Aye Caramba & Mamma Mia~

Of-fucking-course. That’s all you are.

"There you are, my lovely girl..." he greeted her, running his fingers trough her long, thick hair. "There you are... " she loved Autumn. Loved how sun reflected on the colourful bouquet in the garden, loved how the weather turned just right for long afternoons outside. But most of all... most of all, she loved how hearing the crunching maple leaves underneath her feet made him grin. "Almost like seeing her", he used to say. So she ran loudly. *crunch crunch crunch * and she watched him laugh.

I wonder... Why..?

If that's the case, then why my stitches stay..?

The Castle in the sky is falling. The Princess is crying. The Queen.. well, the Queen is dying. The King got lost in the Labyrinth so narrow. The Prince is a goner. The Castle’s still falling, The Witch, he is yawning. The Raven’s crow is as loud as the snow, The falling of leaves so soft, you fall deep. The Price, he is blind. His face is so white. The Princess is screaming, her shriek pierces cotton the Witch wrapped the King in. The Minotaur clenches his fist, the Labyrinth shivers. The Castle in sky keeps on falling, The Queen, meanwhile, is dead. The Witch’s still yawning, his laughter too silent to hear. The Prince reaches goal, his eyes are still missing, the journey takes toll, The King is still lost, his Princess keeps screaming. The Castle in the sky is falling. The Witch down below keeps on yawning. The Story is told. A thousand different ways. The Story, it gets old, meaning gets distorted. The Castle still keeps falling. The Raven cows. The Witch keeps on yawning.

I’ve been dreaming of you lately. Well, daydreaming more like, since nightly dreams have never truly been my thing. Your smile has been shining brightly. Too brightly,really, hard to see a thing. With you I’m silent. Really, that’s what tells me it’s a dream since when am I ever so silent? Oh right. It’s never. Heh. I keep on dreaming. A dream too real. Too realistic. With touch that burns within. I keep on seeing you. You’re underneath my skin. It itches. Terrible. So terrible it gives me shivers. Ugh. Keep breathing. Yeah that’s me. And you keep laughing. Smiling. A smile to outshine the Sun on any given day. Im dreaming. Daydreaming, fine, whatever, still. It isn’t real. Keep breathing. I keep reminding me I’m dreaming. And you’re still seeping. Underneath my skin. I won’t wake up. Please, let me fall asleep.

Underneath the piano lid, Where wild music breathes, Little deaf elf living there Plays with the piano strings. Creating sounds creates vibrations Which little elf then dances to, With dragonfly that lost its wings, Swaying to the tune. The little girl that bathed in darkness, Could feel vibrations too, While she touched the lid of piano gently, Running clumsy stubby fingers Over the glistening top, She smiled ever slightly, to little deaf elf dancing to the tune. And dragonfly then learned to dance, since elf had wanted tango, And little girl that breathed the darkness rose with sound of piano, rose straight to the moon.

You make a plan. You ask permission. You don't receive it. Shrugging you make another plan. According to priorities. And She is your priority. Always and forever. You make a plan. You ask three times. You get 'okay' so you proceed. You figure things out slowly. Step by step. You have a plan. Your phone rings and you run. You toss all plans aside. Prioritise. You do your best. You work your fingers to the bone. It's not enough. You try your hardest. Through pain and sweat and tears you work. Not good enough. Prioritise. Put Her first. Always and forever. Yet nothing seems to work. You move aside to let her pass - turns out that side was where she's headed. Every attempt at cleaning that you make creates a bigger mess. All you do is mess. You're chaos. Everything you say is wrong. Everything you make turns rotten. Everything you do is soon forgotten. You are just not good enough. Never. Good. Enough.

I’m weird. I’m loud. I’m wrong, so wrong. But I’m still here. I breathe. I live.

I found something, I never knew I had lost. I just sometimes felt empty, as if I missed That something deep inside, I had forbidden myself to miss. I found something. And it was strange,unknown, uncharted. I was afraid,it'd come to mean too much to me. It did. I found something, it said, 'Approach with caution', But this is me, I don't approach, I storm. And when I did, I saw, not see, but saw. I saw so much,I didn't see a thing. I found something, and now my heart is breaking. From fear,that what I found will leave. I think this time, the leaving will get me broken, and with that, I wish I never found a thing...

They used to kiss with fire, They used to stage most fights. Lacing their arms together, Laughing till they cry. They used to sleep together, To steal each other’s covers, to shiver in the cold. Licking one other’s wounds, however, had never been a thing. Hiding behind walls, thick enough to kill. Saying they were protecting, From needle pricks so thin. Secrets that they kept, Were gnawing them inside, Faces streaked with blood, Smiling through the fear. When it all exploded, they thought that they were done. Wounds too deep to lick clean, Scars were left within… They still kiss with fire, Since secrets are all dead. They stage all of their fighting, They keep laughing in the storms. Dancing with no music, Humming selves to sleep, They keep their fingers laced together, And wake with falling stars.

If i ever fall ill, I'll tell you I won't lie. If I ever feel like breaking, I won't hide. If im ever screaming in my head from fear, I'll cry, in front of you. If I'm ever gasping for air, I'll reach for your hand. If I ever tremble from cold, I'll poke you and ask to warm me up. If I ever feel alone, I'll ask for a hug. If I ever... If I find out I'm dying, I promise to help you prepare. I'll be horrid at times, and at times you will hate me. I will stomp and I'll cry and I'll show ugly faces. Even when I'm wrong and it's fact, I'll stand by it. On principal. I will sing, sometimes, or dance while I cook. I'll be chaos and pain and, in general, a little bit insane. However. I'll always hold your hand. I'll always try to help. I'll always wipe your tears. I'll always slay your fears. I'll be brutally, agonisingly honest. I'll be your shield, from the wind, or the sun or people dishonest. I'll protect you from you, even if you curse me and cry. I will always be there, to say welcome home, when you arrive. I will cook, but not always, but sometimes I will spoil you rotten. Even if sometimes important dates might be forgotten. I will stand by you, through thick and thin and breaking glass under your skin. I may be damaged, I may sometimes go crazy, but I'll always find my way to you. When you need me, I'll be there, no matter the distance. When you need, I will leave, no matter the price. I won't keep you chained, I won't ask you to stay, I will be your home when you need it. When you don't,I will keep away. Just sometimes,please, know, sometimes I'll need you, to wipe my tears away. Know,that sometimes a smile as broken as heart, held from falling to pieces by glue may be. Know I'm fragile, I'm wilful, I'm petty. Know I'll be strong just for you sometimes. Know I'll need help, even while I'm helping, know that for you, I will stand even while I'm breaking. I might feel indifferent, or cold, or distant at first. But wait until I know you. When I know you, really know you, you'll never feel the cold. If you fall I'll catch you, If you jump I'll jump too, So jump with me,let's leap together, On journey flying to the Moon.

When I die, do not dare weep, for I’m not gone, I’m there. I’ll stay forever in the wind, that strokes your cheeks so softly. I’ll stay forever in the rain, that washes all your fears away. I’ll stay in clouds, that guard your eyes, from sunlight’s rays too strong. I’ll stay in moonlight nightly walks on roads unmarked by maps, I’ll stay in trees, I’ll stay in grass. I’ll stay forever all around you, so do not grieve, but laugh. For I’m not gone, I’m here, beside you until we meet again.

Swallow me whole, don’t let me escape.

Not giving up, not letting go.

Begin cycle anew.

I was so worried that you would leave my side, Was so concerned, I didn't see you go. The blinds are all wide open, I can not find the keys, The door is sighing lonely, It saw how you left me. Rain falls from heavens slowly, I'm drenched down to the bone, My worry's slowly fading, Twas wise to let you go. Sad nights twirl round me, I can not see the skies. What have I done to me, I wonder, worry, cry. Laugh superficial, fake, untrue. I wonder if anyone else can notice, like you used to do? My eyes feel like a desert, I cry now solid salt. Was I right? I find the key, the blinds are open, I can not see the skies. Three am is quiet, but for soft whispers of snores I'm so accustomed they sound like lullabies. I let you go, I know, but please, won't you come back to me? You turn around, you smile slowly. The smile makes me wince. Was I always that sad? Your eyes are laughing, I can see. The fake, the untrue laughter, ricochets inside my mind. Take my hand, I pull you back. The soft clinking of the keys. You enter me, you disappear, you vanish in the quiet morning's air. I don't feel whole. It'll take time. I let you go, will you forgive me? My heart, my life, my soul.