JinItoo

This was the bitchiest bitch moment Aziraphale had in all 2 seasons. Thank you for your service, respectfully, I am deceased.

***

He’s not waking up.

Okay. Alright. You were prepared for this. You were ready for this. It’s not the first time it’s happened, and it won’t be the last. Remember how you dealt with this in the past, and you’ll be alright.

Gods, has his blood always been this sticky? No, probably just coagulating. Alright, that gaping wound looks awful– why am I feeling sick? Usually blood has other effects on me.

I need to think. I need to think. His eyes are still open, the least I could do is close– fuck. His flesh is room temperature, which means he’s already cold.

He’s so cold.

He’s gone.

Gods damn it, focus, Astarion. He’s gone. It’s been fun, but he was always going to be gone. You knew this. You were ready. You prepared yourself for this.

“...I love you…”

No! Shut up! Shut up, shut up! Oh, gods, my chest. I’m going to be sick. I can’t be sick, can I?

“Astarion.”

Shadowheart is here.

“Astarion. I’m sorry.”

Silence. I’m alright. I have to be alright. Oh, gods, his rings– they are valuable, it could buy us a night or a two in a tavern, or a plot somewhere to bury this gigantic–

“Astarion!”

“I’m fine. Give me five minutes and I’ll be ready.”

Ugh. This ring only fits on my thumb. It makes me remember how his hands felt on my skin. How his tongue wet my collarbone, how his breath tickled my belly, how my name was whispered like a prayer. When he spoke, when he used my last name at the inn, when he killed for me, when he–

“Astarion. It’s been three hours. The sun is coming up. You need to get back into the caravan.”

“I don’t care. Let it burn me.”

I don’t want to burn. I don’t want to die. I want to live. I want him to live.

“Astarion. Go to the caravan. Now!”

No. Gods damn it all! Why the hells am I crying? It usually takes less time to get over this, I–

“ASTARION! You are turning to ash!”

Since when is Shadowheart strong enough to force me to move?

I don’t want him to leave me. I don’t want to go back to the shadows. I don’t want to be alone and hungry again. I don’t want to do this alone.

“I need to fix this. I will fix this. I will bring you back. I WILL BRING HIM BACK. I--"

I did a trend.

I commissioned the talented @nikoadmeliora to draw a scene from Late Dawns and Early Sunsets by the amazing @badmarilynart.