chloe k i n g

❛ Don’t take this personally, but get out. ❜

❛ He’s my gentleman caller. ❜

❛ I had the fuzzy clock and it didn’t purr on time. ❜

❛ There is no use for a lava lamp unless you’re on drugs. ❜

❛ You’re idiots, the both of you. ❜

❛ I’m afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron. ❜ 

❛ People are particularly stupid today. I can’t talk to any more of them. ❜ 

❛ If that’s some sort of drug reference, it isn’t funny. ❜

❛ Great, then we can hold hands and skip afterwards. ❜ 

❛ I read an article in the paper recently that said that weddings are an excellent place to meet men/women. ❜ 

❛ You know what, you’re the one asking for something so you don’t get to be James Dean. ❜

❛ As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible. ❜ 

❛ How many cocktails caused that? ❜  

❛ You have to sleep, it’s what keeps you pretty. ❜

❛ I don’t know how I feel about you saying the word cahoots.  ❜ 

❛ ____ , are you a gigolo? ❜ 

❛ Very clever, but not clever enough, bucko! ❜

❛ You are going to be so fat. ❜ 

❛ I find nothing exciting before eleven.  ❜ 

❛ Well, I’m a compulsive liar.  ❜ 

❛ Because I’m very, very gay. ❜

❛ You are certainly not going to Google me!  ❜ 

❛ I finally get asked out on a date and I missed it! ❜ 

❛ Will you just stand still? ❜ 

❛ So sad not to have a cocktail every time he comes by. ❜

❛ Well, the liquor store is a little further out than I’d like.  ❜ 

❛ No, I’m not good with big spoons unless there’s ice cream on the end.  ❜ 

❛ No, ____ . This great man was not brought down by my vagina, okay?  ❜ 

❛ I like a man who settles. ❜ 

❛ Sick people freak me out. ❜

❛ Wow. Sleeping with you is getting me nothing.  ❜ 

❛ Special? Like, “stop eating the paste” special?  ❜ 

❛ Well, then, buy me a boa and drive me to Reno because I am open for business.  ❜ 

❛ When a woman gives birth to a crack baby, you do not buy her a puppy.  ❜ 

❛ Well, you know my babbling capabilities are infinite.  ❜ 

❛ You were really bored when I was gone, weren’t you? ❜ 

❛ This is the suit they buried my dad in.  ❜ 

❛ Voices in your head…totally normal, right? ❜

❛ God, that’s terrible. It’s like drinking a My Little Pony.  ❜

❛ You know I don’t cook.  ❜ 

❛ He’s getting to be a serious pain in the you-know-what. ❜ 

❛ I’ve often wondered, does someone in your family own a flannel company?  ❜ 

❛ you’re the man/woman I want to want.  ❜ 

❛ Hey, did you ever think that Sylvia Plath wasn’t crazy, she was just cold? ❜

❛ Can’t, these aren’t my pants. ❜

❛ Am I crying or laughing? ❜

❛  I love you, you idiot. ❜

❛ Because if you decided you really did want to date ____ , I would help you…get vaccinated. ❜

❛ I don’t like mondays but unfortunately they come around eventually.  ❜

❛ I need coffee in an IV. ❜ 

❛ Have I ever been mistaken for a patient person? ❜