Cowardly Lion

Amber watched as Aryeh slowly went through their process and returned to a more peaceful state. She knew that whatever Aryeh had experienced it wasn’t over but more or less had subsided a bit. That was good. She could work with that. But first, hot chocolate. “Then I would be happy to make it for you. Along with anything else you would like.” It was truly amazing how something so small and insignificant as chocolate could have some a massive impact on a person. Humanity was so fascinating. She would never tire of learning from them.

Gently she took Aryeh’s hand and let them through a back door entrance to the parking garage where she kept her personal car. The perfectly detailed shiny yellow Jaguar might have seemed like too much but the inside was extremely comfortable and they’d only be riding in it for a short time anyway. She’d have them at her place in no time. “I hope you don’t mind the lack of leg room. I wasn’t actually planning on bringing anyone home otherwise I would have brought a different car.”

It was becoming easier and easier to keep what at least appeared to be a peaceful smile on Aryeh’s face. This was made even easier whenever Amber spoke, the goddess’s voice penetrating the haze that still kept Aryeh from truly rejoining the real world. Their world grew more and more real the further they got from the noise - and with the encroaching reality, so too returned the itch of fear and anxiety that so constantly defined most of Aryeh’s waking moments. They attempted to keep the feeling subdued, however; the last thing they wanted to do was make another scene. And besides, Amber was already being such a kind and gentle caretaker, it seemed...rude, somehow, to worry about her motives in that reductive way that their anxiety always seemed to.

“I think j-just...hot chocolate is a good place to start.”

Aryeh barely noticed the car even as they sank into it. It was safe to say they had never been and never would be a car person. Still, the voiced concern about leg room actually coaxed a chuckle out of them. Such a mundane concern for a goddess-

Ah, right. That’s what this was all about, wasn’t it.

(Don’t) Spill || Diana&Aryeh

Diana sipped her drink as Aryeh seemed to search for the right words, patient as always. She had never been the type to mind lulls in a conversation, so she felt no need to say anything to break the silence. It was sort of nice to just sit there quietly but not alone, actually. Silent companionship felt nice– more comfortable and relaxing than speaking, if she were being honest. Not that she minded in the slightest when the other did begin to speak.

“Hm? What do you mean? Not who they said they were in what way?” She asked, looking up at Aryeh, her brow furrowed in concern. That certainly was not what she had expected, and it made a queasy, anxious knot form in her stomach. After all, she had been in a relationship with someone who had not been the person she had thought he was, and that… Well, that had been bad.

She paused, looking away and taking a quick sip of her tea in the hopes it might calm the nervous energy suddenly tingling in her limbs. Surely Aryeh’s situation was not the worst case one that was going through her head. “What happened? Is everything okay?”

The way Diana seemed to almost jump in concern when Aryeh asked their question made Aryeh regret that line of conversation entirely. Clearly Diana had some kind of unfortunate personal history related to people not being who they said they were, and the last thing Aryeh wanted to do was make their friend uncomfortable by talking about it. On the bright side, Diana seemed to be the sort of person who was very good at taking stock of her situation and not reacting hastily, even if she seemed like she wanted to, at least to some extent.

Aryeh, on the other hand, was knocked back to square one in terms of how to discuss their current situation. Conversation had never been their strong suit - Diana and they had spent many an afternoon tea simply reading or working silently in one another’s presence - and they certainly hadn’t gotten any better at it. Sometimes they worried they were actually getting worse at it.

The sudden shift in Aryeh’s disposition threw her for a second before a warm smile graced her features. “If it’s hot chocolate you want you won’t find anyone serving any better than mine. Chocolate is a Mayan invention you know.” It was true. Even the word chocolate is just a Spanish way of saying xocolātl, it’s original Nahuatl name. “If you want we can go to my apartment and I can make you some. I promise there’s no other motive. I only want you to be happy and comfortable.” 

Had it been anyone else being invited to her home Amber would have most definitely been offering to sleep with them but Aryeh was different. Aryeh was special to her in a way that no one had been before and she was not about to disrespect the relationship they had, no matter what kind of relationship that was. She held her steady and made sure there would be no question about her sincerity. “Or we can find a café that serves hot chocolate. As long as you’re comfortable I will go wherever you would like.”

“I think I r-read about that...somewhere...” With their voice as hazy as their mind, Aryeh tried desperately to stay lucid in the moment. A dissociation episode was the last thing they needed after a hallucinatory one. And they had things to do. Things like accompanying Amber to her apartment. For hot chocolate made by their favorite person. Aryeh latched on to that image, sitting with Amber in her apartment with a mug of hot chocolate, comfortable and safe; of course they would be safe, there were few people that Aryeh trusted like they did Amber at this point, even with the whole goddess thing.

It took definite effort, but focusing on their breathing, warm air and cinnamon scents filling their nose and lungs, made staying connected to the physical world that much easier. Hopefully all of it would go away soon. That was the point of escaping this place, wasn’t it?

They took a deep breath, then smiled a smile they could actually start to feel. Good, that meant it was working. “As long as you’re there, I’ll be comfortable.” Timid as they were, Aryeh wasn’t sure how they managed to say all these things as if they were in a romance novel so easily. Maybe they would be embarrassed by it later. Right now they simply went with it. There was no more space for embarrassment now.

❝ All I want for Christmas is you ❞ My muse declares their love for your muse on Christmas night.

“‘...I l-...love you as the snow f-falls, and as it melts, year after year, unt-til time stop-s.’“ Aryeh was burning a furious red by now. Even reading the words off a Christmas card didn’t make saying them any easier. “Th-that- that’s too much. I c-can’t give her that.” Just the thought of Amber reading this and seeing Aryeh’s name signed at the bottom made Aryeh feel nauseous with the embarrassment and anxiety of it all. Way too lovey-dovey. They didn’t even know if Amber felt that way about them. Hell, they didn’t even know for sure exactly how they felt about Amber.

(Don’t) Spill || Diana&Aryeh

“Very true,” Diana agreed, her smile growing. As if to prove Aryeh’s point, she wrapped her fingers around the cup to let them be warmed by it. The room was a bit cold, the university not having turned on the heat for the winter yet, so it did feel good to have something to warm her chilled hands. She made a mental note to bring some sweets from Mukashi-Kara by the next time she visited the bookstore as a thank you for the tea.

“Just being in graduate school. It’s a lot different than undergrad. I like it, though. It’s a nice change of pace, after…” She let the sentence peter out, not too keen on mentioning her still too fresh disaster of a relationship. It was definitely good that she had her academics to distract her from all that lingering unpleasantness. “But you didn’t answer my question. How are you?” That was the downside of putting two introverts together– they both disliked talking about themselves and tried to shift attention to the other.

Much like the warm beverage rushing like a waterfall through their body, the small movements Diana made to further cradle her own warm drink filled Aryeh with a sort of warmth that they rarely had the chance to feel. This is what it must be like, they decided. Friendship. This is why it’s something to cherish.

Aryeh nodded along as Diana spoke, trying to repress the momentary feeling of embarrassment of having dropped out of medical school themselves. It was something they were still learning to be okay with. But that didn’t change the fact that, though Aryeh loved the university, being inside it so frequently tended to be quite an awkward reminder. Even so, they got the feeling that Diana wouldn’t think less of them for the fact. She simply wasn’t that kind of person. Unless Aryeh had terribly misjudged her, which was always possible. Aryeh just had to hope that wasn’t the case.

The fear would remain in the back of their mind, though. A splinter, a sliver of doubt. They didn’t know who they were without it.

“I’m...” It seemed that both demigods had topics they weren’t keep to discuss. After seeking her out, Aryeh decided the least they could do was to attempt to keep Diana entertained, if only a little and for a moment. And they certainly felt like the current state of affairs in their life was entertaining. For other people, at least. Maybe. Hopefully, if only in this case.

Revealing || Amber&Aryeh

Amber knew it was a lot to take in for one night. The blaring music and flashing lights and rowdy club patrons didn’t help much either. Even in her office she could still hear them down there, oblivious to the part they played in Aryeh’s troubles. The younger more petty side of her would have slaughtered them all and made them sacrifices for such a grievance. The men at least. But she had lived long enough in the mortal world among them to calm her ancient bloodlust and focus on what was truly important.

She held Aryeh’s gaze with her own, never wavering once. “Then I will stay by your side. As long as you’ll have me you will never be alone.” Other deities would not understand. She’d seen it before how they judged. It didn’t matter. When you find something worth everything, it’s only natural that you protect that with everything you have. She stood up gently pulling Aryeh up as well. “Come. Let’s get you somewhere calm. Somewhere where we can talk more freely. Is there somewhere specific you’d prefer?”

If this was all just a hallucination, Aryeh wasn’t sure they wanted it to stop. Sure, Amber had turned into a jaguar creature and turned an already weird night that much weirder, but right now Aryeh felt like they were floating through the moment. Time had slowed to a honey-like crawl. With the fierce stab of anxiety more or less gone, Aryeh was left with a kind of dissociative peace that, though making it hard to enjoy the feelings Amber evoked from them, at least allowed them to not feel overly awkward about any of it. That much they were grateful for.

Or they would be, whenever time returned to normal and their mind felt like it was part of their body again.

mparyehx​:

(Don’t) Spill || Diana&Aryeh

On days when the library was busy, Diana was awfully glad the university had extra offices and a lounge in each department for graduate students. It made it much easier to relax and be productive– especially for her, because these days she found herself most comfortable sequestered away in a safe, private place. She was pouring over an anthology of gothic literature when she heard a small voice, making her head snap up. She had not been expecting anyone, but when she realized it was Aryeh a smile spread across her face. They were one visitor she did not mind.

“Oh, hi Aryeh,” she greeted, sliding a bookmark into the anthology to hold her place before closing it so that she could give her friend (? ish?) her full attention. “Ah, thank you! This is just what I need, actually,” she commented, offering the other a warm smile before taking a sip. “I’m alright, thank you. Just, you know, trying to figure out how to navigate this new academic chapter, I guess. How about you?”

“Warm fingers are better for reading,” Aryeh replied with an amicable smile. If anyone knew what things were better or worse for reading - besides Diana, of course - it was Aryeh. Considering the years of reading and writing and the bookstore they had opened that had become something of an icon in the busy little island, there was little Aryeh did not know about books by this point. People, on the other hand, were still something of a mystery. That was why Aryeh liked Diana so much; it was easy to picture Diana as a character in some classic novel. She was easy to please and to understand, at least as far as Aryeh knew, and it made the pair of them fast friends (once they had gotten over their mutual shyness).

Amber could see that Aryeh was clearly struggling with this new revelation and who could blame them? It wasn’t like people found out the others close to them were ancient Mayan jaguar goddesses everyday right? Wow it sounded even more absurd in her hear then she thought it would. Given that fact though Aryeh was actually doing very well compared to others who had seen her real nature. Amber took Aryeh’s hands and held them gently. “You don’t have to apologize to me. And you’re right. It really isn’t fait. That’s why I live like you do. Immortality, it’s not what people think it is. But I’m not what’s important right now.”

She had not spoken this candidly to anyone in centuries, yet hear she was bearing her heart to Aryeh. Somehow it felt completely right but also a little terrifying. Either way Amber decided not to question it. “We all struggle with things, goddesses included. Mine is a story for another time but right now you are my main concern. I don’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t want to, and I don’t want to embarrass you in any way either. But perhaps if you’ll let me, there might be something I can do about what haunts you. Or at least, let me stay by your side? In whatever capacity you’re comfortable with just, please let me be there for you?” Seeing Aryeh so shaken and disturbed hurt Amber deeply and she’d be damned if she let Aryeh go through that alone. She just hoped Aryeh could forgiver her enough to consider it.

The sudden contact brought a burning heat to Aryeh’s face, Amber’s touch like a jolt of lightning at first, then mellowing out to a steady warmth. It took everything Aryeh had to stay focused on Amber’s voice, though they found their mind coming back around to how nice it feels to hold her hands. At this rate, Amber was going to think Aryeh had lost it and give up on them altogether. Though Aryeh had to admit that sticking around through bouts of hallucinations and seemingly constant anxiety and panic attacks was pretty good evidence against that idea.

The more Amber spoke, the more Aryeh wanted to hear them speak. Aryeh wanted to know all the stories that lived beyond those words, what it could possibly be like to live those countless years among civilization after civilization. The thought struck Aryeh that Amber had lived long before they had been born and would live long after they died. It was too tragic an idea not to shove it into a little box far in the darkest corner of their mind.

“Something...you can do?” While modern medicine hadn’t found a way to cure what had taken strict and stolid control over Aryeh’s mind, it struck them that they hadn’t even considered the possibility of supernatural intervention. Once again Aryeh had to utterly ignore words that made them blush so furiously they must look nearly like an open wound. There was simply nothing they knew to say. Of course they would let Amber stay by their side. As long as she wanted.

Aryeh as Sailor Neptune with @mp-amber

@mpxdiana

“Di- Diana?”

While the halls of the university itself were familiar, the English department was not. When Aryeh had still been attending, they had purely stuck to the science wing - and, of course, the library - which meant that the English department was practically uncharted territory. However, Diana was not to be found in the library today. That was only cause for problem because the school itself was quite large and Aryeh was but a single soul within it. A soul without any any kind of special power related to finding people. It made such a large place that much bigger.

Unknowingly, the sky outside the window had shifted to a magnificent mixture of gold and red. The tea had already cold, but tears hadn’t stopped shedding on the face of Aryeh’s mother. No one was at fault here, Mark believed. It was just a funny twist of fate. There must be a way to un-twist it. 

Mark’s eyebrows knitted to each other as he tried to think of what way it could be. Aryeh seemed to not know much more than him about Japanse deities, and the ones who were currently on the island weren’t the best choice anyway. The whole garden sunk into silence, except for the occasional sobs from Aryeh and their mother. 

Then, the ghost suddenly lifted her head up and looked at Mark as if she remembered something important. She couldn’t wait until Mark fully paid attention on her again to say. 

“Aryeh’s father is from the Norse. Maybe ask a Norse god?”

Mark didn’t mean to shout, but that exactly what he did, all done with a big clap in excitement. He only got himself to blame on this forgetfulness, as he completely ignored the fact that despite being Japanese, Aryeh was the descendant of a Norse god. And when he linked the death with the Norse pantheon, a certain god immediately sprung in his mind. He looked at Aryeh, didn’t forget to apologize for his loudness before telling her his solution. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, but Odin! Aryeh-ssan, Odin!” Pausing for a moment to calm himself down, Mark continued to explain to Aryeh what he meant, “I’ve met Odin. He’s here on this island, he’s the king of Norse gods, and he can control the dead. We should definitely ask him for help!” 

Eventually the flood of tears slowed to droplets here and there, then stopped altogther as though all the water had been wrung from Aryeh’s body. Now their eyes simply burned, their nose simply ran. It was a terrible state to be in, and Aryeh turned again to their mother’s invisible presence as they remembered how their mother would bring them a deep glass of water every time they had a cry. They could certainly have used one now. 

The sudden noise startled Aryeh so badly they nearly lost their balance on the tea house seat cushion. When steady again, they looked back over to Mark, unable to even muster the motivation to feel embarrassed of their unseemly state and the general unpleasantness that must be their face right now. It was likely puffy and blotchy with red patches. Aryeh forgot all about it as Mark just about gushed his epiphany into the space between the two demigods.

“Odin...?” The name sounded familiar at best, which didn’t surprise Aryeh as Mark went into a little more detail about the god. Gods lived on a different floor, and Aryeh knew about as much about their own pantheon’s mythologies as they did about, say, the Celtic one. Pop culture had educated them on Thor and Loki, but Aryeh had never been that interested in the Avengers and so the education was more of a cultural osmosis. But Mark seemed to know.

“C-control the dead? So- s-so is he kind of like the g-god of the underworld? For the- for the Norse I mean.”

Revealing || Amber&Aryeh

Aryeh’s first instinct was to back away from the approaching…goddess? Is that what Amber was? But their nerves went haywire, their muscles traitorous, their body unwilling to respond to their command center. It was like being a prisoner in their own body. Then Amber’s touch broke through it, like a heat melting the ice that had frozen the gears of Aryeh’s body in place, and even though Aryeh still got flashes of that other form - flashes like visible echoes that existed only in their own mind - they still responded almost automatically to the certainty of Amber’s voice.

Rather than looking into Amber’s face, Aryeh shut their eyes. Their eyes were as traitorous as the rest of their body had been, and if they couldn’t see then they couldn’t see anything that wasn’t real either. As if in direct response to this, Aryeh felt themselves being lifted by strong, almost-familiar arms and moved away from the room. The singular hot-cinnamon smell of Amber assured them that it was no stranger doing this, and they realized with a flush they could feel burning their cheeks that this was the closest that the two of them had ever been. 

They remained silent as they felt the softness of sofa beneath them, finally opening their eyes to the familiar sight of Amber’s office. Aryeh followed the directions, breathing slowly and focusing on the sound of Amber’s voice, the touch of her fingertips and their cool moonlit glow. It was several moments of this before Aryeh finally looked to Amber once again, voice barely steady.

“What…was that?”

Despite having done this for countless people many times over, this time the waiting actually seared her to the bone as Amber used her power to bring Aryeh back to her. As Aryeh slowly returned to her self Amber felt the tension in her own shoulders melt away as a direct response.  The question had her flinch a bit. This was not the way she had preferred Aryeh find out about her divinity. She took a moment to collect her thoughts and explained. “Well, this wasn’t really how I planned this but you were bound to find out soon enough anyway. The truth is Aryeh, I’m a goddess. I’ve always been a goddess. I just prefer to live among and as humans do.”

Once Aryeh was stable again Amber removed her hands and took a polite step away in case Aryeh was upset with her. The last thing she wanted was to crowd her after all she’d been through and the revelation of Amber’s true identity. “My human name is Amber de la Vega. But my real name is Ixchel. I’m uh, the Mayan goddess of the moon. And healing…and fertility…and, also I’m a jaguar goddess…” Well shit this was a lot more awkward than she thought it would be. She’d never had this sort of reaction to revealing her true self before. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Like I said I like living like a human. People treat me very differently when they find out I’m a goddess you know.” She couldn’t help but fear Aryeh’s reaction. Of course Aryeh had every right to be pissed but Amber hoped she wouldn’t be.

A goddess. Yeah, that about made sense. In some ways, Aryeh was surprised they hadn’t seen it before. Amber had always had an unearthly, unreal quality about her, but Aryeh had always just figured it was her attractiveness. The realization of the thought had the demigod blushing even with her mind only half-focused on it. It simply wasn’t fair that someone as amazing as Amber was also a goddess. What did that leave for normal people like Aryeh? Or at least, as normal as the child of a god could ever be.

That line of thinking brought a worry of its own into the space between them. Would it be strange between them as a demigod and a goddess? Did it matter? Did it matter to Amber, or whoever this person apparently was? No, she was still Amber, of that Aryeh could be completely sure. It was always Amber who had been there for her like this before, and it was Amber that was here with her now. It just so happened that Amber also went by a different name when it suited her.

“Ixchel...” Aryeh softly ecchoed, liking the sound and feel of the name. Listening came easily, as it always had to Aryeh. The response would be harder when it finally came time for it. Speaking their mind had never exactly been Aryeh’s strong suit.

mpmarklee​:

Who’s that? | AryehMark

During years of encountering ghosts and the like, Mark had witnessed quite a lot of cases like these. When a spirit, for whatever reason, refused to move on to the other side when it was the right time, they would get stuck in the living world, and became the target of different spiritual forces, both good and bad. If spirits followed the good side, they would become a saint of some kind; but if they got lured by the evil, they would eventually become one themselves. 

The ghost of Aryeh’s mother was lucky enough to still be safe from those dangers, but for how long, no one could really answer. “I guess the energy of this garden is what helps to empower your mother’s spirit. She’s still safe here.” Mark told both Aryeh and their mother, then quietly handed the Japanese demigoddess another tissue to wipe her tears. 

“I can’t tell how we should help your mother move on though, because things could be different in each pantheon,” the Celtic demigod kept it honest, since he wasn’t familiar with Japanese culture at all. “Maybe we can ask the Death god of your pantheon for help? Do you know if they’re on the island?”  

The energy of the garden?

Aryeh supposed that would make sense. Even if they were never much for long treks in the outside world, their mother would frequently try to coax them out to quiet gardens, art museums, and empty mountain scenery devoid of people. It had always made Aryeh feel better to be more or less alone with the sounds of nature, no intentioned thoughts to muddy the space around their head. Their mother’s thoughts, and even her speech, had never been enough to disrupt them. Just the two of them surrounded by beauty and peace.

Only now Aryeh’s mother was doomed to that very same space of beauty and peace unless they could figure out some way to help her.

“The d-death god...”

Initially, Aryeh’s mind drifted to thoughts of Japanese gods, trying to remember which god did what. Besides Amaterasu and Inari, Aryeh hadn’t kept particular track of the various Japanese gods. They could recognize the names if they heard them, but figuring out who to talk to would be a game with an entirely different set of rules. And that was only if they assumed that the Japanese deities were the correct ones to talk to about this. Certainly, Aryeh and their mother were both of Japanese descent, but Aryeh’s father was from the Norse pantheon. Did that mean they were better off seeking the Norse god of death, or whoever was in charge of spirits and the afterlife?

All of it made their head swim. They accepted the offer of Mark’s tissue almost without noticing they were doing so.

“I...I don’t even kn-know who-”

Revealing || Amber&Aryeh

The crowd had begun to party again and disperse but an instinct honed by thousands of years of practice told her all was not well. A familiar scent reached her nose and she turned to see a familiar face in the crowd. But it wasn’t just Aryeh that Amber recognized, it was the panic beginning to take hold of her. She moved fast, the crowd parting in her wake as she made her way to Aryeh, knocking over any who dared get in her path. She reached them in less than a minute and gently took Aryeh’s face in her hands. “Look at me Aryeh. Breathe. Let’s go to my office and then we can talk yes?”

Without hesitation and with ease beyond what a human was capable of she lifted Aryeh in her arms gently and took them up the stairs directly into her office. With the door closed tight behind the two of them she set Aryeh down on the couch to the side of her desk. She knelt in front of them and gently placed her hands at their temples. A light glow emanating from the tips of her fingers as her lunar healing began to slow the symptoms of panic. “Breathe Aryeh. In, and out. Slowly. Just focus on my voice only. Estoy aquí para ti.” Amber’s voice was gentle but no less commanding as she slipped into Spanish. It wasn’t her first language and Aryeh likely wouldn’t understand but it was the language she was most comfortable using and thus, it held the most power.

Aryeh’s first instinct was to back away from the approaching...goddess? Is that what Amber was? But their nerves went haywire, their muscles traitorous, their body unwilling to respond to their command center. It was like being a prisoner in their own body. Then Amber’s touch broke through it, like a heat melting the ice that had frozen the gears of Aryeh’s body in place, and even though Aryeh still got flashes of that other form - flashes like visible echoes that existed only in their own mind - they still responded almost automatically to the certainty of Amber’s voice.

Rather than looking into Amber’s face, Aryeh shut their eyes. Their eyes were as traitorous as the rest of their body had been, and if they couldn’t see then they couldn’t see anything that wasn’t real either. As if in direct response to this, Aryeh felt themselves being lifted by strong, almost-familiar arms and moved away from the room. The singular hot-cinnamon smell of Amber assured them that it was no stranger doing this, and they realized with a flush they could feel burning their cheeks that this was the closest that the two of them had ever been. 

They remained silent as they felt the softness of sofa beneath them, finally opening their eyes to the familiar sight of Amber’s office. Aryeh followed the directions, breathing slowly and focusing on the sound of Amber’s voice, the touch of her fingertips and their cool moonlit glow. It was several moments of this before Aryeh finally looked to Amber once again, voice barely steady.