m o r t u a r y a s s i s t a n t.

feel free to change pronouns / wording!

“ i love this one. ”  

“ it’s trash, lowbrow horror. ”  

“ since when do you work late? ”  

“ i do need a ride tonight. ”  

“ i didn’t say anything, weirdo. ”  

“ you building a shrine or something? ”  

“ some guy went crazy and killed a bunch of people at the mall last night. ”  

“ up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start. ”  

“ it’s the witch! ”  

“ she reaches from beyond the grave, to make good men her wicked slaves! ”  

“ you guys are dicks. ”  

“ how is that not fun? ”  

“ maybe you got a little witch in you. ”  

“ you’re dealing again? ”  

“ off to claim my place among the stars. ”  

“ really looks like they give a damn. ”  

“ i didn’t think you were coming. ”  

“ there’s no peace found in the past. ”  

“ stop acting like i’m the bad guy! ”  

“ i didn’t have a choice. ”  

“ if you’re really lucky, you’re the one carrying the knife. ”  

“ shit is doomed! ”  

“ this is definitely a good idea, right? ”  

“ shit, are you alive? ”  

“ we should not be down here. ”  

“ sometimes accidents just happen. ”  

“ if you do think of anything, give me a call. ”  

“ you won’t stop until you’ve ruined her life completely, will you? ”  

“ remind me what’s in it for me again? ”  

“ that’s disgusting, you’re disgusting. ”  

“ i’m so happy to have the company. ”  

“ he had a knife! ”  

“ you want anything from the machine? ”  

“ stop covering for him! ”  

“ you’re out of control! ”  

“ somebody planted that. ”  

“ you told me to come to you. ”  

“ know thy enemy, right? ”  

“ would you say he was more dawn of the dead, or night of the living dead? ”  

“ i have no idea what came over me. ”  

“ you stole a cop’s gun? ”  

“ they didn’t believe us. ”  

“ i hate to break it to you but normal bitches don’t bleed black fucking blood! ”  

“ i always liked this sweater. ”  

“ there are people trying to kill us. ”  

“ it’s something babysitters make up to scare kids. ”  

“ i can’t believe you’re wearing that. ”  

“ this is bad, this is really bad! ”  

“ your nose… ”  

“ i think there’s someone in the woods! ”  

“ maybe because it’s not like the movies, okay?! ”  

“ what do they do in jaws? ”  

“ i’m pretty sure they didn’t go skinny-dipping with the goddamn bait. ”  

“ can you help me? ”  

“ this is all my fault. ”  

“ you make me feel… like me. ”  

“ you’re a monster. ”  

“ i’m being reasonable. ”  

“ you’re not doing this alone. ”  

“ the witch wants you dead, so… we kill you. ”  

“ fuck it, i’m dying tonight one way or another. ”  

“ you’re gonna feel like you’re being fucked by a unicorn. ”  

“ we would not be this far if it weren’t for you. ”  

“ i couldn’t really see anything. ”  

“ i fell on some glass. ”  

“ you look like a ghost. ”  

“ it’s not over, it’s never over. ”  

* tw for mentions of blood / drinking blood / death + murder .

Human. 

❝ that’s a lot of blood. ❞

❝ so you drink [human] blood ? ❞

❝ how long has it been since you fed ? ❞

❝ bite me. ❞

❝ you just bit me ! ❞

❝  i don’t believe in vampires. ❞

❝ i want to be your familiar. ❞ 

❝ can you turn in to a bat ? ❞

❝ you don’t have a reflection ! ❞

❝ so do you sleep in a coffin ? ❞

❝ you’re gonna need a bigger coffin. ❞

❝ so, how old are you really ? ❞

❝ your skin’s always so cold. ❞

❝ if you need to feed, you can bite me. ❞

❝ you can bite me, i trust you. ❞ 

❝ what does it taste like ? / what do i taste like ? ❞

❝ you’re [not] a monster. ❞

Vampire.

❝ drink this, you’ll feel better. ❞

❝ i’m [not] a monster. ❞

❝ i haven’t fed in awhile. ❞

❝ it’s dangerous for you to be here when i’m like this. ❞

❝ i want you to be my familiar. ❞

❝ forget what you think you know, vampires exist. ❞

❝ no, that’s a myth. ❞

❝ i’m not going to eat you. ❞

❝ you call it a myth, i call it a bad stereotype. ❞

❝ your taste so sweet / bitter / good / bad. ❞

❝ your blood smells so sweet / bitter / good / bad. ❞ 

❝ it’s been awhile since i tasted fresh blood. ❞

❝ you’re so warm. / i forgot how warm living is. ❞

❝ you have to invite me in. ❞

❝ i think i just killed someone. ❞

❝ honestly ? i’m terrified i’m going to have to spend eternity alone. ❞

Actions.   ( add a + to reverse the action ! )

[ BITE. ]  the sender bites receiver on the ( neck / wrist / thigh / bodypart ) to drink their blood.

[ TURN. ]  the sender turns the receiver into a vampire.

[ BLOODLUST ]  the sender has gone too long without feeding, base instincts taking over, the receiver finds them. 

[ COFFIN. ]  the sender stumbles upon the receiver sleeping in a coffin. 

[ STAKE. ]  after finding out the receiver is a vampire, the sender tries to stake them. 

[ MIRROR. ]  when passing a mirror, the receiver notices the sender does not have a reflection. 

[ OFFER. ]  after noticing the receiver hasn’t fed in a few days / weeks, the sender offers to let the receiver feed from them.

[ MESS. ]  the sender finds the receiver covered in blood that certainly isn’t their own.

“Now is not the time.”

“You’re not being helpful.”

“And you couldn’t mention that any earlier?”

“The only skill you have is that you know how to be in the way.”

“I know exactly what I’m doing.”

“At least I’m capable of admitting I’m wrong.”

“And it didn’t occur to you it might be important?”

“Thanks, you’re helpful. And five minutes late!”

“Shut your mouth for once.”

“Is thinking too much asked?”

“You better fix that right now!”

“For once in your life, use that thing inside your head. The one called ‘brain.’”

“Great, you’re just what I needed.”

“Oh, and you’re so great yourself?”

“If you hadn’t come, I would’ve managed just fine.”

(  more  angsty  dialogue  prompts  to  devastate  your  writing  partners.  metaphorically.  feel  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ you’re a weapon, and weapons don’t weep. ❜

❛ you can’t save everyone. ❜

❛ it should have been you. ❜

❛ did i do good? ❜

❛ i’m sorry that i can’t save you. ❜

❛ wait for me, will you? ❜

❛ i can’t lose you again! ❜

❛ you were dead, i saw you die. ❜

❛ we won’t forget each other, right? ❜

❛ i’m real. i’m here. ❜

❛ you already know how this will end. ❜

❛ it’s always my fault, isn’t it? ❜

❛ i don’t want to go. ❜

❛ can you remember how you died? ❜

❛ i love you, but you’re not mine. ❜

❛ have you ever lost someone? ❜

❛ i didn’t ask to get made. ❜

❛ you’re as beautiful as the day i lost you. ❜

❛ i never meant to hurt you. ❜

❛ is it really you? ❜

❛ their blood is on your hands. ❜

❛ it would have been better to die. ❜

❛ i’m not ready to lose you yet. ❜

❛ i wish i met you sooner. ❜

❛ let’s just stay here. grow old. ❜

❛ you’re the first friend i ever had. ❜

❛ i told you not to fall in love with me. ❜

❛ you always push people away. i just thought you’d never do it to me. ❜

❛ everyone i’ve cared about has either died or left me. except for you. ❜

❛ i know i have a heart because i can feel it breaking. ❜

❛ they’re not coming back. ❜

❛ i’m sorry, have we met? ❜

❛ in my dreams, we’re still together. ❜

❛ you’re the one good thing left in this world. ❜

❛ i hate the way that i don’t hate you. ❜

❛ it’s okay. you can let go. ❜

❛ you mean nothing to me. ❜

❛ we’re on our own now. ❜

❛ you can’t kill me, i’m not alive. ❜

❛ it wasn’t supposed to end like this. ❜

❛ do you remember when we first met? ❜

❛ we’ll see each other again. ❜

❛ there’s nothing you could have done. ❜

❛ we did it. we won. ❜

❛ let’s not go back. not ever. ❜

❛ thanks for playing with me. ❜