âŚâŚmimicking the âI love youâ sticky note photos for Raph.
Early on in the relationship, you had seen how insecure he could be. From the moment he asked you out (more like griped and grumbled but whatever), he fought with himself daily over just how you, a beautiful little human, could love him, a giant mutated turtle. He tiptoed around you at times, scared that if you were angry enough, you would realize he was not good enough, not human enough, and dump him. (Which was ridiculous and a little insulting, because you were pretty damn sure of your feelings for him but you let that part go. He didnât mean it like that.)
  You never brought a lot of attention to just how obvious it was, lest he get embarrassed and avoid you. So you did little things for him. Incorporating red into your everyday appearance,
spotting him in the weight room (and letâs be real, he totally used you as a weight to bench press. He likes the booty too much to pass it up),
and generally just being physically affectionate were how you went about showing him that you loved him.
However, it didnât seem to be enough at times. Heâd fall into it, at ease and relaxed and generally allowing himself to be in love. But something always came up and snapped him right out of it. A joke from Mikey about lovebirds, a question from Donnie or Leo about how you were doing if they hadnât seen you in a week, a supportive smile from Splinter when he saw you all cuddled up on the couch, any little thing would send him back into this weird hyper-vigilant cautious state of being and heâd back off.
So you decided to step it up a little. You could never understand what it was like to be a giant mutant turtle who could never walk on the streets in broad daylight and had to live in a sewer. You would never understand what it must feel like to be so different from the majority of society that you felt you would always be alone. You would never understand what it is like to wonder if the love of your life, your very human love of your life, would leave you simply because you were just too big, too freakish, too mutant to be with forever.
But what you did understand is that you loved him and that he would probably always have these doubts, these fears, and it was up to you to help him.
In the words of Jim Morrison, âGirl, you gotta love your man. Take him by the hand. Make him understand.â
So you scoured the internet in hopes of finding a solution. A permanent, physical manifestation of love that he could go back and look at on his own time when he got down. It took about a week of searching before you found something. You had searched Google all the way to the 10th page and had texted nearly everyone in your phone (no Mikey, for the hundredth time, you will not be making edible thongs thankyouverymuch) but you found your solution in the form of an article.
In the article, this man snuck in a  note saying â will you marry meâ in pictures he took with his girlfriend without her noticing and presented all the photos to her in some way. After a brief eureka moment and some tweaking to the concept, you texted April and Donnie immediately about your idea. You would need her sneaky camera skills and his access to the cameras in the lair.
Months went by with you, Donnie, and April all contributing to the project. You opted to use sticky notes that would say âI love youâ instead of a marriage proposal on a note card. Leo, Mikey, Splinter, and Casey were aware of what you had planned and after hours of teasing, they agreed to help keep it a secret.
It was hard to pull off at times because Raph is a ninja and just as adept at figuring out when something is being hidden from him as his brothers are. Especially when it comes to you.
He was easy for you to distract though. He was weak for you. Whenever it seemed like he caught a whiff of what you were planning, a flash of leg, a sweet smile, a head tilt, a hand on his bicep, or a wink would fluster him enough to erase it from his mind.
(It didnât hurt that Leo and Mikey would lend a helping hand to either place or hide the sticky notes if needed or do something to piss Raph off so he wouldnât be concerned with what you were hiding. And yes, cabinet cat is Mikey.)
When you were content with the amount of photos you had, you arranged them all in a scrapbook. Most of the pictures were taken from the surveillance footage. Donnie had shown you exactly where the cameras were, where the light sources were, and where to stand to get the best photos and you had exploited that knowledge every chance you had.
Your favorites were the ones where he is so close but so oblivious.
Raph sleeping next to you, his head peeking out from over your shoulder with his arm wrapped around you, and you holding the camera away with the sticky note in your free hand.
Raph standing beside you, arm around you, but facing the other way with a scowl on his face, while you are gazing up at him looking disgustingly in love. The sticky note was stuck to your shirt, over where your heart is.
Raph and you working on the Tartaruga together - him walking towards the back of the truck, you bent over the hood with the sticky note on your ass.
Some pages had the actual sticky note used in the photos attached to the side of the photo. Not all of them were usable unfortunately but you made due.
On the back of the album, you scrawled out a brief message, âEverything You Want Is On the Other Side of Fear.â You hoped heâd understand.
You had Donnie sneak it into the lair the following night. He made a small pit stop at your house on the way back from patrolling, claiming he left a tool the last time he was over. The album itself was bulky and there was no way you would have been able to sneak it in on your person and Donnie always carried a load of tech stuff anyway. With a smile and wink, he said he drop it on Raphâs bed before Raph came to see you tonight before disappearing out of your window and into the night.
Hours went by and still no signs of Raph at your window. Maybe he didnât understand? Maybe Donnie dropped it and destroyed all your hard work? Maybe he reacted poorly and is now actively avoiding you?
With a heavy heart, you turned out your lights and went to bed.
And were awoken by a large arm pulling you tight to a large chest and a large head nuzzling into the back of your neck. His face was wet but you could hear the deep, happy churr vibrating from his throat and you smiled.
