So It Goes

I broke down then, consumed by the feeling, and out of the corner of my eye I saw my therapist take a tissue and blow his nose. With growing horror I realized that his upbeat manner was perhaps less for my benefit than his own.

"Unfortunately you don't have the luxury of being afraid," he his voice wavering. "Taking action and returning to everyday living is what is required now. Your humanity is exactly what will stop Trump."

He told me a story then, about a group of Jewish Americans who went to visit Israel in the sixties. There they met a well-known Rabbi who in spite of being debilitated by Parkinson's, was a great beacon of light to those around him. He addressed the group and demanded, "what was the lesson of the Holocaust?" Mostly silence ensued, followed by some awkward murmuring of "never forget" and "always fight." More silence.

"No!" the Rabbi said, slamming his fist down on the table. "When the Jews were in Auschwitz, the Nazis gave them one blanket per three people."

"Why did they do this? So that they would fight among themselves. So that their humanity would be stripped away."

"The lesson of the Holocaust, was simple," my therapist said, now crying.

This man did not deserve to go so early and so brutally, not unlike hundreds of others every year. 

This hurts. He didn’t deserve that. 

4 years ago we were sitting in a weird bar watching olympic mens gymnastics and laughing and drinking and getting to know each other and now we’re living together and he made me dinner and made Nutella and our relationship journey still blows my mind.

Today I woke up from a horrendous nightmare

I was comforted by a man a don’t deserve

We did silly things all morning

We went grocery shopping

We made a delicious lunch ( i cooked meat for the first time literally ever)

Went into manhattan to visit the Houdini Museum

Searched for a Jamba Juice for ages

Walked the whole High Line and took two breaks to appreciate the view

Met our other-couple-half for dinner

Saw a silly film in a big group

and got ice cream

I can’t explain it but I want this day documented and in my mind forever.