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i mostly post about spring awakening (mostly moritz) (particularly obc + the original play) (particularly john gallagher jr.)

i also love other musicals, pre-code horror films, film in general, music, tv and other musicals. i am a lover of many things. i will post anything i like :3

send me asks anytime! or dm me anytime! i love talking to people!

i disappeared for months and i hate to say it is because i got a JOB and i became INFATUATED with my COWORKER and it is a modern day horror.

anyways. this is not really relevant. since my last dabbling in talking about spring awakening, my life has changed so much. i work with high school-age kids with complex needs and i am a real adult with a job that has a lot of responsibilities. the most frustrating part is that i am still troubled by the disgust i feel when i am reminded that i have the capacity to love. i have the responsibility of guiding young people into a promising future and the nauseating naivety of being not-quite-adult-enough to come to terms with the breadth of my emotional capacity. (i’m wording this like a robot because the last time i spoke of my feelings earnestly i had an anxiety attack and threw up on the street)

i suppose what i’m trying to say is that growing up is hard when you experience the kind of arrested development you see in a character like moritz. having to grow into a figure of authority like the adults in the play feels like a betrayal to your younger self. i am still trying to reconcile this within myself. but refusing to allow it to get the better of me feels like the overarching message of the musical’s success over the years. it is an undying lesson, that we can’t allow ourselves to forget what it feels like to be young and curious and vulnerable. that, more than anything, the production is a vindication of the work that i am trying to do, behind all of its punchy emo decoration.

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