the devil and god are raging inside me

I don’t want to keep destroying myself it’s just the only thing I know how to do well.

I’ve missed ranting my feelings to the void. I don’t know or care who’s listening but if you are thank you, and I love you.

I feel like a collapsing bridge and no matter how many supports I have to keep me up I will collapse. But I can build something better over it. I better be able to. Or else I’ll just collapse again

My mind is deteriorating to a peripheral view of nothing. I keep sinking into holes I dug 6 years ago but now there’s no one to grab or hold my hand. I used to be someone or something. I used to mean something to people. Now I’m stuck in the mud turning into it, and no one is trying to help me get out. I need to get out. I thought I had already been at my worst but fuck, I was so wrong