Miss P's kids said this

Millard: So, uh, you guys comin' to my party? Hugh: Who? Millard: You guys. Hugh: It's just me— *notices the mirror beside him and fist bumps it* oh what up, you going?

Emma: You need more potassium, just eat yogurt then! Horace: Yogurt is just fruit sperm. And I'm not gay.

Enoch: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life Hugh: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Enoch: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Jacob: edible

Emma: *Stubs her toe* FUCK! Horace: Mind your language! Emma: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Horace: Emma: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Horace: Guys, what color would you say Enoch's shirt is? Emma: Gray? Hugh: Yeah, gray. Jacob: Like a dark gray, yeah Horace, to Enoch: Now, tell them what color you said. Enoch: ... Dark white.

Emma, about Millard: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the family Hugh: Are we stealing them? Enoch: New or used? Emma: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Jacob: Man, I’m gonna get fat if you keep feeding me all these chips and junk! Enoch: I’M NOT! I was eating them and you took them. Jacob: You said I should try some! Enoch: I said they were good. Jacob: That’s not how I heard it.

Fiona: hiding something in their coat I think we should adopt another kid! Emma: No. Fiona: Why not? Emma: Because when you say “kid”, you mean “cat”, and we already have fifteen of those. Fiona: * unzips coat * Sixteen.

Enoch: Horace likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

Hugh: PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT UPSEXY IS! Jacob: Could you rephrase the question, in like, two words maybe?

Fiona: Hugh and I don’t use pet names. Jacob: I see. Hey, what do bees make? Fiona: Honey? Hugh: Yes, dear? Fiona: Jacob: Don't ever lie to my face again.

Fiona: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine! Hugh: How can you still say that? Fiona: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Horace: Okay, help me please! Enoch: Got two words for you. Horace: I bet they won't be helpful. Enoch: Your problem. Horace: I was right

Horace: So that’s my plan. Enoch: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean. Horace: No, go ahead, I want to hear it. Enoch: It fucking sucks. Horace: That’s not constructive criticism.

Emma: Croissants: dropped Horace: Road: works ahead Jacob: BBQ sauce: on my titties Fiona: Shavacado: fre Hugh: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead Enoch: Enoch, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Jacob: Hey, you wanna know a secret? Bronwyn: No. Jacob: Okay. Bronwyn: Bronwyn: Do you smell smoke? Jacob: The secret is that the house is on fire.