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I am Mort the Wizard!

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thaparasite

I have finally gone through the anual General Knoledge Magic Exam and am throughly EXAUSTED

My mana? GONE WITH MY WILL TO STAND.

My dignity? EQUALLY VANISHED.

My needyness? Always persistent.

it would be a shame if a big strong hairy (and not affiliated with any illegal magic gangs) wizard came to confort me in my tower where im all alone and very sweaty because MY CURSED FAN HAS STOPPED WORKING

+ photo of me at the pixie pond

mortthewizard

Hey

jaketheapprentice

ok sooo the boat ride to the island was going smoothly

UNTIL OUR BOAT GOT STRUCK BY FUCKING LIGHTNING AND OUR STARGUIDE FELL IN THE WATER 😭😭😭😭 ITS NOT EVEN RAINING???? IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND ITS SO DARK AND WINDY WE ARE DIRECTIONLESS AND SCARED AT SEA

@calico-in-the-forest @mortthewizard

mortthewizard

Wow thats s teribnle haha im at sa sick wizardsl party at weev's rn so cant help . God luck thoguh my boy godsped!! boat on

#mortthewizard #apprenticees arlways gettng in stuatioins lolol

Wizards!

I am officially sending my apprentice @jaketheapprentice on his quest tomorrow morning. If you see him, feel free to give him a side quest if you need anything. I’m sure he won’t be hard to find.

Here are the places he is going, in case you happen to be along his path. See my previous community post on the matter if you would like a more detailed list.

(Starting Destination: just south of West Folds)

1. Island of Mord off the West Coast

2. The Salin-Malum Cave System on the northwest coast (by the Erroan Ocean)

3. The Frost Termite Mounds in the Northeastern Plains

4. My Rival Lorelei’s Eastern Beach Home

5. The East Picadilly Open Marketplace near East Point

I request that you don’t help or hinder him too much, as his independence is an important factor should he achieve any growth from this quest. You may find it in your interest, however, to give him riddles or clues if that sort of thing enlivens you.

#wizardblr #wizardposting #wizard rp #mortthewizard #jaketheapprentice

birowizard

this potion got me fucked up what do you MEAN stir counter clockwise five times then stir clockwise three times WHILE ALSO ADDING MF DRAGONS FIRE 😭😭😭

mortthewizard

This is why I quit alchemy, too many sweats

#wizardposting #reblog

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thaparasite

weed

mortthewizard

all my wizards love weed

What would you do if I arrived at the function in this fit:

(and nothing else)

#wizardblr #wizardposting #wizard rp #mort the wizard

mortthewizard

My apprentice won’t stop singing to forest creatures like gay Cinderella. Now every time i open my tower windows 15-20 assorted birds and small rodents flood inside and it takes half an hour to clear them out

the-mighty-dalob

Why clear them out when you can use them as Potion Ingredients or Dragon food?

mortthewizard

Excellent idea! I will implement it the second I see another beast in my castle

My apprentice won’t stop singing to forest creatures like gay Cinderella. Now every time i open my tower windows 15-20 assorted birds and small rodents flood inside and it takes half an hour to clear them out

#wizard #wizard shit #wizardblr #wizardposting #wizardcore #mortthewizard #jaketheapprentice

hairlessjackalope

Now that Halloween has come to a close I feel it's an important public service announcement to give all summoned demons and lesser deities some parting gifts before you banish them back to the shadows. We all know you'll regret eating all that chocolate and candy is a rare thing for astral and undead beings. Share the spirit of the holiday and send those skeletons back to Hell with some skittles.

#wizardposting #halloween

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thaparasite

its funny how some call gay people "fairies" when all of the fairies I met have been extraordinarily homophobic

mortthewizard

Once I was gathering herbs in the forest near my tower and a swarm of fairies descended upon me and gaybashed my new hat

#mort the wizard #wizardblr #wizardposting #wizard rp

Fun Fact: On the island of Mord (off the west coast), there used to be several species of invasive scorpions. In my younger years, I led a small group of radical environmentalist wizards to exterminate them, so that Native species could flourish. After several months of ceaseless battle, we extinguished nearly all of the beasts, ending their oppressive tyranny and restoring the island to its colorful, biodiverse state.

In tribute, some locals named the island after me, though knowledge of the label back then had only been passed through word of mouth, so the “t” at some point rounded off into a “d”.

#wizard #wizard shit #wizardblr #wizardposting #wizardcore #wizard rp #mort the wizard

I have been enlightened to the fact that there is much joy to be found in experimenting with different hat types! Now that I have begun to broaden my horizons I can only imagine what this will mean for my progress as a Wizard and as a Man.

#wizardblr #wizard #wizardposting #wizardcore #wizard rp #mort the wizard #mortisms

mortthewizard

My apprentice is no longer being held custody for mistakenly casting Fireball in the general direction of the South.

Also, my condolences to whoever will be responsible for mending that very large singed hole in the side of my apprentice’s former holding cell. I hope they find the person responsible for this shocking destruction of Wizard Council property.

b-witchy

You offer me your condolences??? How about your effort? How about your assistance? I had to fly all the way up here from Forestsboro to patch that fucking hole. Maybe cover up your magic signature properly next time, asshole.

mortthewizard

I am very remorseful it had to be this way, but unfortunately my apprentice’s safety is rather vital to me for secret wizard reasons.

However, if you would like, I can send the boy to your estate as a free assistant for a short while in restitution. He makes for a decently talented helper for most magical things, except those involving fire.

b-witchy

I'm not a babysitter. Why don't you teach him a bit about magically fortified stonemasonry? Preferably with lighter-colored granite, to better match the bricks that weren't destroyed...

mortthewizard

Never mind I’m going to go teach that boy incendiary spells like you wouldn’t believe witch

mortthewizard

My apprentice is no longer being held custody for mistakenly casting Fireball in the general direction of the South.

Also, my condolences to whoever will be responsible for mending that very large singed hole in the side of my apprentice’s former holding cell. I hope they find the person responsible for this shocking destruction of Wizard Council property.

b-witchy

You offer me your condolences??? How about your effort? How about your assistance? I had to fly all the way up here from Forestsboro to patch that fucking hole. Maybe cover up your magic signature properly next time, asshole.

mortthewizard

I am very remorseful it had to be this way, but unfortunately my apprentice’s safety is rather vital to me for secret wizard reasons.

However, if you would like, I can send the boy to your estate as a free assistant for a short while in restitution. He makes for a decently talented helper for most magical things, except those involving fire.

#wizard #wizardblr #wizardposting #wizardcore #wizard shit #wizard rp #mortthewizard

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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FREE

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My apprentice is no longer being held custody for mistakenly casting Fireball in the general direction of the South.

Also, my condolences to whoever will be responsible for mending that very large singed hole in the side of my apprentice’s former holding cell. I hope they find the person responsible for this shocking destruction of Wizard Council property.

#wizard #wizardblr #wizardposting #wizardcore #wizard shit #southern wizard community #wizard rp #mortthewizard #jaketheapprentice

jaketheapprentice

dawg the south jus locked me up for casting fireball 😭 it wasn’t even on purpose fr

#wizardblr #wizardposting #wizard #wizardcore #wizard shit

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