certified weirdo

do you ever look at your url and think “i am so glad that i have this url. i deserve this url” 

After many years of selective breeding, they've finally developed a breed of phoenix that, rather than self-immolating itself into ash, instead roasts itself to a perfect internal 165° F while burning off all the feathers, resulting in an instant, ready-to-eat poultry dinner.

I'm gonna be real with you, i don't think weirdo kinksters should be considered acceptable collateral damage when banks/credit card companies enforce adult content bans on sites like patreon and ko-fi

"sure it's just the weirdo fetishists getting hit now but soon they'll try to censor normal queer people!!!" you should care about the fact the 'weirdo fetishists' also lost their livelihoods too

Tumblr already has a personalization algorithm it's called my beloved mutuals who have great taste and only wish to psychologically damage me sometimes

Fake laughed at a customer's joke today and dropped the smile within milliseconds of them turning around. when I tell you that I felt like Patrick fucking Bateman

adult friendships are so dumb like yeah i think i can find a time to hang. how’s february 17th at 4pm

i’m free on thursday if you wanna start a toxic codependent thing