Kings Landing’s Only Influencer

the whole point of the Kingsguard is that they’re unbelievably fucking washed like zero heroic deeds on the board just morning noon night overtime fraud aura farming. Complicit in every act of patriarchal violence of the monarchy. Not even that good at fighting. Hypothetical victories only. Like “noooo Arthur Dayne would’ve—” except Arthur Dayne lay down his life to stop a pregnant 15 year-old dying in childbirth from seeing her big brother on her deathbed and then got fucking hosed by teenage Ned Stark and his gay best friend who does not hit 5 foot two. “Ohhhhhh aemon the dragonknight” kept his sister in that damn cage for decades and then died in the service of his brother which is dickrider behavior. Bystanderan Selmy? Washed.

No fr tho kingsgaurd is lame guard this is why Jamie was cool for killing Aerys II and Sandor was cool for being like fuck u joff and covering Sansa

Thinking about the time i watched true blood and how pissed off that scene where he crawls out of the dirt to immediately fuck her and how pissed off that shit made me. How the hell are you going to fuck her with that dirt dick. This was years ago it still gets to me. How is fucking someone with a dick that was in DIRT (SOIL, MUD) and immediately fuck someone and that's romantic. I dont are that you're alive you dont know what was touching your dick. There are parasites in the dirt. There are worms and such. Is it romantic to stick your dick in a planter and the immediately go fuck your partner with dirt still on your dick? Don't piss me off. Maybe I dont know enough about the workd

This is really true because bill compton literally raw dogs being buried in the ground, no coffin or anything, and then he emerges and they have sex RIGHT THERE. he is entirely covered in soil and it’s sooooo crazy like how does that even work logistically ?? I feel like the friction from the dirt would be so bad.