugging him. He didn’t pressure you in any way; not with his body language nor with his words. 

But it was possible he was trying to manipulate you with his kindness. After all, under the resistant shell that tried to keep you safe, you had a tender heart. Some people were able to see through your shell straight into your soft spots and take advantage of them. 

“It’s not like I have something against you, I just don’t know you as well yet.” 

San nodded, the smile on his face understanding. The smile just didn’t quite reach his eyes which looked dejected. 

“Do you want to get to know me then?” 

His face was so hopeful that you didn’t have the heart to reject him. 

“Sure,” you smiled nervously, “You can sit next to me if you’d like to.” 

This time San’s smile made his eyes look like little crescents, “Great! Shall we find a spot to sit at?” 

“I’m joining you two,” Wooyoung informed determinedly, leaving no room for disagreement. 

You honestly felt relieved that Wooyoung was joining. That way San would pay less attention to you and the way you fiddled with the hem of your shirt. 

Yeosang watched as the three of you walked away. Disappointed, he pouted as you left but decided that this wouldn’t be the end of his and your interaction for today. 

“Here you go,” San pulled a chair out for you as you found a table to sit at. 

His respectfulness was attractive, you noticed yourself thinking. But still, it was important to remember he might have had bad intentions. 

You smiled at him gratefully and sat down. San seemed trustworthy enough that you could push the suspicions out of your head for a moment. Hopefully he hadn’t planted a camera on the chair that would record footage of your butt, although you believed there was nothing special to see anyway. 

Then you felt something sticky where you had just sat down. 

You got up quickly from the chair and took a look at it. Chocolate sauce on the chair. Chocolate sauce on your bottom. 

Of course, now it looked like you had had a serious accident. 

“I-I...” you tried to say something. 

“I’m so sorry! I should have checked the chair before offering it to you!” San panicked. 

“Y/N crapped her pants!” Wooyoung burst out laughing as he took a look at your butt. 

San turned to Wooyoung angrily, “Shut up! She did not!” 

“Did little Y/N have to go potty? Did you eat too many beans?” 

Your face was burning up. From humiliation or anger? You did not know. Tears were threatening to well up in your eyes. 

“Wooyoung, stop talking before I cut your tongue off.” 

San’s tone of voice was so dangerous that Wooyoung shut his mouth instantly. That didn’t stop his little giggles though. 

“I’m sorry. Let’s go to the restroom to wash your pants...” San shook his head in shame. 

You felt him take your hand gently into his to lead you to the restroom. Covering your butt with your other hand, you let him take you away from the curious eyes and quiet laughter of people. 

San was mumbling apologies as he led you to a restroom meant for disabled people. 

You wondered why San took you to that specific restroom. It was private. It was a closed space. You would have a hard time escaping him if it came to that. It would be child’s play for San to just stand in front of the door and block you from going out. 

When the two of you were inside the restroom, locked up, you felt your heart racing. 

“We have to wash your pants,” San started sheepishly, “You have to take them off for that.” 

It wasn’t unexpected of you to get shocked, “Could you go out then, please?” 

“Please, let me help you. This is my fault.” 

San’s pleading expression made you want to give in. But regardless of his feelings or sad puppy eyes, it was way too risky to let him be there. 

“No. You can wait outside the door, and I’ll call you in if I need help.” 

The pout on his face didn’t waver your determination, so San just left the restroom, sighing in disappointment at himself. 

You took off your pants and looked at exactly how bad the situation was. It was bad. No wonder Wooyoung had laughed so loud. 

But no matter how much you used the cheap hand soap and cold water on the stain, it didn’t leave. It felt like the stain just spread wider, soon the size of a tennis ball. You groaned in despair. This was really it. You’d either walk out with a “shit stain” on your pants or with no pants at all. 

There was a knock on the door. 

“Y/N? Did you get the stain off?” 

“No,” you answered San, trying not to sound annoyed. 

“Get your pants back on.” 

“Why? They still look like my rectum exploded.” 

You could hear a stifled little laugh San let out behind the door before he responded. 

“You can have my shirt and wrap it around your waist. That way it’ll cover your butt.” 

For a moment, you considered San’s suggestion. It sounded decent but there was one problem. 

“But... you wouldn’t have a shirt on that way.” 

“I have a jacket. Unlock the door, please. I’ll be coming in in a few seconds.” 

Once you had pants on you unlocked the door, and soon enough, San stepped in, carrying his black jacket. Before you could say a word, he unlocked the door and to your shock – and excitement – started taking his shirt off. 

“Ah! What are you doing?!” you covered your eyes. 

San just said gently, “I’m giving you my shirt. I couldn’t undress in the public area of the cafe.” 

“Why didn’t you undress in the men’s restroom and come here after that?” 

A moment of silence. 

“Hm. Good point. Too late though.” 

As San tapped your hands, you took them off your face to accept the shirt. 

The shirt wasn’t the only thing you received though. Your eyes received quite a gift as well: seeing San’s naked upper body. 

It had always been clear that San had a toned body. You had been able to see it through his clothes as well. But now that his bare chest was there in front of your eyes in all its glory, a gasp escaped your mouth before you could stop it. 

“Oh. Nice shirt,” you attempted to focus on the piece of clothing instead of San’s body. 

“If you like it, you can have it for yourself.” 

“What? No, it’s yours,” your brows were furrowed in confusion. 

“I want you to remember me by something.” 

That was weird. San and you barely knew each other but he was already speaking like that. You two shouldn’t have had any emotional connection yet. 

“You make it sound like you’re going to die.” 

San chuckled, “Just accept my shirt. It’d look better on you than on me anyways.” 

It was a nice shirt indeed, but you had complimented it primarily because you wanted to focus on somewhere else than San’s nudity. 

“Well, okay... Thank you,” you murmured shyly as you took the shirt and wrapped it around your waist, finally covering that shameful stain. Wooyoung’s gleeful cackling was still ringing in your ears as a memory of the humiliation. 

“Look at me.” 

At San’s request you turned your gaze at him. You tried your best to pay attention only to his face although your eyes threatened to glide over his chest. 

“Please, tell me you like what you see.” 

You got surprised by how desperate he sounded, the plead coming out almost like a whimper. He left no time for you to even answer; 

“What do I have to do? What do I have to change? I’ll do anything.” 

“You’re already good, San... What are you talking about?” 

San looked into your eyes intensely, despair deep in his dark brown ones. He took a step towards you. 

Your heart nearly jumped up your throat as he got closer. Oh, how stupid you had been to allow San to get inside the same, locked restroom. 

“Why didn’t you hug me then?” 

“I-I just don’t know you that well yet.” 

“But you hugged Yeosang and Wooyoung! You embraced Yeosang like he was your lover,” San started sounding frustrated, and it scared you. 

Then again, a knock on the door. A moment of silence followed it until Wooyoung spoke. 

“I heard my name. Come out, I’m bored.” 

San sighed and glanced at you sadly before stepping out of the restroom. He still didn’t have anything on his upper body. 

As Wooyoung saw San appear before him, his voice suddenly turned tense. You could hear the dark tone buried under a teasing, playful one. 

“Ah~ What were you two doing there? Why is San coming out shirtless?” 

Wooyoung couldn’t fool you or probably anyone. It was so clear that there was something off about him. The way his fists clenched and his lips tightened into a thin line as he stared at you coming out of the restroom. 

“San gave me his shirt to cover my butt.” 

Wooyoung just laughed a little and shook his head, “No. What did you really do?” 

A frown etched on San’s face. 

“That’s the truth. I took my shirt off to give it to Y/N.” 

“You’re both dirty liars. Tell me right now what you did to her.” 

The tension was growing thicker, making you dizzy with anxiety. Wooyoung and San’s somewhat civilized conversation was turning into an argument, but you couldn’t hear their voices anymore. Your mind was somewhere else. 

Only Yeosang’s voice brought you back down to Earth. 

“Guys. I have to ask you to leave. San is shirtless and arguing with Wooyoung,” Yeosang sounded nervous, “The other customers don’t enjoy listening to this.” 

The whole day had been one big embarrassing moment to you. First, you had had to hug Wooyoung and Yeosang. That wasn’t as uncomfortable but when added to the list of looking like you shat yourself, seeing San shirtless, and being told that you were causing a scene, it was too much. 

San and Wooyoung understood immediately that it would be best if you three left. A shameful look was on San’s face as he put his puffy jacket on, ready to go out. 

“Come on, Y/N. Let’s leave this place,” Wooyoung took your hand. 

Just as you were about to start following him, Yeosang stopped him. 

“I said ‘guys’. Does Y/N look like a guy to you?” 

“No, but-”  

“She can stay. You two must leave.” 

Yeosang was the sternest you had ever seen him but you still couldn’t take him seriously in his outfit. If he didn’t have a silly apron and angel wings on, he would have seemed scarier. 

Coming to the cafe hadn’t been as relaxing as you had thought it would be. 

You spent the rest of the day there under Yeosang’s eyes that didn’t seem to ever leave your figure. Finally, after having enough of the staring and feeling uncomfortable in your dirty pants, you decided to leave. 

The atmosphere in the cafe was utterly different than outside. As you walked past the countless stores, restaurants and cafes in their closing hours, you found comfort in the sound of snow crunching under your feet. 

Despite the warm streetlights and even occasionally moon lighting up your way, they couldn’t light up your thoughts. You felt like someone was following you. 

That’s why the crunching of the snow was so important. You could hear every step the person took. No other people were in sight which made your heart clench in fear. You were completely alone with a stranger in that dark night. Maybe it wasn’t even a stranger. Like Jongho had said, there might have been a threatening person in the peer support group. And you had a pretty good idea of who it could be. 

You accelerated your steps, testing how the person following you would react. And to your horror, the steps behind you accelerated as well, keeping up with your pace. 

Every step you took was quicker than the one before that until you were full on running. Your legs felt like they wouldn’t work and lungs like they were burning. You didn’t dare to look behind you. Precious time you needed for your survival would only be lost if you turned around. 

But this could be one of the few chances to see who it was. 

You whipped your head around, fully prepared to see someone chasing after you. Maybe it was Yunho. Would the police even believe you if you told them that one of their fellow officers, possibly even friends, was stalking you? 

But there was absolutely no-one. The night was as silent as could be. No moving cars, no people, no animals. Only snow falling softly on your head and melting the moment it descended. 

You stood there like a fool until you realized that this all could have been a trap. The stalker might have been tricking you into staying in your place for a little while before striking. So, with one last look to the darkness behind you, you headed to the darkness ahead of you. 

The trip was excruciatingly long and anxiety-inducing. When you finally arrived in your small apartment, you locked the door. As usual, you also made sure the chain lock was placed correctly. You had survived. 

Someone had been following you, you were sure of that. It couldn’t have been just your imagination. 

You sat down on the floor against the door. Exhaustion due to the running had made your chest and legs ache but you couldn’t care less. Suffering from pain, if it meant that you survived, was worth it. 

“Unlock the door, please.” 

You flinched as a small voice of a man called out. It sounded sad. 

“Unlock the door. I’m begging.” 

This time, the voice was desperate. There was no way in hell that the man behind your door had come with good intentions. 

 “Y/N. Unlock the fucking door.” 

You scrambled away from the door, getting up on your shaky feet when you heard the demand. Your legs almost gave out, making your attempt of standing firmly and ready look pathetic. 

You couldn’t recognize the voice. Feeling completely lost and unsafe even though you were inside your own home, you desperately tried to come up with any ideas of who the man could be. 

“Open the door, Y/N. Don’t you want to see me? Don’t you trust me?” 

“Let me in or I’ll come uninvited.” 

“Open the door, love. Please.” 

The time was ticking away. It was the moment to make your choice. Would you unlock the door or keep it locked? 

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<- Chapter 2.

Chapter 4. ->

Masterlist

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