at the JRPG cafe, and the drink sizes are sod, soda, and sodaga
yes I'd like to order a hambaga

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@mostlyscrutable
at the JRPG cafe, and the drink sizes are sod, soda, and sodaga
yes I'd like to order a hambaga

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What is the ideal room temperature, in degrees Fahrenheit?
15 or lower
16-18
19-21
22-24
25-27
28-30
over 30
Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later
āWhy are you scared of datingā Iām not scared of dating, I just havenāt found anyoneās company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I donāt care
I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet
Also the amulet
Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?
The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third
Itās fair, not everyone is made for polyamuletry.
Iām not a mad scientist, Iām just a disappointed scientist.
The robot army was the only way to express the profound depths of my disappointment.

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The parking attendant paused by the double-length bay. Intended for mobile homes and cars with trailers, it was currently occupied by a sleeping dragon.
No parts of it extended beyond the lines, and the paper ticket was clearly displayed, impaled on a horn.
The parking attendant moved on.
Yeah okay there are like 11 species of heron native to the USA and yes fine Iāve only managed to spot 10 of those species. You might think Iām bitter about that one species evading me but Iām not. Iām actually the Least Bittern person about it in the entire world
The aggravating part is when thereās a million clues that a Least Bittern is in the area and you spend days searching for it and at the end it turns out to just be a red heron.
If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'
@evilwizard
STOP SENDING ME THIS
some days are really hard and it can be difficult to understand why. but usually its probably because my blood is haunted
The problem is I always want to dm my mutuals some shit like "I consider you an ally to my cause"
Reblog to tell your mutuals "I consider you an ally to my cause"

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I absolutely fucking hate this. Gold star, no notes.
"Imagine," says the voice, "that you were underneath a blanket. It's a little small, so your feet poke out from underneath it, and your arms come out from either side."
"Okay," says the human, dangling upside down, suspended by a group of tentacles. "I got it."
"Right," says the voice, which comes from everywhere and nowhere. "Now consider a cat. The cat thinks you're kind of like a cat, but you're so big, he has some problems understanding that all of your body is really you."
"Am I the-"
"Yes. Now listen. Especially under the blanket, the cat doesn't really know where your body begins and ends. He sees your feet, and decides to attack them. He's only play-fighting, but his claws are real sharp, so it hurts. What would you do?"
"Well," says the human, gently spinning in the tentacle's grasp, "I'd try to tuck my feet under the blanket."
"Ah, but then it's even worse," claims the voice, triumphantly, "because now your cat sees Blanket Monsters and attacks them twice as hard."
"So you have to grab the cat."
"It's either that or burrito her," says the voice, squeezing the human in the grip of its tentacles. "And since in this metaphor the blanket represents the fabric of reality as you know it, I don't think you'd find it very pleasant."
"Fair enough," says the human, blood beginning to pool in her head. "Can you please put me down, now? I promise I won't attack you again."
"That's what the cat says every time, too, and yet..."
My friend just sent this in the group chat, we got the new gay or European 2026 update
A rigorous diagnostic. 15 questions. One uncomfortable truth.
okay.
I got the reverse
I like the not necessarily German about it.
slippery wood floor

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fuckkkkkk I cleared the time loop first try
nice to know every choice I made was already optimal but I was really looking forward to learning how to juggle :/
scientists have recently announced that exoplanet HR 3499a is no longer believed to be potentially capable of supporting life, after new spectroscopic readings indicated that it doesn't even have a dishwasher. "i mean, it doesn't even have a fucking dishwasher," said the lead researcher. "I guess you could live there, but, like, would you really want to?"